Salka

Oh, also, let me try to translate that joke a little better, Rodi: That joke smells of pooh. Man, if only I had one of those Age Verification things, I'd send you a whole bunch of crap porno right now. Oh, and also if your Mom probably wasn't dead.

Wait, hang on. I got a joke. Knock Knock Who's there? YO MOMMA!!! No, wait, that was crap. Alright. Um... Oh! Got one! Got one! Two policemen visited the President one raining night in late November. Dubya opened the door in his nightgown. "Mr President?" Said the First Policeman. "That's me!" Dubya said. "We'd like to you come with us," Said the Second Policeman, "To identify the mangling, raped and beaten bodies of your two daughters and your wife and also some various body parts from your father and the bodies of all your extended relatives and members of the Republican Party. Oh, and also, your Mother is dead." Hahaha! That was hilarious! And wait, I've got more! George W. Bush walks into a bar, breaks his nose, and dies while undergoing cosmetic surgery two weeks later. Wait! Whoa! I'm having a ... a WAVE of ideas! They just keep coming! I think I'm a genius or something! Here's another! George W. Bush goes to the doctor. "Doctor, my leg hurts," he complains. "Yes, hmmm, yes," said the Doctor, gravely. "I can see we're going to have to amputate your testicles and then kill your Mom until she's dead."

It looks really awkward to use...

That is because they are being controlled by me.

You may have won out there, but the the Forums of Idle Thumbs you're a LOSER and we don't LIKE you. And you SMELL.

You think Bush can stop terrorism? You think he can march in to these countries and put a magical end to something that's gone on for thousands of years in some shape or form? Now that we're going on about his wife, let's talk about Bush's daughters. They're pissheads. Why are they such pissheads? You twat. No, apparently all you need is for somebody to tell you that there's big bad terrorists waiting to blow you all up if you don't vote for him.

In this time of crisis throughout the Forums of Idle Thumbs, we need to come together, male and female, men and women, rich and poor, heterosexual and straight... we need to come together to form a single, united voice to stand strong against our enemies at AG. It is with a heavy heart I must tell you that AG have started their hacking attacks on our forums. It is a sad day when godless people try to quell our love of freedom. But that's life. That's the way the cookie crumbles. Not the gay cookie, mind you. It's a very, very straight cookie. Gay Cookies don't even exist, anyway. If you don't believe me, just think about it because it's obvious. Also, even if they did exist it would still be a straight cookie because I'm not gay. Or am I? I don't know. No. Yes, no I'm not. Anyway, it's a straight cookie. Since voting in this newly established Democrazy is kind of pointless, I'll skip all the formalities and now declare myself, Georgina Twat, President of the Forums of Idle Thumbs, and my good friend Prick Cunningham as your Vice President.

Just as long as the candidate is neither female, nor black, or in fact anything other than white christian male.... I'm happy.

President Bush and Vice President Jesus signing some Death Certificates in Bush's home in Texas last Friday.

That would solve so many problems in my life, or at least, two.

Too bad it would be incredibly lame trying to kneel, crawl or sidestep on it... or jump... or do pretty much anything...

Look! Ireland is barely polluted at all! Go team EIRE! So from what I hear, Kerry lost because he didn't go visit Florida after the Hurricanes, but Bush DID go there and stood and waved around a bit saying things like, "I really care about all the dead people! I love you! God loves you! God loves me!" Today I walked past a tour bus full of Americans, and the tour bus was called Irishland Adventure Tours. Irishland Adventure Tours. You fucking idiots. All Americans shall hereby be classified as fuckwits, with the exception of those living in the following states; 1. Blue ones. I'm trying to upload a picture I took of all of todays headlines, but I can't get it to send from my cell phone to my e-mail. Still, to give you an idea... BUSH'S WORLD: How can 58,680,364 people be so DUMB? 51% of Americans have NO CLUE Brace yourself for Four More Years Florida actually to blame for Four More Years Lies and deceit pay off for Bush God admits bad taste in men, presidents How did he do it? Americans are dumb That's the state of the headlines in a lot of papers out here right now. The world is laughing at you guys.

I'd like to see you try to wake up as an American when you wake up... dead.

I got the feeling with Kerry that he had to say a lot of things even to stay in favour with the American people. A lot of you guys (not anybody I know on these forums, thank god) seem to believe everything Bush says. He's fucked with your minds. He's actually SCARED you into submission. You know that syndrome that hostages get for their kidnappers sometimes? It's the same as that, pretty much. He told you all that you were unsafe, and you saw his strong leadership as the only way to keep safe. It was all lies! Jesus fucking CHRIST why can't those people see that?! Anyway, Kerry, I feel, had to say a lot of things like that because otherwise the American people, already scared and confused by Bush, would definitely not vote for him. Like when Bush conveniently forgot to mention he was a warmonger and a murderer before he got into office the first time, but opposite style.

Since everything that happens in the US affects all us small people over here, yes it fucking is. Whenever the President wipes his ass, we raise the price of toilet paper. And when the President takes a dump, we're sure to smell it too. I hope Bush makes some horrible, horrible fucking mistake, like accidentally on purpose blowing up Middle America with nuclear weapons of mass destruction, leaving a neat crater that completely obliterates all the red states but leaves the blue ones neatly intact. And all the Texas people would be crawling around New Mexico with their teeth, because that's where they'd have been blown to, crying and saying, "I wish I could find my son. Oh, how I wish I'd never voted Bush!" But at that point I'll be laughing and smearing his blood on my face and saying, "Well it's too late, sucka, because guess what? YA DID!" and then I'll laugh some more. I fucking hate you guys. You fucking assholes. It's not even like you've been duped by a con artist. You've voted for the fucking DEVIL and he wasn't even in DISGUISE. And even worse, he's so fucking stupid he probably even fools HIMSELF. You FUCKWITS. You fucking TITS. I hope he blows up your homes and creates a race of supernazis to keep you all in place. Good luck bringing up your children in COMMUNIST AMERICA.

Shattered Sponge says: What did Bush have to do to lose? Masturbate on national TV?

[bitter] What seems strange is that Irish Media depicts Bush 24/7 as a completely idiotic turd (not what seems strange yet) and every Irish person hates him. Every. No exceptions. So when we see you guys voting him back in, it's hard to believe or understand why. We don't have nutcase fundamentalist christians over here, though. [/bitter]

It looks... it can't be... but it looks... almost... like a joke! Only we all know I never mess around, so it couldn't be.

But did you sit at a window and hug your knees, while crying silently to yourself? And then did you try to phone home but they didn't really care so you hung up and cried a little more? And then did you develop a non-sexual love for a man four times your age, and frolick around Rome with him wearing a pink wig? And then did you get pissed off with him for sleeping with Sarah Brightman and not you? Anyway, I don't understand why anybody enjoyed this movie, 'cause it's shit.

That was the funniest thing I've heard all minute!

But we're not going to talk about them because that would be a waste of time...

Even though my laptop is really awesome and shoots rainbows from its eyes and whatnot, it can't connect to the internet. I think it might be because I broke the internal modem. Anyhoo, that's not the problem. Well it is. But the ACTUAL problem... the problem that's caused by the OTHER problem, if you know what I mean... is that I can't install all those little codec things that you need to install to watch DVDs. You know, the things that automatically download themselves when you have the internet. Whatever they're called. Don't know. I'm going on a long boring train journey across the country tomor in a few hours, and I would very much like to watch DVDs. Except I can't. Because it won't let me. I can hear the sound but I can't see anything. This is how blind people must feel. What stuff do I need to watch movies on my laptop? Where do you get this stuff when it doesn't automatically download itself? Train leaves in four hours or whatever. I don't know. I don't think I'm going to go if I can't get this stupid thing working. P.S. Shaun of the Dead is how the Resident Evil movie should have been. P.P.S. 'Whatnot' is an actual real word.

Pretty much, yeah. It wasn't the acting or the music or the writing I disliked, it was the story and the characters. I didn't sympathise with the female lead because she just seemed as though she liked feeling sorry for herself. Bill Murray's character struck me as being depressed and lonely, which he was probably meant to be... but I don't want to watch an entire movie about a depressed and lonely person. No, wait. TWO depressed and lonely people. And as for the story... although it was sweet, I found it totally unlikely. Not even just the whole idea of the movie star and the girl becoming friends in Japan and sharing a whole bunch of awesome moments together, but also the fact that they developed a non-sexual love for each other which, as far as I can tell, was what it was supposed to be. So yeah, it probably did appeal to some people. Just not me. Maybe if you don't know any people in real life that you can compare to the two main characters of the movie, it doesn't ruin it for you. But since I do, I just saw the both of them as being complete wankers. I did, however, love Shaun of the Dead. P.S. Erkki, I like pieces of it. Like the Japanese Gameshow Host, and the elevator scene, and the photo shoot scene. That was pretty much it. I saw the trailer for Garfield and it made me want to cry.

As for Connery losing respect for the movie himself... I remember cringing in embarrassment for Sarah Michelle Gellar whenever she tried to convince people that she thought Scooby Doo was awesome. If I lived in San Francisco and was a famous video game designer and was married to Simon Pegg and Ricky Gervais and spent every weekend when I wasn't working down in Double Fine at the cinema with my good friends, Tim Schafer from the office and Tim Canterbury from The Office, while basking in the comfort of knowing that Liberals were in office and George Bush was dead... I would still send letters back to my family in Ireland, whining about Northern Ireland still being part of the UK. Only e-mails instead of letters, and also my family would live in Canada by then. Oh, and also I don't care about Northern Ireland. But if I did, I mean. No way. It had some beautiful directing and a nice concept, but it was the most incredibly boring movie to watch ever. There were about three parts I liked enough to keep me watching it. Oh, and also, Bill Murray is awesome. Is anybody else dreading Garfield the Movie?

Seriously though. I used to be so easy to please when I was little. I loved Batman and Robin for Christ' Sake. Now, the only time my jaw drops in the cinema is when I'm asleep. Something else; I Hate Movies Critics Love. I felt stupid for going to see Frigid Jones Diary, but I went anyway because I was told it was good. I hate Chick Flicks in general, but this was something else. The Critics loved Lost in Translation, too. Let me tell you something about Critics. Critics are full of shit. And so is Lost in Translation.