Salka

What? Oh, no. I thought you meant, 'Why don't we go and ask your close friends how come you're only 13' and I went off to find Mom. But she's not here. She's at college. She's a scientist!

Let's ask her! I'll go find Mom now.

...What?

What about Mary Kate and Ashley?

Oh man! Oh BOY!!! I won something! This is the first time I've ever won a competition in my LIFE!!! If only... if only I didn't already own a copy of Singles, the Cyber Dating game!! Oh, and also, if only I was any good at it. I hereby donate my copy to Kingzjester.

I am 13.

Oh yay Tim Burton yay yay I love Tim Burton Yay! Actually, I find him to be slightly overrated but I do love Willy Wonka and Danny Elfman! Yay! Yay!

Yeah, but you guys always say that and it's not fair because it's not always me because sometimes it's other people but they still blame me so everybody thinks that I'm a topic-changer or a spammer or something even though I'm not even the one that does half the spamming because other people spam but then they blame me so I look like a spammer even though it's not me it's them doing the spamming and blaming me and that's not fair because then I look like a spammer even though it's them doing the spamming and then blaming it all on me and it's just not fair.

Leaving Cert Honours, thank you very much. And yes, I know Sohcahtoa, and yes I know what the hypotenuse is. What the hell do you take me for???

Oh! OH! I WANT A COPY! I WANT A COPY!!! Okay! Right, chat up line. Hmm. Oh, I got one! Alright, here goes! "Hi, my name is Rusalka, and I-- No, it's... I'm not Russian...I... but I could be, if you wanted me to... Uh, no... wait... sorry... I... sooo... have you... do you know who Tim Schafer is? No? Ahem. Alright. Uhh.... do you have an xbox? No? Oh, I see. Yeah, my grandfather get's that sometimes when his glands are up. I... oh, no! There's something in my eye. Hang on. Whoa, on no! Hold it! I dropped my glasses. I think I heard them break. My glasses! I can't see!! Hello? Hello?! I'm feeling around for my glasses and all I can feel is dust and... please, everybody... can you guys stop... stop walking? I need to find my--OW, my fingers! Hello? Can everybody just... everybody stop... because my glasses... Are you still there? Can you see my glasses?? I can't walk home unless I have my glasses. Hello????? I can't find my inhaler..."

No, you shut up, Britney Spears.

Yeah, sucks to be you. What a great day it is! The Republic of Ireland remains a free and independent country, not run by Tony Blair or George Bush or any of those other bastards! I feel to free, free to vote, free to speak my mind, free to be free. What a fantastic day it is, indeed! I think I'm going to go out and exercise my right to vote (and for it to be actually counted) right now. Even though there's nothing to vote on! That's how free I am! I can do that, because I am free.

Man, just like Republicans, Christians, and God, when something goes wrong you turn around and blame somebody else. You guys are full of shit. I'm leaving.

Question. Does this make people feel dumb? When the Republicans openly admit their twisted campaign strategy and dishonest tactics? Does it make the people that voted for Bush feel really, really dumb? Or don't they care? In other news: Chris just became lame.

Deadworm, of ALL people... I mean, uh... yeah. Yeah, right. Okay. Whoops! For some reason, I actually had a quote from Bush's campaign director in clipboard, instead of THIS: I got as far as Tan 60 = x/8. I got as far as the first line! My problem is, where the heck did 13.856 come from?!?

I... because, you know... I... because, Bush... I mean, I bet you wouldn't even touch Bush with a barge pole or... or any other type of pole, either, I suppose... Uh... I mean to say, Dick Cheney for instance... Good old Dick would probably be more your kind of... I mean, not his.... per se... uh... I realize that he's with Bush... that's because they're pro-bush, the pair of them... ...Man, uh...

Sooo Chris... I'd say you're about as anti-Bush as they get, huh? You're probably so far over the other side that you've forgotten what Bush even looks like.

You should try San Francisco then. They're all anti-Bush over there...

This guys Story Engine is where the NPCs come and talk to you when you go off course and give you hints as to where to go or where you're currently headed. Depending on what you do in the small mini-game he made, the NPCs will be talking about it if you listen in on their conversations. And other stuff. It's pretty cool, but too much effort to use at the moment...

So many implications, so many innuendos. Man, you are gross.

A guy I know is in the last year of his degree in Trinity, and has developed a Story Engine kind of like that. It's still in early stages, and I nearly cried while trying to play the test game, but it's a really awesome concept. And it made me sort of enjoy controlling both the camera angle and the character.

I have never liked that kind of game, where you are just in a world and you can do whatever you want. I've always felt them to be too vague. That said, I have never been a big fan of Zelda for a similar reason. While I appreciate that Ocarina of Time was an awesome game in many respects, one of the factors that many people loved; the freedom to roam around this real time world... didn't appeal to me. It felt too loose. It was too easy to wander around aimlessly without knowing what you were doing. I didn't know where I was supposed to be going (although I had a fantastic time exploring around trying to find out). If I'm playing a game, I want to know exactly what I'm supposed to be doing and where I'm supposed to be going. Okay, it wasn't so much the freedom to roam as it was the freedom to roam and a lack of definite direction. Did that even make sense? So a game like the one you're suggesting would probably drive me insane. I mean, there would be - how COULD there be - any direction in it? It would, at least at SOME point, have to become pretty aimless. And wandering around freely with nothing to do... would make me... I would have to... KILL myself. Or not. I'm probably wrong. P.S. Zelda Rocks!!!

And also, you can't. What the hell do you take this for? A Democracy?

Every winter, when the heavy rains start, the mice flood into houses like mothers flocking to a grave. Even as I speak, they're gliding along the shadows where the wall meets the floor. I don't think they can see me, because they don't seem to be very afraid. Or maybe they've figured out I'm too lazy to get up and throw something at them, or buy mousetraps, or reset the mousetraps I already have. Every few weeks, Mom will start to freak out and will stuff poison into all of the crevices in the house, and then there'll be a weird smell that lingers around the hallways, like burning electrical sockets, only it's not. You try not to breath around these smells, because you feel like you're inhaling mouse brains. And when the smell is really bad, you can taste it. You can taste the rotting mouse brain on the back of your tongue, like a coating of hot, sour, pungent rotten milk. And you try to scrape off the coating of mouse brains by scraping your tongue along your front teeth, and you realize how much crap your tongue has on it on a day to day basis, and you wonder if maybe that's what you're tasting instead. So, yeah. I share that pain. Also, that's a nice picture of Tim on the third page.

Yeah, those guys were bastards when it came to moderating forums.