Salka

When you look at that picture, think of this; those two have had sex (probably).

IDLE THUMBS BUSINESS CARDS!!! And Monkey Island Beermats. But the Idle Thumbs Business Cards are AWESOME!!! Especially the little ¬ ¬ in the corner. Where did you gays get them?

... No, I don't get it.

Whoa, Jesus Christ, she's lost a lot of weight since she started dating him. Or is it my imagination???

What are 'special interests'? We don't have that over here. Other than that... Arnie has never struck me as the brightest spark. I think he's too worried about seeming hip and cool all the time, which causes him to use phrases like 'I kick their butts' or 'I'll be back'. The most important American leaders seem to be kinda dumb at the moment, especially in the cabinet, where they appear to be actively working on getting rid of the semi-intelligent ones. Or, one.

Sometimes I wonder what it's like to work for Romero. I kind of imagine him to be a David Brent type character.

I got a quote from the SunTravel, just to give me an idea of what it'll cost, and they quote E1500, including tax, accomodation and the return flight, for two weeks. I think they may have misquoted, because it seems to be a pretty sweet hotel just off Union Square, too. I don't know where Union Square is, but it sounds like a center point, somewhat. I'm probably right.

I've a question. On 'The Office' DVD extras, Stephen Merchant keeps pronouncing 'Gervais' as 'Gervaze'. I thought the 'S' at the end was silent. Is Stephen doing it merely to be irritating?! Or am I over complicating things???

Top Gear was replaced by some retarded Irish show over here. Gearz or something. Twilo might know.

My boss has decreed that I shall be working over Christmas. Every day, that is, except Christmas Day itself. Since my Family shall be in Dublin, and there is no Public Transport and I can't drive, this effectively means I will be spending Christmas Day alone, in an empty house. Not only that, I will be working Christmas Eve, and all the days after Christmas up through to New Years Eve and New Years Day, which I will be working. I told my Manager that I've gone to Dublin every year to see my family. Man, I even said that my Grandmother might not even last another Christmas, and that's not even a lie. I've shown him the timetables of buses and trains to prove I couldn't possibly get there and back, to which he suggested I don't try, because otherwise I'll miss work. I suggested that I might accidentally break my legs and be unable to work on Stephens Day, which would at least give me a day in Dublin, but he said, in a rare moment of wit, "You'd better make sure they're really broken then, or I'll break them for you." The only person that offered to work Stephens Day for me instead is actually working that day anyway. Man, and he had my hopes up for like, a whole five minutes. Speaking of that guy, I thought that at least, since I was working on New Years Eve, I'd be able to wear Mistletoe and follow him around creepily, like a stalker, until about MIDNIGHT. Then, somebody told me I was getting confused and mixing up Christmas Eve and New Years Eve. Not a problem, I thought, I'll just wear the Mistletoe Hat on Christmas Eve, and come midnight, missing the last Christmas with my Grandmother I will ever have will be worth it! And then I realized, duh! The store closes at 9pm. I went into work after school and, after attempting to reason with my boss using logic, illogic and guilt-tripping, I pretended to cry. Since I haven't cried in about ten years, except for the time I cartwheeled in the lounge and hit my middle toe on the wall (and they were tears of excrutiating agony), it was quite difficult, and ended up being not very convincing. Then I said, "Don't make me choose between my Family and my Job!" and he said, "I'll do it for you if you don't shut up right about, like.... NOW." Finally, I worked up the courage to ask James to swap hours with me, as he's the only person left that wasn't working Stephens Day. James has asked me out on more occasions than I care to keep track of, and each time I've refused nicely and been embarrassed for us both. Because he has no shame to call his own. But now I had been reduced to... and I quote my Boss here, who knew full well the extent of my humiliation... "grovelling at James' feet". And when I asked, I could feel his stupid damn eyes drilling into the top of my head like a woodpecker as I concentrated on my feet. "I don't know. I might have plans, with my GIRLFRIEND, for that day," he said pointedly. "You know, I wouldn't want to put work before my family and friends. And my GIRLFRIEND. If you know where I'm coming from here, my GIRLFRIEND--" "Yeah, I get it." I said sourly, and turned to walk away. "BUTIFYOUgivemeyour number, I'll call you tonight and let you know when I find out," he blurted. Of course, he never called. I know he doesn't even really have a girlfriend. And even if he does, I still know he's not going to swap hours. So that's my Christmas. Alone in an empty house on the days I'm not working, selling PCs to people that were too scabby to buy them before Christmas, and getting told off for not selling the Insurance Plan with laptops. And all the while, wearing a Mistletoe Hat. And it doesn't even SNOW on Christmas in Ireland. It just rains. It rains, and it rains, and it rains. Where are you guys going to be spending Christmas?

For the same reason as I didn't include the bit in the first conversation where I actually encouraged that particular direction that was being taken. I like to make other people look dumb, while making myself look clever and witty. Never works, but I think I might be getting a little better at it.

Shattered Sponge says: I wish Tim Schafer would rape *me* Yufster, with a hint of bitterness, says: I'm going to quote this Shattered Sponge says: But don't tell him so; if he knows I want it, it's plain old boring consensual sex! shbazjinkens: You couldn't think of Mario? shbazjinkens: and you associated the Italians? YufsterChan: I kept thinking of Chris YufsterChan: Which made me think of my brother YufsterChan: Which made me think of Word Rescue shbazjinkens: I see YufsterChan: HAHAHAHAHA, MAN, THAT WORKED ON SO MANY FUCKING LEVELS YufsterChan: Dee was all, "Who has the Laptop Keys? Dave, do you?" YufsterChan: And I'm all, "DAVE WOULDN'T HAVE THEM!" YufsterChan: And he's all, "Pfft, whatcha mean, I wouldn't have them?" YufsterChan: Cause he hadn't sold any laptops, so, you know shbazjinkens: HAHAHAHA YufsterChan: What? shbazjinkens: You're so great shbazjinkens: You're never going to get any like that, but still, it's great

Actually, the only part I DIDN'T say was "Shit fuckering shit cock". I did have some other nonsensical string of curse words, I just dubbed it over with a more popular, thumb-friendly phrase for the sake of the story. I'm back working Christmas Eve, by popular demand. Man. I wish somebody would make up their fucking mind.

Which part?

Ooo, on a different note altogether, I finally get remixors avatar. On yet another note, my little sister just told me that the toothpaste I just brushed my teeth with had fallen down the toilet, and that she'd frigged it out with a friggin' rod, a pink friggin' rod. To quote: "Tatiana dropped it down the toilet, but don't worry, I got it out with a fris, a frish, a frishkin... I frished it out with a friggin' rod. My pink friggin' rod. Then I cleaned the shit off it with paper and put it back. So it's clean now." - Camille, 5

Man, have you been on the G-Force? It's terrifying. And not only because it's the nature of the ride, but also because you're never quite sure whether the ride is just going to FALL APART and catapult you halfway across Waterford. I drove through Dungarvan yesterday. It's not far. If you come down to PC World between 12-6pm tomorrow I'll be there. Or, alternatively, visit me over Christmas. Whatever.

Today, at work, I was admiring the Apple Ipods on their fantastic wall display with all the sparkly blue tinsel, and listening to Tasmin Archer - Sleeping Satellite with the earphones, to block out the sound of a thousand Christmas Shoppers in the background, and feeling sorry for myself, when Dave quietly walked up beside me. Or maybe he wasn't being quiet, I don't know, because I had the earphones jammed halfway into my head. "Blah blah blah," he said. "WHAT!?" I yelled. Removing one earphone from my brain, he repeated himself, "What are you listening to?" "TASMI-- Tasmin Archer." He held the earphone to his ear. What seemed like 120 seconds passed, but it seemed like two minutes. The song ended. "By the way, if you want, I'll work Stephens Day for you," he said. "I thought you were already working Stephens Day?" "Patrick changed the Roster. I have Stephens Day off now, and I'm not doing anything, so I'll work it for you if you like." "Seriously? Wow, thanks so much! You've pretty much saved my Christmas." I unwound the earphones from his neck and beamed up at him. "I guess I-- PATRICK FUCKING WHAT?! THAT LITTLE SHIT FUCKERING SHIT COCK. FUCK HIM, FUCK HIM UP THE ARSE. FUCKING OW," I added, as I drove my fist into a shelf accidentally. "I am SHITTING MY PANTS with rage." "Jesus Christ." Dave said. "I will fucking PISS in his CORNFLAKES," I continued emphatically. "I will rape his fucking DAUGHTERS with a DOG TOY. They are THREE and FIVE YEARS OLD." "Jesus fucking Christ," Dave repeated. Turning around and tripping up over the earphones, I regained my balance, walked into a printer display, fell over, stood up, walked into a customer, swerved into the Camera Desk, fell over, got up and marched into the office. Taking a deep breath of anger, I raised my fist and hammered on the door furiously. "Since when have you knocked?" Patrick asked cheerfully. "Um... did you give Dave St Stephens Day off?" I asked nervously. "Yeah, he wanted to go up and see his family." Patrick replied. "So did I." I said bitterly. "So I gave you Christmas Eve off." Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah semi-happy ending blah blah blah. I don't know. Christmas Eve off doesn't really help me because I'm working the day before, so I'll still get to Dublin the same time as if I was working that day. But Dave is working Stephens Day. Blah blah blah. By the way, I live near a place called Limerick. A lot of people die there. It's shit. MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY!!!

Now I'm a Jew? What the fuck did I ever do to you, man?

Kevin: So how do you like being a working stiff?YufsterChan: Um YufsterChan: Well YufsterChan: I get to work over Christmas Kevin: Always fun. Kevin: But you prolly get overtime, right? YufsterChan: ....Overtime? Kevin: Yeah. YufsterChan: You mean like... ? I don't get it. What do you mean? Kevin: Usually when you work during a holiday, you get extra money. Kevin: Like 1.5 times your regular pay. Kevin: Like, when I worked on Sundays, I got a dollar an hour extra. YufsterChan: We don't get paid on Christmas YufsterChan: At all Kevin: Um... They kind of have to. YufsterChan: We work it out of the goodness of our hearts YufsterChan: People don't get paid during Christmas in Ireland Kevin: That's stupid. Kevin: You work, you get paid. It's a very simple concept. YufsterChan: Not in Ireland Kevin: So, you don't even get your regular salary? YufsterChan: Man, if I got paid overtime during christmas... I'd buy... like.... YufsterChan: ...a new pair of shoes or something YufsterChan: No, not for the three days around christmas YufsterChan: we don't get paid YufsterChan: But we DO get paid for St Patricks Day! Kevin: Yeah, but why would you work to not get paid? YufsterChan: because otherwise we get fired Kevin: Wow. Kevin: In America, that's all kinds of illegal. Kevin: Not only do we have to get paid whenever we work, we have to get paid extra for working holidays. Kevin: Christmas eve and Christmas are like, triple overtime. Kevin: Regular holidays that most people have off are double. YufsterChan: `Man YufsterChan: That sounds like UTOPIA Kevin: That sounds like... Fair. Kevin: Ireland sounds like... Voluntary slavery YufsterChan: It's not. It's great. YufsterChan: We have more pairs of shoes per person than any other 3rd world country Kevin: And yet, you need shoes. YufsterChan: Not that badly, there's only a few holes in them YufsterChan: But like, pretty soon Kevin: See, Americans replace their shoes once a hole is about to occur. Not after. YufsterChan: Yeah but there wouldn't be so many holes if I didn't have to walk 7 miles to work or school every day YufsterChan: Americans don't have to do that much WALKing Kevin: You should get a bike. YufsterChan: I can't AFFORD a bike YufsterChan: If I could afford a bike, do you think I'd be wearing these shoes? Kevin: Can't be that expensive... A used one? YufsterChan: Man, how much do you think I get paid??? YufsterChan: It wouldn't even be so bad if I didn't have to contribute so much to my Mom every week to buy potatoes Kevin: I dunno... But in America you can find a used bike for about fifteen Euro or so. YufsterChan: I get paid 15 Euro in A MONTH Kevin: Christ, almighty! How much do you get paid total a month? YufsterChan: 20 Euro YufsterChan: Why? Kevin: That's not very much. YufsterChan: That's over 100 Euro a year, that's awesome YufsterChan: Four years and I'll be able to fly to San Francisco! Kevin: I get paid about... Say... 300 Euro a month? And that's not even considered good over here. YufsterChan: Another four years, and I'll be able to fly back! YufsterChan: WHOA YufsterChan: SERIOUSLY!? Kevin: Yeah. YufsterChan: Hahaha man, you must think I am gullible. Kevin: A euro is worth about one and a half american dollars. YufsterChan: Jeez, what do you do with all that money? Kevin: How do you live? YufsterChan: Man, Kevin. I get paid 700 Euro a month and I'm part-time after school. You're such a fucking sucker.

Shut up. You're only saying that because you're a GAY JEW.

...OR DO YOU!?

Get this: some people even live there.

Flashback is the most annoying game ever!!! To quote Chris; "ArHGhghghGh!!!" I hate it!!! Ahhh!!! I hate it!!!

On second thoughts, I think I have to wash my hair in May.

Legend has it they even motion captured the screws on the grate just before Conrad gets captured.