Salka

Oh man! I just found a monster that burps when you hit it!!! Oh my god and wheelchair monsters!!! I'm not talking about disabled zombies or whatever. I'm talking about wheelchairs that fly down the corridors and hit you!!! Wheelchairs with a mind of their- Oh, these burping monsters are hilarious!!! Boy, I know what this game is missing. It's missing other people. One of the scariest things we deal with on a day to day basis is other people. Are... are other people? No, yeah, IS other people. These games all have the same formula; be scared for yourself, you're alone. They never try to make you scared for other characters, or maybe make the other characters the things you are afraid o- JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, A BIG HEAD WITH EYES. As I was saying, I'm not scared about being alone in this building full of flying wheelchairs and burping monsters. I'm sort of bored.

Yeah, that's my biggest issue. It was scary the first couple of times a monster leapt through a window. It was scary the first time I ran around a blood-covered building full of monsters. It was even kinda scary the second time. As for the level of detail of monsters... I don't think worse graphics made it scarier. Uglier, yeah. Chris is right about monsters looking dumb. I guess developers are striving to be original and creative, and instead of working on innovative ways to scare us and mess with our minds, they're working on making monsters new and different looking. Which sucks because, whether it's a zombie or a clown jumping through the window, it's still not going to impress me. That said, I'm absolutely petrified of clowns.

What he said.

No way. Alone in the Dark was one of the first games I played, if not the very first, that absolutely petrified me in many places. One of the very first things that scared me was when the monster jumped through the window at the start, although you could push the cupboard in the way to stop it from happening. But the monster would still try to bash through anyway. It was scary because it hadn't been done before, and I wasn't used to things trying to leap through windows at me. Something else tried to come up through the hatch in the floor. It was scary. The first Silent Hill was scary too. All that alternate dimension shtuff... I used to have nightmares where everybody would just disappear, and I'd be alone. Sounds dumb, maybe, but most people are terrified of being alone. Silent Hill not only messed with your fear of being alone and lost (I didn't like being separated from other characters in the game, in case I ended up in the alternate dimension), but it also had that cool radio thing. You knew something was coming, you could hear it on the radio... but what? And you could hear it getting closer, but couldn't see it because of the fog. Awesome. I don't think we're getting harder to scare. I think they're running out of ways to scare us.

The Americans didn't invent theft, and they didn't invent LEGO either.

I didn't start anything!!

That's the most convincing fake language ever.

Is that... was that... a different...? That's crazy. I understood that. Man, Silent Hill 4 is SHIT.

My boss IS David Brent. I was messing with the camcorders at work before, because at that point I didn't know how to use them (digital camcorders are tricky little buggers), and I started recording him for a joke. I told him he looked like David Brent, and he said, "Yeah, well, yeah, that's... that's funny though, isn't it? I mean, he makes people laugh, and that's basically what I do. You know, I come in to work and it's maybe half past eight, and that's my job, you know? It's my job to make you guys think, 'yeah, this IS my job, I LOOK FORWARD to today, PATRICK is great, he's there if I need him, great!', you know? So... and I think that David Brent is unfairly portrayed... they distort his personality for the sake of entertainment, really, don't they? You know? That's, that's TV for you... so..." "It's not a real documentary, Patrick. It's a TV show." "It... what? It... oh. Yeah, yeah. Well, obviously. Didn't you... didn't you know that? I mean, what I mean is, the character is... oh hey, look, got to get back to the office, I... so...back to work, then..." Then, when I played it back, I saw that he kept looking at the camcorder and doing this teeth-baring, nervous smile, and swallowing. Still not sure if it was a joke or not.

Tim's prophet? More like... Tim's.... LOSS. Or something. It sounded clever when I was thinking it, but it looks kinda dumb typed out. Whatever. Bacon, the fourth game is set in a make-believe world, features an intriguing cast of interesting and diverse characters, a unique visual design and an original and engaging plot, and the release date is February 2011. Futuuurrrristic!

They were like ran out of the house.

I am getting hotter because my blood pressure is rising due to the fact I'm getting angrier, and I'm getting angrier because of slow people, Christmas Rosters, people that already have girlfriends, exams, slimeballs, can't find my phone, and I dropped Spaced 2 in a puddle the second I walked out of the shop with it, and now the packaging is all wet and crinkled. It wasn't even just like an ordinary 'dropping something in a puddle'. I had waited two weeks for Spaced 2. I came out of the shop, and I swear, the sky just opened. I went to put the DVD in my waterproofish bag, and it slipped, so I went to catch it, batted it into the air, dropped my bag, went to catch it again, swiped, and somehow accidentally hurled it across the street into a puddle. People actually stopped walking to stare at me. Parents quietly led their children around me, skillfully keeping their distance without actually looking at me. You know when you do that? When you go to catch something and end up hitting it across the room or something?

It makes my teeth hurt when people are this bad at SAYING THINGS.

Motherfucking FUCKERS!!!

It's a David Brent quote. He says it when he's being an unfunny bastard. I'm actually not chilled out.

He was only signed because people laughed at him. He was only kept for as long as the joke stayed funny.

I'm basically a chilled out entertainer.

Blah blah blah I love bunnies blah!!! !!! Once, when I was doing a presentation at a Junior School for a bunch of 12 year olds, their Teacher asked me to read out this new competition the school was holding. "Right," I took the sheet, "For the tidiest classroom competition, the winning classroom will all receive a day out to Tramore, and a funky set of Clit Kits." There was a silence. I noticed the Teacher was giving me a very strange look. Pushing an imaginary set of glasses up my nose with my index finger, I squinted closely at the page. "Oh, sorry." I said, "'Clikits'." Apparently, Clikits is like Lego for girls, and people that say 'Legos'.

Uh, sorry. I meant 'guys'.

You guys are assholes! Mr Romero? And in need of a green card!!! Okay, in defence of the whole John/Rowena thing, maybe they're in love. I doubt it somehow, but maybe they are. I mean, look at her. She's wearing glasses. She's obviously smart. She realizes that by marrying John, she's getting lots of money and a house in San Diego. While he's trying to convince people that diakatana was a good game, she can be spending his money and basking in sunshine. All she has to do it smile in some photos, and occasionally have sex with him. So I ask you, WHO IS USING WHO? Is she taking advantage of his simple male desire for sex with young women? Probably yes.

It was so Ryam had to try and translate it and waste his time trying to figure out what it meant. I hate you. And Ryam.

Yeah, that's kind of why I posted it. Because it doesn't make any... blah. Whatever. Get with it, will you?

Like... teachers? Well, I guess Arnold isn't in charge of us, so we don't know whether he makes good or bad leadership decisions. But one thing I do know; he makes himself look like a complete moron to this side of the planet. EDIT: Still don't quite get what Special Interests is then...

Man, way to take it a STEP TOO FAR, MetalMickey. It WAS just friendly banter, but now you've gone and turned it into a bitching session like the Girls in the Cloakroom at Lunchtime. They say hurtful things about people, too. Things like, "blah blah blah she's a freak blah blah blah". Not that I care, but if I did, it would make me hide in the toilet cubicles and cry all day as I tried to run away from the cruel, unrelentingly evil tongues of my peers. Not that that even happens. Anyway, Mr John Romero, if you ever read this; I do not think you are ugly. I think you're hot. By the way, I'm a couple of weeks younger than Ralena or Ralenka or whatever, so if and when things don't work out for you two... as soon as I'm finished high school, I'd love to meet you! You sound like a guy with a lot to give me.

Since this thread is retarded, let me add my own retarded phone conversation to it! ME: 1500 euro per person. I think the receptionist... woman... guy person... can't remember... why do you live in Galway? SARAH: Fuckass. ME: Ex-excuse me? Did you just call me a-- SARAH: Fuckass, yeah. ME: .... You sound real nice on the phone. {Awkward Silence} ME: I meant- SARAH: What about Santa Cruz? ME: Oh, oh, that's hilarious. Oh, I'm laughing milk through my nose. Soya milk.