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Everything posted by Salka

  1. Life

    Dudeeee. Whenever I feel down, and I think it was mentioned above in this thread already... exercise helps. Even though I'm not overweight, I feel bad about myself when I am down, inside and out. Exercise makes you feel good inside and out - you get a sweet rush of feel-goodness, and you feel better about yourself on the outside and more confident socially. Also, doing stuff like climbing can be great because in addition to the exercise, you feel like you're learning a skill So yeah, if you feel as down as you did in January 2011 ever again, try distracting yourself with exercise. Walking in the countryside is amazing, you'll see so many tiny critters and pieces of nature that will blow your mind and remind you that life is incredible. Get a glass-lined flask so that you can take coffee and it won't taste like flask! Also I agree with Rodi. You should totally post in this thread when you're down. This thread warms my heart! And it will warm yours too. Probably.
  2. Narcissist PUAs

    I know, he wrote all his emails like poems, it was very odd. Probably a mixture of narcissism and idiocy. There was another particularly irritating one he wrong in my inbox too, I think it was second to last before I sent him the angry one. Things to take note of: 1. My mum didn't drink at all back then, he is lying. Also she doesn't smoke! 2. He hates Christmas 3. He tried to kill my rabbit once when he was angry, but his kick missed 4. My mum does not care about money, if she did she wouldn't have been with my dad for a start... 5. ...However, my dad is obsessed with associating himself with wealthy folk... 6. My dad hates churches and despises religious people. He would not help out at a local church. 7. He hated being referred to as 'dad'. So bearing those points in mind... It's like he tries to pander to the image he thinks people want to have of him, but is it just me, or is it incredibly transparent? And again with the poetry... Re mental health stuff: I did lots of research and inquiries about stuff related to mental health after all this, don't worry. I spoke to a tutor at Uni one time who said he'd had a similar upbringing and was fine until his 30s, when he just had a total mental breakdown for a bit (his upbringing also involved a lot of religious nonsense too though). But I've prepared myself pretty well and I'm genuinely not scarred from it, and I have a lot of good friendships and healthy relationships, so all seems to be well. I'd like to get a blog together that details some of the aspects of my upbringing, in a way that is hopefully interesting and people could take something from it if they were also survivors, or trying to understand a situation they are in, etc. It would be ideal if it was also something that people could find by searching my name or my dad's name (or the false name that he used the entire time he knew my mum), as it would take away his ability to hide and lie about his past. Everyone googles everyone else, let's face it... I don't know about the legality of this, I mean obviously I wouldn't say anything that wasn't true, and there are always witnesses to the things that happened to us, but where would I stand if he wanted it shut down and claimed defamation of character? I imagine if you're a narcissist who lives your life by taking advantage of people who don't know what kind of person you are, having it out there on the internet for any potential victim to find would be a bit devastating... I mean, that's assuming his current girlfriend even knows his real name.
  3. Narcissist PUAs

    I don't think you did. Off-colour jokes are fine anyway, everyone makes jokes about men or women or foreigners or guitarists or whatever else, and most of the time it's all just fun. It's only when people don't know the difference between jokes and reality, which overall isn't very often these days, I find... unless they're mentalists. So, I was going through old emails and I found the last communication I ever had with my dad! I'm genuinely a little proud of it. So, you'll need some background here: my dad was still living at home but separated from my mum, although he was still being violent towards her. I was living in Brighton. I had gotten back into contact with my dad in recent times only because his son from a former relationship (my half brother) had got into contact with me. Then my aunt died, Pauline. My dad had never made any secret of hating her. When I was in Ireland for the funeral with Spaff, my dad called my mum. He goaded her about the death of her sister, made a cruel joke about the size of her coffin (she was a larger lady) and randomly decided to say that he'd found out where Spaff's family live and was going to beat Spaff up. Basically, he just went on a massive hate-filled lunatic rant. My mum hung up and started crying. I was furious. I was going to leave it be - at the time I felt there wasn't much I could do because there was always the threat of my dad trying to actually take revenge that he said he would, for instance he would always threaten my mum that he knew where her parents lived and he'd burn their house to the ground if she ever tried to have him arrested. So I thought I'd just leave it be for a while. But then when I got back to the UK, I received this email from my Dad: (Darragh is Pauline's son, Sarah is her daughter, Liam was her husband). Well I pretty much flipped out because at the time I knew he was tormenting my mum, and you know, after that phone call where he taunted my mum over the death of her sister, and threatened to beat up Spaff/his family for absolutely no reason at all... well, this is the reply I sent. (Finn is my brother who at the time, was the only person who had any time for my dad). He never replied. A week later, after a quarter of a century of tormenting, beating and bullying my Mum, he moved out of the house suddenly, and never told her why, and never went back. I feel like it was an epic victory and I'm glad I saved the word "cunt" till the end. Also: EPIC DRAMZ.
  4. Londonweek

    Sorry I didn't make it I have so much on at the moment with uni and work and band stuff and rararhgarghhh. I was genuinely sad all day at missing it.
  5. Narcissist PUAs

    Interesting article about narcissist males and why so much hatred is directed at women.
  6. Narcissist PUAs

    That rant just makes me picture Cartman.
  7. Narcissist PUAs

    You know, it makes me sad because it's either narcissists doing this, or vulnerable and more socially awkward guys who just want to get women and are promised that this will work for them. I think it's important to shed light on this stuff, and to openly ridicule it (because it IS ridiculous), and that way hopefully it will remain primarily a playground for narcissists and not katamari some socially awkward guys along with it. Also, I know this sort of guy well, because my Dad was one. There are only a few ways to get to them because they are so incredibly deluded. Nobody can talk sense into them, no life experience can shock them back to reality. Narcissists, like my Dad, can often become parodies of themselves; they become so convinced that everyone believes them, that their world of lies and hyperbole becomes an hilarious spectacle. That's why I'm having so much fun reading through the posts of these guys; even the worst ones are hilariously tragic. They just have no idea what they look like to normal people. They think they're so cool, but they're just a total shambles. They rant about how all women are stupid in one thread, and then ask how to shave properly in another. It's genius.
  8. Narcissist PUAs Amazing.
  9. Narcissist PUAs

    Thing is with these narcissist types, is that I think whatever the general public believes, whatever the popular opinion on equal rights and respect for all, they will still hate women regardless, because women are one thing that can so easily damage their fragile ego with a simple rejection, one that is upheld by the law - they can't just rape them to take what they want, which is I suspect why so many of them seem to wildly deny that rape actually exists. It's basically a mental disorder that incorporates misogyny as one of its most key features... They also all seem to be under the impression that other men are either like them, or wish that they were (something my dad thought too... for instance, everyone hits their wife, people only pretend to be normal on the outside. He truly believed it and used it to justify his own behaviour, as do these PUAs I guess, and as do rapists). So although there is still a lot of misogyny in the world, these little communities are so utterly disconnected from reality that it falls within the realms of insanity more than misogyny, for me. A lot of normal guys will make the odd sexist remark or make presumptions based on gender, as will women with men, but normal guys do not think or do the things that these narcissists do.
  10. Narcissist PUAs

    It wasn't as horrific as you might be thinking, maybe. My mum was sexually assaulted in front of us, but we weren't. Most of the degradation for us came from incidents like... So, a neighbouring farmer was doing him a favour and cutting back the hedges in the garden, but someone usually has to walk in front of the cutting machine and make sure there are no big rocks or bits of anything in the grass that might damage the blades on the machine. So, my dad made me (I think I was about 12) and my mum dress in short shorts and a vest, and walk in front of the machine as the farmer was driving it, and told us that that farmer was going to be getting off on watching us. I think the moral of the lesson was that if we behaved like whores we would get treated like whores, but I can't actually remember what it was that had set him off in the first place - usually it was something like that he'd had a bad dream in which we'd done something wrong and annoyed him, because very few times did we ever purposely set a foot wrong. That wasn't one of the worst incidents but it gives you a general idea of what I mean, I guess. Lots of references to us being sluts and whores, pretty much like all these narcissist PUAs and how they view women. I guess that's why he needed to move out to somewhere where the women are generally more submissive; even when this was happening and I was 12 and cut off from society, I still knew it was wrong and the workings of a madman, so it did little to change my view of him as being a mentalist that I'd eventually escape, rather than securing a place in my head for him being some kind of master or godly figure to be feared and respected, which I think is what he was aiming for, and again, fits so well with how these PUA guys view themselves. I'm not a total fuck-up, by the way, I managed to escape pretty much mentally unscathed from such a messed-up upbringing, except that I was a bit of an odd, socially insecure teenager. But it has given me an interesting insight into a life that people rarely get to experience (thankfully). As a child I never attempted to seek help because my dad came across as a smooth talker and I was afraid nobody would believe what he was really like. But here, on the internet, there are entire fucking NESTS of guys exactly like him, little lairs where they go to slap each other on the back and congratulate and encourage each other. It's amazing to see, because they are not hiding away their true personalities, they're just slapping them right out there on the table for everyone to see. You could tell me any one of those guys is my dad and I would believe it. It's totally mental. But amazing. Look at them all; they're like feral dickheads or something.
  11. I don't know what to write here now because the thread title has it all. I guess I might add that I want to pick your brains. Also do any of you live where the Northern Lights make a regular appearance, that would work for me too - it doesn't have to be Iceland I guess.
  12. Movie/TV recommendations

    Has anyone seen Chronicle? The trailers look really gash, one of the ones they're showing on TV has an irrelevant Jesse J song played over it. So I googled it just because I wanted to know why it was so terrible, but there seem to be lots of good reviews of it. I don't usually look at film reviews so I don't know if it is normal for shit movies to have good reviews or something. I'm really curious. It looks really bad.
  13. Jeff Goldblum

    Amazing, thank you! This will be the icing on the cake that is my new apartment.
  14. Londonweek

    I'd love to go, but I'm still unsure if I can make it due to money woes. But I am a strong maybe.
  15. Jeff Goldblum

    Is there a high-res version of this? I genuinely want it printed on canvas.
  16. But I'm poor and I haven't bought a new PC in about 6 years, so I have no idea what to look for, or where. I basically want to use it for Photoshop and Painter, music editing, and maybe secretly playing some video games also, although I guess sadly that has to come secondary to the other two because of: poverty. How much of my student loan must I squander? Has anyone any advice? PS I don't want a mac. Plus I already have a sweet monitor so package deals will only make me sad. And if anyone has any advice on good, cheap mics for home recording of music, that would be epic sweet and I'd repay you with my gratitude, which will be immense.
  17. Anti-abortion protesters.

    Dude that's amazing... I'm actually going to do that. I was only just chatting about it on the way home and someone said they should have escorts... and they do. Fantastic!
  18. Guitars

    When I was little I used to collect robots, but then my brother was born and broke them all. Now I'm starting to think about guitars a bit too much; I can feel the obsession starting to take over, like when I was given my first Robot, or Pokémon, or stamp. I'm a poor student, I can't afford such an expensive hobby, but I think if I had a purple sparkle J Mascis Signature Jazzmaster I'd probably be happy and wouldn't need any more guitars ever again. I also really want to to start building my own effects pedals. Does anyone else have any experience of doing this? It seems like something that would be fun to experiment with. This post is poorly constructed and I'm a little bit sorry about that, I'll try harder next time if you sell me your Purple Sparkle Jazzmaster.
  19. Life

    Or any of you... I'm not fussy.
  20. Life

    Hey listen, I've already made fun of his pick-up attempt on a public forum, there's no need for me to start picking apart his appearance too. Also, I love soft cuddly programmers who play lots of video games and hate both playing and watching sports, so I would be a terrible judge of how hot a random guy is. And, I was sweating into my own eyes at the time. Wow it took me so long to write this reply because I kept wandering off to do things, now there are replies inbetween so it's all disjointed. Oh well.
  21. Life

    Yeah, tell me about it. We're both obviously sisters as well, we're very similar. I don't know why it makes it worse to ask two sisters out with the line "I'm not fussy," but somehow it does. Also, Olivia has this thing where she laughs hysterically when she's nervous, which made it even more dreadful.
  22. Life

    Today, my little sister and I went climbing at a local climbing wall. A total meathead approached as we were clambering our way around the bouldering wall. "I don't normally do this," he called up at us, "but would you like to go for a drink with me?" Because we had been climbing and therefore had our faces to the wall, I had to turn around to see him, while still clinging to the wall. It was, overall, very awkward and inconvenient. "Are you talking to me, or her?" I called back. "Either," he said, "I'm not fussy." I don't know how he could have come back and redeemed himself after such an horrible start, but that definitely wasn't it.
  23. Guitars

    I know, it's dreadful isn't it? I'm so poor. That's why I need the Purple Sparkle Jazzmaster, because once I have that I won't need anything else anymore ever. I think the reason I want so much stuff is because I've been a student for the past three years and so haven't been able to buy the things I've wanted, therefore accumulating a massive list of WANT.
  24. Hehe, as it happens I was using Audacity as my sound recorder, but as the mic wasn't picking anything up I decided to test it in windows Sound Recorder just in case it was a problem with Audacity. Which it wasn't! Yay. Yeah, the first time I opened a couple of folders it took a lot longer than following times, it seemed. Weird. It's still not the snappiest experience I've ever had, and it still doesn't come out of sleep mode properly most of the time. Bit frustrating. I pretty much know dick all about the finer details of various operating systems, certainly not enough to have the automatic repulsion of Windows that many people do, but it does seem just a tad shite. I use Windows for art and music stuff, which is lots of the time, but when I load into Ubuntu instead I have no problems with sleep mode or anything. Maybe I should just shut up and find Linux equivalents of all the software I use, and then always load into Ubuntu and just get the fuck on with it, and maybe then I'd swear less too.
  25. Hang on a second, am I just being a total idiot or does the sound recorder on Windows 7 not have a playback function?? What kind of total fuckwit designs a piece of recording software with no playback functionality??? I was trying to get my mic and in the process of trying to figure out what was wrong, I tried windows Sound Recorder just to be sure it wasn't a problem with the other program I was using. I had to save the recording and play it back in a different program?!?? And why do folders have loading bars?? It took ten seconds to open Control Panel, ten seconds of staring at a loading bar slowly filling across the top... What on earth is happening that it needs a fucking loading bar for when you open a folder? Am I doing something wrong???