Salka

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/3430481.stm He has a vocabulary of 950 words, which he can use in correct context... he also understands past, present and future tenses (although sometimes makes his own up, such as 'flied' instead of 'flew'). He also uses his existing vocabulary to attempt to create words or phrases for things he doesn't already know the word for... such as calling aromatherapy oils "pretty smell medicine". And he has a sense of humour. How totally awesome. Dan says this story has been around for two or three years, but I hadn't read it before... needless to say, what a brilliant bird.

Would you rather be a Cat or a Dog? and If you were a cat, would you rather belong to Me or Spaff? I'd rather be a cat since the only thing cats are expected to do is eat and sleep and get cuddles. Also I'd rather belong to Spaff since belonged to myself would indicate that I was a stray.

And that's what it's going to look like! But it hasn't been born yet so I won't get it until about May or June. This is a totally RETRO siamese cat. None of that next-gen bullshit, this is how the breed USED to look before people starting breeding them to look like monkeys. We're gonna have good times together, JPEG and I (I'm going to call him JPEG). He's got some fucking awesome Seal-Point technology going on, making his face and paws dark, and his coat a delicious light brown/creamy colour. And awesome blue eyes. Spaff has also pre-ordered a kitten, his will be a Burmese and is also due for release in May or June (although his may be subject to delays as they're still trying to get the mummy cat pregnant). Spaff's kitten will look like this: More screenshots:

Great! Because you couldn't already do that with your TWO LAPTOPS! EDIT: I see you already said that...

KITTEN NEWSWIRE!!!!!!!!11111111111 New gameplay footage: Extremely Cute: MEOW: MEOW MEOW MEOW!!: omfg MEOW: Fucking MEOW: Billion Meows: IT'S PLAYING FETCH OMFG http://youtube.com/watch?v=GlXMIGtDIoc Oh man I love the way the dog keeps pushing the cat in this video... literally, shoving it with a paw... http://youtube.com/watch?v=H61mNavusPk

they talk cat, you dumb fuck >: (

Mine has advanced AI and superior audio quality (siamese cats are extremely intelligent and like to talk a lot). Spaff's won't have such advanced AI or audio quality, but it will be a more pick-up-and-play type thing, accessible to everyone including your mum. Both will be priced at around £300 each, but that's a package that comes with all the papers and innoculations, plus pet insurance and other bits and pieces. Even at £300 though, you can still get a kitten and a Wii for less than a single PS3...

Is that true? I heard that somewhere but I have soapy hands so i can't google. Er and I'm lazy. I was thinking, like, what if he's actually secretly some insanely clever chap who is only doing this to get take-two some publicity so his share prices go up or something. is that how shares work? I don't know. jack thompson is kinda like Game Life. I got bored of both real quickly but often feel compelled to see how they're doing.

So either it's not true or he's stupid? Or both ¬¬

HAhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! Unexpected genius from Dan!

Hang on Dan. "Living Forever" would have to be thought about. Because if you lived forever, technically you could just keep aging and be at the point where you were unable to move, speak, see or hear... but you'd still have awareness. You'd also live past the point where other humans were gone and the world was uninhabitable, so I'm assuming you'd end up existing forever in immense pain, kinda like hell... ...IF however, "living forever" just refers to not growing old any more but still being MORTAL, yeah that'd be awesome. See my point?

It depends. If by "live forever" you mean until such a time as the world becomes uninhabitable and all humans die anyway... and I'd stay this age forever... and if everybody I knew and loved also got to live forever... then I might choose to live forever... choosing to die instantly would also be a very selfish thing to do... everyone I know would have to cope with the death of a friend/partner/sister/mother whatever... I don't know... it depends on the circumstances... Also I'd burn all my books sooner than wipe my hard drive

I like Elmeurte's third picture... paint your room like that...

About the same time as he got an awesome new job and started boning dating Ginger's sister. Which is quite recently.

THAT is the BEST THING I have EVER SEEN in my LIFE. Isn't it just wonderful? Don't you wish you could make love to it and stuff? I sure wish I could. How I Would Love That As My Christmas Present (not from Spaff though, I expect something more expensive from you). I would love Idle Thumbers 10% more if they got me that for Christmas Okay I'm kidding I don't really want that as a christmas present, I've already downloaded all those songs anyway. I'm kidding, I would never steal Tim Schafer's intarnets. ... ¬¬

I was fine after the party. Spaff introduced to me a guy at the end of the night. "Hi, this is Rusalka, my girlfriend," he said. The guy leaned over to slur "hi rosanna" into my ear, and then kissed my cheek. Then he kissed my other cheek. Then he lurched towards my face with his mouth open... in front of Spaff, even. I evaded the illicit kiss using my finely trained illicit kiss evading skills, and gently pushed him back into his chair. "Are you okay?" Another girl asked, putting a hand on his shoulder. "You are so nice," he slurred, and kissed her hand, kissing his way all the way up her arm until he reached her shoulder and passed out. It was amazing.

To Spaff: Just testing as to whether this is funny or not. Am I hilarious UPDATE: I do not understand the joke Shall I play a violin for myself...?

I got identified several times as being simply "Spaff's Girlfriend" I do appreciate that he's extremely handsome and popular... but nobody ever says, "Oh hi, I recognise you, you're Rusalka's Boyfriend!" ... it's a really one-sided thing... Maybe I need to become more charismatic... I should make myself more noticable.... be louder...smarter... more aggressive... take on the world.... I don't know about you guys but Tim Schafer likes me a lot more than he likes you guys... that makes me instantly more popular, surely... ...I am hardcore... these people should respect me more... I am a nice person... they need to respect me.... Elmuerte you fag, don't act all surprised that our christmas party wasn't on christmas day. What, you think just because we work in the games industry and are geeks, we have nothing better to do on christmas day than hang out with co-workers? What workplace has a Christmas Party on CHRISTMAS DAY? Oh except the Hotel Industry because they have no friends except their co-workers who aren't even friends anyway, they're shag buddies because they have no lives outside their miserable jobs and can't find a partner who works similar random shifts to them so they end up just having multiple shag buddies instead.

I have a pony That makes me cool in the eyes of other girls, who can't have ponies because they're too poor and stuff. It also makes me cool in the eyes of men - who I tell that I own a horse - because they think I'm from a rich family. Anyway, back on topic... Also what's this: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Flair-50100-Brain-Trainer/dp/B000ESKYB8/sr=8-1/qid=1165085925/ref=pd_ka_1/202-1353564-6509429?ie=UTF8&s=toys I was thinking about getting it for my Grandad for Christmas because he likes nothing but it's a relevant gift because he's old. Or something. I dunno.

Oooh I see... okay... good... Erm.. I haven't played this game but I've done a bit of reading since (to establish what the deal was with the massive erections) and it looks really cute Also E50 for a black gamecube = win

I don't know why, but all I can see in that image... and I'm really seriously not kidding... is a woman standing next to a man with a MASSIVE erection hidden in skin coloured pants. I'm really not lying... I can't actually tell what that picture is supposed to be (I take it that I'm not seeing it right). I think I can see what is supposed to be some thigh. What is that a picture of?

she's ugly wtf

this isn't relaly a game you play with your girlfriend so much, as a game you play with your best mate for three days in a row without sleeping so that you can get an S ranking on every level at the EXPENSE of your girlfriend... in fact, the time I played it with you, it all happened a bit like this: ME: What's fire? What're the buttons? Which one is me and which one is you? What's... what just... oh I died. SPAFF: .......uh you did really well. Give it to Nick now. ¬¬ Hmm anyway I really want a co-op game that my sisters can play... I was thinking about Crystal Chronicles or Four Swords on GameCube (They have my old GameCube at home)... but then they'd need gameboys which they don't have, so it'd be really expensive. They're all getting DSs for Christmas though, so I'm hoping there'll be some good co-op games on that... maybe they wouldn't even mind Children of Mana since they have no concept of a BETTER CO-OP GAME ;( I think they'd really have fun with Four Swords Have you considering World of Warcraft? It can be a really fun game to play together... ...OMG I have just figured out what to get my sisters and brothers for Christmas!

The thing I find unforiveable about CoM though, is that it's such a massively unfun localisation issue, and it's in the FRONT END. It's not hidden away inside the depths of the game somewhere, behind several different dialogue options from a random NPC somewhere in the middle of a side-quest. It's right there, blatantly, in the front end, where everyone can see it. And it sucks.

I was calling the people who runthe company assholes... sorrry for my lazy and bad and hrad to understand writing...nd they employ other assholes to keep running the company... Not the localisation people. Although from my experience, for some reason, companies employ terrible, terrible testers. Is there such a lack of clever people who play and like games out there? Maybe just in Brighton... Although actually, I've never seen that method of localisation before... is that true? We always just played the game through... sometimes wishing that we COULD have a spreadsheet so we could run it all through fucking spellchecker...