Salka

You unfunky non-mom, you.

I think we need to resolve the issues at hand here. For a start, who is the new, funkier virgin mom? Me, or Cremo? And why does OftenK possess part of a noodle box that I don't? Why am I such an ace at guessing eye colour, and speaking of which why don't you just admit your eyes really are brown and I got it right, you liar? So many issues. So many hands. Quite a lot of thumbs, too. Whoa! Thumb references everywhere!

Perhaps he indulges in the odd bit of heterosexual porn in the same way as hetereosexuals indulge in the occasional helping of homosexual porn? Did you ever think of that? Because I did. Just now, in fact.

Yeah, you fuckers! What do you have against Mermaids and what have they ever done to you and for your information you're stupid, and dumb, and stupid, and mermaids have never done anything to you, especially not blow your head off even though you're stupid and probably deserve to have your head blown off because you're stupid and you have something against Mermaids even though they've never done anything to you because you're pretty much stupid.

Super Duper! Awesome surprise when I went to check my e-mail! I've gone from using 98% of my inbox, to 6%!!! I bet you hotmail and excite bastards are just so jealous.

Hahaha. On the other hand, I'm not surprised, since everything they do sounds the same anyway.

It has all sorts of things to communicate with. It's a very special thumb.

Uhh.... anyway... Whatever! Like, ask me if I care! Talk to the thumb, because the fingers aren't listening.

No, but it does have "Win a trip to the Carribbean for a Family of 4!!!" on it.

He said; Cue Trep... And, Wtf?! Chris can't carry Gods son on account of you have to be a girl to carry-- oh. Wait. Yeah. Never mind. Hmph. You are not so great! In fact, I have a box of noodles, right here. (Cue Trep, goddamnit!)

Easy Peasy. It's an ink blob. Signifying Jackson's insanity.

Aye. I was an extremely obsessive gamer and wouldn't stop, no matter how hard the game, until I had completed it. I think I completed X-Quest, too, but I can't remember. The only reason I stopped BvsTSM was because the Disk stopped working. In fact, that's the only reason I stopped playing Doom II over and over again, and why I never played Cruise for a Corpse. Because our version had dodgy diskettes and we forgot to get it replaced. How I hated those damn disks. Always breaking. Come to think of it, I was an extremely unlikely girl.

Gods! Magic Pocket! And even though I never completed this game or even knew what the hell was happening... I think Dreamweb deserves a mention. That game was fantastic. Brilliant atmosphere, lots of detail. Everything had a description or a comment of some sort. Everything. Not actual quote...

What is it that you people have against SOFT?!?! Sip the damn coffee first,then!!!

Teapot.

Apparatus: 1. A lot of very soft cushions 2. A really big mug of coffee 3. A corner Method: Pile cushions in the (preferably warm) corner. Sit on cushions to study. Enjoy steaming mug of coffee and immerse yourself in the world of meaningless words and numbers. Conclusion: The only way to study, including Coffee and Soft Cushions.

To aim at.

...Was Jungle Strike released on the Spectrum? Gasp! Simpsons: Bart Vs Space Mutants! Most annoying best game ever! I never made it past the marsh that I think was in the museum level. What the hell? What was I supposed to do!?

For about a month now, there has been a mouse living in the attic. I wouldn't care if he stayed up there because that doesn't bother me. I never go in to the attic, and there's nothing up there. But I guess that's exactly why my little friend goes wandering at night. Usually, he only came out at night. I set mouse traps everywhere, trying to catch this one little mouse. He would climb down the walls from the attic, coming through whatever tiny little hole or crevice he could find, and he would run under my monitor, and then use the rubber coating of various wires and leads to insulate his nest or something. He would chew my printing paper, or sample my drawings. Sometimes, he would even leave samples of his own. I put mouse traps on the table. Not even humane mouse traps. Those ones that strangle them to death. The first time he escaped death somehow, and since he has not gone near a mousetrap, no matter how much peanut butter or cheese I leave on it. And not just cheese, but expensive brie cheese. Then, he started getting cocky. I'd be sitting there, and he'd run on down a vertical wall and start running along my table, hopping across the traps like some kind of movie star mouse. Thinking he was so smart. One time he carried off a piece of paper with an essential phone number written on it, right before my incredulous eyes. So I decided that if the traps wouldn't catch him, I would. Next time he came down, I silently slipped on my black killing gloves, and just when he thought he was hidden, I yanked the monitor out of the way. Somehow, there was no mouse. Nothing. Just poo. My plan had been to catch him while he was struggling up the wall. But there was really nothing there. And then I saw it. My speakers. The little bastard was inside my speaker box. Chuckling horribly like the good guys in Tom and Jerry cartoons (You'll notice my opinion on Tom and Jerry has changed since this event), I covered the hole in my speaker with a hand, unplugged it, and brought it outside into the front garden. I turned it over. A pathetic little squeak emerged from inside, and what sounded horribly like little pieces of poo fell after it. Cautiously I tipped the speaker contents into a box. My plan was to put the box in the car, and then drive a hundred miles into the nearest desert and leave it there, like in Tom and Jerry. But, like in Tom and Jerry, it didn't work. The mouse leapt, like some kind of super incredible hulk-style mouse, into the air, twisted, somersaulted, landed in the grass, and scurried straight back into the house. And straight back into the attic. Because even as I have been writing this, his little nose is poking through a little tiny hole in the ceiling. I'm not even joking. My plan is to put a slice of expensive swiss cheese into the speaker and leave it there. Then, when he eats it, I'll tell him that the holes in it aren't just decoration. They were eaten into it by swiss maggots. Then, he'll feel sick and maybe pass out like I did when I found that out. Or maybe when he goes in to eat it, I'll put the entire speaker into the car and drive into the desert. I guess Santa misinterpeted my wish for a wireless mouse for the computer. Ahh! It's probably pregnant. It'll probably have a nest of baby rats in my speaker. Haha, not if I catch if first. I'll punch it in the stomach with my index finger until it has a rodent miscarriage. How I used to laugh when DF had this problem. Oh, the irony. Anybody else with gross, unfunny stories about mice?

Hahaha! Our hamster got loose once when we were staying with our grandparents. Who didn't know we'd brought the hamster. And they had a dog. We searched everywhere for the damn creature. But it was nowhere to be found. About a week pasted. Sometimes we'd hear the dog growling for no reason, and we'd rush to see if he'd found it. But all to no avail. Unfortunately, we did not have a clever solution like you did. We found it when we heard our grandfather yelling from his bedroom, "Jaysus CHRIST! Get this feckin' animal off my bed!!!" I miss Hoagie...

Sounds cool. I doubt enough people would be interested though. I would, however.

In monkey island 1 there are two ways to light to fuse of the cannon. Seriously. Because you were supposed to use the leaflet you got earlier in the game, but you didn't have to use the leaflet, so the testers figured out that you could get stuck unless you got the leaflet. So there's something else you can burn too. Stans Business Card I think.

Jesus Christ, Settlers! Settlers was awesome!!!

Oh. Well. That is amazing. I wish people would do that more...

Not just facial expression, actual whole body language.