Intrepid Homoludens

> sing You try to invent stupid lyrics and sing them to the tune of Albinoni's Adagio, but nothing else happens, and your voice echoes slightly down the long corridor beyond the doorway of this room. There is a 3D head of Yufster on the floor. >

> smack Yufster upside the back of the head til her eyeballs shoot out.

> interact with yufster You hit some illegible keys at random, causing the 3D Wormsie model to walk up to the Yuftster model and punch her in the face. The impact is so powerful that Yufster's head is knocked off her shoulders and flies out the screen, across the room your are in, and hits the door with such an impact as to bash it open. The computer screen goes blank. Beyond the door is a long corridor. There is a 3D head of Yufster on the floor. >

> Suddenly, the 3D wormsie starts to speak. "I am Bobbin, are you my mother?" it utters. Then it closes its mouth and continues staring. I don't know the words 'Suddenly, the 3D wormsie starts to speak. "I am Bobbin, are you my mother?" it utters. Then it closes its mouth and continues staring.' > look at keyboard It's just a standard keyboard. The characters on the keyboard are illegible to you. The two 3D Yufster and wormsie models begin staring at you, as if waiting for you to interact with them. >

Or Lens Flare™.

> q I don't know the word 'q'. >

You whore!

> smell the ashes There is no ashes here. A 3D Marek and a Jake walk onto the screen and mop up the blood and parts from the exploded Yufster, while the Wormsie model is laughing hysterically. No sooner have they cleaned up than a brand new 3D Yufster model appears. The two 3D Yufster and wormsie models begin staring at you, as if waiting for you to interact with them. >

>kill yourself with nasty knife Unfortunately your attempt at suicide is thwarted by the fact that you have blunted and bent the knife from trying to cut the stainless steel wall with it. Meanwhile the two 3D Yufster and wormsie models begin staring at you, as if waiting for you to interact with them. >

> cut wall with nasty knife You discover that the walls of this room are made of impenetrable stainless steel painted white, and nothing can puncture it. Meanwhile the two 3D Yufster and wormsie models begin staring at you, as if waiting for you to interact with them. >

> remain uninvolved in thread I don't know the word 'uninvolved in thread'. Meanwhile the two 3D Yufster and wormsie models begin staring at you, as if waiting for you to interact with them. >

The monitor is bolted down to the desk and cannot be moved. Meanwhile the two 3D Yufster and wormsie models begin staring at you, as if waiting for you to interact with them. >

ysbreaker > inventory You look inside your fabulously expensive Gucci black leather backpack and find: A packed gourmet lunch from Dean & Deluca A naked picture of George W. Bush An Xbox copy of Psychonauts A six page typewritten essay by Kingz comparing Dadaist art to Futurist art in the context of pre-World War I European culture (it received a grade of A) A sterling silver stylus from Tiffany's A small bottle of blue hair dye A nasty knife ---- There is no absinth here. The door seems to be locked.

In your attempt to move the keyboard you accidentally hit a key. The 3D Yufster begins saying: "Blah blah blah blah blah....Tim Schafer......blah blah blah blah blah blahdiddy blahdiddy blah blah!" The 3D wormsie reacts by rolling his eyes.

I don't know the word 'fook yoo träp'.

You hear some whirring sounds, then a previously hidden keyboard panel slides out. A 3D image of Yufster and wormsie facing each other, beautifully rendered by the Source engine, suddenly lights up the large screen, each model with its own health bar. It's more than obvious that this 'game' is inviting you to do something, but the characters on the keyboard are illegible to you.

Does it contain spoilers?

Chi instead of The Force.

When reading games journalism and writing starts doing this to me: (which can be fairly often), I usually turn to read art and architecture critisms (Clement Greenburg rocks), the film reviews of Jonathan Rosenbaum, or a couple episodes of Odyssey. Works every time.

Only for you, darling Kingz.

Is it worth downloading and playing? I remember a couple people here mentioning it's not bad.

I didn't know you had to 'esc' and then debrief, I thought once you did everything the game automatically ends. But it looked like I did every single thing right. And none of my men died or was even scratched. I did, however, kill one suspect, but only because I ran out of rubber ammo for my shotgun. I should have let my men handle him but I was the closest and he turned to fire at me.

# WTF is going on here?

Then fire the skank!

It's very good, thanks. Quite tricky, precisely because the enemies are dynamic - they run, hide, and move around the leve. I guess I, um....did an 'overnighter' playing it. Got killed twice. On my third time now. Except that I seem to be one weapon evidence away from beating the demo, I think. I can't find the stupid gun!