Danielle

I am still crawling through the game (in fits and starts, probably 16-17 hours in with 210 + 9), and determined to make my way through that godforsaken marsh area. I'm on the very puzzle that Twig was talking about on this page of the thread, and spending most of my 3am headspace on it. I've gone through periods of intense frustration, but I also think I'm starting to truly fall for the game. When I was at the laundromat Sunday, I pulled out my phone and studied screenshots I had taken of panels the night before. For better or worse, The Witness has me.

I am simultaneously loving and hating this game. I really love that it's a pretty puzzle game, where there is no BS - solve puzzles, explore environments. No handholding, no fluff. But I really don't like that I encounter so many puzzles that I simply don't know if I "know" how to solve them yet or not. The game feels like a smug asshole in some places, and it does give me a headache if I play too long (I'll try that tiny post-it note trick!) Really, I'm just irritated that there is a puzzle -- this jerk https://twitter.com/Danielleri/status/693330998742929408 (not a spoiler, since it's unsolved) ...where the mechanics are (to my knowledge) never really taught. I'm cool with hard games, but hard games have an even bigger responsibility to communicate with the player, imo. That said, this game is dominating my thoughts and I cannot stop playing. I want to tease out every mystery, even if it's painful to do so!

When we did police brutality work at the ACLU (which we did a fair bit of at the offices I worked at - in sf and Boston), much of the talk on solutions emphasized community policing. The idea being - police who actually give a shit about their community will be far more likely to see people as people, instead of generic bad guys. Of course, much of this boils down to racism (and even cops who are POC are not immune to this effect, which is the saddest and most scathing indictment of institutional racism that I can think of). Better training (especially wrt racial bias), more transparency = a better system for everyone. There's good science on this (plug - https://www.aclu.org/issues/criminal-law-reform/reforming-police-practices). Of course, whether or not better policies actually get implemented is a far, far more depressing question.

Hey all! Something I wanted to really briefly clarify re: my comments on Rousey: her initial comments on Fallon Fox were something I considered ignorant, but not necessarily malicious. She commented on fighting a person who was assigned male at birth, that there was an unfair advantage to a person who had gone through puberty and had the bone structure of an adult man. Now, the science on that says that transwomen who have transitioned (i.e. who are taking hormone therapy) have essentially reversed their possible advantage, since HRT comes with side effects that present possible athletic disadvantages. Basically, science has refuted those comments. I don't crucify Rousey for saying what she initially said - she may have just simply not known, and those initial comments just read as basic ignorance to me, not like a mean or gross statement about trans folks. But when she doubled down on her initial statement, she crossed the line, in my mind, from being perhaps insensitive to being fully gross and transphobic - she said "she can chop her pecker off" -- http://www.mixedmartialarts.com/news/436662/Rousey-Chop-her-pecker-off-Fallon-Fox-still-at-an-advantage/ I still commend the hell out of Rousey for what she's done for women's sports and women in combat sports particularly. And I would forgive her if she made an actual apology (with action behind it) to Fox and the trans community. (Not that I think Rousey would give a damn what some dorky video game podcaster thinks, I'm just illustrating where the line is for me with hero worship). I think there's room for forgiveness, as I've said, I've said and done some really awful things in my life. I like to give others the chance to make things better as well. Just keep wearing your bracelets.

That's a pretty awesome idea...

I just discovered this thread! Can I gush? Is that ok? We adopted Finn one week after we moved to NYC. She was a tiny baby when we got her - 2.5 lbs and 2 1/2 months old. Finn, early November: https://twitter.com/Danielleri/status/665169446634283008 Her, today: https://twitter.com/Danielleri/status/683712758160986112 She's adventurous and super, super affectionate. This probably has to do with the fact that we got her so young and we love holding her and walking around the house, but she doesn't go long in between cuddles. (And she sort of likes me better than my gf, but I just think it's because she spends more time with me!) Every morning, she likes to give me kisses and spoon for a bit. Even when she naps, she likes to have her head and at least one paw on me. She's just a little snugglebunny, and I couldn't be happier. I've never had a pet before, and I am head over heels in love with our little furball. I can't get over how loving and sweet she is (whenever I'm upset, she comes over to investigate and try to cuddle). I seriously miss her when I'm away for any length of time - even just when I'm out to class. I didn't see her for four days at Christmas and I think I almost died. Is this normal? We're thinking of getting a puppy sometime soon, so I was wondering if folks have any advice for kitty/puppy harmony. Finn is still a baby at 4 months (we've heard it's good to introduce them young so they can grow up together)... anything else we should be aware of?

Here's how I voted in Polygon's GOTY proceedings 1. Dropsy 2. SOMA 3. Witcher 3 4. Life is Strange 5. Rise of the Tomb Raider 6. Super Mario Maker 7. Read Only Memories 8. Undertale 9. Her Story 10. Bloodborne Jennegatron nailed it re: Dropsy's excellence. No one else at my outlet voted for it (though, I think we had a damned fine list overall), but it was the most special experience I had in a game all year. The entire top five was very, very close for me.

I walked out of the movie last weekend and saw so many little girls dressed as Leia (70s Cinnabon Leia) who were clearly super impressed by Rey and wanted to be HER next time. Almost brought me to tears (of joy!)

Spoiler-free thoughts! Man alive, was I thrilled to see women and people of color in classic action-hero roles. I loved Leia in the original movies - she was a leader and could fight, so there's no shade to be thrown there, but this is a huge step forward. It didn't feel like an afterthought or any kind of gross pandering, just - here are your heroes. With a movie this huge - that's incredible. The movie itself was a bit too self-indulgent, but entertaining and well-made. If Star Trek: Into Darkness was JJ Abrams shitty remix of a beloved sci-fi classic, this is his mostly-awesome remix of a beloved sci-fi classic.

Seconded!

I've been following this thread with great interest. And I have, at times, been incredibly guilty of the "most emphatically guilty" white person in the room syndrome that Chris described above. I try not to be, because it obviously doesn't help anything or make anyone feel better about the problems that we have in this culture (and I can only speak as an American). For me, the biggest difficulty in this realm comes not from food, but from where I live and pay rent. I just moved from the mission in San Francisco - the same historically working class Latino neighborhood that my girlfriend grew up in, as a working class Latina woman. And where did my gentrifying ass end up? Bushwick, Brooklyn, a historically Latino and Black neighborhood. There's a ton of art here (one of the things I love about my neighborhood), and much of it bemoans gentrification. And it's right! The rent is too damn high, it's a travesty when people are priced out of their homes, and it all sucks. But yet, I'm here, I pay my rent, I try to be a good neighbor, and soon I'll be a volunteer EMT serving this community. I can't be a *complete* piece of shit, right? Or, so I hope, and want not to be. This is all very personal, which is why emotions run high in this thread, I think. FWIW, I try very, very hard to spend time with people whose viewpoints and experience differs greatly from my own, because I've been guilty of spending a lot of time in "bubbles, " and I try hard to be proactive and take what small action I can. It pretty much always comes down to volunteering or donating to organizations that I feel are effective at working on a particular problem, etc. That's a super general last thought, but as a sorta-still-an-activist, I still like to end on notes of hope/encouragement/action, because I know how very depressing and hopeless much of this can feel.

I've never been divorced, but I did go through a legal separation to a domestic partner (sort of like divorce, just as same sex marriage was in the process of being legalized in CA). What I can tell you about couples therapy is to be as honest as humanly possible while still being thoughtful of your partner's feelings. The therapist/counselor will be able to give you the best advice (which may well not be to stay together) if you are both honest. My heart goes out to you - please stay strong and try to take care of yourself.

How could I be so dense! Here, I never stop tweeting pictures and vines of her: https://twitter.com/Danielleri/status/673881613005160448 https://twitter.com/Danielleri/status/673876208237572096

*waves* I took a little break from the forums for awhile, since I was legitimately torn up about thumbs. But now that Idle Weekend is ALMOST HERE and I'm settling into my new life in NYC, I knew it was time. In the last 5 weeks... I moved from SF to NYC, got my first pet (my kitten, Finn!), became a certified first responder again and am training to be a full EMT again, and... a few other things I can't talk about just yet. But there have been a lot of huge changes in a short span. Most of them, I'm very happy to report, have actually been good! Though, I miss my friends (especially the thumbs), the hills, the weather and my boxing gym in SF. The most exciting part that I can actually talk about is the EMT training. I was an EMT when I lived in Boston 7 years ago, and in the past year, I helped as a bystander with a couple of medical emergencies. I had always regretted letting my certification lapse, so, now, I'm retraining. The good news is, if I ever lapse again, New York state will only require me to take the refresher course again, not this full course. I'm LOVING it. Working online, there's obviously a bit of a disconnect sometimes. Medicine feels like the most 'connected' thing you can do - painfully so at times. I'm not going to be a doctor, but I know that it feels incredible to be helpful to someone in a really bad situation, and that gives me a huge boost. I know this all sounds preachy and weird, probably, but it really does feel enriching and worthwhile to me. Plus, it allows me to get entirely outside of the sort of bubble I live most of my life in. EMTs encounter people from every imaginable walk of life, often on their worst day. That's incredible, and it's good for me, radical liberal white queer girl, to experience. Anyway, I missed you all, and I'm happy to be back

Just popping in to say thank you all for the well wishes and kind words. This has been a really tough move, so it means the world to me. And I'm overjoyed that people are excited about the new cast! I'm not leaving, not when a community is *this* fantastic, warm and positive

It might well be mine, as well, for the same reason! Re: all the GOTY discussion, I actually enjoy some of it each year, and hate some of it. I have a lot of fun "championing" certain games (and often being the only one on staff who liked something "that" much, like with Alien last year, or even played something, like with my #2 and #3 games, DKC and Eidolon), since it's an excuse for me to gush about things I found special/interesting/exciting. I'll be the first to admit I get very excited about the things I like, so, GOTY time is a fun outlet for that. The part I hate - having to pretend coworkers' crappy, terrible "safe" choices are valid. I am a total child. And to Patrick R's point about GOTY stuff being marketing, specifically yes and no, as well! So much of this job is how to market the material so it gets read/watched. Someone else pointing out that clickbait is basically a dead term makes sense now - everything is clickbait, and it has to be, because it your site isn't growing, advertisers will turn away and you will die a sad death. It depresses me how often I see (redacted game X I find boring as hell) in our top posts. But I genuinely think that people vote honestly in these award things - I think a lot of game journalists at bigger sites simply share a lot of the same tastes. I tend to be into the weirdest stuff compared to the rest of my coworkers, and I know for sure I haven't even touched the smallest/weirdest most niche stuff out there yet. Finally, yes, Undertale is wonderful.

Here's where my heart goes out to YOU - I've been an adjunct for 6 and a half years now, mainly because I need a side gig on top of FT work *because* of the MA I earned that allows me to teach university (vicious cycle, academia is the worst, don't talk to me about student loans etc.). And being treated as disposable rather sucks (enrollment is down, so I've had two courses cancelled in the last year - money I needed, so I'm scrambling right now, in the middle of this move, to secure more teaching work/teaching jobs at other colleges). What I will say is this - if you can find FT work and take a job as an adjunct somewhere as your part-time job, it can work beautifully. You are somewhat insulated from the worst of the inter-and-intra-departmental politics, which I find to be the worst part of teaching. You'll also have more to offer your students, imo, if you work in your field outside the classroom. I'm curious, what kinds of jobs are you interested in (the creative adjunct part intrigued me). Good luck!

I feel this. So, so hard. I'm going to admit that I lurk in this thread constantly, and I really love it. And I never post in here, but since it seems like a comfy, safe kinda place, I'll go ahead! This move - from SF to NYC - has been painful. Really painful. I don't want to leave San Francisco, for a hundred reasons (and I'm making a little tiny game about how much I love it here and am heartbroken over the move), but more than anything, because San Francisco is the only place I've ever felt fully at home since I was a little kid. It feels right to be here. Not many people ever get to have that. I love a lot of things here that NO ONE likes, like the hills (best hill running of my life). I love the wacky, friendly people everywhere. I like the sense of queer history, and of course I love the weather. It's melodramatic, but there are ways in which I've been mourning my life here, and feeling like this is some kind of break-up in a relationship. I'm doing my best to carry on and put on a brave face, but I think maybe the 10,000 or so tweets about how expensive it is here and how sad I am have *probably* belied my true feelings. Anyway, moving sucks. To everyone else going through this minor hell, I salute you.

Oh, that was masterful, Smart Jason. Ep 4 spoilers, as well:

I'm glad someone caught the Bimmy and Jimmy thing I started watching that commentary let's play when the first episode came out, but forgot it existed after that. I want to know *everything* about the making of that game (which I loved so much as a 17-year-old), and I'm nervous to go back to it. I'd like to stream the whole thing, actually, if I don't actively hate it as a 31-year-old.

Also! Sorry to spam the podcast discussion, but I also wanted to link to the Space Station bar (the video game bar I gushed about in Osaka) -- https://www.facebook.com/SpaceStationOsaka If you ever find yourself in Osaka, you should go there. In addition to having just about every console and thousands of games (and being a really friendly place in general), they have the greatest video game bathroom I've ever seen. Some choice shots: https://twitter.com/Danielleri/status/621710530462527488

PJ is amazing! So, Big Jon - one of the runners I mentioned in the cast, streams here - http://www.twitch.tv/gamej06 and Stivitybobo (The Banjo-Kazooie runner) tends to be more interesting with his couch crew (I made that term up!), but I often really like it when the GDQ runner + couch has good interplay. The runner themself can be quiet or more quiet, as long as their team is entertaining and explaining all of the tricks well. This run exemplifies that well, I think! Though, one of the best examples of a runner with great rapport/support from the couch was yesterday's Zelda swordless run. (I am becoming a huge GDQ dork, I have no regrets.)

I'm having a lot of fun watching these (I usually do! This stuff is like candy for me) - but there have been a few weird moments. That Crash Bandicoot 2 guy was really awkward and... the mass murder jokes were seriously awful. But I feel kind of bad for the guy - I just kept thinking "this kid probably needs help" The Silent Hill 2 run was also awesome, though the twitch chat was unfathomably bad, since it was a young woman running the game. Lots of nasty sexist stuff. I think the mods got some semblance of control, but it was rough for awhile there. Stuff like this sucks, because it's otherwise a really positive, awesome event. A bunch of passionate people are showing just how well they know and love - and can completely break - oft-beloved games, and the whole charity angle gives it some warm fuzzies. I'd just love it if maybe they could vet some of the runners a bit better, and maybe not allow anonymous chat...