Zeusthecat

So I was driving in the car the other day with my wife and daughter and I farted. It smelled terrible but I was quite enjoying it and was very proud of the smell I had produced. I was confused however, when my wife didn't say anything. Normally she gets very disgusted and makes me roll the window down. After a few seconds she proclaims, "I farted and it smells really gross". At that instant, my enjoyment turned to pure disgust because I realized that at least part of what I was smelling did not come out of my own ass. I then admitted I had farted too and saw her come to the same realization about what she was smelling. We then rolled the windows down and finished driving home.

If nobody ever made another FPS there would probably still be enough to play continuously for the rest of my life.

Damn, I was hoping you wouldn't bring that up. It agonizes me to not have all of my consoles in my game room. Here is a glimpse into how my wonderfully consolidated room with all of my consoles became fragmented (in list form because I love things in list format): We had cable on all our tvs and didn't use Netflix or anything. At this point all of my consoles were in my game room and I was happy. We got into Wii Fit for awhile and decided to move the Wii downstairs so we would have more room (I died just a little at this point). We cut the cable and got a Roku leaving us with only basic over-the-air channels on all tvs except the game room tv. I remembered the PS3 and 360 could stream shit and moved the Roku (the WiFi version) downstairs so that we could have two tvs with streaming (didn't want to use the Wii for streaming because no HD). Black Friday came around and we got a Blu-Ray player with streaming for the bedroom. Brought it home and realized it didn't have WiFi and my router is in the game room. Wife was pissed because she wanted Netflix and Hulu in the room so I made the difficult decision to move the PS3 into the bedroom (I died a little more) for streaming since it has WiFi and put the new Blu-Ray player in the game room so I could plug it in to my router. Luckily most of my gaming is on the 360 and PC so it hasn't been too much of a hassle but it still makes me really sad to break all the siblings up like that.

Breakdown of Blu-Ray players and stuff that can stream: regular Blu-Ray player (downstairs tv) Blu-Ray player with streaming (game room tv) PS3 (bedroom tv) Xbox360 (game room tv) Roku (downstairs tv) Wii (downstairs tv) So I can stream, play games, and watch Blu-Rays/DVDs on every tv in the house. I mostly stick to games though unless I am watching stuff with my wife or daughter. I am also spoiled.

Ah cool dibs. I can appreciate that. My gripes are solely with people that claim to not touch modern technology at all and act like they are better people than everyone else because of it. We got rid of cable last year and got the Roku (went from $120 per month to $16). Also, having a Blu-Ray player with streaming, the PS3, and Xbox 360 we had more than enough devices to get Netflix and Hulu on every tv. It is definitely hit or miss on what is added or removed from these services based on what deals Netflix and Hulu are able to negotiate but it still works for me since I'm so distracted by video games anyways.

Was the whole post serious? If so, oops, I'm sorry for taking it the wrong way. I read it as "I don't watch tv", followed by an implication that you've seen seasons 1 & 2 of GoT and that you watch cooking shows at your brother's house (which would both be counter to the "I don't watch tv statement). Then the no internet comment with the LoL in the signature. Now I realize you probably mean you don't take the time to sit there and watch tv at home and just catch whatever shows interest you through other methods. And the signature being out of date explains the internet thing. Damn, I totally had it built up as an amazing sarcastic post. I can relate somewhat to the tv thing. Most of the tv I watch is when I'm spending time with my wife so I don't see much beyond the most horrible of horrible reality tv (although we did watch Breaking Bad and Walking Dead together). When it comes to me time and I'm deciding between video games and tv, video games always win.

Beautiful sarcasm on so many levels. The icing on the cake is the signature line "Currently Playing: League of Legends..."

I think you should at least be able to have your body donated to cannibals after you die. When I die I want my body either donated to cannibals or necrophiliacs.

I'm sure this has been talked about before but I just want to state how douchy I think people are that go around proclaiming they don't watch tv, use the internet, or play video games. This most often comes up when I am first getting to know someone. I maybe tell them about some tv shows I like or some video games I'm into and they respond with a snarky little "Oh, I don't watch tv (or even own one) or do any of that kind of stuff." So I ask them what they like to do and the response is always the same: hiking, volunteering, and church stuff. These are usually people I work with and without fail, each one has turned out to be a major douche who thinks they're better than everyone else. Fuckers.

I didn't think there was a chance in hell anyone else had ever played that game. I'll never forget getting the final piece to the GWAR tickets and going to the concert at the end. There was a lot of shit in that game that terrified me but the poodle was the worst.

Somewhat related to this, I always find it funny how seriously people take quotes and hold them to be universal truths. "The grass is greener, etc" "An apple a day, etc" We always tried to make up our own. A couple of mine are: "Instincts don't always lead to survival" "Not everything is due to karma, sometimes it's genetic" It's a pretty fun game. It's surprising how easy it is to come up with a real sounding quote.

Another message from that stupid sign: "A Bible that is falling apart belongs to someone who isn't" I think the opposite is true.

Looks like everything's working now after not being able to navigate here for most of the day. False alarm I guess?

Earlier this morning I lost the ability to navigate to this site from all browsers on my work PC. It's weird because it doesn't bring up the Websense thing indicating that the site has been blocked, it just can't be found. Can still get here from my phone browser though. Weird.

Just tell him to stop worrying, he can just ask for forgiveness. Problem solved. -Proverbs 32:8

"We always wanted the headcrabs to be more realistic and be creepy baby heads with tentacles coming out but the technology didn't exist yet. Now that dream can finally be realized in the re-re-re-release of Half Life 2: Dead Space Edition."

And then he probably thought, "Damn, those kids really were stupid. All just standing there waiting for their turn to be mauled. I'm pretty sure a bear can really only maul one kid at a time." - 1st Corinthians 13:17

It's been quite awhile. I knew it started with an 'E' though. Thanks!

That was Ezekiel getting made fun of right? I've used that story when arguing against religious people and they never believe me that the Bible said that. I love using my years of being brainwashed against the very type of people that performed the brainwashing. It blows their fucking minds. "Everything you are about to read is fiction and is to be heard in James Earl Jones's voice" -Genesis 1:1

Which reminds me: The save system in Dead Rising

1. Circumcision is cutting satan off your penis. 2. Bibles are flammable so make sure you are holding one whenever you sin so God doesn't rain fire down on you from heaven. Also, one day I started randomly finishing every sentence I spoke with a Bible verse. It was fucking hilarious (I thought). For example: 1. I really need to take a crap - John 13:5 2. Hey babe, what's for dinner? - Isaiah 7:4 3. I don't really feel like putting the dishes away - Psalms 20:15 4. Man I drank too much last night and I feel like shit today - Revelations 12:8 Edit: And as a fun challenge, try this out when you are in the middle of a fight with your significant other. It will totally catch them off guard.

The original one on the NES. Specifically, that giant Samurai boss that I could never get past. But the whole rest of the game too because death was lurking around every corner.

There is this church next to the freeway that I see every morning on my way to work and every evening on my way home. They have a giant sign with random religious messages that they display at all hours of the day in an attempt to brainwash innocent commuters. Here is the message they had just the other day: "Babies are God's opinion that the world should go on" What the fuck are they smoking?

Yes, terrifying. Also: The first invisible elites with swords in Halo CE The whole haunted house level in Mario 64 The giant metal guy in Pilot Wings 64 that throws shit at you in the mini US level Grenades in Call of Duty on Veteran Giga Gaia boss in Chrono Trigger The Dracula level in Conker's Bad Fur Day All of the original Ninja Gaiden Hammer guys from original Super Mario Bros Rakghouls from KOTOR The sewer level from Shadows of the Empire The vicious poodle from Beavis and Butthead for Sega Genesis The water level from Sonic the Hedgehog 2 Soda Popinski The robots that zap you in TMNT The Arcade Game Spiky blue shells from Mario Kart

Quick update on CoD WaW. I finally fucking beat that subway mission. Turns out, one of the main guys (Reznov or something) glitched out and had got stuck at the entrance of the subway in his "waving people in" animation. I kept getting to the end of the tunnel and it was just an endless firefight with an objective that said to regroup with my squad. Problem is, since Reznov was stuck at the tunnel entrance it never triggered the final sequence where he unlocks the door. I tried over and over to get him to move and kept restarting my checkpoint but never had any luck. So I finally decided to just restart the level and this time around the objective updated correctly and he moved into the tunnel with us. I must have gotten pretty fucking good at this game because this time I went from beginning to end of this level in about 25 minutes where it had taken me around 2 hours before. I actually got through the whole subway on my first try this time no problem. I fucking hate glitches and I wasted hours of my life. Fuck Treyarch (I need someone to blame).