Colourful Stuff

Can I unread this news? Ryan was a magnificent creature.

Wow, I didn't expect such a positive reaction. Thanks for reading about my crappy/amazing job.

This seems like a good place to put some thoughts I've been having about environmental storytelling. This summer I'm doing some cleaning contracts, the first of which I'm a week into. The job involves working my way through a list of student flats, entering the empty rooms and clearing them of anything left behind by the occupant. Usually this will be a few plastic bags, hair bobbles or a forgotten bar of soap, but once in a while I come across a room that initially looks occupied. The office often make mistakes so I'm mindful to avoid clearing rooms before the occupant has checked out. I'll talk a little bit about one of today's assignments. The room was in disarray, boxes and clothes strewn across the carpet. I immediately looked to the desk as the presence of a computer is a sure sign that the room is still in use. The desk was clear except for a Hitachi CD player and some Lego. The bed was unmade, sheet and mattress protector gathers in a mouldering mound. This was an empty room, and empty woman's room, and empty Japanese woman's room, judging by the two care packages emblazoned with a half familiar alphabet. Next to a the boxes of unfamiliar food and beauty products was a bin bag overflowing with issues of The Economist. Already an image was beginning to form of who this person was. Studying at Liverpool Uni while learning English as a foreign language (you would be hard pressed to find a city who's native English speakers have a weaker grasp of the language, the Scouse dialect using "fuckin'" as punctuation.) I liked this person, I would have liked to know this person. Equally I was frustrated by this person's careless disregard for my time, making me carry down three flights of stairs what she didn't want or couldn't afford to ship home. Then the sickly task of bagging and binning began. Despite my best efforts I can't help but feel like I'm breaking a social contract by throwing away an other person's belongings, and despite my best efforts I can't stop breaking another social contract by taking a voyeuristic pleasure in this process. The style, size and value of every item of clothing mentally logged and added to or subtracted from my photofit absentee. This time I found a corset and cheap, plastic Ann Summers dress. This completed the picture of a young, liberated woman from a privileged background, separated from her parents for the first time in a strange city. I felt uncomfortable, as I always do after this sort of victimless voyeurism but pleased that I'd found a happy life in the debris of her year. Then I moved on to the ensuite. On the toilet cistern sat neatly side by side were two pregnancy tests. They were positive. This didn't so much complete the picture as it did wee all over it. My hypothesis was confounded by something horribly intimate. The messy room was not the careless residue of a happy life, it was insignificant when contrasted with the enormity of her predicament. To bring this back to video games and Gone Home, the idea of environmental storytelling once seemed contrived to me. It seemed like a useful tool to negate exposition and was only possible because of the strange way people we play video games. Poking about like pervey Wombles, picking everything up and looking in every nook and cranny for secrets or clues. What I've realised over the past week is we are all pervy Wombles, video games are just allow us to express our voyeuristic impulses. I've heard people say that they wouldn't start looking in all the draws and picking up all the ornaments in real life, like you do in Gone Home, but I think they might. The impulse to find the stories hidden around us is powerful and I can't wait to indulge that impulse with Gone Home.

Watching Vanaman versus Molyneux something came to mind. Sean is the most handsome Thumb. I used to think Steve's roguish good looks made him the obvious choice but Sean's apple red cheeks and tussled hair are objectively aesthetically appealing. His facial hair is also working well for him, despite giving the appearance of a Gap ad douche who picked the South American dictator beard.

PC Gamer UK describe it as 'CoD for dads', which is pretty accurate. The main game mode is a rolling attack/defend thing with limited spawn tickets. Arma it is not although it does accurately simulate weapons (reloading a bold action rifle before the magazine is empty will cause a live bullet to fly out of the breach.) The range of engagement is usually 100 meters or less (300-100 for MGs and snipers.) It has a command structure similar to Battlefield with SLs you can spawn on and a commander who calls in off-map support.

This is my proposed rescue ship. Please note; - No crew required, flies remotely! - Very light, requiring minimal fuel to reach orbit Be aware; - Solar powered computers need the sun to operate. A nuclear power solution may be preferable. - This is an untested design which may require tweaks/may not leave the ground. - I forgot to draw fuel on the orbiter, you will need that.

If it is a three man crew you could use one of the new circular rocket computer things and the four man container. That would make your orbiter lighter and easier to accelerate while making the whole think much safer. The poodle is a fine engine but the stubby fuel tank is useless for the mission you're trying to pull off, substitute it for an intermediate size. As for vertical v. horizontal thrust, solid rockets don't have gimbals so offer zero control. They are best used to break out of the first atmospheric layer, after than you want to be using controlled liquid thrust.

They crossfeed but they weigh too much for that to be useful. If you are trying to use two of those with one Mainsail you won't get very far. You may want to try an asparagus set up. Alternatively forget about the big engines and use the small engines and solid fuel boosters. Remember, the heavier you are the more fuel you need to accelerate and decelerate. Would an unmanned rescue be possible? Is there a docking port on the stranded ship?

This is my five man mission to Duna, Thirsty Dog. It comprises of five modules, the rear most section being a two man lander (in this picture the unmanned service module is yet to detach). Since this picture was take I've shuttled the final crew members up there. Now I intend to send an unmanned tug to fully fuel Thirsty Dog and shunt her into a higher orbit.

Do you know the basic principles involved? Launch while target is roughly overhead (make sure you mark it as your target) and start orbiting at the same altitude. Then all you need to remember is a tighter orbit will increase speed relative to the target. Once you are within a few km of the target burn retrograde until the relative target speed reads zero. Once your speed is matched it's just a matter of burning towards the target at 20-50m/s, then burning retrograde once within 100m or so until your speed is matched. Once close use RCS to move into position. The most important thing is to be patient and take your time. Also speed is hard to judge so it's best to fly with instruments until you reach the RCS phase.

I hear Tortimer is being investigated in connection with the Savile Enquiry.

Arrrrg, parents! Today is moving day. I'm supposed to be leaving Aberystwyth for my mum's house near Liverpool until me and my partner find jobs and a flat. She is supposedly coming with me, unfortunately she failed to effectively communicate this to the family. A romantic gesture of buying one last coffee and cannolis from our favourite coffee shop turned into a confrontation with them as they turned up unexpectedly to take her back to rural Wales. Kill me!

I'm not sure if this is considered a faux pas, but this is a video I made last year for a class competition which I secretly think is quite funny. We won by a significant margin, I'm sure you can see why. The incongruity between the audio and video is a result of my losing the sound for dumb reasons.

Wow, powerful sexual imagery!

How does your penis disappoint you? Does it constantly fail to live to its potential, skip rent and tell inappropriate jokes?

Speaking of meeting the people who live in your computer, are any UK Thumbs going to Rezzed in Birmingham next month? I'm not sure if it would be worth it (honestly I just want a hug from John Walker) but if any of you are going it might be fun meeting for a drink.

Maybe twenty tries? By that point my proficiency with the controls made executing kills trivial, that boss fight is more of a puzzle. It is the one with the panthers right? If you get past th e cats just wait for him to reload then shoot him.

Zeus, we love you and your junk, never change. X

'U's are brilliant and make 'o's better - signed Colourful Stuff.

Until recently (I'm 20) I would pretend to be somebody else while falling asleep. A great general contemplating the bloodshed the dawn would bring, an astronaut lost in space or a criminal laying low in a lonely motel. I only stopped two years ago when I started sleeping with my partner, now when I'm sleeping alone I just pretend I'm lying next to them. Wow, that sounds depressing written down.

You aren't going to start LARPing on us, are you?

One issue I do have with the AI and the design more broadly is to be successful at harder difficulties you have to pick it apart. It's a common problem with strategy games, a familiarity with the systems makes them feel less naturalistic, like you are solving a puzzle. This is balanced quite well in XCOM by the incredible theme and very human soldiers. Unity of Command solves the problem by having unusually naturalistic and unforgiving AI. A lot of the enemies and mission types in XCOM feel as if they exist to compensate for somewhat limited and predictable AI.

They don't move. The patrols technically just teleport about in the fog of war every turn. The rest just sit there waiting to be activated. It is a stylistic choice which places you squarely as the aggressor. Your problem seems to be with the asymmetry, but that is the style of strategy game this is. It's a design which compensated for the fact that you are a clever human playing against a dumb computer.

I like that decision. They don't get a full move, they just get half. If they didn't get that move they wouldn't be able to take cover. That would give you crits on all of them, killing them before they could do anything. Alternatively the AI could have special information about your position to ensure they were ready for your approach, but surely that would be more like cheating. The only thing that annoys me are the Thin Men who drop out of the sky and overwatch in the Council missions.

Kerbal Space Program has reinvigorated my passion for the art form. It was beginning to feel less special, almost like sitting down in front of reality TV. This is the moment which really reminded me how singular the medium is. I built and operated a machine which landed on another world. That is completely beyond the reach of other art forms.