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Intrepid Homoludens

The official How Would You Seduce Yufster? thread!

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ust by corrupting her mind:

- give green card to yufster.

- give job offer as designer and/or artist of double fine productions to yufster.

- give millions of billions of €€€€€€€ to yufster.

- give the possibility of making the game of her dreams with the people at double fine to yufster.

that must be enough.

oh, okay, another one so that my girlfriend - hopefully - won't kill me for cheating her:

- give candlelight dinner with tim schafer and/or chris remo and/or brad pitt (every girl likes brad pitt, don't deny it, because i won't believe you) [edited] and/or harrison ford to yufster.

I'd, like, take you over to Double Fine and introduce you to Tim. :mrt:

You guys are dreamy. I'm beginning to really like the name 'Chris'. American Chris gets more points than the Austrian Chris because the American Chris never mentioned Brad Pitt, and also because he's American. On the other hand, he loses points because he's from San Francisco and they all have long addresses with numbers in them that I hate writing out on envelopes.

During a long walk on a shell-riddled path in the park with Marek in San Francisco, I'd come up with a helicopter, snatch you away on a rope ladder hanging from it and take you to Los Angeles, a real city. There we'd find out where Mr. T lived and hide together in the bushes all day waiting for him to show up, stalking his every move.

I hate LA. Minus 5 points. Bonus points for mentioning Mr T.

You're none of you trying hard enough. I'll throw in a free SECRET PRIZE worth LOTS OF MONEY from SEGA that I don't WANT any more because it's USELESS and has been sitting up in my attic gathering dust for what, TWO YEARS or something!

oh, okay, another one so that my girlfriend - hopefully - won't kill me for cheating her...

You have a girlfriend?!!? And you're trying to seduce me in return for a signed copy of my Maths Homework!?? And a free game? And a Sega Dre-- SECRET PRIZE? WTF are you!? Minus one thousand billion trillion points!!!

How typically Austrian.

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You're none of you trying hard enough.

And you're playing hard to get, my little hottie. You play so poorly, too. I could teach you to become a formidable ace of icy seductiveness. But not before I grab you and pin you against the wall and violate your soft mouth with mine....

deadworm, she is intrigued with us, our kind. She knows we would make magnificent lovers because we understand the woman. We can be both lustful for her and excellent conversationalists and actualy respect her. And....the icing on the cake....we would take her shopping for shoes and clothes and actually give good advice!

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You have a girlfriend?!!? And you're trying to seduce me in return for a signed copy of my Maths Homework!?? And a free game? And a Sega Dre-- SECRET PRIZE? WTF are you!? Minus one thousand billion trillion points!!!

ahm...welll...yes. seducing other people, who are not your girlfriend, while avoiding cheating her is probably verrry complicated. so it can just be done by clever austrians. why should i else offer you a candlelight dinner with wannabe competitors?

that's austrian diplomacy.

hmmm...another one:

- give top secret indiana jones takeout nude scene to yufster.

and you won't can't let the american chris win. his country is reigned by austrian(s).

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And you're playing hard to get, my little hottie. You play so poorly, too. I could teach you to become a formidable ace of icy seductiveness. But not before I grab you and pin you against the wall and violate your soft mouth with mine....

I feel violated.

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and you won't can't let the american chris win. his country is reigned by austrian(s).

Oh crazy! I love Austrians! Wooo!

I hope you guys are taking notes from Trepstud.

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Ruse, how 'bout we go shopping, eh? We'll do the gaming shops first, then grab the Concorde and fly to San Francisco. There are some great shops up Grant Street, and over in Haight Ash. I know some friends who can recommend some raves to go dance, I want to see you move in rythm. Unless, of course, you'd rather stay in our hotel room, we can order an Xbox, a PS2, and a 'Cube and send out for pizza and white wine (real pizza, from Naples, not from Domino's). And later we can make mad passionate love on the rooftop of the hotel, we'll sneek up in our bathrobes. But if you're too tired you can fall asleep in my arms and I'll be in heaven....

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deadworm, she is intrigued with us, our kind. She knows we would make magnificent lovers because we understand the woman.

:blink:

We can be both lustful for her and excellent conversationalists and actualy respect her.

:blink:

And....the icing on the cake....we would take her shopping for shoes and clothes and actually give good advice!

:blink:

I need have a meeting with the "Queer Eye for a Straight Guy" -people.

Seriously, though... Partly, I agree. But I don't know where that excellent conversationlist -part of me is hiding... :shifty:

Or the magnificent lover, for that matter. To be fair, I have never tried...

20040825.png

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Oh crazy! I love Austrians!.

i'll analyze this sentence just for you:

Oh crazy! I love Austrians!.

for our poor americans: Austrians != Australians

Austrians = the most awesome creatures in the world!

so: Oh crazy! I love the most awesome creatures in the world!.

crazy = lovely Baldur's Gate 2! Let's play all night long!

Oh lovely Baldur's Gate 2! Let's play all night long! I love the most awesome creatures in the world!

Baldur's Gate 2 = Ryam BaCo on drugs

Oh lovely Ryam BaCo on drugs! Let's play all night long! I love the most awesome creatures in the world!

drugs = his girlfriend and not me (ohwjljasdf how sexist...)

Oh lovely Ryam BaCo on his girlfriend and not me! Let's play all night long! I love the most awesome creatures in the world!

awesome = attractive, cute, handsome, nice and awesome (not awesome on the left side - an another awesome, of course!)

Oh lovely Ryam BaCo on his girlfriend and not me! Let's play all night long! I love the most attractive, cute, handsome, nice and awesome creatures in the world!

creatures = Ryam BaCo

Oh lovely Ryam BaCo on his girlfriend and not me! Let's play all night long! I love the most attractive, cute, handsome, nice and awesome Ryam BaCo in the world!

the most = the

in the world! = !

Oh lovely Ryam BaCo on his girlfriend and not me! Let's play all night long! I love the attractive, cute, handsome, nice and awesome Ryam BaCo!

now...justify that:

Oh lovely Ryam BaCo on his girlfriend and not me! Let's play all night long! I love the attractive, cute, handsome, nice and awesome Ryam BaCo!

and...my dear gay friends:

[...] because we understand the woman.

hahahahahaha! no one does. not even woman.

and now...i beg your pardon, but now i have to play neverwinter nights. all night long.

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Ruse, how 'bout we go shopping, eh? We'll do the gaming shops first, then grab the Concorde and fly to San Francisco. There are some great shops up Grant Street, and over in Haight Ash. I know some friends who can recommend some raves to go dance, I want to see you move in rythm. Unless, of course, you'd rather stay in our hotel room, we can order an Xbox, a PS2, and a 'Cube and send out for pizza and white wine (real pizza, from Naples, not from Domino's). And later we can make mad passionate love on the rooftop of the hotel, we'll sneek up in our bathrobes. But if you're too tired you can fall asleep in my arms and I'll be in heaven....

Okay, I think everybody will agree that Trepstud deserves first prize. He's won a secret Sega Megaprize!

I would make out with her...

AT THE PROM

Even though you live just like, down the road from me, and I wouldn't even have to pay for postage and stamps.... you win NOTHING. Unless you want me to send you some shredded up cork flags? I'll even piss on them first.

I'd, like, take you over to Double Fine and introduce you to Tim.

Chris wins my Signed Math Homework.

Marek wins ... Uh, Signed Geography Homework.

I assure you that my homework is of the highest standard, with pretty celtic designs bordering the pages and happy doodlings, as well as the correct date and secret notes scribbled on the back. All done on the finest quality A4 lined college standard paper.

They used to lug coal for us ordinary gentlepeople...

Kingzjester wins whatever game he wishes from that list.

Whine whine whine blah blah whine look at me I'm a nazi blah blah blah Nazi colonies in America blah blah blah I hate freedom and love and puppies.

Nazi Chris wins NOTHING. Because he CHEATS on his GIRLFRIEND.

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I'd take you to SF, and after dinner, I would deliver a hit to your head with a club and you'd fall unconcious and I'd catch you by the hair and drag you into my cave on the beach.

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Okay, I think everybody will agree that Trepstud deserves first prize. He's won a secret Sega Megaprize!
Hey, it took him twelve posts. Twelve posts! I needed just one! My success rate is 100%, whereas Trep's is a mere 8,33%.

Marek wins ... Uh, Signed Geography Homework.
WOOHOO!

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But if we're going to go by that logic, then technically, American Chris wins because he had one simple line that incorporated everything you took a lot more sentences to say. "I'd, like, take you over to Double Fine and introduce you to Tim" is basically a condensed version of everything you said.

The Geography Homework is really cool. I think you're going to like it a lot.

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Man am I glad I came in on this too late.

P.S. This isn't fair because Yufster has fantasies about corrupting gay men anyway.

But if I WERE to have to seduce Yufster, I'd use the same trick I use on all of the girls who instantly fall for me. It involves a hat and a come hither smile.

CamPic171.jpg

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I would go up to a statue of a naked guy and grab his stone penis with one hand whilst simutaniously winking at the camera. Apparently she likes that stuff.

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I would go up to a statue of a naked guy and grab his stone penis with one hand whilst simutaniously winking at the camera. Apparently she likes that stuff.

Ha ha ha, yeah! That was the best picture EVER!!!

Until, on closer inspection, I realized it wasn't quite a stone penis on a naked guy, but in fact a pretty ordinary fence. But still...

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Hah, except that "ordinary fence" was actually the last remaing segment of the Berlin Wall. Not interesting at all!

I'll try and dig out a recent Gabzo photo for the ugly mug thread sometime. ;-*

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Yeah, that darned Berlin Wall! Looks exactly like a stone penis, what?

I forget the precise details, I just remember being highly disappointed it wasn't a penis.

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