The Holocaust (of flies, though)

[Salka]

It's like the Holocaust of the fucking flies in my room right now. I don't know where they came from or why they are all in little dead piles, like sugar loaves, all over my window sill. God, it's a massacre; piles and piles of little black bodies, with the occasional wearily waggling leg or faint buzz. Here and there, scattered throughout the dead, lies the odd wasp or too, a vibrant contrast to the tiny, dark flies. And then, of course, where there are flies there will be spiders, but they have joined the victims and are now almost invisible against the backdrop of death, their tiny hair-legs curled up over their abdomens, death-like.

I can still taste the fresh blood and flyspray in the air. Who did this? Where did they find all these flies and wasps? Were the flies trying to have a party when this happened, that they'd all gathered into a single point in my room? Or did somebody empty a bucket of dead flies, covered in fly-killer, in my room for safekeeping, or to pick up later, or whatever?

I don't get it?

[Chris]

Yeah, that was me. Sorry.

[Salka]

Finally got around to cleaning out your stash of porno, eh?

UPDATE: One fly has started to wash his face, weakly, with his last remaining threads of life. I want to get a little flannel and wipe his mouth for him, except that I'd probably just end up crushing his upper body.

I've got to get rid of them eventually. I can't just leave them lying there until they rot away into bones and then the bones turn in to dust and I breath in the dust at night through my mouth while I'm sleeping. But I can't vacuum the little bastards up either, because some of them aren't quite dead yet. And what if the ones that were still alive clambered over the bodies of their fallen brothers in the vacuum and crawl out of the hosepipe like a million little soldiers seeking revenge, and crawl all over me while I'm asleep, regurgitating and then eating their vomit all over my face? That's pure nightmare material. And yet, I'm not going to hold a separate funeral for each and every one.

I could sweep them up and throw them outside the window, like a little snow-cloud full of dead flies. But they'd probably embed themselves in the flower beds underneath my windows and grow into wild, uncontrollable fly-trees or something.

I am at loss. There seems to be no way of winning. Perhaps I should research the enemy?

[toblix]

I'd set them on fire. It doesn't leave evidence, and it shows them who's boss.

[Salka]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. This is off topic, but... I was just about to post a relevant reply when I noticed where the fourth arm/hand is on my Baby Schafer avatar. That was completely unintentional, and is actually gross. Nobody wants to see Baby Schafer being touched in that way.

[Roderick]

I read in the newspaper the other day that there is actually a small machine in production that can capture flies, digest them and process their remains to produce energy. That article sent shivers down my spine. Killing flies isn't something that I care about that much, but this is just a little too reminiscent of The Matrix for comfort. But I'm pretty conservative on that matter.

[OftenK]

Ugh, you should see the flies around here. For some reason, this year we've got all this little tiny flies that fly in these huge, dark columns. The columns are so thick they look like plumes of smoke. It's disgusting. But when they die, it's even worse, because they all go to the same spot and just drop. It looks like someone took a 40lb bag of couscous and dumped it on the ground. You can actually smell their little fly bodies rotting, there's so many.

[Ryam BaCo]

rear frogs.

--> 4 advantages:

1) the frogs will eat all the insects

2) you could teach them how to talk and earn millions of €€€€€ out of budweiser spots

3) the frogs will tell you everything about the weather (right after you taught them how to talk) and you'll earn millions of €€€€€€€€€€€€€€ because of your prognoses

4) when the frogs are dead you could sell them to restaurants and earn millions of €€€€€€€€€€ or sell their organs to sick frogs of rich people (i'm pretty sure that all celebrities will have frogs as pets in a few years) to save their lives and earn millions of €€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€ or get millions of €€€€€€€€€€€€€€€ from the frog's life assurance.

[MrHoatzin]

rear frogs.

NO THANKS! Sodomy is where I draw the line.

[manny_c44]

This thread is great!

Just be careful that there aren't any dead flies in your pocket when you try to teleport yourself...we all know what kind of B-Movie craziness could ensue.

[Intrepid Homoludens]

It's like the Holocaust of the fucking flies in my room right now....

Somebody's been reading too much Kafka again.

[Ryam BaCo]

Somebody's been reading too much Kafka again.

i ask this question maybe because i don't know much books of kafka:

when did kafka write about flies?

i just remember him writing about bugs in...hmmm...the metamorphosis (? - i don't know the english title of the book)

[ptdc]

Nah, this is more like Lord of the Flies.

[Skinkie]

Secret:

I am the Lord of the Flies

[ptdc]

More like the lord of the dance.