Nick Breckon

Crusader Kings II: The Triumph of Ragnar

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It may not have made a difference other than for shock value, which admittedly would have been pretty funny. The Aztecs invaded in my most recent game and while they took over the Iberian Peninsula, Africa, France and a chunk of the HRE, they never made it up to Ireland or England before their empire started to fall apart and France started to re-form.

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Kildare

February 10th, 1093

 

"Our daughter will arrive, soon. I feel her stirring."

 

"I am overjoyed, awaiting her arrival. What shall we name her?"

 

"She will be born in an incredible time. Our country is close to being united. Gardeners can become mayor, and fraternize with the King!"

 

"It is true, my love. I feel that she can be anything. Maybe they will speak of her. Maybe she will marry into royalty."

 

"But that is too lofty a goal for a lowborn!"

 

"Perhaps, but I feel that we can dream. Let us name her after your mother."

 

(softly touches her belly)

 

"My darling Dub Dil, I cannot wait to hold you in my arms."

 

 

June 23rd, 1114

 

"Mother? Father! The fire consumes our house! Oh, God, why have you done this? We must leave immediately!"

 

"Where is Bub Dil? Where is your brother?"

 

"Father, he must be in the house with Mother!"

 

"I am going in after him."

 

"Father, no, please!"

 

"Father!"

 

(house consumed by fire)

 

June 24th, 1114

 

"How can I go on living, when my world has been taken from me?"

 

(dies)

 

San Francisco

July 28th, 2013

 

zryOxMC.jpg

 

"Dub Dil has died."

 

"Ha! It's just Dub Dil. That's it. Dub Dil. Dub Dil has Died. Dead Dub Dil"

 

"Doggone Dead Dub Dil, Deba deb deb dub dil"

 

...

 

"That's Dub Dil! The least important person on the entire island has died."

 

...

 

"There are probably dogs that are more famous in this country."

 

"Well, there probably are. Our dog. Glory to me, and my dog."

 

(click)

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I always thought this CK2 story would make for some entertaining overwrought fan fiction, but I never considered what would happen if the kings in the stories just said whatever Chris and Nick were saying at the time. A masterstroke, a poignant tale. :tup:

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Kildare

February 10th, 1093

 

"Our daughter will arrive, soon. I feel her stirring."

 

"I am overjoyed, awaiting her arrival. What shall we name her?"

 

"She will be born in an incredible time. Our country is close to being united. Gardeners can become mayor, and fraternize with the King!"

 

"It is true, my love. I feel that she can be anything. Maybe they will speak of her. Maybe she will marry into royalty."

 

"But that is too lofty a goal for a lowborn!"

 

"Perhaps, but I feel that we can dream. Let us name her after your mother."

 

(softly touches her belly)

 

"My darling Dub Dil, I cannot wait to hold you in my arms."

 

 

June 23rd, 1114

 

"Mother? Father! The fire consumes our house! Oh, God, why have you done this? We must leave immediately!"

 

"Where is Bub Dil? Where is your brother?"

 

"Father, he must be in the house with Mother!"

 

"I am going in after him."

 

"Father, no, please!"

 

"Father!"

 

(house consumed by fire)

 

June 24th, 1114

 

"How can I go on living, when my world has been taken from me?"

 

(dies)

 

San Francisco

July 28th, 2013

 

zryOxMC.jpg

 

"Dub Dil has died."

 

"Ha! It's just Dub Dil. That's it. Dub Dil. Dub Dil has Died. Dead Dub Dil"

 

"Doggone Dead Dub Dil, Deba deb deb dub dil"

 

...

 

"That's Dub Dil! The least important person on the entire island has died."

 

...

 

"There are probably dogs that are more famous in this country."

 

"Well, there probably are. Our dog. Glory to me, and my dog."

 

(click)

That was amazing. Well done. Just...wow. 

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I was really hoping Ireland would inherit Hungary and go mad with power, but the Irish Civil War followed by an outburst of kin-slaying was good too! :tup: Hopefully Genius Baby's uncanny diplomacy skills will be enough to cover the blood on his hands.

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Someone should write "Seizing a Kingdom through Marriage for Dummies" guide to Nick and Chris. I want to see them succeed in their ridiculous improvised plots for once.

 

I'm equally lost with that aspect of the game to be honest. Although, I am the king of Genoa now for some reason.

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Someone should write "Seizing a Kingdom through Marriage for Dummies" guide to Nick and Chris. I want to see them succeed in their ridiculous improvised plots for once.

 

It's really not that hard. Top title claims last two generations, so the easiest way to gain control of a kingdom is:

 

1) Marry your son to the daughter of target king

2) Son inherits your kingdom when you die, wife inherits claim to target's kingdom when he dies

3) Grandson inherits both your kingdom and her claim when son and wife die

4) Kill everyone in target kingdom until a child or a woman is on the throne

5) Press grandson's claim

6) ?????

7) Profit

 

The thing is, it takes a long time to pull off and the Thumbs more like to let things just happen. The game supports both playstyles, of course, but Nick was losing his mind waiting ten years for a claim to be fabricated in Wales, I can't imagine him waiting fifty for his grandson to have a chance at Scotland.

 

 

EDIT: Oh god, I just finished the stream. For some petty revenge on a video game character, Nick threw away a chance to rebuild his kingdom from the ground up after the revolt. And he became a kinslayer to boot! This game is the best/worst.

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Sometimes though you just have to ride your luck and see where it takes you. My entire current game spans from deciding I wanted to try and create a dynasty for Ragnar, completely screwing up the marriage i gave him before taking control of the character then spending years just letting things happen while trying to rectify my early mistake.

 

1090: Sean I Vannaman of the petty Kingdom of Ulster makes a decision that will reverberate down the years, 61 year old courtier Ragnar & his 17 year old sister Jaquelline Rodkine are joined in matrilineal marriage.

 

1092:Ragnar is elevated to the nobility and becomes the count of Desmond. Something changes in Ragnar at this point, until now he had been content with his lot, but now...

now he must have it all!

 

1098:King Sean I at age 31 of dies of “natural causes” he is outlived by his two children

 

1099:Sean's Son & Heir Faelan dies aged 2 in mysterious circumstances, the killer is never found. His young daughter Eua inherits the kingdom. For reasons that no one quite understands she accepts a betrothal offer to Alv Ragnarson, a infertile inbred.

 

1101: Although fond of her & the six children they have raised Ragnar divorces Jaquelline, he searches for a new bride finally deciding on Rannevig a lustful & attractive woman.

 

1103: Ragnar successfully fights Earl Steven Gaynor for a claim to the county or Ormond.

 

1104: Hope Ulfhide is born to Ragnar he now has a legitimate successor to his bloodline. He is 74

 

1106: Jaquelline plots to murder Hope, Ragnar locks her in the dungeon. She will spend the rest of her life there.

 

1111: Having stressfully fabricated claims on 2 counties and broadened his power base Ragnar is now ready.

He declares war on Eua, before the end of the year he becomes King of the Petty Kingdom of Munster.

 

2nd May 1123: At the age of 94(!) Ragnar after having expanded the borders of Munster significantly finally achieves a long dreamt of aim. He changes the succession laws to Ultimogenture. Hope is now his legitimate heir.

 

26th of May 1123: Ragnar Dies. Hope is crowned Queen.

 

All the hideous fuck-ups I made earlier made that end result (which was basically a 1,000,000 to 1 chance) all the more amazing.

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EDIT: Oh god, I just finished the stream. For some petty revenge on a video game character, Nick threw away a chance to rebuild his kingdom from the ground up after the revolt. And he became a kinslayer to boot! This game is the best/worst.

As an idiot layman, I'm both frustrated by and frightened of Nick's sudden impulsive outbursts (which are also undoubtedly hilarious), but I find myself a little at a loss as to the supposedly disastrous implications from time to time. In this instance, what would "rebuilding his Kingdom from the ground up" entail? Redistribution of power among the vassals? Free reign to reorganise (dead wood, new blood, getting in more skilled and loyal people and so on)? Would it have leas to a more stable or potent Ireland? Or something else? To the unexperienced eye (e.g. mine; presumably Nick's), actions that gain territory have obvious value, while things that don't (or only contribute to land acquisition in the long term) rapidly become abstract and hard to judge the value of.

The thing is, it takes a long time to pull off and the Thumbs more like to let things just happen. The game supports both playstyles, of course, but Nick was losing his mind waiting ten years for a claim to be fabricated in Wales, I can't imagine him waiting fifty for his grandson to have a chance at Scotland.

It looked like there was a window when they were willing to play the long game with those two heirs they'd set up in continental houses, provided they could continue to make more dramatic short-term plays while they waited for those opportunities to develop, but those heirs' unfortunate demises have probably soured them somewhat on making such longterm investments. Then again, perhaps not. As long as they can keep marrying kids off, they can wage war on Britain in the meantime.

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As an idiot layman, I'm both frustrated by and frightened of Nick's sudden impulsive outbursts (which are also undoubtedly hilarious), but I find myself a little at a loss as to the supposedly disastrous implications from time to time. In this instance, what would "rebuilding his Kingdom from the ground up" entail? Redistribution of power among the vassals? Free reign to reorganise (dead wood, new blood, getting in more skilled and loyal people and so on)? Would it have leas to a more stable or potent Ireland? Or something else? To the unexperienced eye (e.g. mine; presumably Nick's), actions that gain territory have obvious value, while things that don't (or only contribute to land acquisition in the long term) rapidly become abstract and hard to judge the value of.

 

Yeah, Crusader Kings II is a funny game, because it's all about people, except that people die, so it's really more about the land people hold.

 

That said, every single vassal revolted during the big civil war that Nick won, giving him one free revoke for each. He could have revoked the duchy of Ulster, breaking up the hostile power bloc that makes up one third of his kingdom, then given it back to someone else. He could then have handed out the two Welsh ducal titles, since the Welsh counts controlled by Ulster would be his direct vassals again. And he could have revoked the counties of Desmond and Ossory, given someone else the county of Kildare, and transferred it to the duke of Tara. That way, he'd hold only two ducal titles himself (the maximum before maluses start applying to vassal opinion), be the strongest & most popular lord in Ireland again, and have punished all his enemies with disenfranchisement.

 

By executing the duke of Ulster, he just kicked the problem down a generation. The duchy is still too powerful and the Thumbs can't keep its rulers happy.

 

It looked like there was a window when they were willing to play the long game with those two heirs they'd set up in continental houses, provided they could continue to make more dramatic short-term plays while they waited for those opportunities to develop, but those heirs' unfortunate demises have probably soured them somewhat on making such longterm investments. Then again, perhaps not. As long as they can keep marrying kids off, they can wage war on Britain in the meantime.

 

Come on, the untimely death of a long-awaited heir is Crusader Kings II's grenade-rolling-down-a-hill moment. I sure hope they buck up, playing a mix of short-term claims fabrication and long-term marriage claims is where the game hits its stride. Even just marrying collateral heirs to the children of Scottish dukes would be good (matrilineally, if you're marrying your daughter to them), since members of your dynasty become your vassal when you press their claim.

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the untimely death of a long-awaited heir is Crusader Kings II's grenade-rolling-down-a-hill moment

 

Imagining a Far Cry 2 where, when your grenade rolls down the hill and kills your buddy, all of their guns and syringes and assault vehicles are inherited by a shy Irish baby with a knack for diplomacy and a deep hatred of you personally. (Or would it be that when *you* die, you take control of such a baby?)

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Good news, there's a CK2 patch coming next week! Automatic plot invites, and the ability to easily see who can be won over through bribes! And also what I feel like will be an extremely important piece of DLC for the stream: http://forum.paradoxplaza.com/forum/showthread.php?706296-Crusader-Kings-II-Patch-1.11-and-Customizer-Dev-Diary

 

You can finally create the Vanaman dynasty!

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Good news, there's a CK2 patch coming next week! Automatic plot invites, and the ability to easily see who can be won over through bribes!

 

Yesssss. It's been so long, but at last! Automatic "end plot" requests, too. If they ever implement rally points for levies, they'll have added every usability feature I've wanted since the beginning.

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Good news, there's a CK2 patch coming next week! Automatic plot invites, and the ability to easily see who can be won over through bribes! And also what I feel like will be an extremely important piece of DLC for the stream: http://forum.paradoxplaza.com/forum/showthread.php?706296-Crusader-Kings-II-Patch-1.11-and-Customizer-Dev-Diary

 

You can finally create the Vanaman dynasty!

 

Oh god, you can rename vassal's titles..............

I'm not sure what nick & chris will end up doing with this but i know it will probably end with me laughing my socks off

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Can we get an IdleThumbs shirt with Chris's face on it that says "That's Bonkers!" I feel like that is his catch phrase, hah. Long time thumbs listener and i finally signed up for an account because of the CK2 stream, really awesome stuff. One of my favorite pieces of video game content since Giant Bomb's Endurance Run. 

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Really enjoyed this pod. Inspired I took advantage of a fortuitous Steam sale and snapped up a copy of CKII as well as the DLC for a tidy sum and then proceeded to plough several hours into it. The learning curve is absurdly steep and I've been through a few dry run getting familiar with the mechanics, coupled with watching copious amounts of youtube videos, but I'm really loving it for the intimacy of the scheming and long term planning that it requires, coupled with the inherent uncertainties as to events that can arise that are largely beyond your control such as typhoid epidemics, or the death of an ally.  

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The Europa Universalis IV demo is out on Steam, which I think may be of interest to people in this thread.

 

http://store.steampowered.com/app/236850/

 

I've been playing Paradox games intensively for eight years now and can make Crusader Kings II sing like a harp, but man if jumping right into playing Austria wasn't a huge fuck-you to all that knowledge and experience. I guess it's nice that the demo includes full-featured tutorials. Time to start over from scratch, again.

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I've been stumbling around through a bunch of restarts. The extent of strategic knowledge I've actually accrued boils down to this:

1) how to minmax the ruler creator/customizer

2) if you're saving up money to do something, save up enough money to do that thing PLUS enough for the second cheapest tier of mercenaries (and some duration of upkeep)

because:

a) you never know when someone is going to mess with you and require you to call in mercs

B) sometimes the ENTIRE cheapest tier of mercs will be on jobs for other parties ( "oh I'm fine, I'll just bring in some mercs. I can afford those...wait no I can't." )

 

so yeah, I'm pretty bad at this game.

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I've been stumbling around through a bunch of restarts. The extent of strategic knowledge I've actually accrued boils down to this:

1) how to minmax the ruler creator/customizer

2) if you're saving up money to do something, save up enough money to do that thing PLUS enough for the second cheapest tier of mercenaries (and some duration of upkeep)

because:

a) you never know when someone is going to mess with you and require you to call in mercs

B) sometimes the ENTIRE cheapest tier of mercs will be on jobs for other parties ( "oh I'm fine, I'll just bring in some mercs. I can afford those...wait no I can't." )

 

so yeah, I'm pretty bad at this game.

 

I really really think it'd be good if everyone interested in playing a learning game were to join one big multiplayer game as rulers not likely to come into conflict with each other. That way, the game chat could be a live help thread, because everyone could look at everyone else's stuff.

 

In fact, I'm going to post this in the Multiplayer Networking subforum.

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Can we get an IdleThumbs shirt with Chris's face on it that says "That's Bonkers!" I feel like that is his catch phrase, hah. Long time thumbs listener and i finally signed up for an account because of the CK2 stream, really awesome stuff. One of my favorite pieces of video game content since Giant Bomb's Endurance Run. 

 

Or more recently, Chris "Glory to Me" Remo. Also I would loooove a twitch emote of Chris' face, preferably this one.

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I've been playing Paradox games intensively for eight years now and can make Crusader Kings II sing like a harp, but man if jumping right into playing Austria wasn't a huge fuck-you to all that knowledge and experience. I guess it's nice that the demo includes full-featured tutorials. Time to start over from scratch, again.

 

I downloaded The Europa Universalis IV demo yesterday thinking that I'll do just fine now that I had finally got the hang of Crusader Kings II. 

 

Needless to say, I had absolutely no idea what was going on.

 

I'm still looking forward to testing it properly, though. After the incredibly steep learning curve of the first few hours or so, Crusader Kings II stops being overwhelming all of a sudden. I hope this is the case with Europa Universalis as well.

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I'm still looking forward to testing it properly, though. After the incredibly steep learning curve of the first few hours or so, Crusader Kings II stops being overwhelming all of a sudden. I hope this is the case with Europa Universalis as well.

 

I just spent six hours in the demo and really hit my stride. I'll post my thoughts in the strategy game forum.

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