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QUILTBAG Thread of Flagrant Homoeroticism

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Well, it's done, everyone who needed to be told has been told.  Her older sister ended up being a real badass about it after a couple of conversations, not just open and supportive, but excited to learn that there's components, and even a secret life, about her sister that she has the opportunity to learn about now.  Younger sister was supportive.  Her parents are in radio silent mode now, we'll see how that plays out. Told my parents as well, who were totally fine. 

 

No matter how it plays out with her parents, she still feels a huge relief to just be done, that she doesn't have to worry about screwing up and accidentally saying or posting something that will make people start wondering or asking questions. 

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An open letter of resignation from Pride Toronto's former Trans Pride Team Lead. There's a fair bit of conjecture, but the claims are pretty damning about how Pride Toronto has ignored the needs of trans folk, people of colour and other marginalized groups in favour of pursuing an image more palatable to corporate sponsorship. A worthwhile read.

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An open letter of resignation from Pride Toronto's former Trans Pride Team Lead. There's a fair bit of conjecture, but the claims are pretty damning about how Pride Toronto has ignored the needs of trans folk, people of colour and other marginalized groups in favour of pursuing an image more palatable to corporate sponsorship. A worthwhile read.

 

That seems to be a thing this year, there were a lot of disgruntled people in St. Louis about this year's pride, both in how trans people and people of color were treated, and I know in how the police and corporate sponsors were favored over actual members of the community. 

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An open letter of resignation from Pride Toronto's former Trans Pride Team Lead. There's a fair bit of conjecture, but the claims are pretty damning about how Pride Toronto has ignored the needs of trans folk, people of colour and other marginalized groups in favour of pursuing an image more palatable to corporate sponsorship. A worthwhile read.

This is a huge problem in queer spaces throughout the West. LGBTQ+ spaces have turned more into G spaces, maybe with a little L, a bit of "I guess B is probably somewhere in this crowd, ugh" and that's it. And the spaces in general are geared toward the most commodified queer experience -- that of the drag loving, Cosmo drinking, Rihanna fan searching for their one and only,etc. The stereotypical gay with a six pack wearing a Speedo at the beach in Tel Aviv, and those who want to be them.

That letter makes a lot of great and generalizable points, basically.

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That seems to be a thing this year, there were a lot of disgruntled people in St. Louis about this year's pride, both in how trans people and people of color were treated, and I know in how the police and corporate sponsors were favored over actual members of the community. 

 

I definitely had this experience. I was driving downtown, just after the Supreme Court decision about marriage, and had to have a long conversation with my friends to figure out that it was not just some corporate rally but a warm-up event for Pride, so much did the tents and banners for banks and telecom companies outnumber the fucking rainbows.

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I feel like most of that piece is pretty terrible at nailing a point and there's only two parts that actually say anything - the part about oppression olympics and the part at the end about social justice conversations. But I also don't think the biphobia piece was saying anything moreso that a smarter person could see how ignorant it was and jump off from it (which Mattie did here). That being said, it still hurts. 

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Making the rounds in the news, Ellen Page confronted Ted Cruz about religion boot-stomping on LGBT rights. And Cruz's answers are as shitty and predictable as you can get.

http://www.salon.com/2015/08/21/an_oblivious_ted_cruz_straightsplains_to_ellen_page_about_christians_being_persecuted_by_the_lgbtq_community_in_the_us/

 

Texas Senator and GOP presidential candidate Ted Cruz was interrupted from his very important grilling duties at the Iowa State Fair by someone he clearly didn’t recognize as Oscar-nominated actress Ellen Page, who asked him questions about what constitutes “persecution” in America today.

Page began by asking how he felt about “LGBTQ people being fired for being gay or trans,” and Cruz responded that “what we’re really seeing now is Bible-believing Christians being persecuted.”

“Yes,” Page replied, “for discriminating against gay and lesbian people.”

“No,” Cruz said, “for living according to their faith.” He proceeded to rattle off the woeful tale of Dick and Betty Odgaard, who were fined for refusing to allow a same-sex couple to host their wedding in couple’s church/bistro/flower shop/wedding venue. Page offered that people made very similar arguments “during the segregation era,” but Cruz shut her down, saying “I’m happy to answer your question, but we’re not going to have a back and forth debate.”

As a large man in overalls leered over his shoulder, seemingly concerned about the hamburgers the senator wasn’t flipping while talking about politics, Cruz compared the plight of “Bible-believing Christians” to “a Jewish rabbi forced to perform a Christian wedding,” or “a Muslim imam forced to perform a Jewish one.”

“We are a country,” he continued, “that respects pluralism and diversity, and there is a liberal intolerance that says that anyone who dares follow a biblical teaching of marriage must be persecuted, must be fined, must be driven out of business.”

Page pointed out that it was once illegal to be gay or lesbian in many states, a fact with which Cruz seemed unfamiliar. “Where was it illegal to be gay?” he asked, before realizing an opportunity to pivot had arisen, and that it was time to trot out tired GOP talking points about Iran and ISIS’s treatment of gays and lesbians — the suggestion being that LGBTQ people have it so much better here, so they should be grateful and shut up.

Which is, of course, exactly what Page refused to do, pointing out that it’s American Christians like Scott Lively who are responsible for the “Kill the Gays” legislation in Uganda. Cruz responded by talking about Jamaica, then circling back to Iran and ISIS and asking her why she’s not hectoring Obama about that.

“I’d love to talk to Obama about that,” Page said.

“Then we agree,” Cruz replied, before turning away.

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And according to people at the arraignment, Department of Homeland Security officials practically outnumbered lawyers in the courtroom. This is exactly what we need DHS doing -- needlessly pushing marginalized people further into the margins of society. Thanks for protecting me from people who are just trying to make a living, federal law enforcement alphabet soup!

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It's bisexual visibility day! Hello there!

I tried explaining bisexual but homoromantic the other day and "but you've only ever had BOYfriends" hahahahahahahahahasob I will probably just keep saying gay most of the time

But hello!

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Hello!  Maybe, well, hello no matter what, but maybe on hellooooooo. 

 

I've actually been thinking about having some sexy fun times with another guy lately.  I've never thought of myself as bi, mostly because I have no romantic attraction/interest in other men, but have been curious what being with a guy would be like  Of course, I'm also of the opinion that it's worth trying most anything at least twice (because you can't always trust first impressions).  I think I've got a dude who's into me (but knows that I'm straight identified in a committed, but open, hetero relationship, so wouldn't be leading him on to hit on him).  So maybe, one of these days. Kinda scares me though, which is weird, given all the shit that I've done in my life. 

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I tried explaining bisexual but homoromantic the other day and "but you've only ever had BOYfriends" hahahahahahahahahasob I will probably just keep saying gay most of the time

But hello!

 

My partner had a more lucid series of thoughts on the subject than I'd be able to produce.  I like the "What do you mean you're not vegan, you always get salad!" analogy. 

 

Bjorn: Having that curiosity is totally cool and exploring it is too, even if the decision you come to is "Yeah, not for me." Just make sure it's a situation where you're very comfortable with the other person and aware of their needs and feelings, so they never feel that you're just using them for an experiment.

 

Don't feel bad about it being scary. Going into something like that without knowing your reaction can be scary, because there's so much potential for social awkwardness. I was scared the first time I made out with a girl, I was equally scared four years later the first time I made out with a guy.

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Kia Ora!

Have been in that boat where sometimes it's less intensive to simply say 'gay' and for a while my partner's #1 fear was him being left for something he didn't have. But hey I'm pretty sure both of those things are in the past now.

Though I occasionally hear "you've been with this dude for five years, just say yer gay already".

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Hey!

 

I didn't think I had any interest in guys beyond forming crushes until I practically tripped and fell into a relationship with one. Now I'm back in a straight relationship and it's sometimes weird to think back on it. I still identify with the feelings I had at the time, but it's hard to see that as the same person I am now as opposed to another "version" of me. I'm not really sure what the cause of this is. I definitely had to work through some feelings at the outset, but I was never really ashamed of it, and everyone I knew was super cool about it. Mostly it was just a matter of getting used to the power dynamic in the relationship since he was very confident and self-centered and I was not.

 

Anyway as a formerly straight, now technically-bi-but-hetero-leaning guy, I can totally recommend sex with a dude as long as it's safe, mutual, and he's clear on your feelings going in. Just don't push yourself to do anything that feels uncomfortable. Even just kissing and touching is pretty rad.

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Bisexual week is always fun for me, lightly laid over the whole "but I'm visibly in a het relationship and what does that mean, especially because I'm a woman" feelings. On top of the bedrock of "why do I keep saying bisexual when pansexual is what people consider to be the 'better' ID" nonsense.

 

But still, it was nice to see so many other bisexual people on Twitter this week. :)

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The lady posted publicly on Facebook about being bi this week, the first time she's ever done that.  She's been out to friends for years, and came out to some family over the summer (which did not go well, and is still weird).  But, within an hour of making that post, another family member privately messaged her and thanked her for coming out, because they've been to afraid to.  That made her feel better about the bullshit that she's dealt with, knowing that hopefully she's laying the groundwork for other people in the family to come out over time since they won't be the only ones now. 

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Anyone know Davey Wavey? Yes? No? Either way, he had some awesome things to say regarding dudes getting all scared about a pink iPhone cover:

 

Edit - Oh language warning.

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Hello!  Maybe, well, hello no matter what, but maybe on hellooooooo. 

 

I've actually been thinking about having some sexy fun times with another guy lately.

 

I'm kinda in a similar place. Sometimes I meet guys that I think are cute or attractive or have weird crushes on for a while, but I've never really worked out how far my interest goes since 1) I can rarely work up the nerves to flirt even when I'm not second-guessing my interest and 2) it seems unfair to drag somebody else into me figuring stuff out. But now both of my current partners have somehow individually broached the topic of moresomes and I'm going back and forth between thinking that might be a good way to experiment and freaking out because it's much more real than just quietly admiring cute guy friends.

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This is a silly little thing, but it'd be nice to post it here.
 
Here in Ireland, the current government posted its annual budget today that lays out various changes in welfare and tax and so on. The department of finance used a same sex couple to illustrate the point:

CRM7zt-WUAAQKZt.jpg

https://twitter.com/IRLDeptFinance/status/653932131702448128

 

Considering the historic vote earlier this year to make same sex marriage legal in Ireland, it's nice to see it actually taking effect in other capacities.

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Vincent Price's daughter on his bisexuality...

 

"In a funny way, and I think I'm going to cry, he understood me at 22 better than I understood myself then," Price concluded. "Of course, he was in his 70s and lived a hell of a lot longer than I had and he understood that at the end of the day it's about who and what and how we love. And I have not been a person who has been very successful at conventional relationships, but loving well and loving deeply has been the most important thing to me."

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