Weird Medical Shit

[ysbreker]

I think I have you all beat in the scar department.

[dibs]

This is becoming the thread where we all find out the weird medical shit we don't normally talk about is actually perfectly normal medical shit.

My motto for going to the doctor is 'He's seen worse'. I decided on that for my motto after watching a graphic diagnosis of a prolapsed bladder on TV one day. Thak you Embarrassing Bodies:(

[Ben X]

I think I have you all beat in the scar department.

 

[ysbreker]

1) Scar behind my left ear due to several operations trying to fix my hearing when I was 6-8 years old.

2) Scar down the middle of my chest where they cracked me open for my heart surgery.

3) Two small scars on my midriff where the draining tubes were for my heart surgery.

4) Scar on my stomach where they opened me up for some emergency surgery on my intestines when I was about 1 year old

5) Scar on my right pinky from when I sat to close to someone doing woodwork when I was around 13 years old.

[subbes]

Most of my scars were self-inflicted.  (EMBARRASSED SMILEY.)

[Twig]

I have a scar on my upper lip because when I was a small child boy, a bigger small child boy pushed me down an icy hill and I smacked my face on the pavement. It suddenly strikes me as amazing that SOMEHOW my enormous nose (it's p big) avoided damage.

 

It also suddenly strikes me that the bigger small child boy didn't even get in trouble for it. Huh.

[Ucantalas]

I have a scar on my knee from when I was in kindergarten. The whole class went on a walk (for some reason? I don't remember) and I was lagging behind, so I ran to catch up. It should be known that the sidewalks in the area were absolutely terrible, little more than large chunks of cement rubble lining the sides of the road. So I tripped, went down hard, scraped off the skin on both knees and elbows. Only one knee has a scar, lucky me.

(Also I once hit my head on the side of a pool and had to have stitches, so for all I know there is a scar there, but its completely covered by my massive amounts of hair, I guess.)

[Apelsin]

When I was I kid I always liked to run with my hands in my pockets.

My mother was not a fan, in fact I think she thought it was a very stupid thing to do.

Turns out she was right.

 

One summer day we were on the Swedish island called Marstrand. As we were leaving I ran over the cobblestone streets, my hands securely stuffed down the pockets of my shorts. Suddenly the sole of my sandal caught a cobblestone edge and I fell face first into the street.

 

I find myself looking out through the window of our car as we are driving into a parking lot in front of a squat grey building. Then I'm lying on my back with some people standing over me. One of them, the doctor, takes what looks like a scalpel to my forehead. He starts to scratch with it and I hear the sound of metal on rock.

 

I still have a slight indentation in my forehead from the small rock that embedded itself there, serving as a constant reminder that mother is always right. (Mother's day in Sweden tomorrow)

[Ben X]

I have a little curved scar on my thumb from working in Burger King and scooping the tops out of tomatoes, an arrowhead shaped scar on my forehead from play-fighting with my sister and accidentally headbutting a square bedpost, and a great long purple scar just above my junk from my hernia operation.

 

I sneeze when I'm cold, which due to cartoons I thought was standard but have since been told by at least one person that it's weird.

[Dosed]

Scars fascinate me but every thing else in this thread has grossed me the fuck out. So I'll just list my scars because I don't feel comfortable sharing my multitudes of stories about shitting my pants. 

 

1. Tiny scar on my right hand middle finger where I fell through a roof and a piece of tile went through my finger chipping the bone off the end. 

2. Small scar on my right thigh where I fell out of a tree and a stick went into my leg. 

3. Another small scar on my face where I clawed my face as a baby and the scar kind of grew a long with me. 

4. Various different sized scars on my shins from skating when I was younger.

[Hermie]

I have a little curved scar on my thumb from working in Burger King and scooping the tops out of tomatoes

Oh man, I feel ya, that little scooping tool is the worst.

[Joewintergreen]

Yesterday I pulled something bizarre out of my belly button. 

 

You know, on second thought I'd rather not talk about it...

[Sententia]

You're ok lacabra, it's a safe space here.  If you said you pulled out a half-eaten rotten scrap of flesh that you forgot you stored in there for later, I wouldn't even vomit.  much.

[tegan]

[Brannigan]

Nah it's okay, turned out it was this instead.

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view7/2690771/space-balls-alien-dance-o.gif

[Roderick]

I just returned from jaw surgery. My face is numbed from lip to earlobe. It was an interesting experience. I had to have a small leftover inflammation removed from the roots of a molar. I had local anaesthesia, so regrettably no fun laughing gas. As always, you expect it to be quite an ordeal, but once you're in the chair, it's just all so bizarre and interesting that you have zero time to freak out. Now I'm cooling my face with a bottle of coke.

 

Really, I'm a lot more miffed that during the X-rays, they found yet another inflammation on the other side, that the dentist apparently missed. So I've got another root canal treatment to look forward to. It's about time this funny business stops.

[jmbossy]

Aside from a disappointing penis, the most annoying part of my body was the now removed gallbladder which despite decent blood tests produced unexplainable gall-stones which were actually really small. I initially thought their being small was a good thing; Nope. They were able to travel down some tubes and shred the inside of my pancreas (which, as you would expect, hurt like a motherf***er). After having to schedule the surgery (btw, I was 18 at the time) I told my mother who said calmly, "Oh right, I had to get my gallbladder out when I was young to."
"...What?"
"Yea, every one in my family did."

Thanks mom, thanks...

[Colourful Stuff]

Aside from a disappointing penis...

How does your penis disappoint you? Does it constantly fail to live to its potential, skip rent and tell inappropriate jokes?

[Ucantalas]

How does your penis disappoint you? Does it constantly fail to live to its potential, skip rent and tell inappropriate jokes?

Mine just gets horrible motion sickness.

[Zeusthecat]

Mine just gets horrible motion sickness.

 

Oh man, that was good! I never type these dreaded fucking letters but seriously LOL!

[Colourful Stuff]

Wow, powerful sexual imagery!

[Ucantalas]

Wow, powerful sexual imagery!

I aim to please.      

...can I also just take a moment to mention how much I love the variety of emoticons on this forum?

[jmbossy]

How else can we show emotion on the internet? Thank you Idle Thumbs; For letting me imply over 100 emotions I couldn't begin to explain in real life.

   
 

exactly.

[Gormongous]

A couple nights ago I noticed that the seams in the crown of one molar are kinda dark. I would pay serious money for it not to be a cavity, even though I probably need at least one filling redone...

[jmbossy]

I got my caps redone 3 months ago, it was a relatively painless experience. Also drugs... lots of drugs.