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Zeusthecat

I Had A Random Thought...

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I've taken to whizzing sitting down because I got tired of always having to clean drips off the rim. Best thing I ever did. Now I do all my home pissing sitting down, it's fantastic, I get to have a little rest and i can check my phone.

This is now a thread about your pissing habits

 

Amazing. But doesn't your whizz's impact spray all over your buttcheeks?

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Not yet, I must be blessed with a gentle flow

 

I feel i should elaborate further on why i 'took the plunge' as it were and committed to the seated piss

 

Two reasons. Firstly, i'm quite a tall gentleman (6"5 same height as Greg Rusedski) and i live in a house with sloppy roof walls, the upstairs is half in the roof if you get what i mean. so i have a diagonal window in my face and have to semi limbo to assume the standing position at my piss pot, and this is why i always get piss drips on the rim, no matter how deep i limbo there's always dripage, its very frustrating. Its all about the angles!

 

Secondly, we purchased a glittery disco ball style toilet seat and upon fitting i discovered who ever installed the toilet put the cistern really far forward, so the new toilet seat doesn't really rest properly when in the up position. its a precarious balancing act with a 50% chance of the seat slamming back down mid tiddle (Should've went for soft close, oh how i kick myself)

 

You can now see how heavily the odds were stacked against me

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Every week I go into a small room with two or three other guys and have stupid conversations about video games. We record the whole thing on computers and then we post it on the internet

 

I've often hypothesized about an alternate universe Idle Thumbs. In the alternate timeline, you never played Far Cry Instincts, thus never ruining your TV speakers, which allowed you to fully experience the Ultrasonic Effect, which drove you mad. The current alternate universe Idle Thumbs consist of Nick "Congrats Nick" Breckon, Sean "Bandanaman" Vanaman, and Patrick "Scoops" Klepek.

 

I often wonder how many people are like me, and pretend to force push/pull elevator doors open when they're alone.

 

I don't even really like Star Wars, and I still do it.

 

I've never done it with elevator doors, but I always pretend to be Magneto when I'm alone with automatic doors. Also, sometimes I give my shopping cart a little push and let it roll along in front of me while I walk behind, putting one hand on my temple and extending the other in front of me.

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I've never done it with elevator doors, but I always pretend to be Magneto when I'm alone with automatic doors. Also, sometimes I give my shopping cart a little push and let it roll along in front of me while I walk behind, putting one hand on my temple and extending the other in front of me.

I used to pretend to be Spider-man and web swing down aisles, roads, hallways, pretty much any straight path that had things I could web. I also used to open doors by hadoukening them open with my palms.

I sometimes wonder if everyone sees colors the same way. For example, when I see blue, others see red or orange or purple or whatever, but we all call it blue and to them that is just what blue looks like. But if I could somehow swap eyes or brains with them for a second, the world would be totally different. Then I start wondering the same about sounds and other things, which eventually leads me into an existential crisis that I usually resolve by turning my brain off and shooting video game dudes in the face.

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(I guess my secret power is responding to the last post on the previous page as if it were the most recent post in the entire thread)

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The fact that you cannot go into a Subway and ask for a turkey sandwich without being asked in return how a turkey sandwich is made makes me madder than it should be.

 

I think it's safe to say without hyperbole that this is literally the worst thing in the world. Plus I always feel really self-conscious about how few toppings I want. There's a whole salad bar of crap you can put on your sandwich but all I ever want is like, meat and cheese and maybe tomatoes, and I can tell they're always looking down their noses at me when that's all I order. Well then just standardize your damn sandwiches and let me take it or leave it if you don't like the way I order it!

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I sometimes wonder if everyone sees colors the same way. For example, when I see blue, others see red or orange or purple or whatever, but we all call it blue and to them that is just what blue looks like. But if I could somehow swap eyes or brains with them for a second, the world would be totally different. Then I start wondering the same about sounds and other things, which eventually leads me into an existential crisis that I usually resolve by turning my brain off and shooting video game dudes in the face.

 

Dude, I think about this all the time. I have a specific reason for it though: My eyes actually perceive colours very slightly differently from one another, one gives things a slight yellow tint and the other gives thing a slight cyan tint. It's hardly noticeable, but I've always wondered which one is seeing things "correctly," or if both are completely incorrect, and if so how incorrect, and blaaaaagh

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Dude, I think about this all the time. I have a specific reason for it though: My eyes actually perceive colours very slightly differently from one another, one gives things a slight yellow tint and the other gives thing a slight cyan tint. It's hardly noticeable, but I've always wondered which one is seeing things "correctly," or if both are completely incorrect, and if so how incorrect, and blaaaaagh

Luckily philosophers have been thinking about this for hundreds of years, so rest assured, if this sort of thing drove people too insane, there would be a sort of canary in the coal mine effect. The philosophers would go nutty first.

Every week I go into a small room with two or three other guys and have stupid conversations about video games. We record the whole thing on computers and then we post it on the internet

This sounds really interesting; do you have a link to it?

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Dude, I think about this all the time. I have a specific reason for it though: My eyes actually perceive colours very slightly differently from one another, one gives things a slight yellow tint and the other gives thing a slight cyan tint. It's hardly noticeable, but I've always wondered which one is seeing things "correctly," or if both are completely incorrect, and if so how incorrect, and blaaaaagh

 

You should start painting: http://www.itsokaytobesmart.com/post/21331669591/claude-monet-ultraviolet-eye

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I want Judd Apatow to make a sequel to 40 Year Old Virgin called '6000 Year Old Virgin' starring God. I can just imagine the hilarious hijinks as Paul Rudd and Seth Rogen teach God how to hit on chicks and he'd be under all this pressure to bust his first nut but then he would meet the girl (or guy) of his dreams and have to pretend he wasn't a virgin so as not to come off all weird like. But in the end he finally gets laid and it ends up being really good for the girl (or guy) because he's fucking God and he doesn't need practice to be good at it. Also, I'm going to hell.

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I think it's safe to say without hyperbole that this is literally the worst thing in the world. Plus I always feel really self-conscious about how few toppings I want. There's a whole salad bar of crap you can put on your sandwich but all I ever want is like, meat and cheese and maybe tomatoes, and I can tell they're always looking down their noses at me when that's all I order. Well then just standardize your damn sandwiches and let me take it or leave it if you don't like the way I order it!

I used to work as a Subway employee for a couple of years in highschool. I wish there was a standard for each sandwich, it would cause so much less confusion. People arent always clear what they want, some people take forever deciding... it can be a real mess.

But the biggest pain? The "Subway Melt". In commercials, always shown toasted with nice melted cheese... In reality, only melty if you want it toasted. I cannot believe how much grief I have gotten from that.

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I only ever get tuna, lettuce, and mayo. I don't know why I bother, because the tuna is always super dry and the mayo is always clumped into one part of the sandwich and is either in far too great a quantity or far too little.

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I sometimes wonder if everyone sees colors the same way. For example, when I see blue, others see red or orange or purple or whatever, but we all call it blue and to them that is just what blue looks like. But if I could somehow swap eyes or brains with them for a second, the world would be totally different. Then I start wondering the same about sounds and other things, which eventually leads me into an existential crisis that I usually resolve by turning my brain off and shooting video game dudes in the face.

 

I sometimes wonder if I'm the only living thing in the universe and that everything else I perceive to be living is really just an elaborate hoax my brain has created.

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I feel i should elaborate further on why i 'took the plunge' as it were and committed to the seated piss

Let me just say, regardless of reasons, I applaud your decision.

 

 

I've never done it with elevator doors, but I always pretend to be Magneto when I'm alone with automatic doors. Also, sometimes I give my shopping cart a little push and let it roll along in front of me while I walk behind, putting one hand on my temple and extending the other in front of me.

For a while I didn't even care whether I was alone or not. It is nice to read about other people doing crap like that, since usually all you get is eyerolling and shaking heads. Some people never experience the beautiful rush of delusion.

 

 

I sometimes wonder if I'm the only living thing in the universe and that everything else I perceive to be living is really just an elaborate hoax my brain has created.

This can also be a lot of fun, when you wonder, if someone else is the only living thing in the universe and everything else, yourself included, is just an elaborate hoax of that dude's brain. It's also the point when you realize it doesn't even change all that much, which is kind of weird.

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Re: colors, there was a Radiolab a=episode about how some people actually have more rods and/or cones (I forget which does which or whatever I AIN'T NO BIOLOGIST!!), and so perceive color at a wider range than normal humans. Apparently it's more common in women. (Like how color-blindness is more common in men. Thankfully, I avoided that particular curse from my father's genes!) Also, I guess there's a scientific process through which it's possible to actually increase the number of rods/cones?

 

I dream about science enhancing my BODY PARTS on a daily basis.

 

like my wang

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Re: colors, there was a Radiolab a=episode about how some people actually have more rods and/or cones (I forget which does which or whatever I AIN'T NO BIOLOGIST!!), and so perceive color at a wider range than normal humans. Apparently it's more common in women. (Like how color-blindness is more common in men. Thankfully, I avoided that particular curse from my father's genes!) Also, I guess there's a scientific process through which it's possible to actually increase the number of rods/cones?

 

I can't listen to the episode right now, but did they mean that these people can see in a wider wavelength range (i.e. in UV and near-IR), or that they actually have more than three types of cone cells in their retina, in which case their color vision could indeed be quite fascinating? The episode description seems completely nonsensical to me: "...and we track down a woman who we're pretty sure can see thousands (maybe even millions) more colors than the rest of us."

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I take it to mean she can distinguish between many more visual frequencies than the rest of us. So if blue has a 495nm wavelength most of us probably see all wavelengths in that range as blue while she may be able to pick out all of the miniscule shades of blue inside that range.

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Yeah I would think it means that colors are more vivid so the difference between shades is bigger, but there's not going to suddenly be another color between green and blue that no one noticed.

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I AIN'T NO BIOLOGIST!

 

The episode happened a long time ago. I'm speaking on vague memories. I remember one lady describing the sky as sort of reddish, even during high noon. Maybe specifically around cloud edges?

 

They also talked about the mantis shrimp in that episode. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mantis_shrimp#Eyes

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The secret best thing about living in Canada is seeing all the French titles for movies (that, in my experience, no French person has ever used). We used to make a game out of seeing who could find the most hilariously awkward ones when I worked at Blockbuster. Here's some favourites:

 

"The Teeth of the Deep"

Jaws. This was my friend's favourite.

"The Eighth Passenger is an Alien"

Alien. Note that in French, it's still written as "Alien," not "Extraterrestre," thus making the rest of the title completely pointless.

"Brother Christmas"

Fred Claus. I like this one because it's a much better title, and make a pun in both English and French.

"Is There A Pilot on the Plane?"

Airplane!

"The Strange Christmas of Mr. Jack"

The Nightmare Before Christmas. This one's my favourite.

 

 

Also fun: We would take two movie titles, mash them together, and then come up with a premise for them.

 

"An eleven-year old kid is left at home while his family goes on vacation and must rig hilarious booby traps and pratfalls to protect the house from Lovecraftian abominations from beyond the stars."

Home Alone in the Dark

"A pair of plucky children help a homeless man win on a gameshow, on the condition that he donate half the proceeds to their makeshift animal shelter."

Hotel for Slumdog Millionaires

"A rowdy frathouse band together to protect their toga party from a horde of bloodthirsty zombies"

Animal House of the Dead

"Two estranged killer cyborgs from the future travel back in time to learn about life, love, and laughter."

Terminators of Endearment

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The secret best thing about living in Canada is seeing all the French titles for movies (that, in my experience, no French person has ever used). We used to make a game out of seeing who could find the most hilariously awkward ones when I worked at Blockbuster. Here's some favourites:

 

"The Teeth of the Deep"

Jaws. This was my friend's favourite.

"The Eighth Passenger is an Alien"

Alien. Note that in French, it's still written as "Alien," not "Extraterrestre," thus making the rest of the title completely pointless.

"Brother Christmas"

Fred Claus. I like this one because it's a much better title, and make a pun in both English and French.

"Is There A Pilot on the Plane?"

Airplane!

"The Strange Christmas of Mr. Jack"

The Nightmare Before Christmas. This one's my favourite.

 

 

Also fun: We would take two movie titles, mash them together, and then come up with a premise for them.

 

"An eleven-year old kid is left at home while his family goes on vacation and must rig hilarious booby traps and pratfalls to protect the house from Lovecraftian abominations from beyond the stars."

Home Alone in the Dark

"A pair of plucky children help a homeless man win on a gameshow, on the condition that he donate half the proceeds to their makeshift animal shelter."

Hotel for Slumdog Millionaires

"A rowdy frathouse band together to protect their toga party from a horde of bloodthirsty zombies"

Animal House of the Dead

"Two estranged killer cyborgs from the future travel back in time to learn about life, love, and laughter."

Terminators of Endearment

 

My favourite from working at HMV was always "Mom! I missed the plane!"

 

Home Alone

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A few years ago I was in China and at the time, they were selling bootleg movies out in the open (they have since cracked down on it).  I remember reading the descriptions (in Engrish) of the movies and they were hilariously bad, although some of them made the movie sound better or described a movie I would rather see.  Sadly, I can't remember any of them specifically.

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Yeah I would think it means that colors are more vivid so the difference between shades is bigger, but there's not going to suddenly be another color between green and blue that no one noticed.

 

The discussion was about a fourth type of cone cells, actually. Unfortunately, their experiment only proved that interior designers and painters can perceive smaller color differences than ordinary humans (which is, of course, well known already). Then there was something vague about seeing some red in the blue sky.

 

Interesting mutation, though. 

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