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Game writing: the best of the worst

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Playing a video game boasting the kind of writing you'd find in an eighth grader's notebook? Post it here.

Here's something from Resonance of Fate, which I swear to David Cage is an actual video game that someone was paid in real money to supply this dialogue for:

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Post some of your favourites.

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Resonance of Fate: an awesome, awesome game. You could also probably populate this thread with terrible cutscenes from just that one game, somebody really went the extra mile, heh.

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There are much worse instances of writing in the DMC games, particularly any time it tries to be dramatically serious, but these amusing and self-aware nonsequiturs are way more entertaining.

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Diablo 3 excels here, especially with the introduction of the Skeleton King.

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I'm playing Game of Thrones for review right now. I wish I wasn't. The writing is abysmal, bland stereotypical fantasy at best. The voice acting is lifeless, dull at those times when it isn't actively at cross purposes with the storytelling, such as it is.

If I find any amusing sections I'll see if they're up on YouTube, but honestly so far it's just kind of boringly and embarrassingly bad rather than entertainingly bad.

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oh my god i want to play resonance of fate now

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Capcom gets a lot of shit for the first few Resident Evil games, but those don't have anything on their PS1 MMX games.

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oh my god i want to play resonance of fate now

It is a very awesome game, i would encourage just about anybody to give it a chance. The tone is completely silly throughout, and it's built around just absolutely the coolest combat system i've ever seen in a JRPG.

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Playing a video game boasting the kind of writing you'd find in an eighth grader's notebook? Post it here.

Here's something from Resonance of Fate, which I swear to David Cage is an actual video game that someone was paid in real money to supply this dialogue for:

tVibNKrp8sQ

Post some of your favourites.

Is the male lead the same guy from NMH?

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Is the male lead the same guy from NMH?

No, but thanks to you and a Wikipedia search I now know that Travis Touchdown and the TF2 Medic are voiced by the same guy.

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Diablo 3 excels here, especially with the introduction of the Skeleton King.

Holy shit, that was exactly the thing I wanted to put here. I haven't played D3 much further than that point, but my jaw dropped at that terrible bit of heinous, overblown, completely unrealistic exposition.

Blizzard usually works its way quite well through the bowels of cliche and pulpiness. Starcraft II I thought was written pretty slickly, knowingly. D3 on the other hand seems to be all over the map. It's like it was written by the three little piggies: one a decent writer, one moderately OK, and the janitor.

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Ladies and Gentlemen, The Mansion of Hidden Souls (Saturn version).

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That's all I've got. It's worth the whole 6 minutes.

That's just... awful in so many ways. I can't even begin to enumerate them. I did laugh out loud several times, though.

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It's Nolan North.

It's only natural that you would recognize his voice, he's pretty much everybody in everything.

Sometimes multiple characters in a single game.

(I don't think the list on that Wikipedia page is even complete!)

That sounds nothing like him! To be fair, neither does Brewmaster, so the guy has a job for a reason, I suppose. Other than being a cool guy.

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These videos that your posting are showing up as just random strings of letters and numbers for me. Am I the only one having this problem? What am i missing?

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These videos that your posting are showing up as just random strings of letters and numbers for me. Am I the only one having this problem? What am i missing?

You can still watch the video by copying the random string and putting http://www.youtube.com/watch?v= in front of it.

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Techu on PS1 will always hold a special place in my heart... mainly for its baaaad dialog.

Me and my chums still quote this level opening cutscene to this day:

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More a function of the voice acting than the writing itself, but Far Cry 1 has some hilariously awful dialogue in its cutscenes that I remember quite fondly.

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Playing a video game boasting the kind of writing you'd find in an eighth grader's notebook? Post it here.

I can count on my fingers the number of games that don't fall into that category.

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Prince of Qin (this Chinese developed Diablo clone) is hilarious. It's combination of voice acting, translation, and writing makes it hard to pin the blame on just one of them, but, yeah, it's like they used google translate and then had one guy do different voices for all the parts (including the female ones). Enjoy:

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:clap:

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I take it you guys have seen these? This guy is great.

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There's two more you can find in the related videos. Now bear my arctic blast!

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