toblix

We Dare

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My stomach tried to strangle my brain at the mental image of Jeff Gerstman spanking Brad Shoemaker. I stopped there before trying to think of any other possibilities. I'm going to go cry in a corner.

There is video of Brad forcing himself on Vinny. Violently.

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There needs to be a Dead Islandifier - which runs YouTube videos backwards in slow motion with occasional intense moments of discordant noise and violent action. Even without it, this is the most disturbing trailer I've seen. More than Dead Island. More than Dead Space 2. More than Kirby's Unexpected Bereavement.

Weirdly, the sudden static at the end with the multiple choice endings does feel like the bit where the marine's helmet camera cuts suddenly to static when they are killed by an alien, introducing an unexpected survival horror element to proceeedings.

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I didn't realize until now that another messed up part about this was the fact that it's TWO couples trying to get into "the mood" at the same time!:eek:

That and there's nothing like watching two girls eat an apple on their knees simultaneously!

Apparently this also involves hitting the apple with your forehead multiple times as both girls demonstrated.

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That and there's nothing like watching two girls eat an apple on their knees simultaneously!

Apparently this also involves hitting the apple with your forehead multiple times as both girls demonstrated.

That was the weirdest part for me, I must say. Since when is eating a dangling apple sexy? When would you ever eat a dangling apple anyway? And most importantly, who thought eating a dangling apple was something that could be accurately simulated by the Wii?

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That was the weirdest part for me, I must say. Since when is eating a dangling apple sexy? When would you ever eat a dangling apple anyway? And most importantly, who thought eating a dangling apple was something that could be accurately simulated by the Wii?

The Wii graphics and how different they are from what the video is protraying continuously make me think of Costume Quest.

costume-quest-apple-bobbing.jpg

Then I just feel all dirty inside.

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Exchange between my boss and I ran something like this:

"I imagine the location they interview testers at looking like a 70s fuck pad"

"Oh don't. Now I'm imagining fat white male testers 'roleplaying'".

"Bend over Gabe!"

"Stop it"

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Finally a game that can rape me through a ghost hole.

I think this will sadly be successful, just from all the people buying it for parody purposes and videos to upload for hilarity on YouTube.

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Man, I was so psyched to make a Dare Island mash-up, then found out someone made it minutes later. 3:

At the very least, here's the great Amazon product description:

We dare you to join in with this funny and flirty game, full of sexy characters, daring mini-games and internationally popular music hits, such as “Sex Bomb”, “Time of My Life”, “Lady Marmalade” and many more.

Provocative Controls

Use the Wii-mote and PS3 Move controller in unbelievable ways, as you’ve never imagined before…wave it around to the beat of your favourite tunes, old and new…put it in your pocket and act-out flirtatious actions...balance it to navigate precarious challenges...sometimes co-operative hugging helps, and it certainly doesn’t hurt. Enjoy the unique gameplay designed for the use of these motion controllers exclusively for We Dare.

And there’s more! You can also use your Wii Balance Board for additional gameplay based on pure body mass...are you the lightest one in the group? Perhaps shedding some clothes will even the playing field...it’ll definitely make the party more interesting!

A Customised and Enticing Experience

Create and customise your own cheeky avatar, from top to bottom. Personalise him or her to fit your taste, to match your likeness or to be the person you’ve always wanted to be. Are you a Femme Fatale? A Hunk? The Girl next Door?

Create the game to your liking. Choose the length of play and the size of your group... in this game, size does matter...the bigger the group, the better the fun and anything goes! Get up-close and personal with your friends with the wide variety of naughty and silly challenges. Use your brain...or just pure luck if you have to...to answer pop-trivia questions and ultimately out-perform your playmates while proving you’re flexible, uninhibited and adventurous.

This is an invitation to let yourself go, because life is short and what happens in this game... stays in the game!

And a satisfying finish

The final climax of the game ends in a light hearted, match-making session. Which of your friends is your best match for Love or Friendship? How you play, how you answer questions, how well you perform, and finally, how you chose to create your avatar, will ultimately determine your perfect match.

Key Features

A wide and varied range of over 35 fun and flirtatious mini-games:

Select the mood of your party

Dance along to your favourite tunes

Challenge your mates to a racy strip-tease

Act out saucy suggestions that you hear through the Wii-mote speakers

Play with up to 4 friends on Wii and 2 on PS3 Move

We Dare presents an hilarious light-hearted atmosphere with clever characters, coy mini-games and internationally popular music hits: such as Sex Bomb (as made popular by Tom Jones), Time of My Life (in the style of Dirty Dancing) and many others!

Now. Are you ready to play?

I may have to do a dramatic reading on the next podcast we record.

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Only Wii and PS3? So systems that couldn't be fooled into thinking you're doing the acts by ACTUALLY doing the acts? No Kinect spanking then I guess.

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I was checking the upcoming dates for Wii games because of Okamiden (which just got a demo released, I'm playing it as I'm writing this!) and I was surprised to find that this piece of crap game has been out since 11th February and yesterday there was some news somewhere, maybe Eurogamer that reported this We Dare will not come out in US at all and apparently the official video has been region locked to Europe in Youtube?

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Does it even matter that it won't be on sale in the US? I don't remember that well, but I could swear RapeLay wasn't for sale in the US and yet it still got attacked by the US media, although that game probably deserves it.

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I don't know if you guys bothered going through the access code videos at the end, but if you follow access code 6969 (Har har har) you get this:

E9ZYbwyaiH4

Somebody please kill me.

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I don't know if you guys bothered going through the access code videos at the end, but if you follow access code 6969 (Har har har) you get this:

E9ZYbwyaiH4

Somebody please kill me.

You mean the video I posted here?

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Does it even matter that it won't be on sale in the US? I don't remember that well, but I could swear RapeLay wasn't for sale in the US and yet it still got attacked by the US media, although that game probably deserves it.

I don't think this is working out exactly the same way RapeLay did.

Possibly We Dare was never scheduled for a US release, but I'm getting the feeling Ubisoft has become too humiliated to DARE to put it out here. Is anyone else getting this feeling?

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Maybe, but isn't America more conservative when it comes to sexual content? Maybe it was Nintendo of America who said they don't want this game coming out in the US? They do have the power to do that, right?

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If We Dare is about sex then:

A) Yes, it is extremely scary

B) I've been doing it wrong for years

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