Unnecessary Comical Picture Thread

[dibs]

That is pretty ignorant Nachimir.

 

Ms. Eisenhower writes: "I have endless thoughts and ideas, action plans and solutions and can link our ancient history, wisdom, divine blueprints and evolution into present time - knowing that a golden future is a result of us being able to harness our creative power and our highest potential through a deeper and more intimate knowledge of our roots and the hidden aspects of truth that are out there.

 

You aren't as powerful as Ms. Eisenhower (great granddaughter of the president) and you never will be with that attitude.

 

 

[Nachimir]

I can't tell if you're joking or not. These people are exploitative kooks, remnants from things that actively did harm, like the Esalen Institute and people who tried to cure psychopaths.

 

I was once a very militant atheist, until I met street pastors who did genuinely good work, and then Christians, Muslims and Ba'hais who were far more compassionate than judgmental. There are a lot of religious people I respect, but not these new age lunatics. For me they're in the same category as NLP practitioners that work with mentally ill and vulnerable people.

 

Also, my piss taking of the Dolphins and Teleportation people directly referenced beliefs they themselves were espousing. If they really believed in what they were selling for $1500 a pop, they'd have had serious answers for me.

[Griddlelol]

The thing I'm most curious about, is whether these people actually believe in the shit they're selling. 

[dibs]

If i could time travel, i would go back and add a [joke] tag to that post Nachimir, but i don't believe in dolphins.

[Nachimir]

Heh

 

Griddle: I, *cough*, have some experience with cults. Some of them genuinely believe in what they're doing and espousing, and can become bizarrely self sustaining as a result, long after the founders are dead. Some are just straight up exploitation by charismatic people, usually for sex or/and money. It can be really hard to tell which are which from the outside though.

[Griddlelol]

I did come across a woman once who offered Reike (?) foot massages - you know, where the masseuse doesn't make contact with the subject.

When I called her out on it, she said something along the lines of "If people'll pay for it, I don't care if it works." Certainly not cult level, but still rather disingenuous. This isn't the right thread, but, it's not just the lowly self employed masseuse that does this stuf: the NHS's support of crazy "medical" practices never ceases to amaze me.

[Merus]

Reiki.

 

Honestly the 'hey, if they're going to be suckers I might as well make money of it' is cult-like behaviour; there's plenty of people in cults who see through the hoo-ey and figure they'll go along with it. They might see through the hoo-ey, but they haven't seen through the con, which is to keep them participating and reinforcing the specialness of the cult. It's remarkably like being called over to play Three-Card Monte by a street conman; the only winning move is to never get involved in the first place.

 

I understand the NHS's support of bullshit alternative therapies comes from Ol' Bigears, who will one day be King of Australia and mark my words on that day someone will table a motion for Australia to become a republic.

[Griddlelol]

 

Ol' Bigears

Lol. Yeah, some of it is. I think his main focus is on homeopathy.

[elmuerte]

ugh... homeopathy.

[chummer]

After me having an animated monologue in my sleep, my girlfriend looked into apps that record sleep-talking to find out what the hell I was saying. One of the apps had this review:

 

Death takes part in all our ends, friend. 0/5- did not find this review helpful.

[MrHoatzin]

Speaking of cults and homeopathy, here's some choice ads from Alex Jones's Infowars as mentioned in the Ferguson thread. All the ads are pretty much the same as these...

 

 

 

 

 

 

... proving once again that you can't be a right-wing (?) blowhard in this country without also being a petty grifter.

[chummer]

Speaking of cults and homeopathy, here's some choice ads from Alex Jones's Infowars as mentioned in the Ferguson thread. All the ads are pretty much the same as these...

 

Damn it. That 'Wake Up America!' coffee had me laughing for a good while. What a dumb pun.

[Ucantalas]

I hate that I love those things.

Hear me out. I'm not some crazy apocalypse prepper. But I love seeing what is sold to those people. I love hearing about things like that "Survival Seed Vault". I love hearing about why these gizmos and gadgets will supposedly help me survive. "Why do I need Modifilan Pure Brown Seaweed Extract?", "What is in a bottle of Survival Shield?" It's all fascinating to me, looking at and reading and hearing about all these... well, toys, I guess, in a sense.

Super Male Vitality - only the most important thing you will ever need in a survival situation.

[MrHoatzin]

I kno, rite!? Gotta stock up on that iodine!

 

All the articles are super infuriating, but the ads more than make up for them.

[Gormongous]

I admired the belt buckles until I realized they were inscribed with the words of the Spartan king Leonidas at Thermopylae: "Come and get it." Ugh, it's all crazy!

[MrHoatzin]

I admired the belt buckles until I realized they were inscribed with the words of the Spartan king Leonidas at Thermopylae: "Come and get it." Ugh, it's all crazy!

 

Right! With the helmet and the crossed M16s and everything!

[Gormongous]

Right! With the helmet and the crossed M16s and everything!

 

Actually, it's kind of perfect that the Spartans (possibly one of the most brutal, repressive, and fascist polities in human history) has become a symbol for both Tea Party and libertarian conceptions of freedom just because, at one point, the rest of the Greek city-states convinced the Spartans to take a stand against a (polyglot, multicultural, inclusive) empire for a few years. So yeah, wear those belt buckles and defend your right to beat your wives, murder your slaves, and force young men to serve in your military. I'll be laughing (and crying) over here.

[Bjorn]

I hate that I love those things.

Hear me out. I'm not some crazy apocalypse prepper. But I love seeing what is sold to those people. I love hearing about things like that "Survival Seed Vault". I love hearing about why these gizmos and gadgets will supposedly help me survive. "Why do I need Modifilan Pure Brown Seaweed Extract?", "What is in a bottle of Survival Shield?" It's all fascinating to me, looking at and reading and hearing about all these... well, toys, I guess, in a sense.

Super Male Vitality - only the most important thing you will ever need in a survival situation.

 

I feel exactly the same way about it.  I also sometimes wonder just how easy it is to sell these people shit.  Like, would I really feel bad making a living selling useless things to batshit conspiracy theorists.  Then I try to imagine interacting with these people on a regular basis.

 

         

[Ucantalas]

Part of me sometimes wonders if I should just give up on trying to find a real job and instead start selling some kind of crazy does-nothing bullcrap.

...when I was a kid I wanted to be a Ghostbuster, maybe I should do that?

[Nachimir]

Right! With the helmet and the crossed M16s and everything!

 

It's like something from

! I hope it tinnily plays the same session metal from every wearer's crotch, like the blackest greetings card. It totally cracks me up that they sell a product named Super Male Vitality. 

 

 

I feel exactly the same way about it.  I also sometimes wonder just how easy it is to sell these people shit.  Like, would I really feel bad making a living selling useless things to batshit conspiracy theorists.  Then I try to imagine interacting with these people on a regular basis.

 

Having to do customer support for them is definitely the kicker, possibly also the risk that in selling bullshit, if you do it effectively you might start to believe the bullshit too. I think of money as a purely imaginary thing that gives us all permission to do stuff. It's arguable that getting potentially harmful people to give up some of their money is a moral good, but it ignores the conceptual reinforcement you'd be giving them and is far too close to "stupid people deserve what they get" and tabloids saying "we're just giving people what they want" for me to be comfortable arguing it at all. I'm pretty sure that in aggregate, I'd feel bad about it.

 

Every time someone asked me what I did and I told them, I'd look like a dog getting told off because it just farted.

[elmuerte]

Wait.. that infowars stuff is real? I thought it was a joke.

[Problem Machine]

I can't hear "Super Male Vitality" in anything other than the Super Meat Boy announcer voice in my head.

[Merus]

For me it starts off with 'Super Male' in the Meat Boy voice, then rapidly becomes the Mortal Kombat announcer for 'Vitality'.

[Apelsin]

Survival Shield sounds like a tonic out of Bioshock.

[miffy495]

Damn it. That 'Wake Up America!' coffee had me laughing for a good while. What a dumb pun.

 

My absolute favourite thing from the whole set. I love it so much. Way more clever than I was expecting out of all of that, and in among all the others it almost feels like it's taking the piss out of the whole thing.