[Blank] say the darndest things

[Garple]

This is a thread for quotes that amuse you, but are not intentionally amusing. This can be within games journalism, forum fanboy ranting, or I suppose, anything else.

This comes from PC Gamer:http://www.metacritic.com/games/platforms/pc/witcher

The Witcher is a fantastic RPG, and an amazing achievement for first-time Polish developer CD Projekt. [Jan 2008, p.82]

It's their first time being Polish.

Edited November 9, 2009 by GrouchoClub

[brkl]

I'd separate bad writing from bad grammar. Wouldn't know which one is more prevalent, though :/

[Chris]

Technically "first-time" and "Polish" are both just individual modifiers of "developer," but yeah it's an awkward order. I wouldn't really call it out as "bad writing" though so much as a typo or minor syntax gaffe.

[Garple]

Technically "first-time" and "Polish" are both just individual modifiers of "developer,"

I probably shouldn't have used the title "bad writing." What I really mean is unintentionally humorous writing. I didn't start this thread because I wanted specifically to attack people. I just saw the quote and found it funny. It's like the signs where I work that say, "Only disposable buckets are allowed to leave the kitchen," "Kitchen personnel only allowed in the kitchen" and "Teabags are welcome in compost." Also, I'm not claiming to have perfect grammar, by any means. This isn't about picking on people so much as it is recognizing that everybody makes mistakes and sometimes those mistakes are funny.

[Chris]

I probably shouldn't have used the title "bad writing." What I really mean is unintentionally humorous writing. I didn't start this thread because I wanted specifically to attack people. I just saw the quote and found it funny. It's like the signs where I work that say, "Only disposable buckets are allowed to leave the kitchen," "Kitchen personnel only allowed in the kitchen" and "Teabags are welcome in compost." Also, I'm not claiming to have perfect grammar, by any means. This isn't about picking on people so much as it is recognizing that everybody makes mistakes and sometimes those mistakes are funny.

Point taken. I only raised the issue because there are so many genuinely bad examples of writing both in video games and video game coverage.

[Garple]

Point taken. I only raised the issue because there are so many genuinely bad examples of writing both in video games and video game coverage.

Ain't that the truth. Sorry to be so defensive.

Another source of hilarity: The PR descriptions of Wii games:

This is for Pop 'n Music:

Choose from a variety of recorded sounds such as clapping or percussion sounds. Select from a total of 14 different characters and 6 unique stages. Use your Mii and show emotions such as laughing, crying, or being troubled. Assortment of licensed and original music to play with your friends!

[Roderick]

I hated that program, with a passion. Kids say the darndest things. And its feeble, retarded Dutch counterpart. Ugh!

Sorry, I have little to contribute to this thread ;

[Thyroid]

I'm not one to talk, since I've had my slip-ups. I do, at least, try to improve, and that's to avoid sentences like:

"To be certain, this is the ultimate hardcore game." - Gameshark on MGS4.

"As is evident from the name, Space Siege will take place in space." - Gamespot.

“The Video game industry has literally never had a year like 2007.” Next Gen

"The Most Boring Game of the Year: It’s addictive and absorbing - but unless you’re playing it, Demon’s Souls is staggeringly dull, says Chris Dahlen." Also Next Gen.

Finally, let us not forget this masterpiece.

Am I doing this right? I feel like I should be putting these in the IGN thread.

Edited November 9, 2009 by Kroms

[Garple]

Am I doing this right? I feel like I should be putting these in the IGN thread.

You're doing fine. I thought this was a little beyond the scope of the ign thread so... (I want to keep that thread pure).

[Nevsky]

Chance Glasco, an animator on Modern Warfare 2, at the UK Launch Party last night:

'On the multiplayer... we just expanded it, and injected it with steroids [crowd laughs] ...okay, we injected it with heroin!'

[Thyroid]

"Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 is the Citizen Kane of repeatedly shooting people in the face."

This is the beginning of an article that raises the bar on game writing, and only the third comparison of video games with Citizen Kane I've seen this week. None of them in The Onion.

Edited November 10, 2009 by Kroms

[ThunderPeel2001]

"Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 is the Citizen Kane of repeatedly shooting people in the face."

This is the beginning of an article that raises the bar on game writing, and only the third comparison of video games with Citizen Kane I've seen this week. None of them in The Onion.

Yeah, I think there's times like this when deliberate absurdity is lost on the reader. Charlie Brooker (I could tell it was him just from the quote) is akin to (and probably better than) Zero Punctuation.

[Thyroid]

Nah, I get it's intentionally like that. I wrote that a little hastily. I meant that it made me laugh in the sense that it parodies the whole "Citizen Kane" thing going on. Although, I did forget to cut-out the "raises the bar on game writing" bit. My original post was a lot more snarkey, but I thought it didn't work, cut it down, and forgot to erase some lines.

Basically, I get it.

[n0wak]

“The Video game industry has literally never had a year like 2007.” Next Gen

"The Most Boring Game of the Year: It’s addictive and absorbing - but unless you’re playing it, Demon’s Souls is staggeringly dull, says Chris Dahlen." Also Next Gen.

Nothing wrong with Dahlen's quote in the context of the article. I'm sure watching someone play Demon's Souls is quite the boring experience.

The first one though. Yeah.

[Thyroid]

Nothing wrong with Dahlen's quote in the context of the article. I'm sure watching someone play Demon's Souls is quite the boring experience.

Yeah. I understood what he meant right off the bat, but it was still a funny headline.

[Garple]

Yeah. I understood what he meant right off the bat, but it was still a funny headline.

Plus, it's funny when taken out of context...which is, I think, kind of the point of this thread.

[Thyroid]

These comments don't really count, I guess, but IGN's readers make the site look like Old Man Murray by comparison.

This too: "I truly believe that this is the greatest moment in American history." But I'll let it slide, since, compared to IGN, it's worthy of a Pulitzer. At least I didn't cringe.

Edited November 10, 2009 by Kroms

[Garple]

"Kenka Bancho's charm. The presentation, including the rarely-serious dialogue throughout, and the complete pisstake on the rougher side of Japanese youth culture, is too good not to miss."

1UP.com

[Ben X]

Charlie Brooker (I could tell it was him just from the quote) is akin to (and probably better than) Zero Punctuation.

Brooker's writing is much better, more accomplished and entertaining than that "professional troll" one-sided, one-joke, tired old rubbish.

[Thyroid]

I know it's translated, but the description of the video game sequel to Antichrist is: "It will be a self-therapeutic journey into your own darkest fears, and will break the boundaries of what you can and can't do in video games."

Self-therapeutic, eh?

[ThunderPeel2001]

Brooker's writing is much better, more accomplished and entertaining than that "professional troll" one-sided, one-joke, tired old rubbish.

YES!

(I just didn't want to say it.)

[MrHoatzin]

YES!

(I just didn't want to say it.)

To Yahtzee's defense, there is only so much you can do with cynical teenagery angst format he fell into. It does get old and it's not very constructive, but that is what everyone expects him to keep doing. Well, that wasn't much of a defense, I guess.

[Thyroid]

Didn't know that there was a thing such as a "perfect experience".

TIRED: Forced motion controls, imperfect single-player experience.

Wired's review of Super Mario Bros. Wii.

[ThunderPeel2001]

To Yahtzee's defense, there is only so much you can do with cynical teenagery angst format he fell into. It does get old and it's not very constructive, but that is what everyone expects him to keep doing. Well, that wasn't much of a defense, I guess.

You know things have gotten bad when somebody could easily lampoon him quite successfully.

[Thyroid]

"This is literally the most amazing news of the day." Full of nuggets.