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Roderick

The king is dead!

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From the original enquirer article:

FROM JANUARY 12, 2009: Michael Jackson is dying - and has only six months to live, pals fear.

Sadly, the desperately ill star is bedridden much of the time, and his electrifying stage performances are a thing of the past, reveal sources.

Incredible reports surfaced in late December that Jackson is battling a rare, deadly genetic disorder and requires a lung transplant. Although the singer denied the reports, The ENQUIRER was told by sources that his health is deteriorating rapidly because of a crippling addiction to painkillers and alcohol.

A source close to the star divulged: "It's tragic. His condition is just so far gone, I'd be surprised if he lasts six months.

"Painkillers and booze have caught up with him. The only way he was able to cope with the stress of sex scandals and his roller-coaster life was to mask the pain with substance abuse.

"But the end result is an addiction that will kill him."

King Bizarro's dependency on drugs "dates back to when his hair was burned making a Pepsi commercial," said the close source. Twenty-five years later, "the drugs simply have ravaged him."

Michael's in "really, really bad shape," claims the family friend. "He's been sick for six to eight months and he just keeps getting worse.

"His muscles and lungs are deteriorating, and he's bedridden much of the time. He can walk, but not for very long.

"On good days, Michael is able to take his kids to a bookstore. But he's never out for more than an hour. He has very little strength...It's ultimately in God's hands."

But a spokesman for Jackson vehemently denies the star is ill, saying: "Mr. Jackson is in fine health" and is in negotiations for a concert tour and TV projects.

"Michael's fighting for his life," the close source concluded. "And it doesn't look good."

Scrobbs... The only joke I can see in that image is "they all look the same"? :hmph: (Am I missing something or does that just make it offensive?)

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His name is also Michael J. Perhaps that's a joke.

I've been noticing a few people IN COMMENTS AND SUCH calling him "Michael Jacksons". Surely the man was famous enough for people to remember his name.

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His name is also Michael J. Perhaps that's a joke.

I've been noticing a few people IN COMMENTS AND SUCH calling him "Michael Jacksons". Surely the man was famous enough for people to remember his name.

The picture is of Tiger Woods I think.

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I guess you see in it what you want to see in it. I only saw silliness between mixing three different people up; thought it was one of the better gags that are around.

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The picture is of Tiger Woods I think.

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha oh christ, sorry.

AM NOT GOOD WITH SPORTSPEOPLE. But yes, that's obvious. The irony is excruciating.

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Lol, Scrobbs, that's EXACTLY what it was like when I was watching it live.

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha oh christ, sorry.

AM NOT GOOD WITH SPORTSPEOPLE. But yes, that's obvious. The irony is excruciating.

Oh I see... Is THAT what we're calling them now, eh? "Sportspeople". You disgust me.

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..and pretty much any kind of announcement that the beeb or any other news station have some poor geezer stood outside in the cold with nothing happening. Private Eye have been lampooning it for years with their "Going Live..." column. Is a really nice illustration of it though :)

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Michael Jackson died from a heart attack last night. That's... not surprising, but nonetheless quite sad! Smooth Criminal remains one of the best songs ever.

THE best song ever happens to be "I Want You Back" by the Jackson 5...so...score two for Michael.

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Ah I love the way Idle thumbs forum threads go:

Poster 1: I've made a statement

Poster 2: I strongly disagee

Poster 1: I'm flabbergasted that anyone could differ in oppinion!

In my head: Okay the shit is going to hit the fan

Poster 2: Well I do!

Poster 1: ... Fair Enough

Poster 3: Check this link. It is fucking genius and only loosely related to the original statement.

And then all is well again.

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...in stark contrast to the rest of the internet it seems. Which is very refreshing :)

GOOD LUCK FITTING UR XBAWKS THRU UR FRONT DOOR FAGGET LOL

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First !

I wanted to post DVNO to run the gag a little longer but I found this and it broke my heart when the death of Jackson in itself just went "oh well, gotta die some day man, legend or not"

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I'd basically forgotten about him, so he might as well have been dead for the past few years.

Aren't you attributing an awful lot of significance to yourself? ;)

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First !

I wanted to post DVNO to run the gag a little longer but I found this and it broke my heart when the death of Jackson in itself just went "oh well, gotta die some day man, legend or not"

C4VCUbL7jsc

is what I meant

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Aren't you attributing an awful lot of significance to yourself? ;)

I'm sure he'd understand.

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This is interesting:

We've learned Michael Jackson was not the biological father of any of his children. And Debbie Rowe is not the biological mother of the two kids she bore for Michael. All three children were conceived in vitro -- outside the womb.

Multiple sources deeply connected to the births tell us Michael was not the sperm donor for any of his kids. Debbie's eggs were not used. She was merely the surrogate, and paid well for her services in the births of Michael Jr. and Paris.

In the case of Prince Michael II (the youngest), we're told the surrogate was never told of the identity of the "receiving parent" -- Michael Jackson. Three days after Prince was born at Grossmont Hospital in San Diego County, Jackson's lawyer came to the hospital to pick the baby up and deliver him to Michael.

We do not know if Jackson chose the sperm or egg donors or if he even knew who they were.

Although Rowe is not the biological mother, it's not a slam dunk that she would lose a custody battle. This type of case has never been litigated in California courts. Since Rowe was married to Jackson when Michael Jr. and Paris were born, there's a presumption that she's the biological parent. That presumption can be rebutted by other evidence.

We know there are documents outlining the whole arrangement for the birth of all three kids. Nonetheless, it's still an open issue with the courts.

http://www.tmz.com/2009/06/30/michael-jackson-debbie-rowe-surrogate-children-in-vitro/

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