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Salka

The Colour Wizard

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I just received a copy of The Colour Wizard through the post. I bought it in the hope that it might be an old childrens book I remember from my childhood, about a Wizard who painted the sky. It isn't the same book, however the story is similar and I have discovered that if you replace the word "gray" with the word "gay" it's much more interesting.

Let me read to you. PS the words in bold are also in bold in the book.

A long time ago,

and a long way away,

there lived a wizard

by the name of Gay

He was a brown man. <- I did not edit this, this is in the book.

But his beard was gay.

His clothes were gay.

From hat to shoe

that wizard was gay.

And that's not all.

His castle was gay.

His tower was gay.

His cats and his dragons and his bats were gay.

His flowers and his grass and his trees were gay.

gay as fog.

Then one gay day

the wizard said,

"What we need around here is a little red.

Red is bright!"

So he painted his coach.

He painted his door.

He painted his tower

from roof to floor.

His dragons said

they were wild about red.

So he gave each one

a dab on the head.

They looked proud!

But that colour wizard

wasn't through.

"It's time," he said,

"to paint something blue.

Blue is cool."

So he painted his castle

and his fence all blue

He painted the statues

in the garden too.

Then he drew a horse

with a curly horn

and PRESTO!

He made a unicorn.

True blue.

Now Wizard Gay

was having such fun

that he stirred up a colour

as yellow as the sun.

Mellow yellow!

He painted his walls.

He painted his chair.

He painted a golden sun

up in the air!

He painted the flowers.

He painted a tree.

He painted his little cats -

one, two, three.

They looked like tigers!

But then that wizard

got carried away.

He painted all night.

He painted all day!

Orange clouds...

tan ducks...

green dogs...

black grass...

purple birds...

white frogs...

Then he dipped his brush

into each colour pail

and sailed through the sky

on a rainbow trail.

By the time that wizard

put his colours away,

there was nothing anywhere

that was not gay.

No castles or towers

or dragons or bats,

no coaches or flowers

or statues or cats.

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Fog is so gay.

At university I briefly found it amusing to replace the word "days" with the word "gays" in songs. I think the only two I did before losing interest were "Happy Gays" and "Thank You for the Gays". After that I decided it probably wasn't entirely OK to keep going on about gays and that maybe I was being a bit awful. Also it probably wasn't actually very funny.

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I'm already finding it slightly less funny to be honest, and I'm looking for other words to replace "gray" with already.

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"Racist"

He was a brown man. .

But his beard was racist.

His clothes were racist.

From hat to shoe

that wizard was racist.

And that's not all.

His castle was racist.

His tower was racist.

His cats and his dragons and his bats were racist.

His flowers and his grass and his trees were racist

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Fog is so gay.

At university I briefly found it amusing to replace the word "days" with the word "gays" in songs. I think the only two I did before losing interest were "Happy Gays" and "Thank You for the Gays". After that I decided it probably wasn't entirely OK to keep going on about gays and that maybe I was being a bit awful. Also it probably wasn't actually very funny.

It's been a hard gay's night, and I've been working like a dog... HAHAHA MY GOD YOU'RE AWESOME !!!

That one's for you Dan !

X-jVAHAuiS4

And thanks a lot Yufster, made me think of a book in my childhood which was in black and white at the beginning and then a Wizard invented colours, so he painted the whole town red (which was in fact magenta). It got everybody very excited. So eveything was red from the sky to the caves from dogs to mice after but a while everybody got tired, so he search for something else. Of course it was blue he found and made everything blue. Same pattern, he then found Yellow and same pattern again, everybody's happy but then the tire of it. So he was sick of people complaining and destroyed the pots which broke and melted the colours and it made new colours and shades.

And everybody was happy...

Got me thinking, I published a kid's story in a magazine but never thought of translating it... Wonder if it'd interest anyone to read it around here...

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Dude... what was that book called? I think that might be the one I was trying to find.... Did it have AWESOME illustrations??

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You are a genius! I've been looking for this book for YEARS!!!

I'm sure my version was in English but come to think of it my mother read it to me so she probably translated it.

Cool!!!

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You are a genius! I've been looking for this book for YEARS!!!

I'm sure my version was in English but come to think of it my mother read it to me so she probably translated it.

Cool!!!

Your mother speaks french ? What a fine woman !

Once I get it I guess I could translate it if you want ^.^

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Edit - I should learn to fucking scroll once in my life. BTW, OssK it's available at the Fnac des Halles if you're in Paris.

I'ts indeed called the Magicien des Couleurs and It was also part of my childhood. When looking in a FNAC (Ossk will know what I mean) for a book for my 2 year-and-some old niece, I discovered they republished it as well as a bunch of other cult childhood like "Petit Bleu et petit Jaune" and In the Night Kitchen from Sendak (which, by the way, is my third favorite kid book ever.. should we make a list ?)

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On devrait carrément faire une liste...

Ah, et comme je suis un gros porc nerd qui bouge pas son cul de son canapé, je commande les choses sur internet, question de dignité :P

Le chien bleu is so beautiful it broke my heart like a thousand times

Les trois cosmonautes from Umberto Eco himself...

I think the ones that are my TOP favorite books of all times are from Samivel and I don't know if they've ever been translated. Yufster, if you had french books when you were a kid, you might have heard of them :

Ysengrin, Goupil, Brun l'ours…

file782066067.jpg

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I haven't but now I must order it. I have some basic french, enough to struggle through Les aventures de Jo Zette et Jocko and have a pretty good idea what's going on. :)

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Reading Jo Zette et Jocko truely an act of bravery... Bravo ! (en français dans le texte)

Now if you could help me find the book I've been looking for for ages, it's about a boy in a forest... and it's big, and there are tons of shit happening on every page... I think it's about that boy becoming small and meeting a small people... Fuck I wish I remembered it better...

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Reading Jo Zette et Jocko truely an act of bravery... Bravo ! (en français dans le texte)

Now if you could help me find the book I've been looking for for ages, it's about a boy in a forest... and it's big, and there are tons of shit happening on every page... I think it's about that boy becoming small and meeting a small people... Fuck I wish I remembered it better...

minishwp.jpg

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When I was young, in the size of that picture you could fit an entire zelda game !

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HOLY SHIT I WISH THEY WOULD MAKE ANOTHER ZELDA AS GOOD AS MINISH CAP (AND BY GOOD I MEAN TWO-DIMENSIONAL)

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Yeah I guess so... I hope... although being a lumberjack makes you age faster…

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But don't worry, I'm ok.

will anyone get this reference ? I guess yes... The winner might get a personalized pullquote... again ^x^

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Monty Python's Lumberjack Song maybe? There is a line like this, but I don't know, if this specific lumberjack ages faster.

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