Life

[Twig]

I forgot to mention that my pizza got here surprisingly quick!

 

(thanks dudes)

[Roderick]

Wow, it's been a wild ride, Twig, but so good to hear you finally get that job! YYYYES!

[Twig]

(Because it was probably unclear: I don't actually know WHAT the offer is. Just that they have one for me. Hence my current state of apprehension.)

[subbes]

They're gonna offer to finish your pizza for you.

[jmbossy]

Whatever the offer, congrats. 

[dibs]

Whatever the offer, congrats. 

 

_{Janitor in a video game company. Squeeeeee.}

 

Well done Twig.

[stewmull]

hope you get it!

[Erkki]

Congrats, Twig! I hope it's a good offer for you.

 

 

For me, the thing that started well really only went downhill from there, but I didn't get depressed about it so that's good. And now I'm feeling a bit crazy for doing something rather stupid but also perhaps kind of awesome.

[Apelsin]

Congrats Twig!

I hope you get to do something awesome!

[Nachimir]

Congrats Twig! I hope it's the job you want.

[Frenetic Pony]

I forgot to mention that my pizza got here surprisingly quick!

 

(thanks dudes)

 

Congrats on the pizza! Man that's awesome. Also the job I guess, but fast pizza just can't be beat man.

[Merus]

I think I'm right on the cusp of not giving a shit about having an opinion. It's probably a bad mood, because it looks like it rests on the premise 'change is impossible' which tends to crop up when I'm in a bad mood, but I'll bet plenty of other people came to the same conclusion.

 

Culturally regressive attitudes about race, sex and disability are so ingrained that it's basically impossible for me to not demean someone less privileged than I. Even then, there are problems we don't even recognise as being problems, in the same way that 50 years ago no-one knew it was possible to be ableist. If I'm basically guaranteed to do harm to someone, and I'm basically guaranteed to become an old bigot, then why should I spend a whole bunch of effort trying to avoid, in vain, doing harm to those more vulnerable than I? It's going to happen anyway. The best I can do is to not deliberately go out of my way to be a dick and make an insincere apology afterwards.

[Joewintergreen]

Wow, what a weird thing to say. I'm not sure I grok. Are you saying that because 50 years ago there wasn't as much awareness/empathy as there is now, in another 50 years there's going to be just as much of a jump, and you're necessarily going to be an old bigoted asshole, so why even try not to be an asshole now? Am I just not following?

 

or i mean

If I'm basically guaranteed to do harm to someone, and I'm basically guaranteed to become an old bigot

why would those things be guaranteed

[Twig]

I think Merus is saying that as our understanding of what makes people more or less privileged than one another expands, there are more and more ways to officially offend someone. And so you end up offending people without even trying because something that wasn't offensive yesterday is suddenly acknowledged as hugely offensive today.

 

Like the other day I learned it's ableist to say "crippled". Like, "We crippled their defense with that last strike" is politically incorrect. Of course I understand WHY it could be offensive to someone who is actually physically handicapped, but until it was pointed out to me, I never would've given that word a second thought. So now I stress the fuck out about every single word I say these days, because I might offend somebody. My available vocabulary shrinks on a daily basis and it's completely out of my control. (This is a gross exaggeration when taken literally, but sometimes it does actually FEEL like that.)

 

Or wait maybe that's just the source of my personal frustration. I've not reached Merus' state of wanting to give up, but it is incredibly frustrating in some ways that because I'm a white straight middle class male, I'm in the best position to do harm to others just because of the way I talk, even though I didn't know better. And there are more and more and more and more rules I learn as time goes on. I know it's not fair for me to complain about these things, but, well, it's how I feel, so fuck it, right?

 

OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT I DON'T KNOW

 

...

 

Time to eat some leftover pizza! (They still haven't called. But I did get an actual response to my response, so at least I know it's not a huge mistake!)

[Merus]

I should point out here that I have dysthymia, so I'm reasonably sure wanting to throw it all in is the depression talking. But I thought the thought process was worth sharing, which is why it's in Life (and writing it out does help me challenge that thought pattern, so again sorry for using the board for therapy but it still helped).

 

Also I'm pretty sure this is at least part brought on by finding out that apparently thinking twerking is ridiculous is racist. I'm literally going 'if mocking twerking is wrong, I don't wanna be right'.

 

I have been working on swapping out my ableist descriptions ('retard', 'crazy', etc.) with 'fuckwit', which gets the point across (probably a little better, actually). As a kid I deliberately retrained myself to say 'no worries' instead of 'no problem' so I'd sound more Australian, but man.

[subbes]

Social Justice Warriors - and, specifically, tumblr - are p annoying, so I can totally nderstand your frustration.  It must feel like the rules are constantly changing.

 

If I say something that offends someone, I apologise and try not to say it in the future, but anyone who is horrible to me because of an honest mistake can go whizz up a rope.

[Ucantalas]

anyone who is horrible to me because of an honest mistake can go whizz up a rope.

That is incredibly sexist, not everyone can whizz up a rope you... you... 

 

I'm sorry I can't do this. I can't think of some way to insult you. I suck at this.

[Twig]

(and writing it out does help me challenge that thought pattern, so again sorry for using the board for therapy but it still helped).

(It helps me too which is part of why I jumped in!)

apparently thinking twerking is ridiculous is racist

Hahaha what

[Stuart]

*lower class Latino walks into thread*

 

Oh hey guys, what's happenin' he-

 

o.o

 

*slowly backs away*

 

I'm just kidding, I love you all. <3

[Patters]

Well that was the oddest excuse for getting dumped I've ever had ruled downs to " I like you too much and don't want to hurt you". Oddly perplexing as I can deal with I'm not attracted to you and all the other stuff.

 

On the positive side I've lost over 10% of my weight since I last checked (maybe a year) over 10kg. Which is good as I hadn't set out to lose weight just to get fitter. I also ordered another 40kg of Iron. 

[Ben X]

 " I like you too much and don't want to hurt you". Oddly perplexing as I can deal with I'm not attracted to you and all the other stuff.

 

My gut reaction is that what she really means is she's not attracted to you enough to keep it going (and therefore doesn't want to hurt you any more than necessary by keeping it going).

 

Well done on losing weight and getting fitter!

[Thrik]

If you're having to actually try or even think about having an opinion, you're probably doing it wrong. I certainly don't go around worrying about what other people might read into everything that I say. Instead, I focus on being a genuinely good person who has reasonable beliefs and treats others as a human being should. If you do that, then unless your beliefs happen to be pretty racist or generally assholish then you're unlikely to ever run into trouble. I'm my own judge and I believe myself to be a very fair and balanced person. Then again, so do racists I guess.

Edit: It's hard to really verbalise what I mean so I'll try again: say and do what you believe to be right. If you happen to offend someone, be open to the idea that maybe you're actually wrong — and if not, why aren't you? Question yourself, and if you still believe it then stand your ground. Don't just give up on caring about whether or not something is right. If it weren't for constantly educating and questioning ourselves, we'd all still be like Winston Churchill: great in many ways, but kind of a racist fuck.

[Patters]

My gut reaction is that what she really means is she's not attracted to you enough to keep it going (and therefore doesn't want to hurt you any more than necessary by keeping it going).

 

Well done on losing weight and getting fitter!

 

 

I'm fairly sure it's not because I'm pretty confident she is more attracted to me than the other way. There is a bunch of other stuff but I'm not willing to get into it.

[dibs]

She misherd and thinks you are a juggalo.

[Thrik]

I'm fairly sure it's not because I'm pretty confident she is more attracted to me than the other way. There is a bunch of other stuff but I'm not willing to get into it.

 

I agree with Ben, although I think it's worth clarifying that when he said 'attracted' I took that to mean in the sense of chemistry and general lover appeal (i.e. the spark) rather than anything physical. Likes you more as a friend, that kind of thing. Or maybe I'm just projecting what happened with my last relationship, heh.