tegan Posted April 18, 2013 I told him! I'm out of the closet! I had to do it through email, but it didn't feel as hard as the other times I've done it. Now I just have to wait to hear back from him. I did it I did it eeeee Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
miffy495 Posted April 18, 2013 Congratulations! I hope he's cool about stuff. More difficult to resolve is the parents thing. If it's not too personal, what city are they in? Is resolving things with them going to mean actually seeing them often, or will you be able to ease into it with occasional visits from (possibly) one province to another? That physical proximity thing alone could make a huge difference either way... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
subbes Posted April 18, 2013 I'd say if you do want to reach out, don't tell her where you live, but maybe give her a post office box address, or an opportunity to meet in a neutral place where you have Team You nearby in case it goes pear-shaped. This is probably obvious and I'm just having an attack of answer syndrome, but, y'know, I like to try to help. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gormongous Posted April 18, 2013 Yeah, I've been crippled by a need to give useless advice since this whole thing began, Tegan. On the one hand, you could use the money. On the other, you could use a life free of emotional blackmail more. It's really what you think is best for you, whatever the cost. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zeusthecat Posted April 18, 2013 Tegan, I was reading through your posts and I am appalled (although sadly not surprised) that we still live in a world where you have to deal with the bullshit you have experienced. Unfortunately, I was raised as a hardcore Seventh Day Adventist and had the same bigoted views that many people still hold today regarding race and LGBT issues. As I got older and escaped the grasp of my sheltered childhood I left God, religion, and all that other bullshit behind and was able to get a much clearer perspective on what is right, wrong, good, and bad. As I went through this process of shedding my religious beliefs and preconceived notions, I was fortunate enough to become good friends with several people that identify as LGBT and they were some of the highest quality human beings I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. What I came to realize is that there is absolutely nothing wrong with someone being who they are, but there is something majorly wrong with anyone who thinks they are wise enough to pass judgment on other people for being who they are. I know I am a complete stranger to you but I have no doubt that you are a better person than those that have treated you unfairly. Always remember, there is nothing wrong with you but there is something wrong with those that look down on you. Those assholes are just too fucking retarded to have figured it out yet. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ben X Posted April 18, 2013 Yeah, I'd say take the money in a way that doesn't tell them your location, plus let your mother know why you're being cautious (ie gay therapy, taking your possessions etc). If they try to set conditions on you getting the money, call bullshit and resist. They owe you big time, take it on your own terms and don't let them trick their way back into a position to hurt you more Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ben X Posted April 18, 2013 Also, she put an apostrophe in "emails". DISOWN. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nachimir Posted April 18, 2013 Definitely don't neglect any other options you've been focusing on. If your mom really wants to help, then she'll be willing to do it on your terms. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sententia Posted April 18, 2013 Awesome that you came out to a friend! One of the great things about moving is you don't have to come out, you can just wear an LGBT wristband or something and people will take it at face value. Trapped at college for now, haven't slept since last night, hungry and exhausted. It's a 30 minute bike ride home, and the rain that's been pouring for the past day just started waning. I might be able to head home soon, but for now I'm tiredly grinding achievements in SC2 to the background noise of podcasts. http://i.imgur.com/wMx0Z0M.jpg Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tegan Posted April 18, 2013 He says he's fine with it and wants to be supportive! YAAAAY!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tegan Posted April 19, 2013 He says I can use his house as a safe space to meet my mom and get the money. Everything's turnin' up Tegan! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Twig Posted April 19, 2013 Hurray! I hope things continue to go your way!Semi-related: It's weird how seeing other people have good things happen to them makes me feel better, even though it doesn't even remotely directly effect me. Human brain. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squid Division Posted April 19, 2013 Turnin' up Tegan! sounds like you found your website/podcast/sitcom name too Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SecretAsianMan Posted April 19, 2013 sounds like you found your website/podcast/sitcom name too [insert canned laughter and applause] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tegan Posted April 19, 2013 I've been up since three am and can't get to sleep I am so excited to be out of the closet you guys have no idea Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dibs Posted April 19, 2013 Like Harry potter on his first day in hogwarts. But a metaphorical closet instead of a fictional one. So, getting back to my problem. Is there often songs in bitchin kitchen? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nappi Posted April 19, 2013 Good to hear tegan. Congrats! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
castorp Posted April 19, 2013 Sententia, you manage to get home? And, on a related note, are you in fact made entirely out of sugar? (30 minutes of rain, pff, when I was your age we had to swim to school.) Yeah, Tegan, sounds great. Actually meeting with your parents in your city (I suppose) sounds like a bold step, hope that it goes according to plan (and that you have one [always know where the exits are {and I'm only half-joking - your parents seem difficult}]). In August I'll go to Ecuador for a year for a social project. I'm excited! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
miffy495 Posted April 19, 2013 Congrats Tegan! I'm so damn happy for you. That's fantastic news, and having some kind of in-the-know friendbase in your city will be the first step to a much better situation. Internet high fives all around. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tegan Posted April 19, 2013 Argh; I'm writing an email back to my mom and have no idea what to say. I'm trying to keep it short and to the point, but there's so much that needs to be said sooner or later. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sententia Posted April 19, 2013 Great news tegan go you! and him for volunteering his place. Sententia, you manage to get home? And, on a related note, are you in fact made entirely out of sugar? (30 minutes of rain, pff, when I was your age we had to swim to school.) I biked home when it was seeming to thin out yesterday at noon, but it went back to full-on storm mode halfway so I got wet even through my hat and coat, made it there though: http://imgur.com/LxULK4r Afterwards I slept for 14 hours, woke up this morning, and biked here this afternoon through hail and crazy wind. God I love storms Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
subbes Posted April 20, 2013 i am coming to london in 44 hours also i am drunk, but tbh this doesn't alter my posting style* much * (some sort of tumblr mishmash only cute when done by zooey deschanel) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites