Life

[subbes]

Were you actually at BSidesSF when that went down? Seems like that caused a pretty big stir on the BSides mailing list.

 

Yeah, I was there.  Turns out I was actually in the restaurant, on the other side of the room, while Ian (BSidesSF organiser) and Valerie (from the Ada Initiative) were discussing the talk - but I was too busy figuring out rpy2 to eavesdrop. I'm not on the BSides mailing list though, so I'd be interested to hear what went on there.

 

Most of the drama occurred online or via twitter, not at the venue itself, because the talk was cancelled at the last minute and nothing had really been announced about it beforehand - plus we're all more comfortable on Twitter than in our shoes.

 

This was my second week in the dang industry and it just up and WHAPs me in the head with intersectionality and a chance to be all RAR FEMINIST and I'm all "D-do I say something? S-should my first big act in this industry be writing a blog post calling everyone out for behaving like schoolboys and giving InfoSec a really bad professional image?  What if I speak out and then get doxxed?  Should I get another iced coffee?"

 

Thankfully I am old enough, large enough, married enough, and cat-hair-covered enough that I'm not a target of sexual comments or harassment (though that's mostly DEFCON behavior, and I'm not sure if we're going to DC'21), but... real fuckin' depressing start.

[jeremywc]

Yeah, I was there.  Turns out I was actually in the restaurant, on the other side of the room, while Ian (BSidesSF organiser) and Valerie (from the Ada Initiative) were discussing the talk - but I was too busy figuring out rpy2 to eavesdrop. I'm not on the BSides mailing list though, so I'd be interested to hear what went on there.

 

Most of the drama occurred online or via twitter, not at the venue itself, because the talk was cancelled at the last minute and nothing had really been announced about it beforehand - plus we're all more comfortable on Twitter than in our shoes.

 

This was my second week in the dang industry and it just up and WHAPs me in the head with intersectionality and a chance to be all RAR FEMINIST and I'm all "D-do I say something? S-should my first big act in this industry be writing a blog post calling everyone out for behaving like schoolboys and giving InfoSec a really bad professional image?  What if I speak out and then get doxxed?  Should I get another iced coffee?"

 

Thankfully I am old enough, large enough, married enough, and cat-hair-covered enough that I'm not a target of sexual comments or harassment (though that's mostly DEFCON behavior, and I'm not sure if we're going to DC'21), but... real fuckin' depressing start.

 

I think most of the reasonable people felt like the decision to cancel the talk was probably the best given the short amount of time Ian had to make a decision. There is a concern that this might set a precedent that would basically require the BSides cons would cancel a talk anytime it's controversial (which so many talks are at sec cons). I think it's a reasonable concern, but some people really over reacted and seemed to make a bad situation worse. Basically they painted the BSides leadership as being pro-censorship for not coming down on Ian. Ultimately the BSides mothership just doubled down on their commitment to give the local BSides coordinators the freedom to make their own decisions on what they feel is appropriate for their venue, which I think is the right call.

 

Just reading everything second hand, I think the talk was kind of a stretch to be relevant for a computer security con. Ideally, they should have announced the talk a lot sooner to allow time for feedback and/or prepare for backlash. But I also think that it's reasonable to ask someone to go to another track if they're not happy with a single presentation in it. Tough call to make, I'm glad I didn't have to do it.

[subbes]

The tracks weren't that well separated - it was at the DNA Lounge, which if you've not been there, is basically a bar/concert venue.  Track 1 used the whole downstairs, and Track 2 was in a much smaller room upstairs.  They could have moved VB upstairs, perhaps, but the room wouldn't have held everyone and that wouldn't have solved the issue that her talk - "sex + drugs," which one of my co-workers said she'd given before at a different con - wasn't in any way related to infosec and seemed too sexualizing for a security con.  

 

Free speech sex-positive third wave feminism woo, I want to support her right to give whatever talk she wants... and yet I don't think it would have been healthy for the con. 

[ThunderPeel2001]

It was just so awkward and out of character - she's usually pretty quiet and meek. We went out for lunch again today and our interactions were as per normal! Maybe she was just fucking with me. X:

I just had a crazy idea: Why not ask her?

[shammack]

I think I might have encountered Nick Breckon at work the other day, but I'm not sure. I was walking into the kitchen and a guy was on his way out as I came in, and he said "hi" as we passed each other and I reflexively said "hi" back without really paying attention to who it was. But then a few seconds later I was like, "wait... was that Nick Breckon?" I couldn't really tell because he just looked like John Q. Video Games and I don't have a lot of visual reference to draw from where he's not wearing crazy VR goggles or whatever. But by the time that thought process had finished, he was already gone.

 

It's really awkward to have listened to people talk for hundreds of hours and feel like you know them, but then you start working with them and realize, "oh wait, actually they have no idea who I am." It makes me a complete squirmy weirdo. Social interactions... they're hard sometimes.

[toblix]

Just run around a corner and into him and drop a bunch of papers. You'll be chatting in no time.

[syntheticgerbil]

Walk into Gearbox and yell "MY NAME IS SYNTHETICGERBIL AND I WANT TO MAKE BORDERLANDS!" At the top of your lungs. If that doesn't get you a job there nothing will. Also Crytek is making a stab at an Austin office, dude apply!

I would actually love to try both Gearbox and Robot Ent. in Dallas, but I can't move there right now. A lot of the problem is Austin just sucks right now. Well I'm not a big fan of this city in general either, but they usually have lots of video game companies without massive amount of layoffs.

 

Just run around a corner and into him and drop a bunch of papers. You'll be chatting in no time.

Is this your whole life?

[Nachimir]

I only just noticed what toblix has done.

[Frenetic Pony]

I would actually love to try both Gearbox and Robot Ent. in Dallas, but I can't move there right now. A lot of the problem is Austin just sucks right now. Well I'm not a big fan of this city in general either, but they usually have lots of video game companies without massive amount of layoffs.

 

Wait where are you? I just assumed you were in Austin because you mentioned it. Maybe try a different place? The S.F. bay area is far less urbanized and has plenty of video game companies, go apply to Double Fine

 

Regardlesss you will never, ever get what you want done accomplished unless you go for it. The reasons are all the same, they're all "perfectly good legitimate reasons that I just can't do X right now" and then X never gets done; because you there will ALWAYS be "perfectly good legitimate reasons X is too hard to do right now". If you want it, I'd say go for it regardless of how "good" or numerous the reasons seem not to do so.

[syntheticgerbil]

I'd move if I could, but my girlfriend, who I will most likely marry next year, has a job she really loves at a vet hospital where she is lead tech. She really doesn't want to have to leave her job, so it would probably mean a break up if I just took it upon myself. We also originally moved here for opportunity for myself, but how I was imagining it is nothing like it turned out.

 

That's pretty much it. As much as working at either Double Fine or Telltale would be my dream job and make me extremely happy, I choose love over job any day.

[Frenetic Pony]

I'd move if I could, but my girlfriend, who I will most likely marry next year, has a job she really loves at a vet hospital where she is lead tech. She really doesn't want to have to leave her job, so it would probably mean a break up if I just took it upon myself. We also originally moved here for opportunity for myself, but how I was imagining it is nothing like it turned out.

 

That's pretty much it. As much as working at either Double Fine or Telltale would be my dream job and make me extremely happy, I choose love over job any day.

 

Well : (

 

Maybe she can get a similar job elsewhere, but maybe not. At least you've got something to be happy with, even if it's not the job you want

[tegan]

I just can't take life anymore. I've skipped work for the past two weeks due to severe stress, I'm having the hardest time convincing myself to go outside, and I feel absolutely crushingly depressed. I'm trying to get recommended to a psychiatrist for some personal problems that I've been having for years, but I'm finding it extremely difficult to get anywhere.

[Nachimir]

Is there any state covered medical care, or would you have to pay one yourself?

[SiN]

 need some advice from any Thumbs living in or near Seattle. I just found out that I've been accepted to UW's grad school, which will require me to move myself from DC to Seattle. Does anyone in the area have advice on apartments/jobs/anything? I've never had to move cross-country like this before, so it's all little overwhelming (but very exciting!).

 

Exciting! What are you doing at grad school?

 

I moved to Seattle for work so I might not be super useful, but I'll try anyway.

 

Apartments: UW campus is in U-district, which tends to be where students live. It's a bit of a drive/bus trip to Seattle proper though. I've been there lets say a dozen or so times (for food, concerts) and well ... it seems like a place where students live.  Rent is cheaper in U-district than it is Seattle proper.

 

If you'd rather live in Seattle, I'm guessing it's a 20-30 minute commute to UW. You probably want to live in Capitol Hill. It's the happening part of town... the rent is higher than it should be as a result. Queen Anne is a great area too... quiet, heavily residential, but still close to downtown. Rent is pretty reasonable too. Oh, Fremont too. It's close to U-district, but a bit far from downtown.

 

Places to avoid: Belltown is kinda expensive and too close to downtown, South Lake Union has a lot of new buildings popping up, but it's really under-developed.

 

Uhhh, that's all I've got. Reply here or Private Message me if I've been useful and you've got more questions.

[dibs]

There is a song in the middle of Bitchin' Kitchen. Does this always happen?

[miffy495]

Is there any state covered medical care, or would you have to pay one yourself?

 

I've never gone myself, but if memory serves friends of mine who have gone for counselling have had it covered by the government. Canada is generally pretty good for that. I think that falls under the federal health plan, at least. What province are you in, Tegan? Have you gone before? What's the status?

 

Also, I know that when you're in a funk like that encouragement doesn't do much, but if it helps to know that other Thumbs who've dealt with the same (or love people who regularly do) are thinking of you, then let it be know that I'm pulling for you. Hope you come through this ok.

[ThunderPeel2001]

I just can't take life anymore. I've skipped work for the past two weeks due to severe stress, I'm having the hardest time convincing myself to go outside, and I feel absolutely crushingly depressed. I'm trying to get recommended to a psychiatrist for some personal problems that I've been having for years, but I'm finding it extremely difficult to get anywhere.

That's horrible, man. I know it sounds obvious, but... anti-depressants? The more severe your depression, the more effective they tend to be.

[tegan]

There's a personal reason that I'd rather not discuss as to why I want to see one particular psych, but I can't get in without a doctor's recommendation. I'm going to a walk-in clinic today to see if they can help, and also to see if I can get a doctor's note excusing my absence from work, as well as maybe some kind of information about getting short-term disability leave.

[syntheticgerbil]

I just can't take life anymore. I've skipped work for the past two weeks due to severe stress, I'm having the hardest time convincing myself to go outside, and I feel absolutely crushingly depressed. I'm trying to get recommended to a psychiatrist for some personal problems that I've been having for years, but I'm finding it extremely difficult to get anywhere.

I actually had this problem but not as extreme for a while. Definitely therapy helped majorly, but I don't know how easy it is to find a good therapy in your area. Psychiatrists tend to just be there to dispense meds, but I've found therapy more effective for my stupid mental issues along the years.

 

At the time I had a job where it was never very stressful and the rules were very lax, so I called in sick a lot even though I wasn't sick, I was just too depressed to get out of bed some days. I haven't done that in a few years now, which I guess thinking on it, I should feel a bit proud of.

 

But yeah, I think someone talking to you will feel really good. They'll probably tell you to go force yourself to exercise, psychiatrist or therapist, as that helps with mood in nearly every case as well. Hope things start working out for you!

[brkl]

Good luck, tegan.

[tegan]

I walked an hour and a half or more to get to a clinic today, and they refused to even talk to me because I guess they don't treat depression or anxiety there. I even explained that I only want to see them because I want to speak with a psychiatrist who won't see me without first being recommended by a family doctor or a walk-in clinic. I don't have a family doctor and I'm having so much trouble with these walk-in clinics. I also contacted a psychologist directly who said I should see the same psychiatrist, but wasn't able to give me a recommendation and instead referred me to the clinic I just went to.

 

And now my foot's all bloodied up from walking, too.

[dibs]

I hope you get to see someone soon Tegan. The games with jobs forums has a thread with cool people taking about depression which might be worth a look.

Sorry for interjecting last night as well, I was half asleep when I posted and didn't pay any attention to what was before.

[subbes]

I'm sorry to hear that, tegan.  Is there anything we can do as disembodied internet persons?  Maybe we could forge a doctor's note for you...

[melmer]

I can help in that regard, I forged my bosses IVF documents. To think, my photoshop forgery skills created life. That's gotta be worth a raise.

[syntheticgerbil]

Oh, hmm... So can you not just skip the walk-in clinics and go directly to the therapist/psychiatrist in Canada? That's lame.