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Hope you are doing alright lansbury. I would say the slack is not the same without you, but there was literally (literally) hours of homoeroticism today.

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When isn't Slack homoerotic?  Also, that conversation still didn't quite have the same spark to it without Lansbury there though. 

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How do you know when it's the right time to leave your job?  I have a very comfortable and stable job with decent pay and benefits, but the work itself isn't inspiring at all.  My co-workers are all generally nice people, but workplace morale is low.  

 

I was offered a job earlier in December, but turned it down as it was a significant pay drop.  I've been offered another job, this time with work that I know I'm going to enjoy and pay that starts lower than where I am but goes higher, but the benefits and perks are slightly lower (less vacation time) and it's going to be very busy and less flexible with a steeper learning curve, compared to my ludicrous comfort right now.  

 

Accepting this job is the best step for my career, pretty much no questions asked.  I'm sort of stuck in my current job with limited advancement prospects, but this new job opens a lot of doors.  

 

But, I'm EXTREMELY comfortable in my current job.  They're very flexible about personal concerns, and I'm a big fish in a small pond - I am respected as a subject matter expert in my field at this job.  I have more vacation now because of my specific contractual arrangement, and I am a member of a good union, whereas the new job isn't unionized.  Generally, I fear change and am very much a creature of habit.  

 

There's a lot of mental jiu-jitsu going on in my head right now.  My wife is extremely supportive of either decision.  If I turn it down, I know I'm comfortable here, but a) I don't know when that opportunity might come up again, and I've already turned down one job.  Turning down two seems like very bad karma, and I don't want to be known in my industry, which is small, as the guy who can't commit.  If I take it, there's a chance I won't be as generally comfortable and have as good a work-life balance as I currently do.

 

I know I have to rip that bandage off and just go for it and not actually be afraid of change for once in my life, but my brain is amazing at putting up roadblocks when something can take me out of my comfort zone.

 

tl;dr I should probably shut up and appreciate my position in life because jobs are hard to come by.

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Are you excited about the prospect of taking that other job? You say it's a good career move but that doesn't mean it's the right move for you. It depends on how much you value your career I suppose. Personally I would value work/life balance and vacation time over career opportunities, to a point anyway. To be honest you just have to go with your gut. I'm resistant to change too, sometimes it's good to push yourself out of your comfort zone, but sometimes it's completely awful too, so don't do it because it's "right" objectively somehow.

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Definitely excited.  Work-life balance is incredibly important, and I do have a good balance right now, but I do have to consider that I still have a few decades before retirement, so I need to consider how fulfilling my work is, and whether or not I can move, because stagnancy is a morale killer.

 

Anyway, it's all a moot point - I accepted the job and I'll be starting on February 29th.  Exciting times ahead!

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Congrats!

 

Personal career news: I have completed my evaluation period for my permanent teaching certificate! Once my principal signs a letter and sends it off to the Alberta Teacher's Association, I am now a fully certified, continuous-contract-ed teacher! All teachers in my province have a probationary period of 400 school days after completing their degrees after which they are eligible to get their permanent certificate. This roughly translates to two full school years. Due to a bit of time spent subbing at the beginning, I didn't hit my 400 days until now, midway through my third year on the job. I spent the last month having my principal sit in on random classes that I taught, taking notes and evaluating my effectiveness as a teacher. He likes what he sees, so I'm now set with a certificate that says I'm good at shit and am out of the probationary period! I now have practically guaranteed job security (once on a continuous contract with a permanent certificate, a teacher MUST be placed in a school at the start of each September) in a career I really enjoy working at one of the best-paying school boards in Canada.

 

It's a good week.

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Okay, I really need advice:

 

So I've started dating this girl who is utterly incredible, and also incredibly busy - she's a law student. Whenever we spend time together, I genuinely think it's amazing, and she seems to give as much as I do so I'm reasonably sure it's not one-sided. My problem is that apparently I have this innate need to be constantly in contact w the person of my affections, and she simply doesn't because of her law work. I understand it, but it also sends me absolutely crazy all day wondering 'Why isn't she texting? Why is she on twitter and not messaging me? Why does she not like me anymore? What have I done wrong? What is this horrendous weight on my chest? Why do I want to cry and throw up and sleep forever?'

 

Is anyone else here as neurotic as me and found a way to help me pull myself together?

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Okay, I really need advice:

 

So I've started dating this girl who is utterly incredible, and also incredibly busy - she's a law student. Whenever we spend time together, I genuinely think it's amazing, and she seems to give as much as I do so I'm reasonably sure it's not one-sided. My problem is that apparently I have this innate need to be constantly in contact w the person of my affections, and she simply doesn't because of her law work. I understand it, but it also sends me absolutely crazy all day wondering 'Why isn't she texting? Why is she on twitter and not messaging me? Why does she not like me anymore? What have I done wrong? What is this horrendous weight on my chest? Why do I want to cry and throw up and sleep forever?'

 

Is anyone else here as neurotic as me and found a way to help me pull myself together?

I have similar issues and pretty much all I can do is remind myself that not everyone is attached to their phones the way I am, that they are busy and will get back to me when they have time. Its pretty hard.

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Is anyone else here as neurotic as me and found a way to help me pull myself together?

 

I am the same way, and it's been a little bit of an issue in my current relationship, but I've just had to work on cultivating patience and understanding without taking it personally that other people's behavior makes no sense to me. If the relationship sticks it out at a serious level for three or four months, you eventually get used to it. Communication, even half-joking communication, about how much regular contact means to you (framed in "love language" concepts, I've found it best) is also a good step to take.

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I am the same way, and it's been a little bit of an issue in my current relationship, but I've just had to work on cultivating patience and understanding without taking it personally that other people's behavior makes no sense to me. If the relationship sticks it out at a serious level for three or four months, you eventually get used to it. Communication, even half-joking communication, about how much regular contact means to you (framed in "love language" concepts, I've found it best) is also a good step to take.

That's definitely part of it. Initially I am convinced that I said something wrong in the last message and they will never reply to me again.There has always been a point where i can calm down, because they obviously like me and I just need to chill.

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Christ y'all. Y'all are to up on their shit.

 

But then again, I used to be like that and I just decided not to be that obsessive person and learned not to worry about it. You have to force that change. It also helps that my friends aren't huge texters; well, they are but not towards me. So I can go days without communication with anyone. 


When I'm in a relationship I rather not be in constant communication, too much work and I like that we have lives and conversations outside of us. I would not want to be with someone who constantly wanted me to converse with them; I like my silence and time to myself.

I think another thing that stopped me was when I would talk to a lot of women, their exs or bfs or husbands that did that were also highly possessive and jealous and I wanted no part of that shit.

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Christ y'all. Y'all are to up on their shit.

 

But then again, I used to be like that and I just decided not to be that obsessive person and learned not to worry about it. You have to force that change. It also helps that my friends aren't huge texters; well, they are but not towards me. So I can go days without communication with anyone. 

When I'm in a relationship I rather not be in constant communication, too much work and I like that we have lives and conversations outside of us. I would not want to be with someone who constantly wanted me to converse with them; I like my silence and time to myself.

I think another thing that stopped me was when I would talk to a lot of women, their exs or bfs or husbands that did that were also highly possessive and jealous and I wanted no part of that shit.

I don't constantly spam them demanding to know where they are and what they are doing because that would be terrible. For me its not about jealousy or possessiveness, its insecurity, its really just an issue for me early in a relationship and I am very careful not to impose my bad mental habits on others. I just got used to being in regular communication with friends and it can be disconcerting to me. I think its also related to one of my ex's being absolutely terrible at communicating. She would go to something, not communicate for hours then get annoyed if I ate without her. 

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I don't constantly spam them demanding to know where they are and what they are doing because that would be terrible. For me its not about jealousy or possessiveness, its insecurity, its really just an issue for me early in a relationship

Not saying that you do that or are that, homie.

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I think its also related to one of my ex's being absolutely terrible at communicating. She would go to something, not communicate for hours then get annoyed if I ate without her. 

 

Man, it's rough sometimes how bad partners can train you to be a bad partner. A lot of my insecurities in relationships come from a string of girlfriends in my teenage years who'd deny me affection until I did something to "deserve" it, and even though it's been fifteen years and I'm almost entirely past it, it still triggers bad reactions from me sometimes.

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I kind of have a crush on someone who communicates even less than I do, which is saying something. I'm sure it would never work.

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Woo, no worries, turns out I wasn't just paranoid: she just texted me saying it's over (Y) brb going to try and cry and not throw up everywhere

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We moved into the new house. We're exhausted but the main hurdle's done. Crap that was a huge day. At least most of the inevitable moving problems got sorted with the rest getting figured out soon.
Sadly for the short term we don't have any water connections for our washing machine! But hey we've got a dishwasher! Haven't had one of those since I was like 11 (~'06).

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