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I've probably asked this question before in this very thread, but: Why are Americans so afraid of unions? A lot of the work "luxuries" we enjoy here in Scandinavia like long holidays, proper parental leave and mandated overtime pay are things the unions here have fought hard to get through. 

 

But every time I hear Americans talking about unions it's in this weird hushed tone, like they're afraid of someone hearing them suggest it. Like Austin Walker talking about working conditions in the games industry on the Beastcast: "Now, I'm not saying they should UNIONIZE, but..." But what? Why not? I literally don't understand.

 

Overall, it's really complicated but, as I understand it, the Communism scares of the 1950s allowed pro-business conservatives to roll back a lot of the unions' economic and political power, which was mostly broken in the 1970s when the world economy had recovered enough to start flooding the States with higher-quality imports. Lots of industries moved to the South, which had less of a tradition of unions, and the unions lost all their clout with the Democrats, and the ones that survived the eighties were vilified as clannish and ineffectual because they lacked the power to protect the average worker (some of it their fault, some of it not).

 

Some states still have strong union traditions in blue-collar labor. Missouri is the most pro-union state that I've ever encountered and you simply won't find a non-union plumber or electrician in St. Louis. Elsewhere, though, there's a widespread belief that unions steal wages from workers in exchange for mafia-like "protection," while also strangling business' profits and making them less able to grow and hire more workers. It's a definite victory for that way of thinking, that even someone like Austin Walker doesn't want to say "union" for fear of being Norma Rae'd.

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We had a fucking earthquake last night. In Phoenix. I've never had that experience before and because it's not something that ever really happens here, it freaked me out and actually got me to stop playing FTL and go to bed at a decent time.

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It's interesting to me the professions that are and aren't widely unionized. Like IBEW, the plumbers and pipefitters union, teachers unions, and state employee unions are all common, but other professions are much less unionized. If your profession is not minimum wage (like food service) and predates the red scare, it's fairly likely there's a union, otherwise not so much.

 

The workers at my mom's old job wanted to unionize and she was convinced that paying dues would just be lining some anonymous fat cat's pockets rather than negotiating for better work conditions more time off and all around better treatment.

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We had a fucking earthquake last night. In Phoenix. I've never had that experience before and because it's not something that ever really happens here, it freaked me out and actually got me to stop playing FTL and go to bed at a decent time.

 

Only if you were playing Vlambeer game then we could have had a fine joke on our hands ;)

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I've probably asked this question before in this very thread, but: Why are Americans so afraid of unions? A lot of the work "luxuries" we enjoy here in Scandinavia like long holidays, proper parental leave and mandated overtime pay are things the unions here have fought hard to get through.

Because unions are against the free spirit land of the free and obamacare, bible says under god.

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All the techs and workers here are either union or contractors.  At one point I was told the engineers considered unionizing but those plans fell through for some reason.

 

In other work related news, I got a page on Sunday (yes, I have to carry a pager in this day and age) that said the night shift was over and I could return to working days.  We usually get a few days off in order to make the transition and I was all set to stay awake all day today so that I could sleep tonight.  Then I got another page saying that there was a problem and I was needed back on night shift for another day or two.  So my already messed up sleep schedule got even more messed up.  Now I'm in the office, completely alone, and there's literally nothing going on that requires my assistance.

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So my daughter got married on Saturday.  They basically eloped, I guess you'd say.  Just had a quick thing with 2 witnesses.  Her boyfriend is in the military, and the driving reason to do it was for benefits.  The lady and I are the only people they've told, nobody in his family at all, and not planning on saying anything to the rest of our family.  It's weird.  She's an adult and can do what she wants.  It makes financial sense to do it.  The lady and I have never bothered to get married, so we're not ones to stand on tradition. It would have been difficult or impossible for some of us to get to Seattle on short notice.  But still, it feels really weird to know she went off and got married and none of us were there to be with her. 

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Huh, that's weird. I guess the finances are really a big thing these days though. One of my good friends recently eloped to New Orleans with his wife. Most of her family was from Mexico and she wanted to avoid the traditional big wedding with her family so she made the plan to just do it quietly on a little vacation.

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If I ever get married, which I strongly doubt, that's probably how I'd do it. If you don't enjoy large parties, being the center of attention etc. then you shouldn't feel pressured into doing it just because it's the norm. Not to mention the cost. I like celebrating other people, but I hate celebrating myself (birthdays, graduation etc.).

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When I eventually get married, I definitely plan on doing it courthouse style, which my parents have approved of. I do want a badass party after though. I feel like the effort and exhaustion of planning the ceremony is not something I want to get into especially given my desire for a non-religious ceremony and my parents who would want that. It's easier to just do courthouse. Going tens thousands of dollars further in debt is not appealing, I got more than enough student loan debt to cover that. Ideal reception would be no food, but drinks. Also I don't have to deal with my SO's weird friends jockeying for best man status, which started like 4 years ago that they were already asking for top billing. Like dude, this would in no way be about you.

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I am broke and in debt and make minimum wage and I have to fly to San Francisco and take 5 days off work in April to go to my sister's wedding.

 

Marriage is a thing I am fine with, even if I don't exactly believe in it. But weddings and particularly the culture around them are fucking gross. I don't begrudge anyone who has the money to spend it how they wish. But it can often turn into this collapsed star of cost, sucking so many people into it. Part of the reason I'm in debt in the first place is because I drove to Houston for a friend's wedding four years ago.

 

I don't go to any weddings anymore (and considering that my mom is one of 9 and I have about 45 cousins in their mid 20's to late 30's, that means declining invitations about once a month), but I can't not go to my sister's. My parents are paying for the plane tickets, saying I can pay them back but they're one of the people I'm in debt to in the first place.

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Little pro tip for those of you who use facebook chat on your desktop but are annoyed by staring at your homepage all the time https://www.messenger.com sends you to facebook messenger and you don't have to look at your ugly facebook page all the time.

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Little pro tip for those of you who use facebook chat on your desktop but are annoyed by staring at your homepage all the time http://www.messenger.com sends you to facebook messenger and you don't have to look at your ugly facebook page all the time.

"Website blocked by Trend Micro Worry-Free Business Security Services"

 

I don't think I've ever seen this message at work before! I work at a game dev so I could theoretically load a porn website and as long as no one saw it, I'd be in the clear. Ain't nothin' blocked unless it's a security risk.

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"Website blocked by Trend Micro Worry-Free Business Security Services"

 

I don't think I've ever seen this message at work before! I work at a game dev so I could theoretically load a porn website and as long as no one saw it, I'd be in the clear. Ain't nothin' blocked unless it's a security risk.

 

Weird. As someone who operates a big brother web proxy for a living, I can confirm Messenger.com is a legit site operated by Facebook. It's not any more of a security/data loss risk than Facebook itself.

(trend sucks!)

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My relationship's in a bit of a weird place right now. It was an absolutely crazy whirlwind for almost six months exactly, with neither of us ever having been more in love before, and then we had a run of disappointing weekends, culminating in a few fights where she was stressing about how much money we spend as a couple, both by going out and by getting each other things. Since then... well, the past month's been a big change. We're seeing each other a lot less during the week, maybe getting dinner or watching TV together once or twice, and recently our weekends have involved a lot more breaks and meals apart, again to save money. Somehow, although I make a third of what she does, money's more the thing that matters to her, so this is what we're both doing, even though it means seeing less of each other and doing less when we're together. It's fine? I don't know, my biggest insecurity in a relationship is my partner getting less interested in or attracted to me over time, so even though I don't think she's being that much less affectionate, at least when I ask for affection, the dramatic deescalation of our time together is still gnawing at me in a bad way.

 

She's also been looking for a better job, which I support completely since she is enormously talented at what she does and mostly squandered at her current place of work, but she's had difficulty finding anything at the other hospitals in town, so she's recently started looking at jobs in Chicago, and that's very confusing to me. At first, I didn't think she was serious about moving four hours away to a completely new city, just to make a slightly bigger paycheck, but she's talked about it enough over the past couple of weeks that I can tell it's really an option in her mind. I tempted her out to dinner tonight, since I hadn't seen her for the better part of a week, and she was talking sincerely about the potential of moving to a new city and totally overhauling her finances. I was just like... cool? She knows I can't move, not with my assistantship only halfway done, and I don't know what conclusions to draw from that. We couldn't really talk much about it at the restaurant, because she left right after the bill was paid to go watch TV with her dog. I'm trying desperately hard not to feel like I'm being broken up in the slowest and most passive way possible, hopefully not... sigh.

 

A lot of this relationship has been reminding me how much it hurts to be in love, since I haven't really experienced it since college. It's amazing to have someone to whom you can give yourself over entirely, but fuck me if every little thing doesn't mess you up. It was a great deal easier dating people whom I didn't particularly like and wouldn't really miss too much if they took off. I know, I know. Ridiculous, I am.

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Even without being quite this honest, do you think it would be a good idea to have a conversation in which you ask, "What would you moving mean for us?"

Whatever answer she gives might be enlightening.

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I'm just trying to work out why you don't cook together.

 

But anyway, what Gwardinen said.

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Even without being quite this honest, do you think it would be a good idea to have a conversation in which you ask, "What would you moving mean for us?"

Whatever answer she gives might be enlightening.

 

I must confess, I'm loath to ask, because i) I don't feel like taking up one of our reduced times together with a Big Talk, even if it ultimately helps calm my mind, and ii) I'm afraid of what the answer will be. When our best-case scenario of her getting the job is "She'll move at the end of November, we'll do six months of long distance, and then I'll move away from all my friends and employment opportunities to be with her," I'm just not optimistic about anything. I'll get around to it someday, I guess...

 

I'm just trying to work out why you don't cook together.

 

She's actually an amazing cook, but she hates cooking. I like cooking, but I have zero talent in that area. I've enjoyed the handful of times that we've stayed in and made something, but she definitely hasn't, so home cooking is more of a "special occasion" thing for us.

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I am in the process of putting aside 2–3 months at the beginning of next year for a writing sabbatical.  Get a sublet somewhere and complete two of the plays I've been working on—maybe also the video game scripts I've been telling myself I'll write?

 

In practice, though, this means quitting my job, leaving NJ and NYC, and finding someplace tolerable to be unemployed for a while.  Then magically finding a new job right away in my mid-thirties?

 

I'm thinking of doing all of this in Vancouver, a warmer, milder city than New York.  Does anyone know how easy/fun it is to be in the city during the winter?  I also thought about Dublin (still warmer than NYC!) but the sublets were significantly more expensive.

 

Or does anyone have any leads for cool cities, sublets, and situations where I can basically hole up with a laptop and a spiral notebook?  Or people I should collaborate with?  If I'm pushing the reset button on my life I might as well make it count.

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My sister lives in downtown Vancouver (works at UBC) and it's pretty expensive for her and her boyfriend to rent a 500sqft place, by Canadian standards anyway. I think it's one of our most expensive cities. That said, if you can afford it (and if you're coming from New York, I'm sure the most expensive places in Canada feel like nothing), it's a beautiful place. Really fun, and one of the nicest places to winter while still being in the country. Being just on the other side of the Rockies, I end up spending most of my vacations either in the city of Vancouver or on the Island. I think I prefer the Island myself, but I'm a dude who likes camping and such and even if you end up in the city, it's just a ferry ride away. Either one would be a great place to take a break and get some work done.

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I'm afraid if you want to live alone then Dublin just is expensive and shitty quality. You could probably just share a house apartment/if you don't mind people. Though I'm stull still not sure how cheap that is compared to other cities.

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I can recommend the notheastern Netherlands if you want to clear your head & live relatively cheaply. If you end up close to or in Groningen you also have a very energetic student city available.

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I have my own little house for €400 a month, but i'm getting a special deal from my brother's in-laws. It is 10 mins walk from the city centrea, all mod cons and nearby shops.

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Thanks everybody for the input!  I'm not opposed to sharing an apartment, but since I'd likely be in the apartment for most of the day, I wouldn't want a situation that would be distracting for me and an imposition for them.

 

Downtown Vancouver is out of my price range, but the other neighborhoods look OK and walking/public transit-friendly.  When looking at Ireland I also looked outside of Dublin, but I found it tough to tell whether or not I would need a car.

 

And I never thought about the Netherlands—I'm just reading now how thoroughly English has muscled in on Dutch throughout your country, osmosisch.  I apologize!

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