Jump to content
gdf

Life

Recommended Posts

A classmate brought up networking being important (yeah like I haven't heard that before) when referring to the creative industry, but it could be about any industry really. She also brought up the importance of being likeable, which I have a hard time with because while I'm not grumpy, my real self, around people unless we are close, I often don't have the time or interest to work at trying to connect with a bunch of people at past companies I have been at.

 

I also recently heard a lecture from a concept artist talking about how important making connections with people in the game industry is because it's not a meritocracy. But she was saying just going to events with the idea of networking is superficial and should not be done, you should be out to make real friends with people or everyone will think you are fake. This made my blood boil. Since I arrived in Austin, I was going for a few years to game developer meet ups where the strict rule is to not ask for a job. However I always thought this was stupid and disingenuous because that is why most people are going, considering half of the people are looking for work and if they get employed they tend to skip it. I stopped going late 2013 when I realized none of the connections I made ever led to me getting a job when I needed one. I think it's silly to expect one to go to these with the idea of meeting a bunch of random people and genuinely be interested in being friends with them. It's all a bunch of pretending, in general no one has time for this stuff, it's really hard as an adult to keep up a social life with your real close friends and family let alone a bunch of strangers that may lead to a job.

 

Plus I feel like if you are gonna get a friend, it'll happen naturally as a good fit, which it has in fact for me from professional settings.

 

Then this ties into how asking for job candidates to fit the "company culture" is a big thing in the tech industry now. Usually the company culture entails a bunch of twenty something white guys with nerf darts and who unironically ride scooters around the office. Basically that MOST FUNNEST PLACE TO WORK Pixar thing they always tout in their documentaries. That seems so miserable to me. And I am upset because I am bad at faking interest because I usually have a billion things on my end I gotta get to and it comes down to again handling my actual social life instead of trying to fit in with these people. Even though I'm a white guy, a lot of these types tend to be sheltered rich kids, which I've never got along with since my family didn't have a ton of money and I never did the stuff rich white kids are supposed to in their teens, like join youth groups and go to church, get involved with sports, have a car that is not some 1993 used Toyota (that I had to save up a lot for from a bad job), travel to foreign countries, live in a house with two stories, and not really work a day in their life until after they finish college. I spent most of my teens hanging out with a bunch of juvenile delinquents who tended to have less money and more problems than I did and our recreational activities were often just doing drugs or vandalism. I don't even understand fully why I gravitated towards people like this at that time, often they were bad and dishonest friends and this completely contrasted with me diligently doing my homework and good grades and doing those AP classes where I basically spent years not having a conversations with anyone and putting my head down in class with my Walkman on when I finished my work. I just didn't have anything to talk about with these shiny people in a completely different world and different zip code. Later they lightened up some (and me as well) my senior year of high school.

 

Now I'm gonna be 30 in two months and I fear I'll be even further from connecting with 20 something shiny white dudes and I'll be obsolete at creative companies the more I age. I've talked to some people on this who are usually not the right skin tone or are "too old" who feel the discrimination when they are not people who can fit in with all the needed extracurricular activity to secure their jobs or are just simply and subtly discriminated against. Then the crunch becomes unacceptable for people who may have gotten married or have had children who could very well still do a 40 hours a week and do a good job, but it's expected of 20 something white dudes to make work their life. Work hard and play hard or whatever the fuck. I think this culture fit bullshit needs to disappear, it's just going to keep status quo ideas perpetuating which is even worse for creative industries.

 

I suppose some would contest that to achieve the American Dream means you just try really hard and part of trying really hard is steeping yourself in a company's culture and giving up all your free time to social interactions for the sake of networking, but I think that sucks.

 

tl;dr I'm sad I'm not whitey enough and I'm whining about networking.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Eh, I doubt it's your fault, just shitty people. I had one girl just ignore me after a few dates.

I got an apologetic text a few weeks later, acknowledging her immaturity, and like an absolute class act, I ignored it.

It's such a cowardly move to just completely ignore someone, be glad you're not still dating someone who can be like that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If it's any consolation, gerb, I'm pretty much the same way.

 

I got my current job through "networking" AKA I went to school with the guy who got me the interview. That friendship developed naturally.

 

But when I first started going to GDC, I was going with the intention to "meet people" and ostensibly "develop relationships" with said people, because that's what I was told to do. It was fucking miserable all the time and felt so fake and ugh I hated it. I only started enjoying GDC once I actually had a job and it was obvious I wasn't trying to get one. Ugh.

 

griddle: I know but it doesn't make it any less shitty to know. ): I'm just saaaaaaaaaad.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My girlfriend broke up with me last night. Its not a total shock, she has been snippy and distant lately, so I was already a little worried. We have been growing apart lately and really don't share many interests anymore. I am actually surprisingly ok considering we were together for 4 years. I am already looking for apartments and signing up for dating sites. Maybe i can meet someone nerdier.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Woah, I missed that whole networking thing, which is totally relevant. I'm going to a conference in a few days, and as my current job ends in a few months, I need to network, and find a new potential boss, since the idea of working in my current group fills me with dread. There's going to be a lot of big dogs there, so I have to be smart and likeable.

I don't have the issue of it being a load of twenty something white guys (like me...) but I'm not a particularly confident person, and therefore come across as very defensive and dislikable on first meeting. Which incidentally is why I struggle to make friends,and tended to have 1 or 2 best friends throughout school, because no one likes me before they know me for a year.

It's going to suck. I have no idea how to talk to people. My mind is always full of "what am I going to going to say next?" Also, I never know how to talk to the important people. If I get introduced, I'm ok, but just walking up to the guy who discovered alternate splicing is so incredibly daunting.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Which incidentally is why I struggle to make friends,and tended to have 1 or 2 best friends throughout school, because no one likes me before they know me for a year.

Hey me too.

 

Which brings me to another thing I wanna cry about: I have no real friends were I live. In the past I have made good friends and then after some time had to leave (be it because of school or work or lack of work or new work), and so all the people who I might potentially become really good friends with... I don't even get to see. Sure I keep up with a few of them online, through gaming or just talking, but none of it ever goes past the superficial at that point.

 

I watch movies and TV shows about people who have real, good, strong friendships and I'm just like "I wish that was me".

 

Man I have been feeling so down lately, just in general. Well, I usually feel pretty shitty about myself and my life, but it's been worse than usual.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Also on networking, I too have problem with, mainly my total lack of one.

While I did graduated in history, it take around five years in the university to realize that just maybe I don´t like history on the level enough to continue to a post graduation or anything else and I was becoming really unhappy (I mean beyond the average "sometimes you got to do things you don´t like"), between this and the lack of perspective of job or anything (to make things worst I did degree at research, not teaching). How I got in this? well in Brazil public university often require a entrance exam, which is done once per year and can be really hard depending on the course, I tried for other areas before, but end doing something I shouldn´t - set for a course which I could get (also because I do like history), because I felt guilty by failing other times. Once there I forced myself to continue (again, due guilty feelings).

But I did professional course on Graphical Design, and this time I felt I did the right thing. However, I am at this strange situation, where I have almost no network, I am trying my best - by updating my behance profile, sending mails to job offers, but so far I haven´t be able to either get some visibility* or a job or any kind of freelance (which often end with my mail begin ignored, also I am not finding much offers which don´t help at all, even on Linkedin**) its not very encouraging, specially with our (Brazil) economy not going very well.

Despite this I am more happy now with my choice and all thanks to people which I meet outside my original course (which was kind very closed, I mean they kept very little contact with other people), many of them which I meet in anime events and in our local japanese fashion community, which give me more different perspective and views.

* Small rant about Behance: I kind just use because I might need a profile/portfolio in a more "serious" place, but visibility there is just so low that I am not sure if it is helping or not. If I get one view once in while I might call it miracle (and I mean profile view, project often go much longer without anyone seeing it), while in other sites, such Pixiv or Deviant Art, I do get much more views, still it is so hard to get any feedback in any of them. I guess much because instead of dividing the follower updates in folders (like in DA) they post this huge wall of updates which is almost impossible to track or remember who is who and that often cause you to not even showing or or begin flooded by people with more projects.

** Linkedin : a friend, and one of my few "contacts" often sign praises to it, she got most of her network and freelance there, but I guess I am not very good using it, still have a I keep a profile there, since might help. I am not sure if I should add more people and groups or what I should do.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't have the issue of it being a load of twenty something white guys (like me...) but I'm not a particularly confident person, and therefore come across as very defensive and dislikable on first meeting. Which incidentally is why I struggle to make friends,and tended to have 1 or 2 best friends throughout school, because no one likes me before they know me for a year.

Yeah I don't think that's fair because likeability is actually a criteria when often your work might be couped up in a room only talking to a few people. I feel like there's a lot with tech culture on you being a coworker and a friend, which only happens easily when it's homogeneous. And really besides just being a person who is good on a team, having the charisma to network is a whole different hard to develop skill to ask for.

 

Also it's weird to me how useless Linkedin is. I often get a lot of local connections from random people I've never met, just because they need a network, but they have no personalized message or anything. I accept them anyway, because why not? I think it's just a site that helps get everyone into this networking mindset. In terms of art jobs, a good way to circumvent this stuff is to just look at people's portfolios every time, even though people who give hiring tips want to say the person hiring is too busy. Everyone is busy, whatever. Looking at portfolios that are only referred by a coworker or friend doesn't help diversity.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

LinkedIn has a very high opinion of me because of how many friends(/total strangers that added me) blindly endorse me for skills that I'm not really deserving of.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thinking about how weird it is to find out how important someone is to your family after they've died even though they feel almost like a complete stranger yet I know for a fact I'd met the guy a few times.

Also frank discussions of funerals about/with parents who both have limited (a few years) expectancies.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Valorian, 

 

Have you cold called every agency in your vicinity? I know a few designers who have found work that way, both freelance or temp to perm. A lot of those places are constantly hiring and rarely advertising, because they always need a full and rotating stable of designers. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had my first ever interview today. I think it went okay, but it's kinda hard to know isn't it?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm sure it was fine! Hoping for the best for you.

When you hear back (or when you get back in touch), if they went with another candidate, it is perfectly acceptable to ask for feedback. Interviewing is a hard skill to improve, and any feedback can be made to be valuable if you approach it right.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Tonight's the first night of another period of 40+ days of night shift.  This one started less fun that most because I drove all the way to work, realized I forgot my badge, and had to do another round trip.  Although I did use the time to get through the latest Idle Thumbs so guess it wasn't all bad.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Valorian, 

 

Have you cold called every agency in your vicinity? I know a few designers who have found work that way, both freelance or temp to perm. A lot of those places are constantly hiring and rarely advertising, because they always need a full and rotating stable of designers. 

 

Yeah, maybe I should really take a more direct approach. I will look in to that and ask my friend to see if she have some suggestions of who I should try first. In the meantime there was a replay of one email I send,but it was a automated response to answer a questionnaire, still it is something.

 

This sunday the girls which organize our local japanese fashion community did a really good meeting, it was a lot fun and the place, a cofee/bar they choose was very good.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Moving tomorrow, today is my last day of work and I'm just feeling so weird cleaning out my office. By a stroke of bureaucratic luck, I've just been approved yesterday to continue my position (I manage the database that my non-profit uses, design it for use in new programs, and run statistics for grant reporting) remotely. That said, it's going to be an entirely different beast - this job is currently full-time in an office with a decent amount of facetime with coworkers, new position will be part-time and hours will be worked on an as-needed basis from home. I'll need to do training on how to use the database for new employees remotely via remote meeting software, via written materials, or in a recorded webinar-style thing. Communication with my boss is certain to be almost exclusively via email. This is going to be weird.

 

Anyways, I'm glad to continue having a source of income which was one of my biggest concerns in moving. Neither my wife nor I have jobs lined up, we're moving for family reasons as my mother-in-law is going through a divorce and we're moving in with her for emotional support and eventually to help pay the mortgage.

 

Now I just need to deal with the fact that we're supposed to start driving our moving van in about 16 hours and I've still only finished about half of my packing. As it turns out, moving is the worst. Also, I'm starting to feel really sentimental about this place as I'm doing my last drive down X street or my last walk from Y restaurant back to my office.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

so this happened

post-33948-0-31690200-1443846565_thumb.jpg

 

its pretty much the greatest.  ive got a lot of thoughts - but cant quite articulate it all just yet.  But we've been home since wednesday, he sleeps great and eats better.  My wife is well and getting back to full power

 

its really great, i never would have thought been into this, but im pumped on all fronts and look forward to the next challenge

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So this guy I never met but frequented a message board I've been posting on for more than a decade passed away and we all just found out.

It's really fucking me up. This is a horrible feeling.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm sorry to hear that.  I had something similar happen to me a number of years ago.  It's surprising how much you can care about a person you've never met before.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey St. Louis people (aka Gormongous), I'm assuming you're well aware of the impending nuclear fallout in St. Louis?  I had seen my StL friends posting about this over the last couple of weeks, but someone who has work experience in disaster preparedness just put up a Facebook post on what to expect and what preparations people should be making now for when/if the fire hits the radioactive part of the dump.  Somber reading. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey St. Louis people (aka Gormongous), I'm assuming you're well aware of the impending nuclear fallout in St. Louis?  I had seen my StL friends posting about this over the last couple of weeks, but someone who has work experience in disaster preparedness just put up a Facebook post on what to expect and what preparations people should be making now for when/if the fire hits the radioactive part of the dump.  Somber reading. 

 

This is the first that I've heard about it, but... Shit, I don't know. I guess I'll start doing some research.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is the first that I've heard about it, but... Shit, I don't know. I guess I'll start doing some research.

 

My friend made his post public so people could share it, so reckon it's fine to post it here (spoilered because long).

 

Hey friends: Lets talk about radiation. Specifically, let's talk about West Lake Landfill and how it might affect you. No tl;dr here, because this is complex subject matter. So buckle up and put your learning hats on if you're in, and I'll post a funny picture of my dog in a minute if you're out.

 

Preface: I don't want to talk about the politics or economics of whether or not West Lake Landfill should have nuclear waste in it, or whether EPA should have removed it instead of capping it in-place, or whether Republic Services has done a shitty job of handling either the waste or the fire. That's not the point of this post. This post is about dealing with what could maybe happen, what the hazards are, and what steps are prudent to mitigate the risks involved in the situation.

 

In case you havent been paying attention, there is a giant landfill up in Bridgeton/Earth City that has been a literal demonstration of the metaphorical garbage fire that is Saint Louis. It is an underground, slow-burning landfill fire that has been slowly approaching a special reserved area of the landfill that has a lot of low-level nuclear waste (lots of contaminated dirt) from the Manhattan Project.

 

It is a Superfund site, but the best remediation/cleanup plan for it was determined to be "cover it up with more dirt and leave it the hell alone". This would have been a decent plan, (more on that later) except for the subsequent underground fire. If and when this underground fire reaches the radioactive section of the landfill, it will almost certainly Become A Serious Problem.

 

The danger here is that if the fire reaches the radioactive material, it will begin to rise up into the air, either directly as combustion products, or attached to smoke and soot particles that can escape from the ground. There have been several instances in the recent past where the smoke from the fire has reached the surface and blown in the wind. The term used for radioactive particles in the air is conventionally called nuclear fallout. Yes, that fallout.

 

General estimates for where this fallout will go are in the range of 15 miles to the east of the landfill, but there's not a lot of confidence in that direction because it's based on what direction the wind is blowing. On average though, we're probably talking about 15 miles to the east before the fallout might settle out of the air. A good rule of thumb to follow is that if you've ever smelled the landfill fire before, you're going to get some fallout if any fallout is blowing in the wind. That said, this information is mostly relevant for my friends who live in the western/northern suburbs of Saint Louis County, northern St. Louis City, and the northern parts of the Metro East, with a lesser possibility of being applicable to St. Charles or points further south throughout St. Louis County and City.

 

Now, here's some good news: The main radioactive elements present in the landfill are Uranium and Thorium. Both of these elements are pretty close to a best-case scenario for fallout, because they're pretty weak. Both elements decay into a series of other elements before finally reaching their stable state, Lead. But the entire decay chain involves the release alpha and beta particles, without any gammas. The * really * good news is that neither alphas or betas will generally penetrate your skin, so the main risk of receiving a radiation dose is ingestion or inhalation. A dust mask will keep it out of your nose and mouth, and goggles will keep it out of your eyes. If you're merely exposed to this fallout without getting any inside your body, a cool shower will do a solid job of removing it.

 

So lets talk about what to do if this happens. There will be a lot of official instructions, but they're all going to basically come from the old Civil Defense nuclear war playbook. Which is fine, people have spent half a century worrying about this stuff. But you should get ready for it now so you arent freaking out about it later. In general, "what to do" falls into 2 categories: 'Shelter in place' aka bugging-in, or 'evacuate' aka bugging-out.

 

Bugging in:

If the sirens ever start blaring because there is fallout in the air, and your home is in the affected area, you'll get a good chance to use that stupid duct tape and plastic sheeting that the Department of Homeland Security told you to buy after 9/11. You'll want to tape up the interior of your windows and doors to minimize the amount of particulates that can make their way inside your house. Tape up any kitchen and bathroom exhaust vents while you're at it. Don't worry, you wont suffocate, your house is not airtight. The goal to reduce the amount of dust and smoke that makes its way inside. Neither alpha nor beta particles will penetrate a wall or a roof into your home.

 

If you decide to ride it out at home, plan on spending as much time inside as is humanly possible. You don't need a moon suit to be safe outside in an alpha/beta environment, but you should have a good-fitting dust mask and covering your hair at an absolute minimum, and limit your exposure to an absolute minimum. You'd want to decontaminate yourself before coming back inside, to avoid bringing radioactive material inside your exterior barriers. This means stripping down and hosing yourself off before re-entring, and leaving your clothes outside. You should probably plan on letting your dogs poo in the house, unfortunately.

 

Hopefully you have enough non-perishable food and water in the house to avoid travelling for the duration of the problem. (Pro-tip: bottled water is going to get real popular after the sirens go off, so stock up now. It's cheap). Water may or may not be contaminated, but it would be very dilute even if it were. It would be safe to wash with and to use in the toilet, but if the news says its not safe to drink, don't drink it. Keep a close eye and ear on the news, for updates on the situation regarding when its safe enough to go back to normal.

 

Bugging out:

If you work in the affected area, or are driving through the affected area, you probably don't want to be stuck at work for a couple weeks, and will want to GTFO for home. So do what you do every time you're on I-270 and you can smell the landfill: Set your car's cabin vent to Recirculate and turn off the fan, to keep from drawing in more outside air. If your car is new and has a cabin air filter, you may want to leave the fan on at a low speed to gradually pull the particles out of the air. If you have a dust mask in the glove box, now would be a good time to put it on. Don't dawdle and get to wherever you're going. When you get there, make sure to be a good houseguest and decontaminate yourself before entering. I hope you brought extra clothes, or you'll end up looking like Vincent and Jules at the end of Pulp Fiction.

 

Speaking of clothes, you should have a bug-out bag handy at home, in case you decide that you'd rather live normally at someone else's place instead of pretending you survived WW3 at home.

 

This bag should have at a minimum:

* A dust mask

* some close-fitting eye protection

* a hat

* a couple changes of clothes

* some food in case you get hungry and don't feel like stopping at the drive-thru.

* any medications you need to stay sane and/or alive

* some cash money

* a small transistor radio

* a phone charger

* contact information for friends/family

* critical documents related to your house/dwelling like a homeowners policy number and contact info for your insurance agent, or some way you can prove you live where you live, to get past the police when you come back home.

 

And the MOST important thing you should have is an agreed-upon plan of where you're going to go that you've discussed in advance.

 

So, in summary (haha, just kidding there *was* a tl;dr!), you should have a plan for what to do in the events that you live within the affected area, are passing through the effected area, or are going to leave the affected area. If you're going to stay in the area, you should have a basic ability to limit the ability of dust and smoke to enter your dwelling, via sealing doors and windows and decontaminating yourself prior to re-enty. You should plan on remaining indoors whenever possible, and protect your eyes and airway when outside in the fallout area. You should listen to the radio and watch TV for emergency instructions.

 

If you are leaving the area, to head to a friends house outside the affected area you should have a pre-prepared emergency bag with enough stuff to get you through a few days, including critical medications, along with home-related documents.

 

What happens if you don't do any of this shit? I don't think the radiation hazard will be enough to cause radiation sickness or death due to acute exposure, but you could expect to see an elevated health risk and the population would see and aggregate reduced longevity in proportion to their internal exposure.

 

If there's any desire to see sources for any of the material covered in this excruciatingly long post, let me know in the comments and I'll get you some links.

 

Get safe and stay safe.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×