pabosher Posted July 20, 2015 if conceived on New Years have to count the full month of January so kid ends up being born Sept 1 by conventional month count - Mid September by gestational full term. Or i could be putting my foot deeper into my mouth - lets go with that A baby's term is 9 months, right? One month after Jan 1st is Feb 1st 2 is March 1st 3 is April 1st 4 is May 1st 5 is June 1st 6 is July 1st 7 is August 1st 8 is September 1st 9 is October 1st I'm sure I come across as a dick, but I don't mean to. These sorts of maths things always intrigue me, the way that people instinctively think about numbers. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
undermind9 Posted July 20, 2015 Congratulations! I was extremely happy to read this book when I got my first. A lot of common sense, but also a lot of somewhat counter-intuitive things, mostly backed by research. thanks for the recommendation! its in the mail on the way RE: Months - now im super self-conscious of my counting ability and after using calendar and counting out a few times i think i did put my foot deep into my own mouth. +38 weeks from jan1 puts us at sept 30 and oct 6 could be in that realm of New years conception. Perhaps I am projecting my discomfort thinking that on New Years Eve people make unprotected decisions, whereas we've been talking and planning for a while, just happens to have been a January hit too much info? its weird, and yes getting lots of unsolicited unhelpful commentary and advice. Classic "oh sleep now!" and the like, but very little constructive thoughts; perhaps how to communicate with your partner while in the thrall of midnight feedings, and self-doubt about handling your child, or even worse if the kid doesnt seem to respond positively to a parent's touch or comfort. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dibs Posted July 20, 2015 9 months is that time that is commonly referenced, but a baby takes longer than that. 39 weeks is a more accurate timeframe, but, surprise, the baby will have its own schedule. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Reyturner Posted July 20, 2015 its weird, and yes getting lots of unsolicited unhelpful commentary and advice. Classic "oh sleep now!" and the like, but very little constructive thoughts; perhaps how to communicate with your partner while in the thrall of midnight feedings, and self-doubt about handling your child, or even worse if the kid doesnt seem to respond positively to a parent's touch or comfort.Personally, I was surprised how naturally holding my first kid came as I had only held a couple of infants in my life previously and I was always terrified I would break them. My daughter has a lot of attachment / separation issues with her mom, and for months I couldn't be left alone with her as she would literally scream bloody blue murder the entire time (she has a truly heroic stamina, not to mention a wail like a banshee). That was hard on both of us, mentally for me and physically for my wife as I wouldn't even be able to settle her when she woke up at night. But, thankfully that's gotten a lot better and that all seems like ancient history. Having kids is amazing and excruciating: something that's worth keeping in mind is that old proverb about the saying etched into King Solomon's ring: "This to shall pass". Cherish the good times and remember that the hard times with infants are as inevitable as they are temporary. You'll get through it. Hope that helps at all and isn't too cheesy and lame. Kids made me cheesy and lame. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
elmuerte Posted July 20, 2015 9 months is that time that is commonly referenced, but a baby takes longer than that. 39 weeks is a more accurate timeframe, but, surprise, the baby will have its own schedule. Just get more women and you'll be able to push the schedule ahead. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
osmosisch Posted July 21, 2015 The adage that helps me the most is that children are the most annoying with those they love/trust the most, because the feeling of safety lets them explore boundaries to the absolute limit. OF course since those limits are then yours, that's not very pleasant. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dualhammers Posted July 21, 2015 Pretty excited to be going on a month-long trip starting tomorrow! Taking the train to Chicago then up to Canada for a few weeks. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
osmosisch Posted July 21, 2015 I'm always fascinated by American stories of taking the train. It's such an integral part of my transportation here, and (from what I hear) such a special thing there. I wish I'd had the opportunity to go on a train trip when I was on that side of the pond. Enjoy, Dualhammers! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
N1njaSquirrel Posted July 21, 2015 Congrats on the Kid Undermind! Also, regarding birthdays, mine is maybe the worst - 29th December. Slap bang between Christmas and New Year's, two of the biggest yearly celebrations (in the UK). A lot of joint presents that do not amount to the same worth as having two separate presents. I know that sounds really selfish, but it does grate on me when an uncle is like 'oh have this slightly more expensive soap because it's both your birthday AND Christmas present!'. It also means that December is a bunch of celebrations, then a huge glut of 50 weeks till my next celebratory period. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dibs Posted July 21, 2015 My nephew's birthday is on the 27th December N1nja. I'll try not to become that uncle:P Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
N1njaSquirrel Posted July 21, 2015 Do so, and you'll be that newphew's best Uncle! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dibs Posted July 21, 2015 I got him 2 separate presents for his first birthday, and 2 cards, and birthday paper on his birthday pressie and everything. My sis-in-law had insisted that he would have a birthday in addition to christmas, but i think she was surprised by the gusto that we all took to the idea with! Edit: I'm his only uncle. He has lots of aunts:P Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Badfinger Posted July 21, 2015 I'm always fascinated by American stories of taking the train. It's such an integral part of my transportation here, and (from what I hear) such a special thing there. I wish I'd had the opportunity to go on a train trip when I was on that side of the pond. Enjoy, Dualhammers! The interstate highway system is both wonderful and terrible for reasons like this. Combining that with the pure size of North America and low population density (relatively, in general), even when public transportation makes sense overall it's often more personally convenient to drive. There's a perfectly usable train I could take into Philly if I was going on a day trip, but considering it's 15-20 minutes to drive to the train station and 30-40 to just drive straight to center city, might as well drive and just pony up for parking the twice a year I might do that. It's also pretty unfeasible to ditch my car completely because of the places I need or want to go where public transportation is thoroughly NOT convenient. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Griddlelol Posted July 22, 2015 My girlfriend just told me she's moving back to the Czech Republic because she can't afford it in the UK and the job market is awful in Manchester. I'm real sad about it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
N1njaSquirrel Posted July 22, 2015 Ugh that sucks so bad Griddle. Is there no way you could relocate to a place in the UK with a better job market? (I know that sounds a lot easier than it is in reality though. sorry if that sounded flippant.) I got him 2 separate presents for his first birthday, and 2 cards, and birthday paper on his birthday pressie and everything. My sis-in-law had insisted that he would have a birthday in addition to christmas, but i think she was surprised by the gusto that we all took to the idea with! Edit: I'm his only uncle. He has lots of aunts:P That's awesome. What a lucky guy (I'm sure that my parents thought the same thing when I was young. I don't know, however, as I was a toddler then.) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Griddlelol Posted July 22, 2015 My current job is coming to a close in 6-9 months, after which I intend to move back down to London/South East where the job market is massively superior. That's too long for her to wait though. We will try long distance, but I don't have faith that it'll work. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
N1njaSquirrel Posted July 22, 2015 That's rubbish. Sorry to hear that man. Long distance can work, especially if it's not a permanent thing. My friend's sister got married to a guy who she had a LDR with when she was teaching in Japan for a year. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Apple Cider Posted July 22, 2015 Have a suspicion long-time friend is slowly freezing me out for no reason I can fathom. Have been having a slow panicky meltdown for the past 24 hours, currently hate my life and trying not to just lose my shit at work crying. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jennegatron Posted July 22, 2015 We will try long distance, but I don't have faith that it'll work. Ewokskick & I were long distance for 2 years of our relationship, so if you want some tips on how to navigate a long distance relationship, feel free to let me know. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JonCole Posted July 22, 2015 I was also long distance with my wife for a couple years when we were still dating, so I'd be happy to lend any advice that I can. Though I imagine going from short-distance -> long-distance is a bit more difficult than vice versa, unfortunately. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bjorn Posted July 22, 2015 The lady and I were long distance (6 hours apart, so a manageable distance for periodic weekend trips) for about 6 months towards the beginning of our relationship. It's definitely a thing that can be managed and maintained, but it does introduce other, unique stressors to a relationship on top of all the normal sources of stress. Have a suspicion long-time friend is slowly freezing me out for no reason I can fathom. Have been having a slow panicky meltdown for the past 24 hours, currently hate my life and trying not to just lose my shit at work crying. *hugs* hope you make it through your day okay. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jennegatron Posted July 22, 2015 I was also long distance with my wife for a couple years when we were still dating, so I'd be happy to lend any advice that I can. Though I imagine going from short-distance -> long-distance is a bit more difficult than vice versa, unfortunately. Yeah, we were short distance for a year, then long distance for 2 and now short distance for 2 years and counting. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SuperBiasedMan Posted July 22, 2015 Yeah I was long distancing my girlfriend for basically the first 3 years of our 4 year relationship. I don't feel particularly qualified to give you any advice but there's definitely a way through it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Griddlelol Posted July 23, 2015 For me it's that one of the things I value most from a relationship requires being with someone. Not sex solely, but everything that goes with living with someone. Being in contact when sitting watching TV, cooking together, helping out with chores. That stuff means a lot to me, and it all disappears in a long distance thing. I've tried it before with an ex and it failed badly. Also, I'm awful at phone calls, even video calls. I just run out of things to say because I feel like there's loads of pressure to talk. It makes it seem like I'm not interested in talking with someone. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dibs Posted July 23, 2015 Yeah I was long distancing my girlfriend for basically the first 3 years of our 4 year relationship. I have nothing to add to the conversation, but i had to chime in to say, the way you have constructed that sentence makes it look like a PUA tactic. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites