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I have a wake-up light, it simulates morning sunrise with a gradual increase up to the point when you want to wake up. Doesn't work for everyone, but I do know it helps a lot of people with seasonal sleeping issues.

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Do something with your day. If all you're doing is looking for jobs on the internet then that doesn't require you to be up at usual times. Force yourself to go out and talk to employers or agencies and eventually you'll get back to usual.

 

Source: I had the same problem when I finished University. 

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I found setting an alarm to nag me to go to bed every evening at a reasonable time helped, otherwise I'd fall into the internet rabbit hole for hours without realising it.

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In conclusion to my previous post, I'm just a big baby. When I met up with my parents they did say that they thought I made the wrong choice, but they entirely listened to my points and agreed with me in the end.

 

So I guess me worrying about them thinking I'm too immature was me being presumptuous about them being close minded and ultimately showed me as being immature.

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Oof. I got bad news about someone today and it makes me worried for him. I'm going to be vague since I'm discussing his private life in part, but basically he's quite poorly motivated and passive. He doesn't actually take steps to do anything and just coasts through life. He wants to make games, but he doesn't have a strong inclination to actually work on art/coding/design skills, and he lacks the dedicated motivation to follow through with them a lot. When he does stuff I try to be encouraging and motivating, but he's generally hard to talk to.

 

You often have to drag conversation out of him if it's not about some aspect to nerd culture. So today I heard that what I thought was going to be a positive boosting force for him, is now dead. He can't continue with it any more, and it turns out his interest in it had been massively waning over the past year. He now has no plans, and because of the way he operates, he's allowing his mother to just suggest that he gets a job, any job, to keep him busy for the next year. I have doubts about if he can get a job given the current climate and his shiftlessness. But even if he does, that wont stop him aimlessly drifting through life AND letting stuff happen to him with no inclination to decide for himself.

 

I'm genuinely wondering at this point if I should try to talk to him, not that I'm even sure what I'd say. I have never had this same mindset as him, I'm very driven even if I have other motivation problems. So I haven't had to actually deal with the same thing and weirdly that even makes me feel a little guilty. But I'm just worried that since so few people can really talk to him, if I don't try then he'll just keep drifting and not address it.

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As someone who's more like your friend than you, if you find out what, if anything, could help with this type of mentality I'd like to hear it.

 

I'll definitely say that I would be very happy for someone to have this type of conversation with me, because it shows you really care which is a wonderful thing. He might not be the type of person to see it that way though.

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That's how my wife gets when she misses her ADHD medication. Maybe he should see a doctor?

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My life this week has been unbelievably surreal. I've been running reporters, from a small local reporter to people in national newsrooms, away for my landlady, who was in a terrible medical accident. The girl who lives upstairs in the house I live in got kicked out because she was keeping animals she killed with her crossbow in jars full of vodka in her bedroom and the smell of rotting death (along with her overpowering body odor) was just overwhelming and I was charged with supervising that eviction, along with trying to make her room look like a place where real people can go instead of the set of a b roll horror movie. Work has been super busy because the people I'm supposed to be training with have both been out with family health issues. And a lot of my own family drama on top of that.

I'm really glad I get a three day weekend, basically. This has been an unreal, busy week.

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What??? Mangela, you are definitely living the stranger than fiction side of life right now. Sorry to hear, hope it gets a little less crazy!

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Honestly, your life kinda sounds like the setup of a b horror movie for the last week.  Enjoy the weekend, you deserve it!

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I can see the sitcom now. Mangela and Jeoffry solving crimes together. Turns out, Jeoffry was the murderer all along. (The crossbow was the clue).

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I'm having some rage issues recently. I've always had a pretty short fuse, but I seem to be blowing up over the most trivial shit. I don't like it, but holding the anger in just makes me feel like I'm missing something.

It's gotten to the point that I've actually shouted at co-workers, which is awful. They shrugged it off and we laughed about it a day later (it was over them wearing the wrong lab coat all the time), but it's still pretty awkward. Never done that before so I really feel like I need to get my anger under control again.

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Has anything change in your life recently? Schedule, habits, diet? It's completely possible something innocuous is causing the frustration and can be turned and fixed.

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As someone who's more like your friend than you, if you find out what, if anything, could help with this type of mentality I'd like to hear it.

 

I'll definitely say that I would be very happy for someone to have this type of conversation with me, because it shows you really care which is a wonderful thing. He might not be the type of person to see it that way though.

 

Hear, hear.

 

I definitely think that showing that you care is important. I'm not sure what to say to the guy though, as I seem to be stuck in the same kind of pattern as he is.

 

For me, just having someone to act as a kind of "bollplank"(as we say in Swedish), to bounce ideas off of feels like something that might help me figure out my path a bit more clearly. However, I can also see that falling into the same kind of situation he's had with his mum where the first best thing that gets mentioned is the one that is selected, so watch out for that if you go that route. 

 

Also... Mangela, that just sounds bonkers. 

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along with trying to make her room look like a place where real people can go instead of the set of a b roll horror movie

As terrible as that situation is, I laughed at this.

 

----

 

Life's been pretty good to me. 

 

- Changed my mindset and been keeping positive for these last weeks; it's done wonders for my health (mental, emotional, and physically) and my manic depression.

 

- On some meds finally: Gabapentin is a mood stabilizer and has helped calm me down a bit. The sad thing, it's an add-on and it's supposed to work in conjunction with another main med.

 

The main med I was taking was Abilify, but I had to stop taking it because it was making sleep all day and giving me the worst sore muscles. Abilify is suppose to help with my anger and psychosis (this is still in the air) that comes with being manic depressive, but the Gaba and my will power is helping.

 

- I'm enjoying my new job as a tour guide trainee at the state capitol museum. 

 

-Been meeting a lot of new people and women too (meeeeow). Haha/

 

-Going to my first burlesque show tomorrow; I got invited by one of the troupe members--and she's one I'm pursuing and we'll see how it goes. 

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I'm feeling pretty upset and stressed about some stuff lately and a break from some of the internet might be good for me. I dunno.

 

Also, still looking for a job. I've done two job interviews this week and I have another next week. I'm not really sure how I feel about the one I'm interviewing for next week though. It's probably the one I want most, but it comes with some huge caveats.

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Heard about this thread on the latest cast, and today felt like a good day to post. Life has been rough for me the last couple months. Here is just a smattering of things that have occurred:

1. Wife lost her Q/A Job after the entirely company was fired by the new CEO.

2. Panic attacks have become an almost daily occurrence, with symptoms mostly being chest pain that no doctor can explain.

3. Several failed projects have left me without any job prospects myself.

4. My dad died suddenly at the end of April of a heart attack. (Since my mom died when I was a teenager I'm now fully an adult).

Despite all this, however, I need to remember that I have a lot of good in my life as well:

I have a wonderful partner, my new doctor is helping me find a therapist and placed me on some drugs that seem to be helping, and my Dad's will left me an unexpected inheritance that will allow us to actually try our hand at starting a business rather than scrambling for another low-paying Q/A job.

I feel overwhelmed almost daily these days but i'm doing my best to keep going. Lurking around this forum is part of what helps me keep going. Folks like Danielle continue to inspire and encourage me. I know that I'm going to keep trying, come what may.

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Sucks about your wife, but if the new CEO fired everyone the company's probably going under anyway. Best of luck to you with the new venture - it will be rough, so be prepared, and try and use the time to learn as much as you can about why new businesses fail.

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2. Panic attacks have become an almost daily occurrence, with symptoms mostly being chest pain that no doctor can explain.

After suffering my first serious panic attack just after the turn of the year I was having chest pains which initially my doctor couldn't explain either, I had every heart test under the sun and came out fine. However after seeing a physio about back problems I'd been having at the time as well she suggested I try working light excersizes that stretched my chest muscles into my daily routine in case loosening up the are did some good.

I've since took up swimming and slowly but surely the pains have stopped occurring and my mood and general health have improved. Obviously swimming may not be a option for you but if you can find some equivalent light excersizes which you doctor approves of maybe you will see some benefit.

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Has anything change in your life recently? 

 

What hasn't? Working more, deadlines looming. Eating less, exercising more. Less sex as I'm always tired. Haven't had the time or energy to go out with friends. Weekends feel like they shoot past because I use them to catch up on sleep. 

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The girl who lives upstairs in the house I live in got kicked out because she was keeping animals she killed with her crossbow in jars full of vodka in her bedroom and the smell of rotting death (along with her overpowering body odor) was just overwhelming and I was charged with supervising that eviction, along with trying to make her room look like a place where real people can go instead of the set of a b roll horror movie.

I had to stay at a friend's house last night because this girl was sending my (still hospitalized) landlady texts of a violent enough tenor that she said it wouldn't be a bad idea for me to go somewhere else for the night.

But otherwise, the weekend was exactly what I needed after last week! Spent the entirety of the 4th drinking beer on a boat, so everything is chill and relaxed (aside from my knees and shoulders, which are sunburned as fuuuuuuuck).

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What hasn't? Working more, deadlines looming. Eating less, exercising more. Less sex as I'm always tired. Haven't had the time or energy to go out with friends. Weekends feel like they shoot past because I use them to catch up on sleep.

I was gonna ask, how is your sleep?

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Reasonable. I get around 6 to 7 hours a night. Then usually 8 to 9 on weekends. I have forced myself into being a morning person in the past year, which I'm not naturally, but it makes my day more productive.

I don't wake up tired, I'm just dead by late afternoon. Which is probably contributing to my overall low tolerance for frustration.

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I made a really sweet fort in my living room on Friday for my Destiny Iron Banner marathon. Luckily I have kids so it was easy to justify spending two hours covering our living room in blankets and other fort parts. But secretly, it wasn't for the kids, it was for me.

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The completed fort with my 58" plasma TV completely enclosed. The top of the blanket was stuffed into the mount for the blinds above the window.

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The entrance. Big enough that I didn't have to crouch too much to get inside.

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Pool cue cases propped up on the couch to raise the fort ceiling high enough for me to get line of site to the top of the tv while lying down in the fort.

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Pool cue and another random pole tied to the chair to raise the fort ceiling on the other side. Also, random bits of yarn holding major structural elements together.

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Destiny. Way better when you're playing it in a fort.

Also, pro fort building tip: use lots of bag clips to hold the blankets together.

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