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How's everyone's life going?

 

I'm about to have a company 'payday' dinner with a boss that everyone hates. So much that when people found out he's coming, about half dropped out. This is going to be fun...

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Although I'm a Star Trek fan, I was never a huge fan of Spock as a character.  Leonard Nimoy on the other hand was great.  To repeat a paraphrase I've seen around on Twitter, "I have been, and always shall be, your fan"

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How's everyone's life going?

 

After working several years as a tester I'm now to take over a much larger role in the company.

While this is tremendously exciting, it's also quite nerve-wracking. It's suddenly a whole lot of extra responsibility and expectations leveled at me that I didn't have before.

It's started quite well so far though!

 

How are things going for you Chris?  

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How's everyone's life going?

 

I got a new (used) car and tomorrow I go to San Francisco for GDC. That's good stuff.

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Celebrity deaths don't bum me out that often, but Nimoy passing is a real blow. He's one of those actors who was ever present through all the stages of my development as a kid. Not just from Star Trek, but also those weird documentary things he narrated, In Search of and Ancient Mysteries. I also had a couple of the Alien Voices audiobooks (or checked them out from the library, I can't quite remember).

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How's everyone's life going?

 

I was sick for two days this week, then got snowed in yesterday, today I'm at work and tomorrow I'm flying to England for a meeting on Tuesday (and hopefully viewing some apartments to rent when I move back). That means that in the 9 days from this Tuesday to next Wednesday I'll have worked exactly one.

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Hrm, things seem a little mixed around the ol' thumbs-o-sphere. I try to read a big chunk of this thread, and for what it's worth, I do think about the issues and problems and processing that a lot of people are dealing with. 

 

I am in New York to give a talk at the AMNH, and also for a book release party (at one point, Dave Eggers shook my hand and thanked me, since he had read my contribution to the book, which is the weirdest thing that's happened to me in a while), and I was at the Guggenheim earlier today seeing the On Kawara exhibition, which is wonderful, but there was one piece that struck me in particular. For a while, he started to send telegrams to his friends saying "I AM STILL ALIVE." I like to think about a place like Idle Thumbs, and one hundred million other online forums as a kind of version of this. At one point, Kawara wrote to a friend: "I AM NOT GOING TO COMMIT SUICIDE DON’T WORRY," and it was placed next to another telegram that said: "I AM NOT GOING TO COMMIT SUICIDE WORRY". 

 

Be well, everyone. 

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Was walking back into work after my lunch break, only to be greeted by the sight of my ex who after several years I broke up with just over a year ago (and haven't seen since) walking through the main entrance in the opposite direction. Bit weird, I thought.

Decided to put her name into the employee search once I got back to my desk — she recently started and is working in the other wing of the floor I'm on. Shit.

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How's everyone's life going?

So I'm making the transition from the sedatives that have been helping me to sleep after my panic attack last week, to a more sustainable anti anxiety drug for the medium term. It's tough though as I lessen the sedative dose there's distinct feelings of withdrawal

I've talked to a few more people about what happened since I last posted on here earlier this week, but Weirldy with my friends I feel uncomfortable not talking about it to them when I'm not face to face comparative to the relative anonymity offered here.

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I finally had the talk with my roommates (who I've known for 12 years and whose wedding I was best man in) about how living with them was just driving us apart and I need to move before the lease is up if they want to keep being friends with me. They both cried, but it went better than expected.

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So the kitten finally appeared. He's the most timid cat I've ever met! But we're slowly trying to win him over with space and kindness.

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This is going to be long and horrible and depressing so feel free to skip everything I'm about to say, except the last bit.

 

The last few months/year of my life has probably been the most stressful and depressing it's ever been.  About a year and a half ago I bought a brand new house (new construction, not previously owned).  It's the first home I've ever owned and it was one of those moments that made me feel like a real adult instead of some overgrown manchild.  But of course owning a home is expensive.  I make just enough to cover it and the other expenses I need and if that was the only problem I'd have been fine.  Except it wasn't.  One of the things I've been having trouble with but didn't want to talk about for a while was that my parents have a considerable amount of debt that they've needed my help with.  My father was laid off a number of years ago and hasn't been able to find a steady paying job since due to his age.  My mother doesn't work a regular job, instead she has a number of companies she's invested in.  Right now they're both working on several projects but don't have a regular income from any of them.  As a result I've had to make a number of financial moves that put me in a deep hole.

 

On top of that, work has been extremely stressful for me lately.  For the last 2 years or so I've been working on a large project (which I'm not at liberty to discuss).  Normally this type of thing would require a couple of engineers to do but it's largely been just me.  Because I'm working on one big project, on paper my output seems small since I'm not doing a different thing every week.  As a result of this, I got a negative performance review for last year.  The irony of this is I've never been busier.  I'm trying not to let it get to me and am instead attempting to use it as motivation to bury my management in progress reports showing all the things that have been going on.  But the work itself is requiring a lot of time and effort, including staying late a lot of the time (and because I'm salaried I don't get overtime pay usually, there are a few exceptions).

 

Both of these things are the reason my presence on these forums has dropped off a bit lately.  I don't have the time or energy to play a significant amount of games or talk about the other things I'd like to discuss around here.  I've tried to chime in where I can to show that I'm technically still around but it's been tough.

 

I'm aware that I'm complaining about things like my job and my house while many people (even around here) are having a much worse time than me with much less.  One positive thing I can say about all the terrible crap that's been happening in the world of gaming lately is that it's made me look at what I have and realize how lucky I am that I have a lot of it and am even in a position to complain in the first place.  I'm a straight, middle-class male (though I'm not white) so things could easily have been much harder.

 

That said, this last year has possibly been the worst of my life.  There's maybe some signs that it might get better this year but for now it continues to be a very trying experience.

 

Finally, I'd like to thank everyone at this community.  Chris, Jake, Sean, Danielle, and Nick (when he's around) have been one of the few constant sources of joy these past months.  I keep promising to send more candy treats and I feel bad that I'm constantly having to put that off.  I fully intend to rectify that someday.  These forums as well have been a great boon.  I'm so incredibly thankful that there's a community that's thoughtful, intelligent, supportive, funny, and perhaps most of all SANE that has let me be a part of it, especially in times like these.  And last but not least, a special thanks to Tegan for being a better friend to me than I really deserve.

 

Alright, I'm done for now.  Resume normal banter.

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Sorry to hear all that S.A.M.

 

I hope some of your parents projects pay off soon and relive the burden on you. Being more privileged than others doesn't mean our lives can't be hard, it just means they're not AS hard.

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That sucks, SAM. You may not want to discuss the nitty-gritty of all this, and this is probably the least of all your problems, but that negative performance review sounds like the result of shitty line management. Is there no way you can argue against that? I know you're super-busy already, but that shit stays on your employment record. You should at least have it on paper that you disagree with it...

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You probably don't want to hear this. but it sounds like you're on the receiving end of a death march project SAM. You need to find a way out of it as it can take you down.

If you feel like reading up on death marches I can recommend you Edward Yourdon's book on this subject.

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If you feel like reading up on death marches I can recommend you Edward Yourdon's book on this subject.

 

How is that book? I recently ordered a copy after seeing it recommended elsewhere (and suspecting that my current project is on a similar course).

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more like edward YOU'RE DONE

 

get it??? imsosorry

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How is that book? I recently ordered a copy after seeing it recommended elsewhere (and suspecting that my current project is on a similar course).

I'm halfway through, and it's good. The first chapter is a bit annoying to go though because it feels quite repetitive. And given the fact that you're reading the book is that you probably noticed the symptoms of a death march.

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