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I hate grocery shopping so the once a week trip is ideal. 

 

The immediate solution to my car troubles seems to be me taking my girlfriend's car. It's standard, I don't have experience driving standard. We did a quick lesson at lunch, and I just took it on my own to shuffle parking spots (ugh cars amirite?) I feel like I'm a driving baby.

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I have switched from evacuation map hell to airport way-finding hell

 

Some design firm did a +/-550 page document for the rebranding of some terminals of Newark Airport (EWR) - but completely blew off the airport's 200pg branding usage & guideline book

 

So I've type-set and made grids for ~150 signs based on the design firm & got the call today to switch to the Airport Authority style which involves some-to-major tweaking of each page

 

Deadlines dont change, just the anxiety to get them done

 

I feel like we haven't had a respite from some sort of "crunch" in years. Pretty amazing considering the success rate of our projects, high margin, low turn over, and generally under-staffed nature of the company.  Only in the last year has other departments filling their positions to a more normal quota.  I don't think I'd even know what to do if there was "down" or free time

 

Anyone in Chicago know anything about signs and/or corel draw, need to bolster my resume drawer

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total shitpost incoming, I am so sorry

 

So, I think at this point it's hard to not acknowledge that I have overall-health related depression. IE, because I can't get myself healthy it makes my mood for everything in my life fucking awful.

 

I managed to lose 20 pounds, then gained it back in a week because of a mixture of forgetfulness and bad planning. While my overall confidence in myself is high, my mood and ability to convey my emotions seems to be getting worse- to the point that I effectively have whittled down my friends.

 

All of this a few months after a shitty workplace gets rid of me because of an anxiety disorder that for some reason just shows up suddenly at 26. Yes, I've never, ever, had anxiety issues before. It just appeared, after years of not having it.

 

Then you've got Valentine's ruining my mood further, literally everyone I know hooking up with each other, a close friend going way too far and abusing me sexually/emotionally for her power trip, and basically I'm falling apart.

 

The one thing on my side, is that I'm not suicidal. I suppose that once I figured out how to get out of my 14 year hole of wanting to off myself and trying way too many times, that I must've done it for good. So that's something.

 

Sorry. Back to your thread, I just wanted to say this where people might read it.

 

Just wanted to throw out there that I did read this and that sucks, though I'm glad to hear you're not suicidal. I started dealing with huge stress and anxiety things for the first time in my life just this last year as well (I seem to be approximately a year older than you), though I can point to a pretty clear cause for mine. Having it appear arbitrarily would be much worse, because at least I can say "welp, my job is killing me" and not have to ask "WHAT IS DOING THIS?" I'm not an experienced dude in dealing with this shit, but this forum is a good place to come in general for people who have your back. Good luck, dude! Come and vent whenever needed.

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I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm almost out of money and I need a job, but there's nothing here. I'm not bilingual, I'm not strong enough for manual labour jobs, I'm not experienced outside of retail, and not having a car leaves me stuck looking for openings in the central part of the city. Every job I look at is either something I'm unqualified for or something that would make me want to kill myself again. I know I have useful skills, but nobody wants them. I'm running out of time and options and I don't think I'm going to make it.

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I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm almost out of money and I need a job, but there's nothing here. I'm not bilingual, I'm not strong enough for manual labour jobs, I'm not experienced outside of retail, and not having a car leaves me stuck looking for openings in the central part of the city. Every job I look at is either something I'm unqualified for or something that would make me want to kill myself again. I know I have useful skills, but nobody wants them. I'm running out of time and options and I don't think I'm going to make it.

 

Is moving out of the question? I just ask because that's what I had to do when I was in a super similar situation. Ended up working out really well, though I certainly had a manual labor job afterward, but I think there were others too. It doesn't have to be forever, after all, just until you can find something better.

 

But I totally understand if it's not possible/too difficult.

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I said this to you last night Teg but I'll say it again here.

 

The best advice I can give is to not give up.  Keep trying.  I really do believe in you.  I think you're an amazing artist and a wonderful person, and I'll support you in any way that I can.

 

Also to Pepyri, I share Miffy's sentiments.  Feel free to share anything you feel the need to and know that we're here for you.  That goes for everyone out there.

 

Finally, I'd just like to say

 

新年快乐

 

Happy New Year folks!

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Is moving out of the question? I just ask because that's what I had to do when I was in a super similar situation. Ended up working out really well, though I certainly had a manual labor job afterward, but I think there were others too. It doesn't have to be forever, after all, just until you can find something better.

 

But I totally understand if it's not possible/too difficult.

 

I'd like to move to Halifax or something, but I don't think I can afford it. I actually moved here to find work, of all things.

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So about two weeks ago they went in and removed my 5mm kidney stone. They had to put me to sleep and shove a camera up there, then blast it to pieces with a laser and extract the pieces. They had to leave the Stent in my ureter to make sure it heals properly and it is the worst fucking thing ever. It has been constant pain since then from my kidney all the way down to where the ureter connects to the bladder. I can't overstate how fucking miserable it is.

On Monday I get to go in and have them yank it out through my you know what and it is a little bigger than an IV tube. At least I got a souvenir picture of the stone before they pulverized it.

post-31977-0-27528600-1424382102_thumb.jpg

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Kidney stones are my biggest fear in life, probably. I'm terrified of these things. My younger brother (25 now) has had them multiple times ever since he was 16 or so, and just seeing how much pain he's on when that happens scared the shit out of me.

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Does anybody here own a Serger they'd be willing to sell me? I'd like to have one so I can make and sell things.

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I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm almost out of money and I need a job, but there's nothing here. I'm not bilingual, I'm not strong enough for manual labour jobs, I'm not experienced outside of retail, and not having a car leaves me stuck looking for openings in the central part of the city. Every job I look at is either something I'm unqualified for or something that would make me want to kill myself again. I know I have useful skills, but nobody wants them. I'm running out of time and options and I don't think I'm going to make it.

Does Canada have anything which does the work equivalent to that the The Princes Trust does in the in the UK? Offering loans, and mentorships to young people (age 30 and under)?

I mention it since a friend of mine went through being stuck in a rural Welsh town even smaller than mine (where there were zero jobs for her skills), to running her own crafts business thanks to some help from them. I'm afraid I don't know Canada well enough to be certain about it but my gut tell me that since he's technically prince of it as well as the UK it's a distinct possibility that he's got similar charitible interests there.

Edit: this seems to be the nearest equivalent

http://www.futurpreneur.ca/en/

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A coworker made a very delightful and legit burn about my age tonight.

 

I forget how it came up, but she was asking me about one of my exes. We were talking about frequency of communication and my coworker grins, asking, "Did you text a lot? Did you have texting back then?"

 

"... No, no we didn't. Also, screw you." And then laughter ensued.

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my life has been getting better since january, spending more time with people and making new friends but...

 

there are nights like tonight where I feel super lonely and I just want a hug from someone I love.

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It's not quite the thing but you can have a forum hug from me Grayson. So pleased to hear that things have been getting better (sounds like you've played a big part in that happening so that's great too).

--

I was approached by some JWs recently and they listened to some of my misgivings about the organization they belong to.

I came away feeling vexed that I had not adequately expressed those concerns, especially over the degree of harm done to some ex-JW acquaintances during their time "inside" and subsequent exit, even if it's not easy to say such things to well-meaning strangers.

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I was planning to go in to work today and get some overtime, but it's snowing out and the roads are terrible.  Guess I'll just stay home and play video games instead.

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I was planning to go in to work today and get some overtime, but it's snowing out and the roads are terrible.  Guess I'll just stay home and play video games instead.

 

Day ruined.

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my life has been getting better since january, spending more time with people and making new friends but...

 

there are nights like tonight where I feel super lonely and I just want a hug from someone I love.

 

I think we all have these sorts of mood swings.

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I was approached by some JWs recently and they listened to some of my misgivings about the organization they belong to.

I came away feeling vexed that I had not adequately expressed those concerns, especially over the degree of harm done to some ex-JW acquaintances during their time "inside" and subsequent exit, even if it's not easy to say such things to well-meaning strangers.

 

As I've said ad nauseum on here over the years, I was raised one and it took five years to unfuck what their cult did to me. Their processes are designed to eradicate any kind of fringe thought by means of fear, vilification and exclusion, and the resulting conditioned faith is so strong that within an hour or two any attempt at debate will come full circle to some bad logic and mental editing out of things you said earlier. That was my experience in leaving, and the experience of so many I've known who've tried the same. The best thing you can do is support those friends who've left. Growing up in it diverts kids away from so many normal developmental experiences, especially when it comes to socialisation, dating and sex.

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Tonight, one of my coworkers came to me about her confusion with transgender folks (there's a lot of them here in this part of the city, I mean, relatively speaking, compared to my last few years in TEXAS). She wasn't sure about how to address them as far as pronouns go. I was really pleased that she was receptive and open-minded about it all, though it may have been less about the social issues and more of a language thing she was asking about (English is her second language but she speaks it fluently, the silly-billy).

 

My faith in people in general got a bump up.

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pics pics pics

 

 

\o/

 

False alarm : (

 

We're due to get a kitten any day now!

We're getting a fluffy 2 month old kitten from a breeder because my Mum's friend helped the breeder get a cheap car and the friend remembered that Mum was on the lookout for a new pet. Heh

 

I'll post some kind of image once it appears though.

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As I've said ad nauseum on here over the years, I was raised one and it took five years to unfuck what their cult did to me

 

I don't think I've read everything you have written on the matter, but thanks to you, because in that moment it really helped to bolster the real, lived experience of people who have left in the face of claims that it's easy to walk away at any time.

Some years ago I was in more or less daily contact with someone who'd not long got out. I think they'd went with the "party" coping strategy, at the same time making the most of any educational opportunity available. Fair play, really. It's hard to come to grips with the bravery of people who do leave.

 

That was my experience in leaving, and the experience of so many I've known who've tried the same. The best thing you can do is support those friends who've left.

 

Thanks. You're right.

Related to that, did a fair number of other people born into it also leave (or try to) as you did? One of the members speaking to me said they'd grown up in a JW family but wasn't aware of anyone being badly affected by the effects of shunning policies as described. I got the impression they had to do a little mental loop-de-loop at that point, but I could have misread things.

Sorry everyone for the detour. I don't mean get the thread all JW'd up unnecessarily.

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Related to that, did a fair number of other people born into it also leave (or try to) as you did? One of the members speaking to me said they'd grown up in a JW family but wasn't aware of anyone being badly affected by the sort of shunning policies I'd described. I got the impression they had to do a little mental loop-de-loop at that point, but I could have misread things.

Sorry everyone for the detour. I don't mean to offend anyone with this topic.

 

I'd imagine that some of the worst BS in every religion isn't necessarily universal. Just like Protestantism, some places you go are pretty crazy Christian, and others are at least somewhat more chill.

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