Life

[elmuerte]

That's understandable, though we'd be happy to see you of course.

 

To the rest, say that I would propose Saturday 23rd or Sunday 24th of August for the Dutch meetup. Say. How would you respond to that?

 

Utrecht and those days, or a week earlier/later is fine for me.

[Bjorn]

So it ended up being a pretty awesome day.  A crew came by shortly after I posted, and confirmed that the line was completely dead and we were able to move my wife's car safely.  But they weren't going to be able to have our power back on until late afternoon.  So we took off, had a lovely breakfast at our favorite dive diner, went to an art museum, had a nice walk in a park, drove around the ritzy neighborhoods and then met some German friends at a bar and watched the German v Brazil shellacking while trying to keep up with all the German chants.  It's the best day off we've had in a long time, probably because it was completely unintentional.  Now we're home and the power is back on.  Yah!

[Erkki]

That game was crazy, I saw the second half, but even then I saw more goals than I would have in most games.

[Bjorn]

The people we were with were in shock.  Half of them missed the 2nd and 4th goals in the first half because they were so busy texting or updating Facebook. 

[Roderick]

Damn, now I wish I'd seen it. Die Mannschaft!

[Merus]

So the trial for the guy who put my brother in the hospital completed today.

 

The Crown brought two charges before the court: assault causing grievous bodily harm with intent to cause grievous bodily harm, and affray recklessly causing grievous bodily harm with intent to cause actual bodily harm. That second one he pled guilty to - essentially it means that he's pled guilty to fighting in public, intending to hurt Simon, and that he put him in the hospital. He contested the charged that he intended to cause grievous bodily harm, and was found not guilty of that, likely because the jury thought that he was drunk and off his face on e and punched him as opposed to attacking him with a weapon.

 

The Crown wasn't sure that one would fly, but if it did it'd set a precedent that you're still responsible for serious crimes you commit while drunk, which would have been very helpful. But the second one is still serious, although a lesser charge, and the judge seemed to imply that when he decided the sentence that he'd err towards the typical sentence, which is somewhere within the realm of 4 years for affray and causing GBH with intent. That seems fair to me - the fear was that he'd get a year, including time served, and he'd walk out of the courtroom today, repentant right up until the cameras turned away. (There are always cameras. I might be in a shot. I hope I don't look too goofy.)

 

I know a lot of the details of the case because I asked the Crown prosecutor, who was only too happy to chat about the case. We've found the justice system, police and prosecutors, warm, approachable, compassionate and professional. We chose to put our faith in the justice system, and while we didn't get the result we would have liked, we got a result that doesn't feel unfair to us. A++++++ WOULD TRUST WITH JUSTICE AGAIN They were worried we'd be disappointed if they couldn't prove intent to cause grievous bodily harm, but we're not too worried.

 

Things have changed in the year since Simon got punched. There's now a specific category of assault for the kind of attack Simon faced - a single strong blow to the head, while drunk, no intent to cause specific harm but to fuck up whoever was in front of you. They call 'king hits' 'coward punches' now, in that very Australian half-ironic way. (Police stations are often nicknamed 'cop shops', particularly by police. Ah, Australian English.) There are new laws that stop alcohol service at 3am and entry into pubs at 1am, which may or may not be a good idea but it's being tried and there'll be balance found - after all, we're also the country that mandated uniform plain packaging for cigarettes to see if that'd make them less appealing. (Seems like it might do.) More than anything, I feel like our pain was listened to and acknowledged by the justice system and the wider community; we could have lost my brother if the dice had gone another way, but here we are. It feels like the end of something, rather than the middle.

[Roderick]

Good to see you've found closure, Merus, for you, your family and your brother. Justice was served, and hopefully your brother will/has recuperated well.

[Dewar]

Does that ruling come with any help with medical bills? Does Australia even deal with medical bills in that way?

[namman siggins]

Life's back to normal.

I've moved from the deep depression to my everyday melancholia/depression that's bearable. It also helped that I talked to my friend Nick whose going through the same thing and we just released everything that was on our chest. We agreed that we're walking Woody Allen films, haha.

[Justin Leego]

Yes! That's awesome, V.

 

Also, and with apologies to any highbrow film fans here, but Woody Allen films suck and this you now know from personal experience.

[syntheticgerbil]

Well that interview was a bust, for all of the reasons I didn't expect. Apparently as I was hoping, "Flash technical animator" did not mean coding but instead worker with programmers, which is great and what I'm used to, so I was happy for a second there.

 

Then it all went wrong, part time really just meant that they might call me sometimes for work. Suddenly there was a want for me to be capable of everything but it was hard to tell because they were so awkward. The job description seemed more focused on art asset creation than actual animation. I seemed to be a disappointment that I only concepted characters for 3D and animated instead of also doing the modeling, rigging, and texturing part. Then it just kind of turned in to a continuing ragging on my style. I always try to get out of my comfort zone and match the style of the companies I work for, but it seems like even with the changes I make and pleasing art directors, when all is said and done I don't have a website that looks like anything except me, and that's bad because for whatever reason I don't seem to appeal to anyone.

 

They don't actually have any artists employed there, it's always outsourced and they are trying local now. These guys have some dream of making some AAA game they have in mind, but have been doing casino games for years instead to support that dream. Protip, your AAA game is never going to get made. I don't think I have it in me to ever be a realistic painter either, which they seemed to be disappointed I don't have because I can't work on their AAA game in the mean time when there's no concept work. I don't mean to be one of those whiny artists that can't accept criticism because I try very hard when working under people, but I'm so tired and exhausted from just never being good enough or being the wrong fit for everyone. It's so disheartening and makes me feel like even more of a failure.

 

Maybe I'd appeal to comics, but there's no money or actual job there for the amount of work, which is why I'm just trying to transition to motion graphics because it's so different and maybe I will start pleasing companies since I'm a good animator. At least I think I'm a good animator, no one has ever really complained and the stuff I do gets received positively. I guess I'm married but for over a year, I've been constantly unable to support us and I imagine she has a lot of opinions of my artistic failings and inability to get good work, but doesn't want to hurt my feelings.

 

I guess I was hoping for something different from a company founded by ex-EA Sims developers.

[Merus]

Does that ruling come with any help with medical bills? Does Australia even deal with medical bills in that way?

 

We didn't need the ruling to go our way for help. Life-saving surgery and Simon's hospital stay is covered by Medicare. Rehab wasn't, but victim of crime compensation paid for that and Simon did some promotional stuff for them so they might have waived some fees. He also had sick leave, so he kept getting paid for the couple of months that he was out (I think the sick leave ran out but his boss was hardly going to fire him because he was in rehab) and his expenses were a lot lower.

 

So basically yeah, Australia doesn't handle medical bills in the same way.

 

I guess I'm married but for over a year, I've been constantly unable to support us and I imagine she has a lot of opinions of my artistic failings and inability to get good work, but doesn't want to hurt my feelings.

 

Man, don't fall into that trap. Don't project how you're feeling onto her, particularly because the things that you're trying to do might well be the things she finds most attractive about you. You don't know what she's thinking, so don't go thinking the worst of her.

[Gormongous]

Well, I got back from England last night, where I was at Leeds to give a paper at my first international conference. The paper was on the first day and went well. I probably had the strongest argument out of my fellow presenters, but I also had the guy who literally wrote the book on my topic in the audience and he took me to task for supplementing the points where we both agreed with some "conjecture" of my own. I think I held my ground, but it never looks good to have another expert say that you're seeing pink elephants. Whatever. I spent the rest of the week-long conference stealing food from the mess hall and listening to Germans argue about imitatio imperii. I got all my dinners except the first night paid for by senior professors and generally made myself out well, although I didn't do as much networking as I wanted. Then again, I never do! The last night was especially odd, given that there was a nightclub-style dance in the basement of the union. I asked a gorgeous Polish girl to dance, because I'd noticed her at several receptions but hadn't had an excuse to talk since she does Puritan stuff and I don't, but she insisted on inspecting my conference badge first, then we danced for like thirty minutes before she said she was leaving and walked over to the other side of the dance floor to dance with someone else. It's a good encapsulation of why I don't like nightclubs or danceclubs, but attractive goth girls are so rare in America that I couldn't help myself. Oh well, I had to get up at six in the morning the next day to make my flight anyway.

 

It was probably the best annual conference to which I've been, which isn't saying much considering how small-time our local conference is and what a pile of garbage Kalamazoo is, but it cost an arm and a leg for what amounted to a CV entry and a couple of contact emails. Ah well, that's business! The summer's wide open for me now.

 

I guess I'm married but for over a year, I've been constantly unable to support us and I imagine she has a lot of opinions of my artistic failings and inability to get good work, but doesn't want to hurt my feelings.

 

I agree with Merus. Most of the really toxic vibes in my relationships have been from attempts at mind-reading. The best you can do is build a relationship that thrives on open communication and leave the rest to her. There's a very good possibility she admires your integrity and commitment, rather than resenting them.

[Roderick]

I am currently arranging the Dutch Idle Thumbs meeting: if anyone besides the people who've already expressed interest (Osmosisch, ElMuerte, I_Smell and myself) is up for it, please send me your e-mail address and I'll share the planner with you to pick a date somewhere in the back of August.

 

Also for good people from Belgium, West-Germany, Northern France and Englanders who might be in the neighborhood. But not Luxemburghers, who are vile people and we should turn our backs to them.

[Bjorn]

In my limited experience with academic conferences (four total, one a disaster), I consider anything that isn't an epic disaster to be a total win, so I'd say you made out well. 

 

I've always rather liked nightclubs, even though I don't fit in at all.  But a nightclub in the basement of a union at an academic conference kind of sounds like it's built on a foundation of awkward. 

[Gormongous]

I've always rather liked nightclubs, even though I don't fit in at all.  But a nightclub in the basement of a union at an academic conference kind of sounds like it's built on a foundation of awkward. 

 

It was really awkward until they played "Brimful of Asha", which is a song that can't go wrong.

 

[miffy495]

So my green hair is apparently causing friction at my summer job. I kept working at Starbucks so that I wouldn't be bored as fuck all summer waiting for the school year to start again, but also wanted to dye my hair for the two months off teaching. I ran the idea by my store manager a month in advance, talked it through with him (I'm not an idiot, I realized there would be dress code conflicts) and he ordered me a starbucks hat so that I could wear it while I'm working and still fit with dress code. The day after I dyed my hair, HIS boss walks in and is now breathing down everyone's neck because the hat is apparently not good enough. She's been after him about one thing or another for a while, so he's already always having to watch out for her, and this is starting to become a thing. If it were just me against his boss, there'd be no problem. I'll be teaching again in 7 weeks anyway, so the worst case scenario for me would be that she'd fire me, I'd tighten my belt for a few weeks (still have a bunch of cash saved up for the summer, so I'd be fine), and she'd look like a massive jerk who overreacted over nothing and cost the store a very well-liked and competent employee (I have a fairly large number of regulars who come in pretty much just to talk with me). Speaking purely selfishly, she has absolutely nothing to threaten me with. Unfortunately, I'm really uncomfortable with the idea that some of the shit from this may end up splattering on my boss, who is a genuinely incredible guy and doesn't deserve any of the fallout. As she is actively looking for ways to get him in hot water (including recently setting our store's goal to triple of what it was last year. Last year being a record-setting anomaly because we happened to be located next to where everyone in the city came to gawk at the aftermath of the river flooding downtown), this is likely to happen. I'm not sure about how to play this one. If it were just me, no problem. This lady can go fuck herself. But someone else could get hurt by this and the whole thing kinda sucks.

[namman siggins]

 I guess I'm married but for over a year, I've been constantly unable to support us and I imagine she has a lot of opinions of my artistic failings and inability to get good work, but doesn't want to hurt my feelings

The worst thing you can do is mind-read what your partner is feeling or thinking.

 

imo, your best course of action is to talk to her. Let it all out and see where y'all stand and where to go from there; communication is so fucking essential especially when your living with someone. The smallest thing can snowball into an avalanche if there's no room to talk and work out, together, the problems in your lives.

 

Seriously, this is how my last relationship ended. We lived together for three years and were together for five, and one year--all it took was one year--of us just keeping it all in and not engaging with each is what ruined our relationship. We grew apart instead of together because we decided to live in our own worlds and project what were thought of ourselves to the other person. 

 

Also, assuming the worst in people, for the most part, is the worst thing you can do. It does nothing to solve the situation and only makes it worse and makes you feel like shit. People are a lot more forgiving and open than you think, especially if they're your partner 

[Lu]

I am currently arranging the Dutch Idle Thumbs meeting: if anyone besides the people who've already expressed interest (Osmosisch, ElMuerte, I_Smell and myself) is up for it, please send me your e-mail address and I'll share the planner with you to pick a date somewhere in the back of August.

 

Also for good people from Belgium, West-Germany, Northern France and Englanders who might be in the neighborhood. But not Luxemburghers, who are vile people and we should turn our backs to them.

 

 

We need a thread!!

[syntheticgerbil]

imo, your best course of action is to talk to her. Let it all out and see where y'all stand and where to go from there; communication is so fucking essential especially when your living with someone. The smallest thing can snowball into an avalanche if there's no room to talk and work out, together, the problems in your lives.

I should probably follow up on this and say I have talked to her more than a few times about all of this before hand and more than anything she's excited for me to go back to school and isn't so worried because her job is going very well and has been for a few years, so she is aware of my insecurities. It's just on the worst days of it, I'm tired of being a financial burden to people, I've been in this situation for a bit too long and even if it's only been a little over a year, I guess I'm just projecting like mad and it's not fair to anyone else.

 

Oh yeah, why is green hair at Starbucks a big thing? I Feel like every coffee shop has some manner of counterculture going on with the servers.

[tegan]

I can't sleep at all lately, and I've got a lot of unresolved anger issues bringing me down. Life is crap.

[syntheticgerbil]

I heard drinking gallons of warm milk helps.

[elmuerte]

I heard drinking gallons of milk turns you into a cow.

[undermind9]

My cars turbo is shot. Est 3k to fix unless I find the parts on the cheap. Probably will spend Monday work morning scouring the Internet or calling junk yards

 

as a life update i continued to drive the car...no catastrophic failure.  everyone quoted around 3k to fix, nope to that

 

and yesterday bought a new car.  it was a bitter sweet thing since i loved the old one very much...but now its someone else's problem.  It actually turned out as i had hoped, the computer codes didnt quite pinpoint what was broken...just something wasn't right.  And since they did not drive my car they had to guess at o2 sensor or something to cause the fault.  so i got the blue book value 

 

so win for me, sorry not sorry for them.  

 

 

and now its 5am and cant sleep, should prove to be a productive day

[tegan]

I feel like complete garbage, emotionally, for no real reason.