Life

[Twig]

But to be serious for a moment: A house seems like a thing I should want, but I'm not sure I'd ever be happy being tied down to a street let alone a neighborhood let alone a city let alone a state let alone a country let alone a planet. Maybe some day.

[Ucantalas]

I kind of want a house some day, but just because it will be a building that will be mine. *(once its paid off, I realize that)*

I want to be able to do stuff inside and not worry about apartment neighbours. Yes there are still going to be houses next to me, but its different from sharing walls with people. I could listen to music loudly or stuff. I dunno. Woodworking in my pajamas in the kitchen, and no one can tell me no, you know?

Freedom. That house in my mind is about freedom. 

[SecretAsianMan]

There is something very satisfying about being in a physical space and being able to do anything you want to it.  Want to knock down a wall?  Go right ahead, it's yours!  Don't like this color?  Feel free to change it!  Want to hang something or paint an ugly mural or take a bat to it or park a car in it or throw a rave or play paintball or have a snowball fight or a waterballoon fight or a boxing match or build an arcade or WHATEVER, who's gonna stop you?  No one, that's who.

 

In other news, tonight is the night I start working night shift.  You know what makes moving even more fun?  Being up all night at work.

[Twig]

Yeah I definitely want all that.

 

But I also don't want to get Stuck.

[dibs]

I bought a house with my friend when we started out PhDs. Now we rent it to friends of mine. We got a tracker mortgage just before the interest rates tanked. Score. You don't have to be tied to a house for life, and if US markets are operating like Irish ones, then it's a cheap time to buy a house.

 

This is the view from my new house. I get it for €400 a month, it is 10 mins walk from Cork city center. My brother's inlaws are my landlords and they gave it cheap as they like having family in it (my brother's sis in law was here before, but has moved to Paris). Gosh but i like living on my own! Epic landing on my feet with this move. Also, my old job and my new job both ended up paying me nearly a full months wage each. whoop.

 

My last house was a huge room in a mansion in the countryside looking out over the mountains. I lived there with 3 women. There was a cleaner.

 

[Erkki]

but its different from sharing walls with people

 

Yup! One of the walls in my apartment just got flooded by an accident in someone else's apartment.

[Ucantalas]

Yup! One of the walls in my apartment just got flooded by an accident in someone else's apartment.

Oh jeeze, that sucks. 

 

 

 

Also, dibs, that photo looks beautiful. It looks like an establishing shot at the start of some sitcom. 

[Twig]

Well it's definitely not cheap to buy a house in SF.

 

But what I really meant is that I don't want to stay in any one place long enough to even make owning a house a viable option. (Renting is a different matter, of course.) Even though I haven't done the interview, yet, I'm already really hoping this Dallas things turns out well, because I'm super excited at the prospect of living in a new place. It's only been a year in SF, but I've grown complacent and bored.

 

And that's not even to say I feel like I've done everything I can or want to do in SF. Just that, although I like the people I know here quite a lot, and I even like the area I live quite a lot (though my new roommate is considerably less than ideal), I'm just kind of... bored. I get bored pretty easily. New places make me happy. Maybe that's unhealthy, but whatever.

[SecretAsianMan]

I can understand not wanting to remain in one place for too long.  I actually started looking at houses about 2 years ago, but I put off buying one because I knew that once I did I was committing to being here for a while.  In an ideal world I'd have purchased this house somewhere else, somewhere I'd rather be, but the reality of my situation is that I can't really go somewhere else, so a house just makes sense for me.

 

On a sad and depressing note, I'm feeling really lonely.  Probably because I'm insanely tired and more than a bit overwhelmed with all the stuff I have to do in my new house, but I really wish I wasn't such a hermit and had some friends.  It sucks not having any self-confidence or feeling of worth.  This is going to be a long month.  I'll stop complaining now.

[dibs]

I can understand not wanting to remain in one place for too long. I actually started looking at houses about 2 years ago, but I put off buying one because I knew that once I did I was committing to being here for a while. In an ideal world I'd have purchased this house somewhere else, somewhere I'd rather be, but the reality of my situation is that I can't really go somewhere else, so a house just makes sense for me.

On a sad and depressing note, I'm feeling really lonely. Probably because I'm insanely tired and more than a bit overwhelmed with all the stuff I have to do in my new house, but I really wish I wasn't such a hermit and had some friends. It sucks not having any self-confidence or feeling of worth. This is going to be a long month. I'll stop complaining now.

I feel like that sometimes. This move however I've been rather happy (2 and a half weeks) despite having the man flu and staying in bed every night for a week. I've been visiting an old buddy of mine who is laid up with a trapped nerve. It's one of those friendships where you just fall back into the same banter you used to have years ago which is really cool. I'm meeting another old friend later this week. Other than that I've been home to mammy for a weekend, to a stag party and this weekend to a wedding. My new city is really well connected by train so it's really easy to pop up to dublin for a howdy. I'm also going to start music lessons soon and I'm debating joining a band 45 mins away or sticking with my current band 75 mins away. Toot toot on the French horn. Off tonight to visit my brother and pregnant wife and say howdy to the old band at least. I may be getting a French horn to practice on:D

That is the one man sitcom that is my life at the moment. At least it has a nice opening shot.

I can't really offer much advice. I was a fair bit of a hermit in my old place for 9 months. This place just seems to suit me more. Do you know the area you are in?

My good spirits are probs helped by that I got nearly two whole paychecks this month though. Nom.

The view is very pretty indeed. Cork is nice that way, there is always trees in your line of sight, and the town is very old and a little decrepit, but it gives it a lot of character.

[Roderick]

As a sort of follow-up to an earlier post here; I've taken the step and applied to a few dating sites. Didn't know which ones to choose, so I just took a few that I thought seemed interesting. My first impressions were very positive; it's not unlike just any old online community. The vibe is much the same, with the exception that everyone's looking for someone.

 

Some aspects are less savory; I definitely dislike that you're automatically funneled into behavior of selecting on appearance, but there is almost no way around that. It's just how it works; you get a first impression from the picture. Either accept that or don't play the game, I guess. But other than that, I was thrilled to see a lot of generally interesting, non-scary people hanging around there. Talked to a few, looking forward to meeting up over the coming months.

[osmosisch]

I think online dating (or more properly, potential partner-selection) makes a lot more sense than the real-life version in a lot of ways, because it allows selection from an unimaginably much larger pool to find someone whose interests and goals are a lot more likely to align with one's own.

 

Similarly for brief flings, obv

 

It just feels more smart and honest somehow.

 

PS Good luck!

[Roderick]

Thanks, I've sent the first few messages, let's see how it transforms and rolls out over the coming days!

 

I think the hidden subtext in online dating is what scares almost everyone, instinctively, at first. When you go to a bar or any social place, sure, you might be out there with the sole purpose of hooking up or finding your prince(ss), but you have an automatic escape pod at the ready: you can just pretend you're there for whatever. The booze, the friends, the vibe. On a dating site, you don't have that excuse - you're there because you want to find someone, and that automatically implies you're lonely. You're stripped of plausible deniability and that brings a certain terror of its own, that you have to step over and discover it's no big deal at all.

[osmosisch]

It's a service for people who have realised that time is the enemy.

[Dewar]

Thanks, I've sent the first few messages, let's see how it transforms and rolls out over the coming days!

 

I think the hidden subtext in online dating is what scares almost everyone, instinctively, at first. When you go to a bar or any social place, sure, you might be out there with the sole purpose of hooking up or finding your prince(ss), but you have an automatic escape pod at the ready: you can just pretend you're there for whatever. The booze, the friends, the vibe. On a dating site, you don't have that excuse - you're there because you want to find someone, and that automatically implies you're lonely. You're stripped of plausible deniability and that brings a certain terror of its own, that you have to step over and discover it's no big deal at all.

 

A lot of people use that escape pod way too early though, and end up missing on chances.

[Ucantalas]

Online dating kind of weirds me out a bit... Maybe its just because my family is kind of old-fashioned, but I can't imagine telling anyone in my family I met someone online. (I suppose if it really bothered me I'd just lie and say we met at a bar? or something.) I don't know what it is but I just don't feel comfortable with online dating. ...but then I also don't feel comfortable going out and meeting people, so... I'll just stay here alone.

 

In other news, I was encouraged today by some friends to try some self-help type of thing aimed at making you more likely to get a good job. Went in to it with a healthy amount of scepticism, but whatever. And then there was a worksheet to do: Filling out goals I want to accomplish, ones for 6 months from now, 1 year from now, 3 years and 5 years. And as I tried to fill them out, I realized something: I have no ambitions. I can't think of any goals I really want to work towards (at least none that are in any way realistic... I would work my ass off to be able to ride a dinosaur to work every day.) I feel kind of weird about this... I mean, don't most people have goals? Doesn't everyone have things they want to work towards? I just can't think of any, and its bothering me.

(Sorry, my posts have been getting kind of depressing and self focused. I'll try to post more regarding whats going on with others and less about my weird thoughts.)

[syntheticgerbil]

God, I don't know what it is, but after I spent about a week and a half sorting out our moving situation while my fiance had to work a ton, I really don't want to use Facebook anymore. Yeah I know, I don't have to, but I feel like I'm missing out on the lives of a lot of my friends and family, plus there's networking opportunities to be had. I mean I check Facebook every other day now, but I can't be bothered to scroll throw the news feed anymore (even after hiding almost everyone I don't want to hear from). It's just so exhausting now.

 

Well, that's a non problem. Moving sucks by the way, but it is such a good feeling when you finish. It appears we accumulated way too much crap after we moved to a house back to a duplex now. So it's been garage sales, craigslist, and ebay for the past few weeks, desperately hocking out goods. Gotta save teh monies.

[Ucantalas]

Facebook has mainly become a way for me to talk to my mom without incurring ridiculous long-distance charges. For the longest time I enjoyed reading everything people were doing or talking about. Now... I just don't care. People are boring.
 

[SecretAsianMan]

Moving sucks by the way, but it is such a good feeling when you finish.

 

Agreed.  I can't wait until I'm finished moving in.

[Sententia]

In other news, I was encouraged today by some friends to try some self-help type of thing aimed at making you more likely to get a good job. Went in to it with a healthy amount of scepticism, but whatever. And then there was a worksheet to do: Filling out goals I want to accomplish, ones for 6 months from now, 1 year from now, 3 years and 5 years. And as I tried to fill them out, I realized something: I have no ambitions. I can't think of any goals I really want to work towards (at least none that are in any way realistic... I would work my ass off to be able to ride a dinosaur to work every day.) I feel kind of weird about this... I mean, don't most people have goals? Doesn't everyone have things they want to work towards? I just can't think of any, and its bothering me.

 

I know exactly what you mean.  I lack any personal goals whatsoever and I think that's actually very common and normal.  The thing is there are activities I really enjoy doing, and if I can manage some way of producing enough currency based off those activities to survive then that's called a career.  I think I understand your situation in that you don't need money for anything and don't have a natural inclination to turn your passions into money some way, so you have no motivation.

 

If you currently provide for yourself it doesn't matter what other people think you should do, their opinion has no weight, but if you're being provided for and feel bad about it then you need to find motivation for a career.  I posted earlier in this thread about the change of direction in my life but even that isn't a goal, there's nothing specific I want to achieve, it's a motivation.  If philanthropy does it for you then great, but in the end you'll have to figure out some sort of motivation, it won't just come on its own.

[dibs]

Today after a meeting at the hospital, a Daily Mail journalist asked me for sound bite on the doctors strike currently going on. I think not lady. Though I was tempted to tell her I was a doctor and omit the not a medical one part.

[elmuerte]

Missed opportunity.

[Apelsin]

Online dating kind of weirds me out a bit... Maybe its just because my family is kind of old-fashioned, but I can't imagine telling anyone in my family I met someone online. (I suppose if it really bothered me I'd just lie and say we met at a bar? or something.) I don't know what it is but I just don't feel comfortable with online dating. ...but then I also don't feel comfortable going out and meeting people, so... I'll just stay here alone.

 

In other news, I was encouraged today by some friends to try some self-help type of thing aimed at making you more likely to get a good job. Went in to it with a healthy amount of scepticism, but whatever. And then there was a worksheet to do: Filling out goals I want to accomplish, ones for 6 months from now, 1 year from now, 3 years and 5 years. And as I tried to fill them out, I realized something: I have no ambitions. I can't think of any goals I really want to work towards (at least none that are in any way realistic... I would work my ass off to be able to ride a dinosaur to work every day.) I feel kind of weird about this... I mean, don't most people have goals? Doesn't everyone have things they want to work towards? I just can't think of any, and its bothering me.

(Sorry, my posts have been getting kind of depressing and self focused. I'll try to post more regarding whats going on with others and less about my weird thoughts.)

 

Are you like my lost twin or something?

Recognize myself in a lot of that. Seen quite a few people talking about the importance of setting goals etc.. Was even brought up during my last evaluation meeting at work. But I just can't think of anything within the given time frames usually used in these that I actually want... Well, except being happy I suppose.

 

A VIDEO!

 

Couldn't post this in the comical youtube thread for two reasons!

It's not on youtube, also it is VERY SAD. (be warned etc) 

 

[SecretAsianMan]

I am having the worst day.  I'm extremely tired because today I moved all the furniture into my new house.  That wouldn't be so bad  except I'm working long nights with about 4 hours of sleep in the last 2 days.  I've also found out that they screwed up the electrical wiring in my house.  None of the appliances get enough power except for the fridge.  So this means I can't use the washer, dryer, microwave, dish washer, garage door opener, or water heater.  I've submitted service requests but I know they're not going to respond quickly unless I keep bugging them which I don't really have the time or energy to do.  Tomorrow the cable guy is supposed to come and hopefully I'll have internet at home, but only if they didn't screw up wiring the cable in the house too, which at this point is increasingly likely.

 

Moving sucks.

[Joewintergreen]

Moving does suck. Fortunately I only have half the job this time: I'm moving all my stuff out into storage and then I'm homeless from Friday! Woooo