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Yea, I'm just someone who dislikes being polite for politeness sake. Don't listen to me! Plus from your description she sounds like someone I would not like too.

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Am I just making stupid justifications and should just pay up, or should I bother saying no? It's just $20 but the principle of the thing is kind of bugging me.

I'm not very good at following this rule, but I've learned that the first step to getting over a grudge with someone is to be good to them for no good reason (conversely, if someone has a grudge against you for some reason, put them in a position to do you minor favors). In general it's unhealthy and not especially useful to hold resentment, and principle is just a word people throw around to justify their emotions. I'm not saying you aren't entitled to your emotions or that they're somehow invalid, just that, that's not the same as having a moral duty to moan and drag your feet.

I say, make the most of it. Maybe you can give her this card:

funnyvale-1346141968.jpg

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I'm not mean to her, I'm polite to her at work, say hello, etc. I just don't really want to just hand her $20. I'm also annoyed at my work for forcing us to do this (among all of the other dumb shit).

I say, make the most of it. Maybe you can give her this card:

funnyvale-1346141968.jpg

I don't think she's allowed to watch Futurama.

Make a donation in her name to a charity of your choice.

You know what's funny? She did that last Christmas for each and every one of us in the office without asking. So I donated $15 to a Christian charity last year but I'm not sure of the exact cause.

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One of my collegues in India was putting on his coat today when he was about to leave the office, it was cold outside...

Funny guy, really... It's 23:00 in India right now and 25 degrees celcius. That's sort of "normal" for a summer day in the Netherland... not at night.

Oh right, I'm in India this week.

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Make a donation in her name to a charity of your choice.

I was going to say that I absolutely wouldn't pay the $20, but this is a better suggestion. It covers you from any fallout from work, and after her doing similar at Christmas has the sweet, sweet taste of poetic justice.

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Just buy 20 dollars worth of diapers at HEB and tape the receipt to the package. I am super weird about presents, giving as well as receiving (they have to mean somehting), that in these sort of cases I just buy a thing and try to spend as little time as possible thinking about it.

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Gift card to a store she'll never shop at!

If this was an Xmas present or a Birthday thing, then this would definitely be the best solution. Seeing how this money is meant for her baby, then I think you have to bite the bullet.

Try to look at it this way: The money is going to improve a child's life... who has HER as a mother! It's charity, really.

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I think I feel less like an asshole now, thank you guys.

... Do diapers come in sizes?

But also there's the possibility that the studio head organizing this will forget about the idea by the end of the week because he doesn't seem to remember meetings, deadlines, or anything else day to day about his job.

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Do you primarily work digitally? Cause if so, you should probably drop that habit. Knowing to paint in oils and acrylics and draw with all kinds of old-school media has had an infinitely bigger positive impact on my Photoshop skills than other way around.
I jump around, recently a lot of what I've been posting has been mostly digital, mainly because it doesn't cost anything to screw around and see what happen. I have plenty of oils and watercolors though, it's just more of a hassle to use and maintain.

Lately most of my sketching and doodling has been in ink; brush pens especially are really fun to work with and hardly a hassle at all. I keep a few loaded with a solution of neutral-tone inks (I don't have enough yet to fill with a full palette of hues), and I use them to make a simple watercolor-style wash, or to make interesting accents, or just to screw around.

tumblr_mevry0Cp8a1qbpx0ko1_500.jpg

(something I scribbled up today while I was waiting for paint to dry)

All in all I imagine that any artistic skills I learn will help me improve overall, so right now I'm letting myself float around and play with whatever tickles my fancy, taking a little extra time now and then to nail down a skill (there's always room for more anatomy lessons). Hopefully I'll learn something along the way...

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RE: $20 cough up

I say just don't pay her anything and if pushed say why. Chances are there are other people who feel the same as you if she was such a cow to work under. Also, if she was earning much more than you she doesn't need the money. If I were your co-worker, I would have the utmost respect for you standing up to the bullshit like that. Sure, people might bitch for a couple of weeks, but when that crap fades I think in it's place will be a quiet respect for your honesty.

Don't perpetuate the false feeling that everybody thought she was great, she will come back from maternity leave and be the same old rubbish.

Haha, reading this back I realise I'm out on a limb here, but I can't stand office bullshit like that and I wouldn't be forced into it. If I couldn't face being a man about it (which I probably couldn't in fairness, so I understand your situation) I would just say I was too poor to handover £20 and dodge the issue in the future.

I don't mean this post to come across in any other way than if we having a talk down the pub, so definitely no offence intended in anyway.

Good luck!

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I'm really considering it since I'm already titled the grumpy person at work and I don't think it'll be shocking, I am just not entirely sure if I'm going over the grumpy line to complete asshole.

But Friday is approaching and I'm guessing the design director is just going to forget he ever had any idea as per usual.

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America, we need to talk ...

... about your candy. A while back I thought «hey, USA is so great, I bet they have great candy!» and I e-ordered a box of purportedly typical US-American candy, and I have come to the conclusion that it's all terribly, artificially flavoured tongue-scrapingly awful. So, either my candy box was badly curated, US-American candy is terrible, or there's just a vast candy-cultural gap that prevents me from enjoying your Jujyfruits and Milky Ways. If you live in the USA, tell me, what's your favourite candy?

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What candies did you get?

And that is a delicious answer, Orv.

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There are no good American candies for the spoiled European palate. They use peanuts and shun hazelnuts and mix chocolate so that it tastes like paraffin, on purpose.

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I pretty much just stick with the pricier dark chocolates when I feel the need. Only eat the milk chocolate stuff when it's free or something. That said I'm less picky about fruity stuff, like mike and ike's or something.

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I don't like sweets, but I have a weird thing with York peppermint patties and Kit-Kat bars. Neither of them are good quality especially but I always overeat them. Andes candies too. I enjoy, but never engorge upon, black licorice.

I can't think of any good quality American candy I really like. I just don't like candy.

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This is a good point. We're already considering loading up with tea for our trip (how British, eh?). Maybe chocolate is another thing we should consider. P.s. if you like Ferrero Rocher (if the chap that mentioned them was American), you should really check out Lindt Lindor Truffles. So very nice. Aside: the wife went through a time of making double chocolate brownies; then we had the idea of taking them out part cooked and pushing a Lindor truffle into the centre of each one so that it melted a little when the brownies were cooked. No wonder I'm overweight.

In Berlin last year, we couldn't NOT visit Fassbender & Rausch. The place is crackers - on the ground floor was a Taj Mahal made of chocolate and a 'working' Vesuvius model (with chocolate lava). Impressive, but a bit of a waste, I guess. Upstairs was a cafe, where you could order an espresso of dark chocolate. Fab.

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