Life

[syntheticgerbil]

I can't seem to find the new website from your linkedin, Stevan.

Also El Muerte, I want the next story in the saga!

Edited November 21, 2011 by syntheticgerbil

[subbes]

Also El Meurte, I want the next story in the saga!

Mee too, very much so! I want to know whether the end result is murder, riot, or just some annoyed looks over bad coffee.

[elmuerte]

Ok. It's not as juicy as the previous parts.

So, last Friday the CEO was back in the office when I arrived in the morning. So that chat happened. No much excitement, I just reiterated my points of Wednesday evening. I also added a bunch of extra points. I mentioned to him that I think the management of this project has been terrible, only the only the 3 management stooges have an idea what the plans are. The rest who is involved don't know shit about what to expect, and when things should happen. They only know that upcoming week some of the management stooges will be at other party and testing the application on a functional level. But what the test plan is, we don't know. I also mentioned the ridiculous way of indirect communication that became the norm last week. The other parties talk/email to our management stooges, and they will then talk/email to us the things that were wrong in the mapping of the messages exchange between the system. This of course only leads to slowed progression, and confusion because of half/incorrect information. How difficult is it to include the 2 developers in this loop. If you can loop in 10+ managers then it shouldn't be a problem to include the 2 people from our side who actually can address the issues. Thursday I simply contacted one guy from the other party to resolve a communication issue. and we actually got stuff done because were wasn't an enormous overhead of managers butting in only seeing doom and gloom.

So anyway, mentioned all that stuff (and probably some more) to the CEO. The CEO could agree with my points, and he could also mention a few other points he wasn't really happy with concerning this project. Then one of the three management stooges walked in (the worst one). And the CEO called him over. The CEO mentioned a few things to him (like the indirect communication, and Curly agreed that I should be included in the loop, but that of course never happened). And then the CEO asked what the status was. Friday was the last day to wrap up the communication part between the various systems. And this stooge happily confirmed that there were no open issue (I already said to the CEO that afaik everything is done) (remember this part). And then the CEO asked about what was up setting the deadline two days earlier. This stooge showed the CEO that he was in fact spineless. The other party (our direct customer) damned it because their test environment would go down. And they simply agreed. The stooge failed to mention and they made no effort to communicate that with the rest of the team, because they heard about it during the project meeting on Monday. No, they waited till 3 hours before they wanted us to put in overtime that it was going to happen.

So this short chat between the me, the CEO and stooge ended without too much fuss. Because right now, everything was a-ok.

I walked over to my desk booted up my machine and checked my email.

And there was an email from an other stooge, it was a vague list of all outstanding issues that should be resolved today. I say vague list because it didn't contain much details except that "Message X is incorrect". This email was also send to the CEO, because this mail stooge asked if the CEO could mention this list of issue during the morning "support divide & conquer" meeting. Because stooge #1 was on his way to that customer, stooge #2 was in a conference call for a different project, and stooge #3... no idea, but apparently not available. I'm sure the CEO like that request. It was one of the things he mentioned to me he didn't like about this project. We have 3 project managers on our side sitting on this project, how can it be that the CEO has to pick up some of their work.

Also, that particular morning our company was not represented in the daily conference call of that project because all stooges were doing something else!?

And that was what happened Friday morning. The day passed as usual. I fixed some issues here and there. And then it was 16:30 again. The stooges were in the project conference call again (yes, they had one at 9:00 and 16:30 every day). One of them walked over to me and asked if I could see why Message Y didn't enter the system. I never had anything to do with Message Y, but because I'm a proper and awesome software developer I took a look. And I quickly saw what was wrong, and also figured out that this thing was never going to work. At least, not without adding some new functionality to the application. "How can this be? This was supposed to be one of the easiest and straight forward messages!?" said the main stooge while waving his arms over his head. Anyway, I could fix the message (because it was wrong in a bunch of places) and create the needed functionality in about 30 minutes (because I'm awesome). So at around 17:45 I solved the issue, tested the solution on my machine, and committed the changes. The only thing left deploying a new release in "test1" testing half the application, and then move to to "test2" (which they will use upcoming week for testing). Yes, we currently have 2 test environments for this instance. And why do they have to "test1" first, it's because there also have been a bunch of other changes besides my fix since the release running on "test2". Changes, which the stooges obviously didn't test.

Anyway, as is quite common, I saved the day again. But I didn't see an email where I was thanked for saving their lying asses again.

[Tanukitsune]

They broke into our store...

PRO-TIP: Don't have your store next to a jewelry shop!

It was relatively well planned, for days our front door didn't close well, so anybody could enter, and guess what? The boiler room is right next to a fishmonger's, which is where they made a hole to access the marketplace.

And this is where it gets a bit confusing...

Obviously, you never break into a jewelry shop from the front, that's where the alarms and security is, so they broke into BOTH stores that were next to it!

And that's what's confusing me... why both?

The police didn't let us enter the stores, but I could see the other store had damage, but that store was close and had been broken into before with the same plan.

As for our store? We have those metal curtain things, but the lock was broken a long time ago, so we use hooks to keep them in place. They had to break the lock in the front door and crawl in, so at least we made things harder for them?

I could see they didn't take our change and the cash register was closed, but they left the meat freezer room open all night and the meat might be ruined. "Fortunately" they made the hole in the storage room in the back, but that hole leads to another storage room and that one leads to the jewelry store...

Did they robbers really know what they were doing? It seems they got away with the jewels, but it seems to me they only knew to avoid entering from the front and just used guess-work to get to it from the sides.

My mother says you could make a whole in the maintenance hall and access it easier, but that doesn't add up, I'm pretty sure the back of the jewelry store leads to the storage room I mentioned before, so there isn't and wall left for that?

And the thing is... I'm kinda fired, yet I still work there, what happens to me? There are going to be people there, either police or someone to fix the hole they made, and... I don't even know if what I'm doing is legal or not... Some tell me working a few hours a week while being unemployed is OK, specially since I'm not getting any unemployment checks? I also heard we might have been in the middle of switching insurance companies, so I don't even know if we are covered?

[subbes]

Well, elmuerte, perhaps once this is over you can submit it to the Daily WTF.

[Nappi]

I'm starting to suspect that elmuerte's story is in fact some viral promotion for Office Space 2 or something.

[MrHoatzin]

I can't seem to find the new website from your linkedin, Stevan.

Just, uh, click through to my company's linked in page and find the company website, link is in the bar on the right... It is just companyname.com...

[Justin Leego]

The initials and logo of that Episcopal School in companyname's showreel are a bit of a mindboggling combination.

New website's great, plenty of nice touches.

[syntheticgerbil]

Just, uh, click through to my company's linked in page and find the company website, link is in the bar on the right... It is just companyname.com...

Ah I see, I think we needed to be connected first.

I like the new site, it's very slick and simple. I'm curious as to how it looked before.

[MrHoatzin]

Ah I see, I think we needed to be connected first.

I like the new site, it's very slick and simple. I'm curious as to how it looked before.

The wayback machine has most of the images, save for the flash in the header.

[Gwardinen]

Had a sudden craving for the chocolate pretzels I ate while I was in America, but nowhere really seems to sell them here. You can get them specially from places that specifically sell US products, or Amazon, but it's like £5 a bag.

[ThunderPeel2001]

Had a sudden craving for the chocolate pretzels I ate while I was in America, but nowhere really seems to sell them here. You can get them specially from places that specifically sell US products, or Amazon, but it's like £5 a bag.

Yeah, I love those, too! I don't recall them being quite that expensive at CyberCandy, though.

(Note: Although you say "here" in your message, you don't give us any indication of where "here" is. I can see the £ sign, I guess you're in the UK -- but where? London? Also also: Last time I checked, only British computers can even see the £ sign. Most non-British users just see # whenever it's posted as far as I'm aware.)

[Twig]

I see the £. X:

I wasn't aware it was even an issue. TYPING it is an issue. I copypasted. Obviously, as an American, I don't have a key for that character.

[Orv]

Yeah, I love those, too! I don't recall them being quite that expensive at CyberCandy, though.

(Note: Although you say "here" in your message, you don't give us any indication of where "here" is. I can see the £ sign, I guess you're in the UK -- but where? London? Also also: Last time I checked, only British computers can even see the £ sign. Most non-British users just see # whenever it's posted as far as I'm aware.)

I can see it just fine, TP.

[ThunderPeel2001]

So I went to a MeetUp.com meet up in order to expose myself to more folks here in London, and possibly make a few new friends. It was a general "meet new people" evening at a restaurant, with no set agenda other than, "everyone is welcome -- let's get to know each other".

I nearly walked out when I saw that almost everyone there was in their 50s, but, not wanting to judge something before I had tried it, I decided to persevere.

Here are a few of my sample attempts at getting conversations going with the people I was sat with...

I notice everyone else is pulling their restaurant-issue Christmas crackers, so I jovially try to get the heavyset Greek guy in his 50s sitting opposite me to join in.

Me: (Jovially) Come on, time to pull a cracker.

Him: (Heavy accent, indicating the cracker) What is this?

Me: It's a Christmas cracker.

Him: What do I do?

Me: You pull on it.

Him: Then what happens?

Me: (Getting mildly frustrated, deadpan) It explodes.

He finally pulls on it, having seen other people do it.

Me: (Trying to remain positive) Well at least you got to try something new tonight. You've pulled a Christmas cracker.

Him: Yes, but I could have lived without doing it.

Me: ...

Him: It did not enhance my life.

Me: ...

Him: Do you know what I mean?

Me: ...

Later it's revealed that he's lived in London for 12 years, and has not once, in all that time, ever been to the cinema. Or, apparently, seen a Christmas cracker.

Later I turn to the person sitting to my left and try to start a conversation. He was another raconteur.

Me: Hi! I'm Johnny, I don't think I got your name.

Him: Benjamin.

Pause. He gives me nothing more.

Me: So where did you come from tonight?

Him: East London.

"East London"!, I think. You may need to live here to know what an utterly bizarre and needlessly vague answer that is to a very common question. I persevere...

Him: Where did you come from?

Me: I came from Clapham Junction.

Him: Not far.

Me: Yeah, it's pretty close. So whereabouts in "East London" do you live?

Him: Canary Wharf.

Same distance as Clapham Junction I note to myself. Not to mention an extremely well known area of London.

Me: Oh, near the Isle of Dogs, right?

Him: Yes, I live on the edge of there.

Me: Oh, cool. I've never been there, but I've always wondered what it's like. It's sort of like a separate area of London.

Him: Every part of London is like that.

Me: (Trying to remain polite) Yes, you're right, every part of London is quite different, although I sort of see the Isle of Dogs as being a bit separate as it's nearly completely surrounded by water.

Him: (Thinking) Yes, I suppose it is surrounded by water. I used to live there, actually.

Me: So what's it like?

Him: (Stares at me)

Me: (Trying to help him) Is it quite suburban? Residential?

Him: Yes, it's very suburban.

Me: So there's not like the rest of London?

Him: No, it's exactly like that.

Me: (Confused) I see.

Him: (Apparently suddenly annoyed) People just end up living wherever they can in London.

Me: ... (No freaking idea what the subtext is)

Him: (Stressing his point) Did you choose to live in Clapham Junction?

Me: (Turning away from him) Yes. Yes, I did.

I couldn't help but think the most horrible thought: NO WONDER YOU ALL HAVE TO COME TO THESE THINGS -- YOU'RE ALL SOCIALLY RETARDED!

I left as soon as I'd finished my food. I couldn't take a minute longer. There may well have been some normal people mingled in there, but unfortunately just about every conversation I had contained a similar element. (At one point I was explaining to a woman in her 50s what it was like to live in a flat share -- she still lived at home with her Mum and five sisters -- she couldn't understand how people agreed on what to watch on TV, as she and her sisters always argued.)

So I won't be going back to one of those, then.

Edited December 4, 2011 by ThunderPeel2001

[Orv]

So I went to a MeetUp.com meet up in order to expose myself to more folks here in London

I knew it.

That sounds like a truly wondrous night, TP. By which I mean, dear gods.

[Ben X]

Yeah, maybe a better thing to do would be to take some classes or book clubs or something, where if you don't meet anyone you still accomplish something, but you're more likely to meet people with similar interests.

[Thompson]

I have a lot of trouble starting a conversation with a stranger, but jesus, if somebody talks to me I try to have a good conversation. I tried to start a conversation with this guy at school who I know likes these things called "Video Games" who never talks to anyone.

Me: "So, you an XBox guy?"

Him: "Yep."

Me: "What games are you into?"

Him: "Assassin's Creed, Call of Duty..."

Me: "Modern Warfare 3?"

Him: "Yep."

*Long silence*

Me: "... you seen Battlefield 3? Looks pretty amazing."

Him: "Yeah."

Me: "Amazing that they can make those games still look pretty good on such old hardware."

Him: *Nods head*

Me: "I'm more of a PC player personally."

*He stares into space.*

Me: *Last gambit* "Are you mostly into first person shooters, or?"

Him: "Yeah."

I let him sit in silence instead.

Edited December 4, 2011 by Thompson

[ThunderPeel2001]

Agh, Thompson, I get so frustrated with people like that.

BBX, yep indeed, that's what everyone else has been telling me. Speaking of which, I really liked what we'd come up with for our little project... We should continue!

[Gwardinen]

Yeah, I love those, too! I don't recall them being quite that expensive at CyberCandy, though.

(Note: Although you say "here" in your message, you don't give us any indication of where "here" is. I can see the £ sign, I guess you're in the UK -- but where? London? Also also: Last time I checked, only British computers can even see the £ sign. Most non-British users just see # whenever it's posted as far as I'm aware.)

I have never heard of CyberCandy. I will investigate immediately.

Sorry, by "here" I did indeed mean "the UK", though I've been abandoned in the frozen northern wastes, I'm not a cushy Londoner like yourself. You all have butlers down there, right? Perhaps that's why I can't get cheap chocolate pretzels here, the caravans fear to cross too far into the untamed wilderness with such valuable goods.

Edit: Just looked at CyberCandy, and after searching for "pretzels" there were no results. Cue sad face. Yet, I persisted, and eventually found they do indeed sell "Demets (formerly Nestle) Pretzel Flipz" - sounds good! "We're very sorry that this product is out of stock" - son of a...! Well, I can hardly blame people for wanting to eat it.

[ThunderPeel2001]

I have never heard of CyberCandy. I will investigate immediately.

Sorry, by "here" I did indeed mean "the UK", though I've been abandoned in the frozen northern wastes, I'm not a cushy Londoner like yourself. You all have butlers down there, right? Perhaps that's why I can't get cheap chocolate pretzels here, the caravans fear to cross too far into the untamed wilderness with such valuable goods.

Edit: Just looked at CyberCandy, and after searching for "pretzels" there were no results. Cue sad face. Yet, I persisted, and eventually found they do indeed sell "Demets (formerly Nestle) Pretzel Flipz" - sounds good! "We're very sorry that this product is out of stock" - son of a...! Well, I can hardly blame people for wanting to eat it.

Huh. That's so strange. The chocolate covered pretzels were always a big seller for them, as far as I'm aware. Strange that I can't find them on their website. I only know the stores in London. Whereabouts are you based in the UK?

[Ben X]

Huh. That's so strange. The chocolate covered pretzels were always a big seller for them, as far as I'm aware. Strange that I can't find them on their website. I only know the stores in London. Whereabouts are you based in the UK?

Maybe after receiving Gemini Rue you should pay it forward and mail Gwardinen some chocolate pretzels? (Bet that's not advice you've been getting from "everyone else" )

[ThunderPeel2001]

Maybe after receiving Gemini Rue you should pay it forward and mail Gwardinen some chocolate pretzels? (Bet that's not advice you've been getting from "everyone else" )

You're so sensitive! I'd actually considered doing that, but we'll see... CyberCandy might not stock them any more.

[Gwardinen]

Huh. That's so strange. The chocolate covered pretzels were always a big seller for them, as far as I'm aware. Strange that I can't find them on their website. I only know the stores in London. Whereabouts are you based in the UK?

I'm near Manchester. As I said I did eventually find the pretzels, but they're out of stock. I put my email down on the list to hear from them when they're back in stock (hoping that that eventually happens). It seems like that product is just not really sold in the UK anymore, which explains the high prices and lack of stock in so many places.

[Orv]

I plan on visiting the UK in the next couple of months, I could probably smuggle you folks some chocolate pretzels. Which have always seemed like a disgusting idea, but I may have to try them. I hated the idea of chocolate raisins until I tried them, maybe I'm just stodgy.