Garple

(IGN.com)

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"[343 Studios] launches the best kind of protest, which is to wave an impressive, throbbing shooter in your face. Trust me, you want this." -- IGN.com

The leap in logic you have to make to arrive at this sentence is fucking absurd. There's no way "343 did a really good job" just NATURALLY falls out as "The best kind of protest is waving a big hard dick in someone's face."

Having decided that this sentence could only have been planned to be about erect dicks from the beginning, my only question is "why?".

It's clearly not the most apt descriptor, and there's not a single thread of relevance to class it as a joke, so WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS THIS MAN'S CRYPTIC MOTIVE?

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Oh man, every time I think we're being a little harsh on IGN--

I truly believe the box quote for Halo 4 should be "Impressive, throbbing."

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The leap in logic you have to make to arrive at this sentence is fucking absurd. There's no way "343 did a really good job" just NATURALLY falls out as "The best kind of protest is waving a big hard dick in someone's face."

Only the best protests have strange vulgar bro nudity. How would we have done the Boston Tea Party and Vietnam War marches without such methods?

I mean tea bagging is apparently the next big thing already.

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Oh man, every time I think we're being a little harsh on IGN--

I truly believe the box quote for Halo 4 should be "Impressive, throbbing."

To be fair, that quote was from Joystiq. It was only attributed to IGN for comedic effect.

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Py79b.jpg

Found this while cleaning up. Swear it's not photoshopped. Goldblum Auto 3 will blow you away.

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Also: Tekken 4 is pretty widely regarded as the worst game in that series.

Old gaming mags are funny.

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So I just came across this ancient gem:

"There's a tendency among the press to attribute the creation of a game to a single person," says Warren Spector, creator of Thief and Deus Ex.

source (via Old Man Murray)

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If we're digging into the past, one of my all-time-favorite horrible IGN quotes is this nugget splayed out across the otherwise beautiful box art for Ikaruga.

I was so angry when i saw that box art for the first time, i couldn't believe it.

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If we're digging into the past, one of my all-time-favorite horrible IGN quotes is this nugget splayed out across the otherwise beautiful box art for Ikaruga.

I was so angry when i saw that box art for the first time, i couldn't believe it.

Ahahaha, that's amazing! It's not even a cliche, it's just completely nuts!

I love that "frothing demand" and "increases" are in bold.

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Still own that box. I love that it comes up about every 10 pages during this thread, as enough time passes that people forget and then rediscover it. Not even trying to be a "old news hur hur" guy here, I actually love that.

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The second i posted it, i had this moment of realization that i may have even already posted it once before on this thread.

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Also, isn't that just... Fallout?

No, silly, keep track: fallout 3 is oblivion with guns. TOTALLY DIFFERENT.

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No, silly, keep track: fallout 3 is oblivion with guns. TOTALLY DIFFERENT.

Fallout 3 is Oblivion with guns.

Skyrim is Fallout 3 without guns.

Far Cry 3 is Skyrim with guns.

THE ELDER SCROLLS V IS FAR CRY 3 WITHOUT GUNS.

THE ELDER SCROLLS V: IGN REVELATIONS

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Honestly I really don't understand all the hate for IGN. People act as if it is some discrete entity, when of course like every other site it is a collection of editors. Some are bad, some are ok, and some are good. Regardless of your opinion, I just don't get the point of shitting on them constantly, it doesn't further anything. Ignore them when they write things you don't like, hold them accountable when they make mistakes, and applaud them when they do go. Demonizing them as a whole though, doesn't get us anywhere.

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