Garple

(IGN.com)

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"Screw it, if she wants to jump off a cliff she can go right ahead." - ign.com (Lucidity review)

Edited by Scrobbs

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"It's nice, but it simply doesn't measure up to Simon 3D" - ign.com

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It'll be soon when I get around to editing and processing the 1.5gigs of video it made :/

I saw this thread and was suddenly reminded of this.

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Oh wow! I guess I'll have to check out those Metroid Prime games them.

Nintendo should totally re-release the trilogy on Wii or something.

ha

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"I just dropped a fridge on my toes. Damn that hurt. Oh right... game... You should buy it, I guess." - ign.com

"It's so much better if you don't have to pay for the games." - ign.com

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Is that a site made by fools, or a parody site made by fools?

From the same site: "WET is a new game from developer Artificial Mind & Movement, it is a heart-pounding, adrenaline-pumping, double fisting action adventure romp."

DOUBLE WHAT????

================================

"The game makers put you inside Rubi Malone the hottest gamer girl, better then Lara Croft from the game Tomb Raider but not hotter then Angelina Jolie who played Lara Croft in the Tomb Raider Movies. Rubi Malone is voiced by Eliza Dushku who is so hot, when I play WET I think about Eliza Dushku, because she is so hot."

This website is AWESOME.

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“I don’t play Nintendo Dual Screen because it is for babies but this is the game.”-IGN.com

From http://e4g.info/1397/scribblenauts-review.html

Ha ha, you didn't perchance register on that site as Moore Cowbell did you?

Quoth:

Awesome review! Some quotes we could all take to heart:

“The art is like drawings…”

“I don’t play Nintendo Dual Screen because it is for babies but this is the game.”

“Game maker 5th Cell broke the mold when they made the best game of the year, ever.”

Think about that, kids. The best game of the year, ever. That’s not hyperbole. That’s the real shit.

Keep the reviews coming! Love ‘em!

/Quoth:

Oh, and...

http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerIndex?id=8765863

"Like Citizen Kane, you can return to Metroid Prime again and again. Both are haunted by the knowledge of loss. A bright bang in which you can see yourself for a split second before disappearing completely." - Michael Thomsen, IGN.com

HOLY CRAP! I absolutely love those games, and I am completely embarrassed by that. What the flying monkey f%&* is that s%&*!?!? Its just a video game.

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Michael Thomsen is always coming out with ridiculous crap, in my experience. I think I remember him saying that the left-to-right progression in Super Mario was the best ever piece of emotional narrative in a computer game, or something to that effect.

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"Graphic adventures rely heavily on their graphics." -- IGN.com

"This is me just being a bastard, but I have to at least try to be objective." -- IGN.com

"The graphics in this game look like poo. [...] And the music. It reminds me of a strip club that I use to go to - but it's closed down now. It just sounds bad." -- IGN.com

"[it's] fine, except when giant spider-bitches constantly block your path. Arrgggg!" -- IGN.com

Huh. Apparently there was a time when IGN had even lower standards. Reread some of their PS1 reviews. There are probably a lot more gems to find.

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Go to 1:01

Allow me.

"The graphics in this game look like poo. [...] And the music. It reminds me of a strip club that I use to go to - but it's closed down now. It just sounds bad." -- IGN.com

I particularly like that neither the writer nor copy editor knew that "use to" is wrong. Or perhaps there wasn't a copy editor.

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"I also wasn't blown away by it to the degree some other people were." - ign.com [1]

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"You want Peggle? Go fuck yourself-IGN.com"

Yeah, I just saw this and instantly thought of this thread. It's so fucking meta. It's like the usual IGN shlock self-parodied into a new shlock soup of shlock.

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HT to McBacon @ GAF for finding this one:

"'There's a tendency among the press to attribute the creation of a game to a single person,' says Warren Spector, creator of Thief and Deus Ex." - IGN.com

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