Garple

(IGN.com)

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Using Google, I searched IGN.com for quotes that fit the pattern "this game will * you".

Most of the quotes aren't so good, but here are some of the standouts.

"This game will assault you with mediocrity." - IGN.com

-- Monster Jam: Urban Assault (12/31/08)

"This game will get you drunk and get you laid." - IGN.com

-- Game Party (6/12/07)

"This game will let you live out your avian fantasies." - IGN.com

-- Puffins: Island Adventure (5/18/09)

Puffins!

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"This game is like dying and going to Heaven. Then realising it isn't your time so sending you back to play it again"-IGN.com

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So we're doing a kind of panel after hours at the develop conference tomorrow, involving beer and competing teams taking the piss out of the games industry. If I get my way, there's going to be an IGN.com round using a lot of these quotes (with a nod to the Idle Thumbs forums). If we video it, it's also likely we'll have to take that bit out for legal reasons :)

Also, this picture will be in it at some point:

post-461-13375603119843_thumb.jpg

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"Like having you junk stuck in your zipper, but the opposite" - ign.com

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"Like having you junk stuck in your zipper, but the opposite" - ign.com

"Like having your zipper stuck in your junk" - ign.com

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"Like having your zipper stuck in your junk" - ign.com

"To review this game, think of the Holocaust. Now think of the exact opposite"-IGN.com

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"To review this game, think of the Holocaust. Now think of the exact opposite"-IGN.com

"Like bringing a bunch of people different from you to life" - ign.com

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So, noone understood how the round worked, but it didn't matter because all the quotes had them in stitches. Especially the real one about having your face blown off by maximum awesome. There's video, soon.


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What is that? Literally? Like a real blowjob? Like a real explosion in my house? Like a tornado is coming soon? What is going on here?

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There's no review or preview for that game on IGN ¬¬

What kind of advertiser/developer would aspire so much to have an IGN quote that they'd make one up? Or perhaps they picked IGN because noone would really care or be offended if they got found out?

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two can play that game

"I actually made up this game" - ign.com

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"Maybe they just like Idle Thumbs." - IGN.com

I'd hope that's the reason :)

--

"So damn good I refused to admit to anyone that I had a problem" - IGN.com

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I am actually sort of guessing maybe that the "- ign.com" thing is possibly photoshopped?

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It's actually got to the point where we can't make up funny ones faster than they do.

I have a text file with a queue made of some of my favorite made up ones that haven't been posted to the twitter account yet, as well as all of the real ones with links. There are more of the latter; it's like IGN have thrown themselves wholeheartedly into it recently :tfart:

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Are they throwing themselves wholeheartedly into IGNDOTCOM quotes because their standards are dropping, or is it something more sinister?

Is our mission being perverted? Have we become... viral marketers for IGN? :zoid:

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