Some homework my sister did a few years ago

[Salka]

cleaning out my inbox and found some homework assignments my sister got a few years ago. She was 7 or 8 at the time I think. She actually got top marks for them. Hurrah.

IF ALL THE HITLERS WERE ONE HITLER by Mia Clarke

If all the george bests were one george best

What a player that wood be

if all the narnias were one narnia

what a snowy place that wood be

If all the christmas were one christmas

what presents there wood be!

if all Miss Bulgers wore one Miss Bulger

What a lovely teacher she wood be!

If all the hitlers wore one hitler

What a hitler that wood be!

ASSIGNMENT: You have just kidnapped Santa. Write a

ransom note to his wife!

I HAVE YOR FAT HUSBAND. I WILL KILL HIM IF I DONT GET

WHAT I WHANT. I WHANT TO BE THE NEW SANTA. IF YOU DONT

I WILL KILL HIM AND YOU SLOWLY AND VERY PAINFULY, YOU

WILL WISH YOU WERE DEAD BEFOR YOU ARE ACTULLY DEAD. SO

ME AND MY FRIEND CAN BE THE NEW SANTA CLOUS AND WE

MAKE KIDS DREAMS GO BAD AND I WILL MAKE EVERY ONE LIKE

ME.

trust me, you don't want this. I am very evil.

From ?

A diary that my sister was made to keep as homework (chelsea is apparently her worst enemy in her class):

SATURDAY

my homework for the weekend is to write abowt my

weekend. i did my homework today.

SUNDAY

I did my homework yesturday.

MONDAY

Today is monday. our class is empty becos everybody is

sick at home. im glad becos this means chelsea also is

sick.

A random story:

THE STORY OF LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD

hello my name is wolf. I love in wolf lane and I am

hungury. one day i met a girl. she was wearing a red

riding hood. i asked her if she wanted to come into my

house. she said yes. now i'm going to stop because it

becoms very violent. insted i'll tell you some more

about me. i'm 21 years old and im very buetiful.

[Ginger]

I'm in love, let me know when she hits 15.

[Salka]

She dresses provocatively (wears nice pants and no bra) underneath her clothes, so you could actually have sex with her now and totally get away with it... because you could argue that while she looks 10 with her clothes ON, she looked 16 when you removed her clothes.

[DanJW]

How could she get full marks when her spelling is terrible? I no longer trust Irish teachers.

[brkl]

She dresses provocatively (wears nice pants and no bra) underneath her clothes, so you could actually have sex with her now and totally get away with it... because you could argue that while she looks 10 with her clothes ON, she looked 16 when you removed her clothes.

Yufster you're the worst big sister ever.

[DanJW]

Heh, she's referencing a recent news story, in which two men were cleared of statutary rape because the girl in question basically seduced them (errr, not at the same time). All fairly straight-forward, except at one point the judge noted that the girl had been dressed provocatively under her clothes.

[Nappi]

"Your sister" is disturbed.

[Salka]

Heh, she's referencing a recent news story, in which two men were cleared of statutary rape because the girl in question basically seduced them (errr, not at the same time). All fairly straight-forward, except at one point the judge noted that the girl had been dressed provocatively under her clothes.

Also though, the girl was TEN YEARS OLD, but the judge went easy on these two men because apparently she looked over 16.

Right.

[DanJW]

Hey, it could happen, if she was the massive slut that she has clearly set out to be. Kids these days, huh?

[Nick]

ASSIGNMENT: You have just kidnapped Santa. Write a

ransom note to his wife!

This is clearly encouraging terrorism.

[Ben X]

Red Riding Hood sounds hot, too. Bit old though.

[DanJW]

That's the wolf talking!

[Salka]

Of course these days, Mia is just a stroppy fucking teenager bitch and there's no pleasing her...

[20:41] Rusalka: listen, whatcha want for your birthday?

[20:41] Rusalka: do you have CSI dvds?

[20:42] Mia: yep all of them, every series of every csi csi miami csi ny csi vagas EVERY ONE!!

[20:42] Rusalka: Ok

[20:42] Rusalka: hmm

[20:42] Rusalka: I can't find any movies with that guy you like in them

[20:42] Rusalka: eric spazdia?

[20:42] Mia: Eric Szmanda??

[20:43] Rusalka: Yeah him

[20:43] Rusalka: I looked up the ones you gave me the name of but can't find anywhere to buy them... give me a link to somewhere to buy them

[20:49] Mia: Ohhh

[20:49] Mia: I'm going to have the worse bday now

[20:50] Rusalka: No

[20:50] Rusalka: The worst birthday is if you got no presents at all... or died

[20:50] Mia: yes well i mite as well

[20:50] Rusalka: stop being so ungrateful

[20:52] Mia: No i just wanted t have a movie with eric in it

[20:58] Mia: I dont need a birthday presant from you anyway, I'm getting a birthday presant from mum

[20:58] Rusalka: ...Ok then, if you're sure

[20:59] Mia: as if you were going to get me a presant anywway...

[20:59] *** "Mia" signed off at Thu Jul 12 20:59:03 2007.

[DanJW]

Your family are all just like you. It would be cute if you weren't all so terrifying.

[Nick]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=zyjT-cKrSk4

[Wrestlevania]

[20:52] Mia: No i just wanted t have a movie with eric in it

I'm sure Dan or Ginger would willingly oblige...