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Roderick

Stupid free newspapers

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We already had two kinda samey free newspapers clogging up public transport, but earlier this year we got another one, and recently yet another one. It drives me nuts. Why? Because with the positive exception of one of them (the recent De Pers, which actually tries to bring something qualitative every day), they're ALL THE FUCKING SAME and utter shite.

Sp!ts and Metro have been added to with another irrelevant piece of crap called Dag ('Day'), which tries to set itself apart by presenting less words and more pictures. Because words are bad, bah! We don't understand all those mean sentences, we want more funny images! It doesn't help that the layout is fucking horrible and the headlines are (get this) enveloped in yellow blocks like someone selected them in Microsoft Word and put a coloured background behind them. :frusty:

Why am I suddenly writing about this garbage? Because the screaming headline of today's Dag was about that humans would soon live to reach 300 years (didn't read the article so can't comment on that). And underneath it was this quasi-critical, faux-reflective bullshit question: ,,But will it make us happier?". What a load of crock! I can't believe it! It was bad enough that they soil our land with their crap in the first place, but now they're pretentious as well?! What an utter non-question!

The Rolling Stones are touring again!

-> But will it make us happier?

Red apples are good for you.

-> But will it make us happier?

AARGHBLARBBBJHLBA!

HARGHBLIABBBBALF!!

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nobody is forcing you to read it, although this "Dag" I am forced to empty the mail box more than once a week.

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We have 4 here in Calgary as well, although one is a purely independant entertainment rag (Called FFWD) which is actually alright and only comes out on Thursdays. Helps to keep me abreast of upcoming band shows and such. Otherwise, the C-Train is perpetually fouled up by discarded copies of free throwaway editions of the bigger newspapers that they think we won't notice are the same thing because they call it something different and have more advertisements. One of ours is named Metro as well and is puke-green and way too flashy, can't be buggered to remember the other two. One of them is a nauseating orange colour, the other just looks like someone printed it in their basement.

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We got maybe three here in Vaasa. They are worth maybe one quick look and that's about it. What a way to waste paper.

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Sp!ts was always shitty but it's funny to see how Metro progressed from having an actual decent amount of news (albeit almost all rewrites of AP or Reuters stories) to having about 3 pages of news and 20 pages of random ads and articles.

Metro pisses me off more than any free newspaper because the metro station I go to every morning has annoying people trying to give me Metros and even after months of saying "no, thank you" they are still trying. KILL THEM.

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Metro pisses me off more than any free newspaper because the metro station I go to every morning has annoying people trying to give me Metros and even after months of saying "no, thank you" they are still trying. KILL THEM.

Oh boy, let me tell you how much I like that stuff!

There are always five or six guys from two papers when I get off the bus to go down the subway, where there might be one or two more, or perhaps the nice gentleman who thinks I will buy bread and bakeries from a fucking man in the subway.

The ride is smooth for a while, until I get to school, where the fun begins again. Go up the escalators and be greeted by five people trying to sell you mobile phone subscriptions. After quickly escaping them there's the next group of newspaper-peddlers, about four or five people. Then, if you're lucky you'll even bump in to the fine vendors of free student lifestyle magazines. Then, finally, there may or may not be the occasional stray Asian exchange student who'll catch you by asking for directions and proceed to invite you to Bible seminars.

This has been going on for years. Feels great to vent about it though!

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Hey wait, I thought I posted this in the chit-chat forum? Man, I'm losing it.

Done. :tup:

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Metro pisses me off more than any free newspaper because the metro station I go to every morning has annoying people trying to give me Metros and even after months of saying "no, thank you" they are still trying. KILL THEM.

My brother's way of dealing with that kind of thing: Without slowing down, point directly at their face and accompany it with a loud "NO!"

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Damn, it sounds pretty aggressive over there. We just have newsboxes everywhere full of the damn things. People grab them themselves, though I have no idea why. The only one that's actively peddled is the one that a bunch of homeless people write together at the shelter and publish at kinkos, Street Talk. I know it sounds like I'm making that up, but it's true. They'll then have people stand in front of office buildings exchanging papers for whatever people can spare. I'll buy one now and again, if only because I can at least admire the effort in that case.

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A friend I met at university would take exception to these. She once berated a group of flyer distributers about the waste of paper and the damage caused to the environment. She made one of them cry. It was awsome.

We have Metro here too, as well as in London (I was under the impression it started in London, but I might be wrong). It think it's one of them there entreprenurial success stories, probably responsible for all the copycats as well.

In Brighton we also have several free glossy magazines, which are slightly better quality and aren't touted. You just pick one up from a pile.

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The weirdest thing is that the touters always look so happy despite the fact that ppl are crashing into them, grabbing papers off them, and insulting them all the time. The ones in Dublin congregate around the entrance of the train stations, so it can get pretty ugly at rush hour. We do have a free publication called Mongrel that's pretty cool though, and we used to have one called the Slate but it got shut down for being slanderous. they're both just bitchy cynical little publications, but v amusing.

Off the topic a little, I'm going insane trying to find mpegs to download. Does anyone know of any good video clip libraries I can download and edit from?

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My brother's way of dealing with that kind of thing: Without slowing down, point directly at their face and accompany it with a loud "NO!"

I hit them on the nose with a newspaper.

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I hit them on the nose with a newspaper.

I tell them, "Thanks, but I don't have a cat."

They usually get it after a moment; it's quite interesting to watch their expression shift quickly several times as they mull it over.

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My brother's way of dealing with that kind of thing: Without slowing down, point directly at their face and accompany it with a loud "NO!"

lol

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I can't remember, actually. There was some post on some site at some point about a Pac-Man skeleton being found, and of course as soon as I saw the title I knew I'd have to use the photo if there was one. :woohoo:

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Ha, I thought it might be a Pacman skull. The eye sockets seem a bit far back though. Unless they're not really eyes but are merely markings that look like eyes, like on a butterfly's wing. Making Pacman eyeless, like the Alien.

Now I'm scared of Pacman.

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They aren't eye sockets, they're merely skull contours (we have similar bits in the side of our skull). I think it's the skull of the original pac-man who definitely had no eyes (trust me, I work with him all day T_T )

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A friend I met at university would take exception to these. She once berated a group of flyer distributers about the waste of paper and the damage caused to the environment. She made one of them cry. It was awsome.

She sounds like an absolute cunt.

Mind your own fucking business, hippies. And cut off your fucking smelly dreads and take all those bits of colourful ragged string out of your hair because I'm sick of looking at them.

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You've met her, she lives in Ireland; if you're not careful she may well murder your entire family including your tiny little sisters, saving them from the terrible fate of growing up to be as contrite as you are.

Love ya

Dan

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She sounds like an absolute cunt.

Mind your own fucking business, hippies. And cut off your fucking smelly dreads and take all those bits of colourful ragged string out of your hair because I'm sick of looking at them.

I take exception to the dreads remark.

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