Vlynn911

Guy gamers with girlfriends

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Okay Guy gamers I need some assistance my boyfriend is a huge gamer this means he plays wow and counterstrike for hours apon hours I agreed to play because I like games too! never really knew about online games but i thought I would give it a try so I created a warlock on wow and can play for about 4 hours maybe somtimes more. And just to be involved when im not playing I would watch him until I went to bednot only that when he had his land party I cooked for all his friends and watched them play. But lately his gaming has become his job especially with raids and to be honest hes addicted and now I ask him to hang out and do stuff and he gets madI mean really mad. I like the outdoors and just doing other stuff I don't what to do I honestly think this whole gaming thing is making our relationship shitty if you guys have any reccomendations please respond!

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It would depend on how long you have been going out for...

<6 months - dump him, he seems to be losing interest if 24/7 gaming is better than the alternatives you can offer :grin:

any longer and you'll have to work it out (this requires you tell him that your not happy). If he is reasonable he will realise and try to cut back, if he isn't reasonable it probably isn't going to work.

After all, it is a partnership and I think he is pretty lucky to have a girl who does like gaming and is willing to change in order to accomodate his hobbies.

mind you, I could be wrong

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Dump that zero, and get'ca self a hero! Uh-uh.

...Or just, like, talk about it or something....

Sorry, I'll leave now....

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Dames? Fuck dames. Girls come and go, but video games are always there for a guy. You don't like it? Get over it. Its part of who he is, and if you can't handle it, find someone who lost his thumbs in 'Nam or something.

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Hey, I'm a girl too, but I hope I can help put this whole problem in perspective.

This guy sounds like an addict - and talking would be the first step. But if he can't look past his gaming addiction, you have to make a choice. Dump the guy, or stand next to him. However, from what you've explained, he clearly is a selfish idiot - he doesn't quite appreciate the effort you're trying to share in his interests. And he won't do the same for you. He might, but so far, utter failure.

You're a girl, a gamer girl. There's fifty bazillion guys out there dreaming for a girl like you. Basically, if you drop him, life is not as lonely as you'd think. And I'm positive you will find someone who appreciates you for you and enjoys being with you.

Like the other things the guys have said, gaming is a part of him, and unless he makes a willing effort to include you more into his life, nothing is going to change. You can always see if he would notice if you were gone for say like a week - see how bad his gaming addiction is. If he doesn't notice that you're gone, you know the answer.

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Yeah, pretty much second what knar said.

But if you really think he's worth it, it is going to pretty difficult to drag him away from WoW.

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Well, if you've been making the effort to accommodate his MORPG habit and he won't indulge your strange desire for "oxygen" and the like, this should really be brought to his attention next time he's mad about it. If he's not putting the effort in, then the idle threat of things going to shit rather quickly could help him to get his ass in gear.

Tell him about the plusses of it. I personally have found that a girl dragging me outside every once in a while has actually given me quite a nice tan and helped the complexion a bit (not that I was hideous to begin with, but outside'll help the boy.) That, or hide his modem somewhere in the nearest public park and tell him it's a scavenger hunt.

If you've been with this guy for a while and you really care for him, get the boy outside more often, whether he wants it or not. It'll help him out and he may even develop a taste for it. If this wasn't a long-term thing, it may be time to let go. Whatever the choice, good luck to ya.

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I have a friend who if he's not too drunk or playing a certain outdoor game, he's playing World of Warcraft. He even has the whole headset system so he can TALK with his guild buddies during a raid/instance instead of typing! He is, to me, the true definition of a gamer, whose most companies, specially Blizzard, cater to his type of audience who just buys games on impulse.

So anyway, there used to be this girl who was his ex-girlfriend but still best friend (weird situation) and she would always either go watch him play in his dorm room and uh.. fall asleep on the floor, or actually play World of Warcraft with him from her room. Until one fateful spring break my friend hooked up with this girl and stop talking to ex-girl/best friend, who got pissed off and was freed from world of warcraft. She was pursuing this other guy, and they've finally spending some time now that she quit playing WOW.

I don't know why I told this story, but I guess vlynn might end up like that girl I know who ended up getting more hurt by following my friend around for like 4 years instead of going on her own.

You better talk to your boyfriend or sumthin' cuz he's just taking you for granted.

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If you talk to him about it and he doesn't try to accomidate you, drop him.

I live with my girl friend. There are times when you just want to have fun on your own, or play games together, but if that's not what you want to do, and you let him know, and he doesn't at least TRY to do something else, you don't need him.

It's all about effort.

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now I ask him to hang out and do stuff and he gets madI mean really mad.

Six words: "How deeply do you love me?"

Depending on how he answers, and how long it takes him to formulate that answer, three words: "I'm leaving you."

It may take you a few weeks, several months, a year, but you'll move on.

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now I ask him to hang out and do stuff and he gets madI mean really mad.

Staying with someone that has an anger problem is never a good idea. You should leave this guy alone with his video games.

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Heh, like I didn't see this whole WOW addiction epidemic coming a mile away.

I starting playing text-based MUDs when I was about 12 or 13 (10 or 11 years ago). ZombieMUD, my game of choice, consumed a LOT of my time on and off for a few years. Before the days of widespread broadband, I would have to hook up my 56k through a 100-foot cable to connect it into my mother's room at 9:00pm (using the only phone-line in the house) and would attempt to quietly reconnect everything without waking her up at 3 or 4 am (usually successfully, but still). I'd also spend about 5 hours on Saturday mornings at the library (T1's are great). Even when I was done, it was a lot of what I thought about.

I had to get out of that sort of gaming. The worst part is, I think that if I went back to the game and my character was still there, I'd probably take up where I left off (considering that I'm now an adult with my own internet connection etc.). It's a hard habit to break and I wish you the best of luck.

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As a guy who has a non-gamer girlfriend, a guy must learn to prioritize. We have a few rules. I may be playing a game, she may be entertained for a few minutes, but if she gets anxious (because she wants to hang out with me, not with my computer), the rule is that she must tell me what she's feeling. I can't read her mind. I can read the frown on her face - but communication is probably the most important part of any relationship, so we both make a point of saying how we feel, not assuming the other person knows, whether or not they really do. If she says 'come hang out with me', I will - not perhaps right away, as if I'm playing World of Warcraft, it's not really a wise thing to log out in the middle of a Gnoll encampment or something. She understands that it may not be right away - but if that's the case, I also take the time to thereafter be more involved with her even if I am playing - I try to start a conversation, so she's not just sitting there waiting for me, wondering if I really am headed back to the tavern in town to log out.

With the exception of Psychonauts and The Neverhood, which she loves (mwahaha), she's not the least bit a gamer. Right up there with communication, is comprimise - if that's not something one or both of the folks involved in the relationship are capable of, one or both of ya ain't gonna be happy. That goes for World of Warcraft, or no World of Warcraft; it's universal. If he can't comprimise, LET ALONE communicate about the lack of attention he gives you, there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Some of them have gills, or little glowing antennae, but there's at least one, if not more, dying to give you the attention he isn't.

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I will - not perhaps right away, as if I'm playing World of Warcraft,

LOL.

But yes. :shifty:

Communication is an extremely important part of any relationship. There must be trust not only involving ones behaviour, but also concerning ones ability to express their feelings in a precise and helpful way, so that the other partner might know how to respond.

It is too often in modern day relationships we see a breakdown in these vital communications. Women feel that if they make known their feelings to a man, be it directly related to the relationship or perhaps due to outside factors, they will be viewed as 'whiney' or 'emotional'; likewise, men do not make known their emotions or feelings, whether related to the relationship or otherwise, as they believe that's a feminine thing to do. In order to prevent a repeat in this pattern, it is absolutely vital that both sides agree to share their feelings at all times, whether they are good or bad. For instance, a man coming home from a hard day of work might choose to say he is fed up as he enters the home. This will prepare the woman for his mood and enable her best to coax him better. Similarly, a woman might choose to give a meaningful sigh at the dinner table, a sure sign that she is restless and in need of attention in the bedroom!

Of course, at first you may feel alarmed at the openess this will create in your relationship, or reluctant to partake in a little harmless moaning yourself, but do not fret. After a while you will become completely familiar with this method of sharing your emotions with a loved one, and every day you will moan about one thing or another. Your partner will know exactly how you feel at all times. Stubbed your toe? Tell him! Somebody stole your parking space at work? Let her know! It doesn't stop there either. When you get truly familiar with each other, why not let them know how you feel about them, personally? Don't like her face? Despise his existence? Let each other know because this is what a healthy relationship is like.

Hope this information helps :)

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Similarly, a woman might choose to give a meaningful sigh at the dinner table, a sure sign that she is restless and in need of attention in the bedroom!

I'll just go on the record as saying that "the sigh" is the most bullshit "effective communication method" ever always, and yet it is resoundingly popular with the ladies worldwide. Good assessment of the meaning of the sigh, though I can't tell how much of a joke that post was.

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I'll just go on the record as saying that "the sigh" is the most bullshit "effective communication method" ever always, and yet it is resoundingly popular with the ladies worldwide. Good assessment of the meaning of the sigh, though I can't tell how much of a joke that post was.

I prefer the pout. A very powerful tool if used properly.

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LOL.

But yes. :shifty:

Communication is an extremely important part of any relationship. There must be trust not only involving ones behaviour, but also concerning ones ability to express their feelings in a precise and helpful way, so that the other partner might know how to respond.

It is too often in modern day relationships we see a breakdown in these vital communications. Women feel that if they make known their feelings to a man, be it directly related to the relationship or perhaps due to outside factors, they will be viewed as 'whiney' or 'emotional'; likewise, men do not make known their emotions or feelings, whether related to the relationship or otherwise, as they believe that's a feminine thing to do. In order to prevent a repeat in this pattern, it is absolutely vital that both sides agree to share their feelings at all times, whether they are good or bad. For instance, a man coming home from a hard day of work might choose to say he is fed up as he enters the home. This will prepare the woman for his mood and enable her best to coax him better. Similarly, a woman might choose to give a meaningful sigh at the dinner table, a sure sign that she is restless and in need of attention in the bedroom!

Of course, at first you may feel alarmed at the openess this will create in your relationship, or reluctant to partake in a little harmless moaning yourself, but do not fret. After a while you will become completely familiar with this method of sharing your emotions with a loved one, and every day you will moan about one thing or another. Your partner will know exactly how you feel at all times. Stubbed your toe? Tell him! Somebody stole your parking space at work? Let her know! It doesn't stop there either. When you get truly familiar with each other, why not let them know how you feel about them, personally? Don't like her face? Despise his existence? Let each other know because this is what a healthy relationship is like.

Hope this information helps :)

What happened to this thread? Yufster actually is making some sense....

Although I agree with Knar, again, if you want to manipulate a male/partner a sigh indicates disatisfaction/irritaion, whereas the pout is more efective because although it is immediatly indicated that the user of pout is disatisfied it doesn't alienate.

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What happened to this thread? Yufster actually is making some sense....

Although I agree with Knar, again, if you want to manipulate a male/partner a sigh indicates disatisfaction/irritaion, whereas the pout is more efective because although it is immediatly indicated that the user of pout is disatisfied it doesn't alienate.

what? I've used the pout for evil before. I'm not as angelic as you think. It's great for guilt trips.

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Hmmm... Maybe I'm not quite as au fait with the intricacies as I would like to be.

I'm not saying that the pout doesn't induce guilt... But a sigh, guilt inducing or not, irritates at the same time.

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No one said relationships were easy. Women like to be more subtle from time to time. Or that's what I've learned here in America, but I wouldn't listen to me either. I mean, I'm relatively clueless when it comes to some social cues.

The eye raise is also in this so-called arsenal.

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This is kind off-topic to vlynn, but since this is Idle Thumbs:

Men and women definitely send signals differently. Like women are always expecting me to understand what they mean with hints and little things, and I'm like "duhhh... wha?". But (here's where it gets off-topic) in Façade, you talked to both Trip and Grace, and they both got my messages the same way. Most of the time they felt insulted, but I can't help but noticed how bitchy and whiney they both are... their expressions are still the same; they get the my hints the same way and they both get angry the same way. That wouldn't happen in real life! :grin:

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What happened to this thread? Yufster actually is making some sense....

Although I agree with Knar, again, if you want to manipulate a male/partner a sigh indicates disatisfaction/irritaion, whereas the pout is more efective because although it is immediatly indicated that the user of pout is disatisfied it doesn't alienate.

Oh yes, I put so much sense into that post that I no longer have the ability to hear or touch things.

The sigh is a most effective way of communicating, depending on the frequency, length and volume of the sigh it can mean any number of things. If men don't understand this they are obviously stupid, like mentally handicapped children.

Also the pout, depending on how hard the lips are pressed together, can have up to twelve different meanings.

Yet men fail to understand the meaning of a sigh. Like yesterday, I went into the living room, stood in the centre in front of the TV and said, 'Jesus, SIGHHH'. What was the reaction? Nothing, nobody was even in the room and the TV was off. This meant that my previous sigh, meaning, 'let's go watch a movie in the living room' had been misunderstood. That, or maybe he's ignoring me. Maybe he hates me. I'm going to go cut myself in the bathroom until I find some answers. Maybe I'll walk past him and yell, 'SIGHHH' at his face until he figures out something is wrong. Then, when he asks, I'll say, 'POUT' and throw myself onto the floor in a tantrum.

This is how hard it is to make men sense that you're upset nowadays.

Vlynn I recommend talking to your boyfriend about his problem using a series of high-frequency, trembling sighs. If he still won't listen, try pouting silently in the corner. Failing that, you could always post on an internet forum about what a cunt he is.

- Yufster

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Guys constantly tell me that they're a lot simpler than the subtle social cues we try to hint at.

Maybe you have to work on the puppy dog / sad eyes. Then he'll get it.

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