General Fuzzy McBitty Posted April 2, 2005 Oh, it's bad luck to be you. A chosen one of many isn't new When you think you're full of luck in the bullock's you'll get struck Oh, it's bad luck to be you. Now, Ogan came young from the farm. And tried to save the princess from all harm. Equipped with just a stick And a head makde out of brick. His rabbit's foot failed as a charm. Oh, it's bad luck to be you. The prophecy is never coming true In a pickle you'll be stuck Like a chicken you'll cluck Oh, it's bad luck to be you. Believing that he was the one His Ego weighed in at a ton. His Mum's a crazy bat. Did we mention that she was fat. And she'll need a pine box for her son. Oh, it's bad luck to be you. Don't think for just a second it's not true When your life has run amuck You'll see that you're the schmuck. Oh, it's bad luck to be Really bad luck to be Nobody could disagree. It's a freaking guarantee. Oh, it's bad luck to be you. Diddly doo. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nick Posted April 2, 2005 You crack packet shit bitch mother licking twat cock fuck fucking cunt skag face raped little pice of rancid meat trash rubbing your saggy dripping beef curtains against mr fucking techno swank. Why don't you just go and fuck him you whore. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lailoken Posted April 2, 2005 all work and no fun makes johnny angry! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lailoken Posted April 2, 2005 a man was jumping off a cliff when he caught naught but a whiff of smoke the size of peanuts that stung his eyes like papercuts he started dreaming steadily and came around quite readily to realize that after all there is no life after the fall so tumbling stumbling rumbling on it came to him he'd soon be gone and none the wiser he would be had he been a bumblebee so up and off he went away flying cross landscapes the smell of hay and dreaming all the time about what life was really all about a little sparrow ate him up and mr jumpers on a cup had thought quite rightly it's insane that men has something like the brain to think of stuff so brown and dull to think of ships without a hull to dream of women without hats and mice who are but wingless bats but couldn't hit a homerun ever because mice aren't really all that clever Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lailoken Posted April 2, 2005 also one fatty box as big as a barn jumped turtle and snowed Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
General Fuzzy McBitty Posted April 2, 2005 Snoochie Boochies Little Noochies! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Intrepid Homoludens Posted April 3, 2005 Mine's hidden but I can see yours!!!! Nyah!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fairygdmther Posted April 3, 2005 Lost in the backseat of a car, a tiny piece of flesh. The few drops of blood record a rite of passage. FGM Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bc9b Posted April 3, 2005 I'm a human wegie, of science! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nick Posted April 3, 2005 Canned feotus sits sits upon a swing swing high to get a look look at all the tits Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Intrepid Homoludens Posted April 3, 2005 Something smells like vinegar. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
General Fuzzy McBitty Posted April 3, 2005 Hey, you got a cat, cause I feel something licking me. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Intrepid Homoludens Posted April 3, 2005 I don't have a pussy, no. Sometimes, when the kids are in bed for the night, I like to dance naked in the microwave oven. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jazhara7 Posted April 3, 2005 Jackie Chan singing "I'll make a man out of you" in Cantonese rocks bonsai! Ah, yes. The famous warcry... - :) :) :) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lailoken Posted April 3, 2005 you are all just a bunch of phonies! Hey, you phonies! You are all phonies! Making up stuff like that must seem real nice, you phonies! Phonies! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fairygdmther Posted April 3, 2005 Cacaphony, his Eulogy, Spoken in Monotony. Where is his soliloquy? Out upon the balcony. FGM-Lyn Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lailoken Posted April 3, 2005 he shot himself in the foot a bunch of butterflies were alighting on the morning breeze a girl in the park was shuddering as she prepared to go for a run sleepy eyes battling the morning light windows revealing their stains in the morning glow and out in the open the devil is still dancing his insane dance the city wakes and the air starts to die thunder in the west the land is still all is still and the world is turning Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Spaff Posted April 6, 2005 My name is sir walter john bethlehelm and I am a knight of a mythical realm my horse is black as the hell night sky Enemies scatter scared by my War cry The syndrome i have is classic but great no elbow it seems can poke peas from my plate i keep my cards right close to my chest and when i beat you at poker its because i'm the best But sometimes a parsnip shaped dynamic fiend Will surprise me by singing and prancing it seems Sylvester stallone can convince him to stop But they’ve run out of slys at the local shop The vegetable dancer will suck out my eyes It might take one or multiple tries My chest kept cards and peas on my plate Oh save them all from their transexual fate Peeling the corner from one of the cards Opens a portal to beyond the stars We enter the doorway with lisps and some cake Me and my parsnip, cards, peas and plate When I wake up I'm surrounded by crabs All crawling in piles of unwanted flab Barnacled feet protrude from the wall From terribly old fashioned porter named paul I take up my mace and jump on my horse Push through the crustacian crowd with some force But then from my side a terrible wail Makes my fingers twitch and my face go pale From all around me a din without equal Erupts like a sound made by too many people I look on in horror I start to get giddy And see peadophiles, buggering kiddies A great crowd of gibbering, sweaty faced men All gurning and grunting, I turn away, then From out of the very most corner of eye I see brian blessed, but he's half man half fly Oh great bearded buzzing and bellowing Brian Please jump on thes dirty old peado's and fry'em With your laser eyes and your sparkling cape Prevent these poor kids from their peado rape fate The beardy bluebottle flew into the sky And hovers for a moment and calls out a cry 'These rapists' I think 'will certianly die' As Brian unbuckles his pants and screams out 'Diiiiiiive' After the squashing is over and done My precious collection has been whisked by my mum A bowl of bright green pea coloured cards In a tuppaware box from a holiday in france I snatch up my luncheon, and then turn to run The crabs and the paedos are smashed into one Great big evil monster with brian as a face I will need better weapons than my one little mace Putting my fingers deep into my ears I squeeze out a sound from tears for fears A high pitched oink with a grease porky beat my face sends forth pot roast and knocks Brian to his feet The wobbling child molesting brian blessed foe Wobbles his matter and begins to glow From out of my pocket fly chas and dave And construct from brian's carcass a cockney cave And lo and behold a knees up was had With dubious dave and the man they call Chaz And paedos went fleeing as if from a storm No longer a threat to the gasping new born But Chazzy and Dave have a dastadly scheme And produce from their pockets a magical bean "Hear you go sonny, put this in the ground" And then from their mouths...a giggling sound I was dubious yes I thought this all strange So I waited until they were out of range Then not waiting for any more time to go by The magical bean went into my eye It lodged there quite sweetly, like a well behaved bean But later that day I began to scream As from out of my face grew a massive bin liner And my body oozed pus like a mouldy vagina From out of the murk came the smug double act "ha...you have made such a terrible pact" They said to me lauging as I struggled and squirmed If you take beans from us you will surely be turned Into a miserable vaginoid sack "Please help me" I cried "wont you please turn me back" "I don’t think so" they smirked and threw me to the mud Your going to be the new bin in our pub. My prestigeous knight status was stained and smeared I was no longer a master of violence and fear Now people deposit soiled waste in my eyes Whilst chas and dave wear their cockney disguise Whilst I lay crouched and covered in muck I discover my peas behind an old packet of 'luck' I rummage around in my bin liner eyes And discover a rather perculiar prize Flipping right over onto my back I manage to reach right down into the sack And feeling my way around In the dark I grab something warm the shape of an arse The arse is podgy, callous, caucasion And not only that, it's dressed for the occasion Wearing a bow tie and shorts made from crime It barks out for me to tell it the time Why? Well dressed anus, do you need to know, The name of the hour and can we not go To a shoppe far from here where perhaps there are guns And shoot chaz and dave, their dads and their mums. The stylish sphincter, turned around, winked And pulled out intestines all fleshy and pink From out of the gap inbetween its pale cheeks "With this new time lapse stomach, I'll bury these freaks!!" It screamed with a terrible deafening roar I told it the time as I dove to the floor Over my head the bums guts went a screaming To blow bits of dave all over the ceiling Dave and the Chaz were blown up like balloons Which brought to an end their gay cockney tunes An with the end of this strange batty verse I was freed from the pain of the pubby bin curse. I leapt full of joy to my newly found feet And ran like a spaz from the pub to the street Where I found a pound coin in the shape of tear Which I put in a slot I had found in my ear The street and the pub and the corpses and cars Dissolved in a vortex of bright swirling stars And when I came round bile stuck in my throat I was now the theme music of murder she wrote. As I sang an old woman typed at a type writer Telling the tales of this old-aged crime fighter Angela Lansbury, pensioner and grandma A stupid old woman with dellusions of grandeur Melody and chorus came to and end With an almighty verse that was sure to offend My lyrics were swearing about paedo perversion The punters were shocked! What a cunning diversion When no one was looking I leapt on my steed Whilst angela's war wounds all started to bleed From them poured tango of multiple flavours And all kinds of snacks from malteesers to quavers This writer and actor bled pure entertainment... While I flew in the sky filled with derangement My senses now filled with a gay abstract chorus I flew on my steed the ground layed out before us. My steed was an old crispy packet I'd found Alone and all weepy, picked from the ground By my healing, golden, benevolent hands Now forced to constantly travel the land The tango and quavers and multilpe snacks Were gaining quite fast, they were right on our backs!! When all of a sudden I started to laugh I chuckled and gibbered and giggled and gasped The snacks were confused and scratched at their scalps Well would of, but heads it seems they were without And hands in fact neither these snacks did possess But they stood there confused and scratched none the less I looked at them stern, I stared hard and long And said "My dear snacks. What do you stand on?" Panic the felt and then fear and then pain They fell to their deaths and I set off again... I stared at the sun til my retinas burned Then screamed at my steed who started to gurn I pull down my pants, to my steed's frantic shock I paint him a picture with the end of my cock The picture is better than any ive seen I've rendered a perfect cock painted queen Mary Queen of scots stares at me back And the audience around me rythmically claps An audience ? Where ? And then how ? And then Who ? The sound of the clapping it grew and it grew A tumultuous roar like the screaming of goats I turned to sea miles and miles of throats. With two tiny arms but then hands of such size At the end of them I nearly shat in surprise As the clapping continued, I soon realised They were after my crispies my strange flying prize "We want all your crispies" the larynxs cheered But just then the fly/Brian blessed appeared "My god!!! Its you Brian! Tell me how do you do it!!" Brian laughed at a snivelling throat and then blew it.. ..Away with the lasers he keeps in his cheeks Another throat mumbled, he bellowed "IT SPEAKS!!" "AND WHAT DOES IT SAY? THIS STRANGE MUTATED CREATURE!!" "We will kill you now blessed" "kill you then eat ya" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Spaff Posted April 6, 2005 The handy throats spake and ran forth in a throng The ions in brians eye cannons flashed on And then off and then on as they tore into reeems Of desperate throats who with savage throat screams Sang out their anthem to all that could hear Each and every throat beast sang forth in a cheer "We are the throat people, our tonsils will smite you We'll Give you bronchitus and possibly bite you" The Throats opened wide in magnificent chorus And out stepped a throat that was totally gorgeous The throat had high heels but no legs feet or body It leapt to my face and it started to snog me No lips and no tounge made kissing quite tough "ENOUGH OF THIS TOM FOOLERY! I'VE HAD ENOUGH!" Brianfly hovered above the mass throaty choir And erected a sign that said 'throats for hire' The throats were all sold for various means Each buyer had some kind of devillish scheme One wanted a throat as some strange pastry cutter Another saw throats as bread knives to spread butter One wanted a dog throat to get him his slippers One wanted a beer throat to test out his bitters One needed a throat to perform in a play One needed a camp throat to be a bit gay. But one throat was left and to my distate The throat that remained was the one on my face The sex throat all sweaty and pouty and thrusting Still rumps on my chin like my skin needs adjusting I wailed and yelled and gnashed all my teeth Brian tore off the sex throat and said "look beneath... ...this terrible throat and its x rated looks This beast could put you in the history books I stared at the limp, squirming packet of meat And started to feel a warm glow in my feet That rose up to my head, it felt snug like a glove I said "Oh my beautifull Brian!! It's love" I swept up my bride in a florish and found That I was unable to lift Brian from the ground We both tumbled over and caused injury Brian was concussed and I grazed my knee I cried like the first weak and unsteady child To fall to its knees, it's anus defiled By the lumbering, weightlifting, sweaty faced ape He shares his cell with when convicted for rape. "My kneesies!" I wheezed won't you release me please From the grave grazing pain that is making me freeze Like a poor frightened bunny in the oncoming light Of a 4 wheel drive on a highway at night. Brian looked sad and then angry, then shocked His eyes full of pain on his knees he did rock Back and forth as if seeing betrayal so dire He jumped to his feet in the street and said "liar." In a voice that was quiet and silent and soft I nonetheless knew that all was now lost The pain had made plain my untruths rehearsed I am not a knight as is said in this verse...... As all around me collapses and fades And I realise my life is just one long tirade I don’t wear armour a sword or a helm I'm not a knight of a magical realm! But brian is still here despite my realisation his mood is more sober, like its someone's cremation And with one final burst he claims 'THIS IS YOUR FATE' And his bulbous brian elbow pokes the peas from my plate! The peas from my plate at last go a streaking Into the air just as brian starts speaking Of a shop he has found not too far from my home With a constant supply of Sylvester Stallones. [end pending] (a poem by Spaff and Slicklips) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ysbreker Posted April 6, 2005 random gibberish, people! Not poems! Random Gibberish! echo /dev/random >> idle_t forum Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tanukitsune Posted April 6, 2005 Mr. Mango make me mad! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
General Fuzzy McBitty Posted April 6, 2005 An Oompa Loompa Ate My Baby! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites