Erwin_Br Posted December 2, 2004 Gawd I hope nawt.I live in Brooklyn, not Queens. But dear lord, my mother used to love that show, and every time she did, she'd lapse into that accent for about three hours. Really? They're re-running it here and I must admit I like it a lot. Although some jokes are a bit predictable. --Erwin Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Erwin_Br Posted December 3, 2004 I'm Jewish. Sexy! --Erwin Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lindset Posted December 3, 2004 I'd kill my boss and nail him to the counter Seriously though, can he fire employees for caling in sick? I don't think they can over here... Anyway... Give him an ultimatum or something Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Salka Posted December 3, 2004 I know a guy from Norway who thinks he's from San Francisco. He's funny. He's confused. Are you from San Francisco or just Norway? Where in Norway are you from? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nick Posted December 4, 2004 I thought that was gonna be a limerick Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Salka Posted December 4, 2004 Today, at work, I was admiring the Apple Ipods on their fantastic wall display with all the sparkly blue tinsel, and listening to Tasmin Archer - Sleeping Satellite with the earphones, to block out the sound of a thousand Christmas Shoppers in the background, and feeling sorry for myself, when Dave quietly walked up beside me. Or maybe he wasn't being quiet, I don't know, because I had the earphones jammed halfway into my head. "Blah blah blah," he said. "WHAT!?" I yelled. Removing one earphone from my brain, he repeated himself, "What are you listening to?" "TASMI-- Tasmin Archer." He held the earphone to his ear. What seemed like 120 seconds passed, but it seemed like two minutes. The song ended. "By the way, if you want, I'll work Stephens Day for you," he said. "I thought you were already working Stephens Day?" "Patrick changed the Roster. I have Stephens Day off now, and I'm not doing anything, so I'll work it for you if you like." "Seriously? Wow, thanks so much! You've pretty much saved my Christmas." I unwound the earphones from his neck and beamed up at him. "I guess I-- PATRICK FUCKING WHAT?! THAT LITTLE SHIT FUCKERING SHIT COCK. FUCK HIM, FUCK HIM UP THE ARSE. FUCKING OW," I added, as I drove my fist into a shelf accidentally. "I am SHITTING MY PANTS with rage." "Jesus Christ." Dave said. "I will fucking PISS in his CORNFLAKES," I continued emphatically. "I will rape his fucking DAUGHTERS with a DOG TOY. They are THREE and FIVE YEARS OLD." "Jesus fucking Christ," Dave repeated. Turning around and tripping up over the earphones, I regained my balance, walked into a printer display, fell over, stood up, walked into a customer, swerved into the Camera Desk, fell over, got up and marched into the office. Taking a deep breath of anger, I raised my fist and hammered on the door furiously. "Since when have you knocked?" Patrick asked cheerfully. "Um... did you give Dave St Stephens Day off?" I asked nervously. "Yeah, he wanted to go up and see his family." Patrick replied. "So did I." I said bitterly. "So I gave you Christmas Eve off." Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah semi-happy ending blah blah blah. I don't know. Christmas Eve off doesn't really help me because I'm working the day before, so I'll still get to Dublin the same time as if I was working that day. But Dave is working Stephens Day. Blah blah blah. By the way, I live near a place called Limerick. A lot of people die there. It's shit. MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Salka Posted December 4, 2004 Ooo, on a different note altogether, I finally get remixors avatar. On yet another note, my little sister just told me that the toothpaste I just brushed my teeth with had fallen down the toilet, and that she'd frigged it out with a friggin' rod, a pink friggin' rod. To quote: "Tatiana dropped it down the toilet, but don't worry, I got it out with a fris, a frish, a frishkin... I frished it out with a friggin' rod. My pink friggin' rod. Then I cleaned the shit off it with paper and put it back. So it's clean now." - Camille, 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Wormsie Posted December 4, 2004 Camille Saint-Saëns Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lindset Posted December 4, 2004 I know a guy from Norway who thinks he's from San Francisco. He's funny. He's confused. Are you from San Francisco or just Norway? Where in Norway are you from? Oh, yeah San Francisco, Norway I'm sure you've heard of it Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Erwin_Br Posted December 5, 2004 Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah semi-happy ending blah blah blah. I don't know. Christmas Eve off doesn't really help me because I'm working the day before, so I'll still get to Dublin the same time as if I was working that day. But Dave is working Stephens Day. Blah blah blah. MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY!!! Ah, good. Now I can finally sleep. Good night, folks. --Erwin Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nick Posted December 5, 2004 Yufster. I don't believe you. I don't believe you said any of that. I'm listening to the katamari demaci sound track and I can honestly say I don't believe you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nick Posted December 5, 2004 "I guess I-- PATRICK FUCKING WHAT?! THAT LITTLE SHIT FUCKERING SHIT COCK. FUCK HIM, FUCK HIM UP THE ARSE. FUCKING OW," I added, as I drove my fist into a shelf accidentally. "I am SHITTING MY PANTS with rage." "Jesus Christ." Dave said. "I will fucking PISS in his CORNFLAKES," I continued emphatically. "I will rape his fucking DAUGHTERS with a DOG TOY. They are THREE and FIVE YEARS OLD." "Jesus fucking Christ," Dave repeated. That bit. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Erwin_Br Posted December 5, 2004 You think she was inspired by a Penny Arcade cartoon? --Erwin Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nick Posted December 5, 2004 Well I don't really keep up to date with teh Penny arcade cartoons. Only when someone says 'hey did you see the latest Penny Arcade, it's hallarious' do I really check it out. I suppose I've made myself look stupid now have I? Bah, it doesn't really bother me. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Salka Posted December 5, 2004 Actually, the only part I DIDN'T say was "Shit fuckering shit cock". I did have some other nonsensical string of curse words, I just dubbed it over with a more popular, thumb-friendly phrase for the sake of the story. I'm back working Christmas Eve, by popular demand. Man. I wish somebody would make up their fucking mind. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Salka Posted December 5, 2004 Shattered Sponge says: I wish Tim Schafer would rape *me* Yufster, with a hint of bitterness, says: I'm going to quote this Shattered Sponge says: But don't tell him so; if he knows I want it, it's plain old boring consensual sex! shbazjinkens: You couldn't think of Mario? shbazjinkens: and you associated the Italians? YufsterChan: I kept thinking of Chris YufsterChan: Which made me think of my brother YufsterChan: Which made me think of Word Rescue shbazjinkens: I see YufsterChan: HAHAHAHAHA, MAN, THAT WORKED ON SO MANY FUCKING LEVELS YufsterChan: Dee was all, "Who has the Laptop Keys? Dave, do you?" YufsterChan: And I'm all, "DAVE WOULDN'T HAVE THEM!" YufsterChan: And he's all, "Pfft, whatcha mean, I wouldn't have them?" YufsterChan: Cause he hadn't sold any laptops, so, you know shbazjinkens: HAHAHAHA YufsterChan: What? shbazjinkens: You're so great shbazjinkens: You're never going to get any like that, but still, it's great Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shbazjinkens Posted December 6, 2004 I don't understand why she left out the part where she said that the reason Remo is so fun to make fun of is that he is goddamn sexy, or something like that. Why is that, Yuf? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Erwin_Br Posted December 6, 2004 I don't understand why she left out the part where she said that the reason Remo is so fun to make fun of is that he is goddamn sexy, or something like that.Why is that, Yuf? Because she's shy? *cough* --Erwin Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Salka Posted December 6, 2004 For the same reason as I didn't include the bit in the first conversation where I actually encouraged that particular direction that was being taken. I like to make other people look dumb, while making myself look clever and witty. Never works, but I think I might be getting a little better at it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lindset Posted December 7, 2004 I am also really uninteresting Is there any hope left for me? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
