Halo 2 Blamed for Deaths!11

[Redwall]

The small town of Stalybridge was in mourning yesterday after schoolboys John Francis, 20, and Rupert Youngblood, 15, were killed after re-enacting a scene from the latest killing simulator, called Halo.

The two copied a scene from the best-seller by turning John's father's car into an alien tank similar to the one found in the chilling game. They crashed the 'tank' into a wall after simulating destroying surrounding vehicles with energy blasts from the makeshift turret they erected, and both boys were killed.

'This game is a blueprint for murder,' stated barrister Edmund Woolf QC, representing the distraught parents of the boys. 'Players are encouraged to kill each other with "energy swords, "plasma grenades", and other weapons easily reconstructed with common household materials.'

The game was released last week to a general public outrage- video games are thought to be responsible for 50 deaths a week across the country. In the game players control a superhuman android who is trying to murder an entire race, something that is all too easy for youngsters to relate to.

'It's a disgrace what these companies get away with these days,' said Rupert's mother, bravely fighting back tears. 'Everybody knows that these games turn children into bloodthirsty maniacs, so why don't the government step in and stop me from buying them for my children?'

The tragedy is the latest in a long line of shocking incidents related to video game's insidious grasp on British youth. Two months ago Imran Patel, 14, made a 'Mario' plumber suit and imitated the game character with tragic results- three fellow students were killed as a result of Patel bouncing on top of their heads and eating mushrooms.

'Something must be done to control these games companies,' added Mr. Woolf. 'Their irresponsible depiction of extra-terrestrial war and encouragement of "deathmatches" ensure the corruption of our youth.'

Bungie, the creator of Halo, declined to comment.

http://www.xbox365.com/news/news.cgi/article/EEpEpplyFZxxlPzNfX8637

[Intrepid Homoludens]

OMFG! I mean, you just HAVE to laugh at the bottomless depth of human stupidity! Both in those 2 who killed themselves, and...

'This game is a blueprint for murder,' stated barrister Edmund Woolf QC, representing the distraught parents of the boys. 'Players are encouraged to kill each other with "energy swords, "plasma grenades", and other weapons easily reconstructed with common household materials.'

[Wormsie]

"The tragedy is the latest in a long line of shocking incidents related to video game's insidious grasp on British youth. Two months ago Imran Patel, 14, made a 'Mario' plumber suit and imitated the game character with tragic results- three fellow students were killed as a result of Patel bouncing on top of their heads and eating mushrooms."

From the comments: "you guys are @!*%ing dumbasses for posting stupid fake shit like this. @!*% you xbox 365"

[Intrepid Homoludens]

It's just so unreal, almost as gapingly astonishing as Kingz in an apricot silk taffeta dress with plunging neckline. Almost, of course.

[DanJW]

This reads like a parody. I'll bet a fiver that the writer is taking the piss at least a little.

And how can a 20-year-old be described as a schoolboy?

[MrHoatzin]

It's just so unreal, almost as gapingly astonishing as Kingz in an apricot silk taffeta dress with plunging neckline. Almost, of course.

I take it this is some sort of insidiouse joke I am not privy to.

[Marek]

Guys this is quite obviously a joke. A very very well done one, too.

[Twilo]

This reads like a parody.

It IS a parody, you doof.

[DanJW]

Heheh sorry, it was late, and some people seemed to be treating it as at least half true. With retrospect the Mario bit should have dispelled any thoughts of truthfulness

[netmonkey]

Some people are stupid and stupidity is the real reason for all of this, not Halo 2. However, I don't see any posts on Vidja Game news sites, so I doubt it's real.

[Farbror]

It seems like a parody, yes, but honestly, I didn't understand that until I saw that Mario part. I was so sure that it came from some stupid american news website, just beacuse I've already seen so many similar ones. I was surprised when I saw that it was a parody.

[ThunderPeel2001]

Some people are stupid and stupidity is the real reason for all of this, not Halo 2. However, I don't see any posts on Vidja Game news sites, so I doubt it's real.

Yes. People are stupid.

[Intrepid Homoludens]

We are? Wow.