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Killzone PS2 Demo giveaway!!!!! omg.

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I've got 4 Demos of Killzone for PAL PlayStation®2 here, anyone who wants them say so here and post your email address... erm.. actually i've got more than 4 and each one is accompanied by a killzone pen and some dodgy dog tags. possibly a poster if i can be arsed to find some way of posting them

I doubt too many people are interested but hey, its free.

Actually it's not free, each killzone demo must be swapped for a joke.

tell me a joke, win a demo, that sounds fair :)

go go go!

;)

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I've got 4 Demos of Killzone for PAL PlayStation®2

¬ ¬

sorry

i can send the other crap over though if you want? pen etc

i'll search for a bunch of US stuff later, i might have a few NTSC demos / full (but not very good) games around the office somewhere. :)

ill go and beat up the marketing guys until they give me NTSC demos.

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*tries desperately to come up with a good joke*

Ok. lame riddle then:

It's big, green, very dangerous, but not a tank. What is it?

Fooled you! It was a tank afteral!

ok maybe I do have a lame joke:

Walks a skeleton up to the bar: "one pint and a mop please"

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Here's my favorite D&D joke (even though I've never played D&D)

A 12th level Paladin takes his car to the shop.

"I don't know what's wrong," he says to the mechanic. "Normally I feel the urdge to do good things and help people out, but whenever I'm in my car, I feel like speeding and running over old ladies."

"Well, here's your problem," says the mechanic. "Your allignment is off."

*rim shot

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I can quote a pretty good Herman Finkers:

In een café klinkt een mop; het bedenkelijke werk:

,,een Jood een neger en een turk zitten samen in de kerk..."

,,Die grap is niet fijn,"

zegt de kastelijn,

,,hij is kwetsend, en bepaald niet sterk...

altijd weer die grappen over de kerk!"

Translated:

a guy in a bar tells an iffy joke:

,,a Jew, a negro and a turk are sitting in church..."

,,That joke isn't funny,"

says the barman,

,,It is hurtful, and not particularly inspired...

always those comments on the church!"

Man that falls flat on its face in English and without musical score O_O

Can I get a demo anyway? :P

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I’m not going to demand a demo, so you can have this hilarious joke for free.

What do you call a prostitute with white eyes?

Full.

:innocent:

I just remembered another hilarious joke!

What do you call a dog with no tongue?

Smelly bollocks.

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Wait, hang on. I got a joke.

  • Knock Knock
    Who's there?
    YO MOMMA!!!

No, wait, that was crap. Alright. Um... Oh! Got one! Got one!

  • Two policemen visited the President one raining night in late November. Dubya opened the door in his nightgown.
    "Mr President?" Said the First Policeman.
    "That's me!" Dubya said.
    "We'd like to you come with us," Said the Second Policeman, "To identify the mangling, raped and beaten bodies of your two daughters and your wife and also some various body parts from your father and the bodies of all your extended relatives and members of the Republican Party. Oh, and also, your Mother is dead."

Hahaha! That was hilarious! And wait, I've got more!

  • George W. Bush walks into a bar, breaks his nose, and dies while undergoing cosmetic surgery two weeks later.

Wait! Whoa! I'm having a ... a WAVE of ideas! They just keep coming! I think I'm a genius or something! Here's another!

  • George W. Bush goes to the doctor.
    "Doctor, my leg hurts," he complains.
    "Yes, hmmm, yes," said the Doctor, gravely. "I can see we're going to have to amputate your testicles and then kill your Mom until she's dead."

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Oh, also, let me try to translate that joke a little better, Rodi:

A guy in a bar tells a joke.

"A stinkin' Jew, a dirty nigger and a dumb and unfunny turkish person are sitting in a church--" he begins.

"That's not funny," interjected the Barman coldly. "That's no way to talk about the church."

That joke smells of pooh. Man, if only I had one of those Age Verification things, I'd send you a whole bunch of crap porno right now. Oh, and also if your Mom probably wasn't dead.

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Here's a nice, utterly lame joke. Make sure you read the speech as if its a common noise made by the animal, OK?

A chicken walks into a library, goes up to the librarian and says 'Book! Book! Book!'. Now, after the initial shock of having just seen a chicken wander in and start asking her questions, the librarian gives the chicken some books. And off the chicken goes, out of the library.

The next day, the chicken is back, goes up to the librarian and says 'Book! Book! Book!'. Slightly puzzles, the librarian nevertheless decides to give the chicken some more books, and the chicken wanders out again.

The next day, the chicken is there yet again, and it goes up to the libarian and says 'Book! Book! Book!'. The librarian is now feeling a little nosy, and so follows the chicken as it leaves the library. They go down the street, and out of the town, through a couple of fields and a small patch of woodland, until they come to a clearing. And in that clearing is a pond. And in that pond, sitting on a lilly, is a frog. And every time the chicken passes the frog a book, it just says 'Readit! Readit! Readit!'.

I thank you. I'm off to grab my coat now, if anybody wants me...

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ahaha i thank you for your aweseome jokes. They made the week of work slightly less lame :)

so far i count one person who wants a demo :)

just pm me your postal address and ill send the stuff to you, that goes for anyone else that cares :)

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Thanks for making my lameass joke better sounding, Yufster. But it just works better in its original language, told by the actual cabaretier who made it, with the proper musical companionship, and when it's rhyming. But hey, a desperate man can try.

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First joke: Three people are drafted for assassin school, two guys and a girl. The instructor has three rooms set up for each draftee to demonstrate their required skills in a final test. The instrcutor brings up the first guy(a 3 time felon of armed robbery), hands him a pistol, and tells him, "I hope you know, this is the REAL test here. So, go in there and do what ya gotta do." The draftee looks the instructor in the face and says, "no problem". He goes in and for 5min there is silence. The guy comes back out crying and says, "why, you didn't tell me my mother was in there I cant kill her, I love her" The instructor looks back at him and says, "It's ok son, you weren't the first pussy to fail, pack your bags and go home." The guy walks off and the second guy is called foreward. The Instructor brings the the second guy(an ex-military thrown out of service for abusive actions against captured and non captured enemy troops) to his room, hands him the first guy's pistol, and says, "You should have the balls, You know what the routine is, go do it." With an evil smile the guy goes in and after 5min comes out also crying and says, "That's my wife in there, I cant kill the mother of my children." The Instructor looks at him and says, "Well, you failed; that is als I know." He dismisses the guy and calls the girl up to her room, hands her the same pistol and wanting to get one draftee to pass says, "Ok, here's the deal. Your husband is in there, and we have evidence that he has been cheating on you with six other women, and has plans to do you too." The girl looks at him angrily, grabs the pistol out of the instructor's hand, and says, "That lyin' B@$t@rd, I knew screwing around with me!" The instructor watches amazed as she went in fast and quiet. At first, 2min of silence; then it broke out with a gunshot (BANG). The Instrcutor looks at the door saying to himself, "Finally, someone passed." Suddenly there are more shots, as the girl unloaded the pistol magazine. 30sec of silence, the Instructor looks at the door of the romm puzzled. Listening quietly, he hears the start of a struggle, it last for 5min. Later the girl walks out, looks at the Instuctor and says, "I wish you would have told me that pistol was full of blanks, I had to beat the @$$hole to death with a chair!"

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A guy gets talking to another guy in a pub. It turns that they went to the same school, and as they reminisce the drinkling gets heavier, despite Guy B's protests. Eventually, at throwing out time, Guy B is all but unconcious, and Guy A feels bad for getting his new friend so wasted. He helps him to his feet, but B immediately falls down agian. "Shit" thinks A, "He's totally out of it". So he checks B's driving licence for his address and drags him home over his shoulder, protesting and mumbling all the way. Guy B's wife answers the door, looks him up and down and says "Fucking hell, you haven't gone and lost your wheelchair down the pub again have you?"

Thankyou, thankyou, I'm here all week, try the ostrich steak!

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A third grader is in his Science class, when the teacher starts teaching the class about whales and says, "Did you know class that most whales' throats are so narrow they can only eat plankton?" Having remembered his Sunday School lesson in church the other day; the boy raises his hand to open a whale discussion and says, "Teacher; Jonah was swallowed by a whale." the teacher turned and looked at him puzzled and amazed at the boy, began to correct the boy and says, "Well, there is no physical eveidence that a whale can swallow a man." Yet the boy is determind at what he believes. the teacher continues to teach the class urging the boy to understand that Jonah could not have been swallowed by a whale, but the boy remained unmoved in opinion. So the boy raises his hand in class again and says to the teacher, "Teacher, when I go to heaven I'll ask Jonah if he got swallowed by a whale and then we will knowif whales can swallow us." Intreged by the boy's stout heart in his faith, the teacher responds by asking, "But what if he isn't in heaven when you get there, what if he went to hell?" The boys looks at her once more before class is dismissed and says, "Well, then you can ask him." Kids say the Darnest Things

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