Important If True 42: The Ghosts of Hoistmas Past

[Jake]

Important If True 42:

The Ghosts of Hoistmas Past
You thought you were getting a new episode this week? We have news for you: Ho-Ho-Hoisted. That's right, it's bullshit Holiday Clip Show episode time, in which we are visited by ghosts (and goblins) of Important If True's past, and are  are reminded time and again how ridiculous this all is. Join us as we try to remember what "Hoistmas" is and what it could possibly mean, as we rifle through the Important If True archives to see if we're right. 

We'll be back next week with a full real holiday episode: The Important If True First Annual Bad Gift Special! See you then!

Featuring your favorite recycled Holiday Content: Who is Lord Hoistmas? (From Important If True 16: The Pizza, the Bee, and the Trash Can), What are some Hoistmas traditions? (From Important If True 18: Important If Rhymes With True), Who are the Yule Lads and do they just lick things? (From Important If True 20: Christmas Is Canceled), Is a cursed Pizza Hut lamp the ultimate Hoisting? (From Important If True 39: Organoids and the Human Mini-Brains), Warmest Greetings (From Idle Thumbs 293: Warmest Greetings)

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[newgameplus]

I have two very important questions. Is Jokey Smurf perpetually celebrating Hoistmas? And is forgetting what Hoistmas even is the real Hoistmas?

[Kyir]

On the topic of garlic troves, I’m feeling especially hoisted by Blue Apron as the bottom shelf of this cabinet continues to fill.

[BigJKO]

Being from Iceland, I remember being so fucking scared of the Yulecat and the Yulelads' mother and father. The thought of not getting enough new Christmas clothes and being eaten before Christmas Eve was terrifying. I always liked the Yulelads, obviously because they gave me gifts (except that fucker, Ladle-licker who gave me a potato), but as I grew older I slowly realized that their behaviour was creepy as shit..

 

 

[Chris]

5 hours ago, Kyir said:

On the topic of garlic troves, I’m feeling especially hoisted by Blue Apron as the bottom shelf of this cabinet continues to fill.

 

Roast them shits up and spread em on toast

[Deadpan]

7 hours ago, Kyir said:

On the topic of garlic troves, I’m feeling especially hoisted by Blue Apron as the bottom shelf of this cabinet continues to fill.

 

One of Nick's endorsements, It's Alive with Brad, provides a possible solution: Make some fermented garlic honey.

[Problem Machine]

Do we have a canonical character design for Lord Hoistmas yet? Because

There's a problem with the toilet

[CaptainFish]

Planning to do a Hoistmas extravaganza and then forgetting what the heck the holiday entails is peak hoisting. Well done, Lord Hoistmas will be around to say some choice words to you soon.

[Goose Malloy]

Alternatively I think I have an Indian cookbook somewhere in my house that has a curry recipe that literally calls for 100 cloves of garlic, which does seem a tad excessive (I've never tried making it so couldn't vouch for whether it's a good recipe or not), but it could be a decent solution to your problem.

[Aesopscables]

I listen to this episode every holiday season. It is an honest tradition. I miss you guys! Merry Hoistmas.