Chris Posted March 23, 2017 Important If True 6: Get Hoisted If you could go back to King Arthur times, how would you impress all those medieval idiots? Would you dazzle them with memes? Would they celebrate you, or hoist you? Who's the man, they might ask? Are you the man? Find out, in over 45 minutes of audio content you'll actually want to listen to! If you enjoyed this and would like to subscribe to an ad-free feed, please consider supporting Idle Thumbs by backing our Patreon. Discussed: Snapple, A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court, Credit Human, Egg Cuber, meme dreams, Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones DVD release TV spot, Jeff Goldblum Jake's Endorsement: Illinois Institute of Technology fight song Chris' Endorsement: shoe horn (approachable normal sized shoe horn; intimidating weird large shoe horn) Nick's Endorsement: Hot Winter Hot Sauce Also: Listen through to the end for a sneak peek at our new true history miniseries, Something True! Listen on the Episode Page Listen on Soundcloud Listen in iTunes Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
infamous space turtle Posted March 24, 2017 Thanks Chris, Yo da man. I just realised I haven't heard that style of trailer voice in many years, it sounded dated to me. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gormongous Posted March 24, 2017 The funny thing about the medieval mind (and the mind of the average human in general) is that they'd be much more likely to be impressed by the aspects of modern life that fit within their frame of reference: you wear purple, you have spices and perfumes freely available for use, you eat meat with every meal, you bathe more than once a week. By those standards, even members of the working class today live like minor nobility. A small box that shows strange pictures and plays music in foreign tongues? The tinker the next village over has one that does the same, albeit not nearly so small or so fine. They'd lack the context to appreciate what a colossal feat a smartphone is, at least insofar as what distinguishes it from the talking heads and levitating thrones that already littered the fictive landscape of the Middle Ages. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NuclearMonster Posted March 24, 2017 Was the Snapple bottle open when you first saw it, Chris? If not, I bet the cap was defective or tightened too much by the robot that did it, and so it was impossible to get open with normal human hands. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gormanate Posted March 24, 2017 Gotta have the spice Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ash_NR Posted March 24, 2017 I have to wonder what ads are served up to Chris "Feed me memes, fetch my shoehorn" Remo. "He doesn't fit into any of these boxes", a pair of box sorting robots say to one another. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
preston Posted March 24, 2017 This is the commercial I remember the most (and likely the one Jake was referring to) for DVDs. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gamebeast23456 Posted March 24, 2017 I think it's also worth mentioning how a lot of medieval people lived in the shadow of fallen civilizations that were obviously better than them. It is something that I don't think a modern American could ever really understand. The idea of living in the shadow of people who have been dead for hundreds of years but were clearly more advanced. I have to imagine their upper boundary for possible things was pretty high, not even getting to how lots of them probably also believed in magic and stuff like that. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wightlight Posted March 24, 2017 I'm looking forward to seeing where this dark path of increasingly longer shoe horns leads for Chris. I've been down this road of laziness myself, and it has led me to buying clog-like shoes without backs as my everyday footwear. I endorse these in particular. But I often ask myself, how can I take this even further? Sock shoes perhaps? But then I would still have the troublesome matter of bending over to put on socks. And that's when you find out they make a sock horn. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gormongous Posted March 24, 2017 50 minutes ago, Gamebeast23456 said: I think it's also worth mentioning how a lot of medieval people lived in the shadow of fallen civilizations that were obviously better than them. It is something that I don't think a modern American could ever really understand. The idea of living in the shadow of people who have been dead for hundreds of years but were clearly more advanced. I have to imagine their upper boundary for possible things was pretty high, not even getting to how lots of them probably also believed in magic and stuff like that. That's incredibly apt and true. Also, especially towards the eleventh century and onward, the general sense of history and human progress was the opposite of our modern positivism: things were better in the past, closer to the state of grace in Eden, and moral decay was seen as more significant than technological advancement. And, FYI, a petard is a small explosive charge set within a conical or rectangular plate of metal, used to breach walls or gates. You get hoisted with your own petard because it goes off prematurely and the blast flings your body in the air: in Shakespeare's time, whence the saying comes, the emphasis of "hoist" was on the direction of the motion and not the means. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Antcopter Posted March 24, 2017 shoe horns are fantastic. especially if you wear any sort of stiffer or more structured footwear like dress shoes or boots. it prevents the back of the shoe from being crushed and damaged over time and makes putting them on so much easier! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sullitude Posted March 24, 2017 45 Brains Update Submit your own proposals for brains to @45brains on Twitter. 406 podcasts remain. #6 - Credit Human Looks and sounds like the human it aspires to be. Good rates. Status: Confirmed Message: "Please bank with human" #9 - The Mad Snappler Poses as a woman unable to open Snapple bottles with the supplied lid. Status: Proposed Message: "Must consume electrolytes." #9 - Bryan Lunduke His vehement denial raises suspicions of binary thinking. Status: Suspected Message: "#NoComment #DefinitelyNotBrain45" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chris Posted March 24, 2017 2 hours ago, Antcopter said: shoe horns are fantastic. especially if you wear any sort of stiffer or more structured footwear like dress shoes or boots. it prevents the back of the shoe from being crushed and damaged over time and makes putting them on so much easier! This person gets it. I wear dress shoes most days and they are stiffer than sneakers. This makes it so easy! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sullitude Posted March 24, 2017 4 minutes ago, Chris said: This person gets it. I wear dress shoes most days and they are stiffer than sneakers. This makes it so easy! I can't help but feel like shoe-horns should be things that just come with homes and rented apartments. Like a doorstop or broken thermostat. I genuinely can't imagine what any of those three things would cost to actually purchase. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jutranjo Posted March 25, 2017 A lot of houses I've been to have shoe horns. It's not everywhere but it's pretty common. Almost all of them are the long tongue variety and made out of metal, shiny and chrome. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dium Posted March 25, 2017 I too have a big long (red, metal) shoehorn that I keep hanging near my front door, as well as a travel shoehorn. I have also been made fun of by visiting "friends" for owning said shoehorns. I didn't know shoehorn ownership was ao mockable but clearly it is so. (Chris's endorsements so far have eerily all been for things I have myself evangelized to my friends, at some point. This includes his recent endorsement in another thread for learning to make miso soup. I'm sorry for possibly making it a little weird by not keeping this to myself) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Atlantic Posted March 25, 2017 1 hour ago, RubixsQube said: SHAWN I'm going to "Um, actually" this but Shawn is just an anglicisation of the Irish name Seán, which the the Gaelicised version of the name John or Jean. +1 for schoying horne though Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SecretAsianMan Posted March 25, 2017 I have the exact model of long shoehorn that Chris linked. I got it for my wife when she was pregnant because she couldn't bend over easily to put her shoes on and the standing shoehorn helped immensely. Since then it's been hanging on a hook next to the shoe rack and it is very satisfying to use. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RubixsQube Posted March 25, 2017 3 hours ago, Atlantic said: I'm going to "Um, actually" this but Shawn is just an anglicisation of the Irish name Seán, which the the Gaelicised version of the name John or Jean. +1 for schoying horne though I am aware that the name Shawn is not a shortened form of the word for shoehorn, as I did the photoshopping of the image to make it say what it says Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jake Posted March 25, 2017 I love it and my brief discovery of it, falling for it, and shame-laughing window are all captured on air in next weeks ep. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Atlantic Posted March 25, 2017 9 minutes ago, RubixsQube said: I am aware that the name Shawn is not a shortened form of the word for shoehorn, as I did the photoshopping of the image to make it say what it says I would say that was a successful "Um, actually" on my behalf, because it showed me to be a real ding-a-ling! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RubixsQube Posted March 25, 2017 4 minutes ago, Atlantic said: I would say that was a successful "Um, actually" on my behalf, because it showed me to be a real ding-a-ling! You are correct, though, it is in fact from the gaelic Seán! Also, "schoying horne" is actually the earliest term for the device, apparently. Also, I still have no idea how to use one Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bairrd Posted March 26, 2017 Long time listener, first time poster. This episode was phenomenal. I haven't laughed this hard in a while. Jake's insane meme dream, and the fact that I just ordered a shoe-horn on Amazon, makes this episode so wonderfully great. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chris Posted March 26, 2017 5 hours ago, Jake said: I love it and my brief discovery of it, falling for it, and shame-laughing window are all captured on air in next weeks ep. This was a very good moment and we are all fortunate we recorded next week's episode before Jake had the chance to realize his error. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
