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I had already, earlier in the thread, asserted my positive stance on mayo-on-pizza (with the it-must-be-Japanese-mayo caveat).


The AV club's food section (which is a thing now I guess?) has two pieces today relevant to this thread, as if they were reading it looking for content ideas. They include a brief bio on the afore mentioned kewpie mayo, and an even briefer something about ketchup chips. The latter makes a fair case for how ketchup chips can be decent even though ketchup is (as we all agree) garbage juice with vomit.

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Malcolm Gladwell wrote a piece on attempts to popularize the idea of small-batch, artisanal ketchups in like 2004 and the thing is an adventure.


A number of years ago, the H. J. Heinz Company did an extensive market-research project in which researchers went into people’s homes and watched the way they used ketchup. “I remember sitting in one of those households,” Casey Keller, who was until recently the chief growth officer for Heinz, says. “There was a three-year-old and a six-year-old, and what happened was that the kids asked for ketchup and Mom brought it out. It was a forty-ounce bottle. And the three-year-old went to grab it himself, and Mom intercepted the bottle and said, ‘No, you’re not going to do that.’ She physically took the bottle away and doled out a little dollop. You could see that the whole thing was a bummer.” For Heinz, Keller says, that moment was an epiphany. A typical five-year-old consumes about sixty per cent more ketchup than a typical forty-year-old, and the company realized that it needed to put ketchup in a bottle that a toddler could control. “If you are four—and I have a four-year-old—he doesn’t get to choose what he eats for dinner, in most cases,” Keller says. “But the one thing he can control is ketchup. It’s the one part of the food experience that he can customize and personalize.” As a result, Heinz came out with the so-called EZ Squirt bottle, made out of soft plastic with a conical nozzle. In homes where the EZ Squirt is used, ketchup consumption has grown by as much as twelve per cent.

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